Labeling children must be a bad thing? The key depends on how you post it, and the child will be better after posting it.

Xiaoqing loves to cry. She will cry for a long time when she is criticized by her mother, unhappy with her classmates, or accidentally falls.

Mother wants Xiaoqing to be stronger, but there has been no effective way.

Until one day, my mother read a story called the positive label effect.

During World War II, the United States was short of troops, so it enriched the prisoners serving their sentences in prisons into the army.

But these prisoners are sloppy and have many bad habits, and they can't command them at all.

To this end, the army invited a psychologist to see if this situation can be changed. The psychologist did nothing but ask the prisoner to write a letter to his family once a week.

The content of the letter was drawn up by psychologists, mainly to write about his good behavior of obeying discipline and being brave in fighting in the army, and then let the prisoner copy it again.

A few months later, the words and deeds of these prisoners really changed dramatically, almost like the regular army described in the letter.

Later, psychologists called this phenomenon the label effect.

Mother also wanted to try this trick, so she deliberately labeled Xiaoqing as strong and told her daughter many times that she was brave, not afraid of pain and difficulties.

Xiao Qing's eyes sparkled when she heard her mother say this.

After that, my mother took Xiaoqing to the square to compete who ran fast on the road.

Xiaoqing accidentally fell down and was about to open her mouth to cry. Her mother quickly said that Xiaoqing is a strong child and won't cry because of falling.

Hearing this, Xiao Qing skid stood up from the ground, made a face, and ran away.

This label effect is real! Mother sighed.

Yes, labeling children used to be mostly negative news. That's because many parents put negative labels on their children, which definitely has a negative impact.

However, if you put a positive label on your child, the child will follow the label and effectively get rid of his shortcomings, more and more like the positive label you put on him.

1. No matter how big the problem is, children can get rid of it with positive labels.

There was a child whose parents divorced and lived with his father. He learned to smoke and drink with his father when he was very young.

Later, I got into the bad habit of gambling, and finally I was sent to prison for robbery because I lost too much gambling.

At this time, everyone thought that the child was hopeless, but his mother firmly believed that the child could be improved.

Every time I visit the prison, my mother will say, "Son, although you made a mistake, my mother knows that you will be able to correct it, be responsible for yourself and your family and be useful to the country."

At first, the child turned a deaf ear to his mother's words.

Every time his mother came, he talked and listened many times, and saw her trusting and firm eyes. The boy somehow felt that he could get better and began to actively reform.

In the past few years, after the boy got out of prison, he not only got rid of his bad habits, but also taught himself the skills of repairing cars, earned money to support himself and his mother, and donated money to do good deeds for the disaster areas.

The once-fallen boy turned over a new leaf under the influence of his mother's repeated labeling.

Once a child accepts the label posted by his parents, he will give himself great strength and develop towards the label.

In this regard, Goethe once said: "You look at a person's status quo, he will maintain the status quo; If you look at a person with his ability and due achievements, he will develop towards this goal. "

In pedagogy, there is a famous "bimoro's law": what kind of person a child will become with what kind of eyes you look at.

The mother thinks that the child will definitely get rid of the problem and the child will really get better!

2. Make good use of label hints to make children better and better.

Once, a professor of research and education went to a primary school to give a lecture, during which she asked the children to talk about their strengths and ideals.

Everyone spoke enthusiastically, except one little girl who kept her head down.

The professor walked up to the child and the child asked, "What's your name? Let's talk about your strengths and future ideals. "

The little girl glanced at the professor blankly and whispered, "My name is Xiaolan, and my grades are not good. Both my mother and my teacher say that I am a big idiot. "

"I feel that I have no advantages and I don't know what I can do in the future. I have no ideal. "

After listening to the girl's words, the professor's heart was pulled.

Seeing the little girl sitting there quietly all the time, the professor decided to use it to help the girl improve her self-confidence.

So, the professor asked in front of all the children, "Look, Xiaolan has always been very quiet, and it doesn't bother me to give you a lecture or interfere with your speech. Is she a sensible girl? "

"Yes!" The children answered loudly in unison.

The professor found Xiaolan's eyes lit up, probably because she had never heard such a compliment.

In order to further enhance Xiaolan's self-confidence, the professor also said to her: "Listen, the students all say that you are a good boy. In fact, you have many advantages and can do great things in the future. "

"I am an educator. Believe what I said, you will certainly realize your ideal in the future. "

"Really?" Xiaolan is skeptical.

The professor nodded hard, and then found Xiaolan's eyes brighter, her body sitting up straight and her head raised.

The little girl's fate was completely changed because of a positive label from the professor. Later, Xiaolan really became more confident and her life was cheerful.

No matter how well a child behaves, he needs the support, encouragement and affirmation of his parents.

The writer Hanako once said, "Children are like this. What kind of person do you think he is, what kind of person he will become. "

Under the psychological hint of positive labels, children will have wonderful changes in their hearts, become diligent and diligent, and eventually become an excellent child.

3. There is no problem, maybe you have mislabeled it.

In order to ensure Xiaowen has enough sleep time, her parents stipulate that her bedtime should not exceed 10 every day.

Xiaowen often watches TV or plays games after finishing his homework. Her mother urges her daughter many times every day, and Xiaowen barely rests.

My mother urges Xiaoqing like this every day. My daughter is very unhappy and my mother is too tired, but she can't find a better way for her husband to take care of her.

On this day, my father went to Xiaowen, sat down next to him and said, "Daughter, is the game fun?"

"fun!" Xiaowen answered without looking up.

"Although fun, but now it's more than ten o' clock, it's time to go to bed. I believe my daughter will go to bed on her own initiative, and I don't need to call again. "

After listening to her father's words, the daughter looked up at her father, who nodded at him and walked back to the study.

After about two minutes, my father heard Xiaowen walk into his bedroom.

The next day, Xiaowen forgot to sleep again. That's what dad did. A minute later, Xiaowen went to bed.

On the third day, at the beginning of dad's words, Xiaowen immediately got up and went to bed.

From then on, Xiaowen didn't have to call his father many times to rest.

The child is naughty and doesn't sleep, and the parents have urged him many times. The conclusion is that the child can't change and the child may get worse and worse.

On the contrary, by putting a positive label on the child and believing that she can go to bed on time, the child may be able to change his bad behavior and do better every time.

When others praise you, your heart will naturally behave particularly well.

Because that person thinks you are very nice, and you don't want to let the other person down. So, you will "do as he says".

Therefore, in life, smart parents will put positive labels on their children to imply that over time, the behaviors expected by parents will appear as expected.

So, how can parents correctly hint at influencing their children by putting positive labels on them? Grasp the following three points:

First, the guide tag implies that

For example, when you come home from school, ask your child, "You are a good boy who likes to preview. What classes do you need to preview tomorrow? "

Or guide the child before going out: "You are a child with a memory, what else do you need to bring?" Let children recall quickly in their brains.

Only after parents repeatedly put positive labels to guide hints can children become better and better.

Second, the scene label tips

If you want your children to learn to paint, take them to visit the painting and calligraphy exhibition.

If you want your children to learn piano, take them to concerts more often.

Let children experience the beauty of art in a specific situation and fall in love with this hobby imperceptibly, which is the magical effect implied by situational labels.

Third, the behavior label implies that

When the child speaks on the stage, parents make the gesture of "You are the best".

When children are sad, parents will give them a big hug to show their love.

These behavioral labels suggest that children will become more confident.