How to write a composition for a sixth grade English picnic when it rains?

I went on a picnic with my parents last week. It was a sunny day. We leave at seven o'clock. We go to the park by car. This park is very big. I think there are 1000 people there. I felt hungry when we got there. We drink juice and eat delicious food. After eating, we played in the park. At five o'clock, we went home.

It was a happy day.

I went on a picnic with my parents last week. It was a sunny day and we started at seven o'clock. We drove to the park, which was very big. I think there are thousands of people in it. I felt hungry when we arrived at the park. We drank some juice and ate delicious food. After eating, we play in the park, and then we go home at five o'clock.

This is really a happy day.

(Chinese is also added, purely by hand. I hope it will be adopted. I wish the landlord progress every day. )