Humorous copy necessary for happiness

1. Take the bus and ask the driver why he chose to drive the bus. I thought the driver would say something about life, but the driver said, "I just like the feeling that other people's lives are in my hands."

My mother likes playing mahjong, but then I was born. My mother resolutely gave up mahjong for me and my family because she thought it was more interesting to hit me.

When eating in the canteen, I was excited to find that there was a piece of braised pork in the rice, but there was a lot of hair on it. So it took two hours to pluck the hair, and when I ate it, I found it was a piece of ginger.

4. Two cows are grazing together. The green cow asked the black cow, "Hello! What's the smell of your grass? " The black cow said, "Strawberry flavor!" The green cow leaned down and took a bite, and shouted angrily, "You lied to me!" " The black cow gave him a contemptuous look and replied, "Idiot, I said grass is tasteless."

5. Who says boys and girls don't have pure friendship? As long as you are ugly, the whole world is your friend!

6. Today, a buddy's wife gave birth and called me to report the good news. I was going to ask him: Is it a boy or a girl? As a result, the brain asked him: Whose is it? Now this guy has to do a paternity test, and his wife won't live or die. I think it's best to stand by and keep silent.

7. When I broke up with my ex, I was fine during the day, but I couldn't restrain my inner emotions at night, and I secretly laughed alone under the quilt.

8. Stop complaining that you can't find the right person among1400 million people, and you can't find the correct answer to four multiple-choice questions.

9. A school scum fell in love early and was called to the office by the class teacher to talk. After several hours of gradual enlightenment and persuasion, the class teacher finally understood the reason why he had been unable to find a girlfriend in his thirties.

10. My wife asked me: If a female colleague seduces you, will you listen? I smiled and shook my head, ha ha, who do you take me for? Am I the kind of person who will tell you what you really think?

1 1. In order to prevent my son from becoming a rich second generation, being criticized and treating others differently, I am poor.

12. In class, the teacher asked the students to write a composition entitled-If I were a manager. The students gradually began to write, except for a boy who leaned back proudly, crossing his legs and cutting his nails. The teacher came over and asked him, why don't you write? The student said indifferently, "What do you need a secretary for such a trivial matter?"

13. You must save money well this month, go to bed early and get up early, run every day, and lose weight by the way. If not, send it again next month.

14. I was beaten when I was a child, and I was very wronged. I feel that I am definitely not my own, and I have been planning to run away from home. Now that I have children, I suddenly realize that my parents didn't kill me, but they really love me!

15. Xiaoming called: Mom, I was fired from the company. Mom: Ah! Why? Xiaoming: I called the chairman an idiot and the company held a high-level meeting to sue me. Mom: Sue you for libel, right? Xiao Ming: No, they said they would sue me for leaking company secrets.

16. If you feel sick and retching when brushing your teeth, don't brush your teeth in front of the mirror.

17. People always have expectations, so that life is meaningful. For example, looking forward to class, looking forward to school, looking forward to holidays, looking forward to school holidays.

18. My nephew 10 is old and doesn't study hard. My brother took my nephew to the construction site and pointed to a pile of cement bricks to let him move. He said that if you don't study hard, you will go to the construction site to move bricks when you grow up. My nephew picked up a piece, just took two steps, and whispered, Dad, I think it's too difficult to move bricks. I don't want to move bricks! As soon as the younger brother showed a gratified smile, he heard his nephew say, I'm going to beg. ...

19. The ancients were actually quite optimistic. When they had a little leisure, they pondered how to live forever. As a modern person, there are only four words in my heart after a busy day: I don't want to live.

After a year of hard work, I finally got the position of manager. I still remember the manager seriously saying to me, "You can take this broken chair and I'll get you a new one."

2 1. A man backed up to the side of the road and saw an old man standing next to him. He said, "Grandpa, if you are in trouble, please let me know." Old man: "well, it's the other way around." There was a loud bang, and the old man said, "OK, we hit it."

22. I thought I was "invisible" and others couldn't find me. It's no use. People like me, like fireflies in the dark, are bright enough and outstanding enough.

23. A successful man can earn more money than his wife spends, and a successful woman can also find such a man.

24. My sister-in-law's lifelong event has never been decided. I was mentioned by my wife today and asked what she was looking for. Sister-in-law replied: don't be too fat, don't be too bored, have few parents, be bold enough, and have a changeable personality. No one will accept it. Next to my son, he interjected, "That's amazing for my aunt. I have a crush on the Monkey King!