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How to educate children who live with in-laws

Because many young parents are busy with work, they live with their parents-in-law and entrust their children to the elderly to take care of them. However, living together will inevitably lead to family conflicts due to the different education methods of the two generations. What should I do? The following is the information I share with you on how to educate your children while living with your parents-in-law. I hope it can help you!

How to educate your children while living with your parents-in-law

　1 First of all, we must understand that children are the continuation of the love of the elderly, and do not blame the elderly.

"Kids across generations" is a very deep, delicate and indescribable emotion. When they see their children having children, most old people are simply overjoyed. Not to mention that their grandchildren want toys, even stars and moons. If they can pick them off, they are willing to give them to them! Some old people care about their livelihood when they are young and invest a lot in their children. I have less energy, and I am satisfied that my children can be fed, clothed, and read books.

Now that living conditions are better and I am more leisurely, I have developed a compensatory mentality. I want to make up for the lack of love for my children in my grandchildren. I will love my children extra, respond to their requests, and even use... It's not an exaggeration to describe it as "it's afraid of falling when you hold it in your hand, and it's afraid of melting when you hold it in your mouth". If this happens for a long time, it is indeed easy to spoil the child.

If parents blame the elderly for incorrect ways of raising their children, or directly propose our parenting methods very arbitrarily, the elderly will suddenly find it difficult to accept, and it will also hurt the elderly's heart. Most elderly people in China have little life of their own. When they were young, taking care of their children was the focus of their lives. When their children grow up and they themselves get older, they take care of their grandchildren as the focus of their lives. If we rashly change or criticize the education of the elderly, it will hurt the hearts of the elderly. Old people also love their children. Young parents should not blame the old people.

2. Communicate more with the elderly and establish a united front for the whole family

Young parents should communicate more with the elderly at home, talk more about education methods, learn from each other, learn from each other’s strengths, and learn from their parents’ and grandparents’ The parenting philosophy must be consistent in a family so that children can know what behaviors are acceptable and what behaviors are not allowed, otherwise the children will be confused. When it comes to educating children, all members of the family must form a united front. Young parents must not be busy disciplining the children while the elderly follow suit.

Young parents and the elderly should reach an agreement. When disciplining their children, it is best for the elderly not to intervene and strive to maintain the dignity of the young parents in front of their children. In this way, the children will not be self-centered and learn to Respect your parents. Even if the two parties have differences, do not expose them in front of the children. This will only allow the children to have a little luck when they make mistakes.

3 Never compromise on issues of principle

When it comes to educating children, never compromise on issues of principle. Even if the old man intervenes, parents must bravely stick to their point of view and let him know not to violate the bottom line. Don't interrupt normal education just because the other person is an old person. This will only make the children feel that they have someone to back them up no matter what mistakes they make. Of course, in order to avoid exacerbating family conflicts, parents can avoid children and actively communicate with the elderly afterwards to minimize head-on conflicts. Parents should try not to discipline their children in front of the elderly, and avoid the elderly when trying to reason with their children.

But remember, when educating children, never completely deny the old man’s approach, as this will only make the children have a rebellious mentality.

Advantages of the elderly educating children

Advantage 1: Patience and carefulness

Mother-in-law has been hardworking throughout her life, and Coco is also very hardworking: I see grandma washing dishes or washing clothes , she would go over to help; she started eating by herself when she was very young; when her grandparents were tired, she would help them pat their backs and rub their shoulders?

My mother-in-law’s own cultural level is not high, but she is very caring. She bought a lot of stickers and pasted them on the wall, including pictures of people, fruits and vegetables, numbers, and zodiac signs. She taught Keke to read and read countless times every day. Her mother-in-law also bought many books for Cocoa and read them with her every day before she went to bed, and then read them for a while after she got up in the morning. Now Cocoa has developed the habit of reading a book in the morning and evening.

I often lament: If I had taken care of my children independently, I would not be as sensible and smart as I am now.

Coco’s mother-in-law always washes her clothes by hand. After washing, she scalds them with hot water and puts them in the sun to dry. All out-of-season clothes should be washed, and then packed and stored separately from those that can be worn in the future and those that cannot be worn. Even Coco’s furry toys, puzzles and even building blocks are cleaned frequently. (Coca-Cola 3333)

Advantage 2: Rich experience and flexibility

Some of the experiences of the elderly are not outdated and are very useful. I often read a lot of scientific parenting methods from the Internet and books. Sometimes these methods are very effective, but sometimes they cannot be copied. For example, many parenting materials say that children should wear one less piece of clothing than adults because children are always moving and sweat easily. This is true in theory, but it doesn't apply all the time. I remember one time we were taking our children out to play. It was the season change, so Yaya’s grandma gave the children an extra piece of clothing to wear. I didn't take it seriously at first, and even wanted to object. After going out, I found that the old man was right. At that time, Yaya was not very good at walking. I wanted her to walk more after we went out, but that day she refused to get out of the house even though I said nothing, and she spent most of the time sitting in the car. Although the temperature outside was not low that day, the wind was a bit chilly. It was a wise move to put on an extra layer of clothing for her. (Yan Se)

Advantage 3: Simple philosophy and time

As soon as Nan Nan was born, her mother made a three-part agreement with us, one of which was: "Let the animals be free-range and not in captivity." The mother believes that it is more effective for children to understand things in nature than in books. Therefore, when Nannan was 40 days old, my mother encouraged me to take him outside to breathe fresh air in nature. When he got older, he played everywhere with his grandma and grandpa. Although we would take him there when we had time, when we were at work, grandma and grandpa would spend more time taking him to see the vast new world. All the parks and beaches in Weihai, Chengshantou in Rongcheng, Xixiakou Wildlife Park, Shidao Bay, Kunyu Mountain in Wendeng, Silver Beach in Rushan, and the underwater world in Penglai? In short, he went to almost all the mountains and seas in the Jiaodong Peninsula. Played with. This plays a vital role in his cheerful personality and strong physique.

Suggestions for parents to educate their children

01 Let go of your strength and reflect more

In the parent-child relationship, as parents who are the dominant group, if they can deal with parent-child conflicts If you reflect more on your responsibilities, your children may be more considerate of your difficulties, more likely to rely on you, and more willing to accept your teachings. On the contrary, if you just accuse indiscriminately from a high position, it will only make your children farther and farther away from you.

02 Learn to encourage children

Parents must remember that a child who is psychologically shocked will inevitably become a person who does nothing. If children who do not receive encouragement are like seedlings that have been in drought for a long time, then some children who not only do not receive encouragement but are often hit will only become withered grass that dies of thirst. Therefore, in addition to blaming children for their mistakes, they should also be encouraged accordingly.

03 Pay attention to children’s frustrations

When a child tells his parents “I feel uncomfortable” or “I am disappointed”, careless parents will often laugh it off. They would say: "Children, how can you feel frustrated? Don't be naughty. You have nothing to be disappointed about." ?However, since adults are frustrated, so are children.

Because no matter our age, we are all human beings, and as long as we are human beings, we will have different feelings. Adults need help from others when they are frustrated, don’t children? Of course they do!

04 Cultivating children’s good character

Whether a person is happy often depends on this What kind of character a person has. Therefore, in the process of children's growth, parents should always put it in an extremely important position to cultivate their children's good character. As a child grows up, many problems will arise.

Not only are they growing up physically, but they are also changing psychologically day by day.

As a parent, you must not focus all your energy on your child's body and ignore another important aspect of your child's growth? Psychological growth.