You can post some silly sentences that are suitable for posting.

1. If you have a girl you like, give her a lipstick. At least when she kisses someone else, you still have a sense of participation.

2. The original poster posted a comment in the space: Handsome people who play shuttlecock look good! result. . . God’s reply: Playing golf like this is like shoveling shit. . . .

3. Come hang out with me, I’ll eat your food and you’ll wash your dishes

4. Are people who are good at Tetris better at tidying up their rooms?

5. If you don’t smile, your luck will be worse if you smile

6. News reports say that a candidate missed the first college entrance examination because he overslept. I really feel sorry for him. In a person's life, there are many opportunities to sleep at home, but there may only be one opportunity to take the college entrance examination. Why not choose to sleep in the examination room?

7. When others get in the car to practice driving, the first words they say in a low voice are to turn on the engine, step on the clutch, put into gear, release the clutch, and start. When I get in the car to practice driving, the first thing I say is usually to shout loudly and get out of the way! Get out of the way! Get out of the way!

8. My daily state is quite regular. I look like I haven’t woken up in the morning, I look like I can’t wake up in the afternoon, I look like I’ve had chicken blood in the evening, and I look like I’ve taken a blood shot at midnight. My intestines are turning green with regret!

9. Only those who are good-looking can be called foodies, and those who are not good-looking can only be called losers!

10. Why should we work hard to make money? Because you are afraid of shaking hands with others, they are wearing Cartier and you are wearing a rubber band.

11. It’s almost twelve o’clock, and my wife is playing outside and she still hasn’t come back! ! I sent her a WeChat message. If you don't come back in twenty minutes, I will go to my buddy's house to stay. Two minutes later, my buddy sent me a WeChat message. There is someone at home tonight. Please don't come over to sleep. I feel like there is someone there. wrong. . .

12. What words did I say that made you sad and shed tears? Please tell me and I will say it again.

13. I heard that eating persimmons and crabs together can cause poisoning. I can’t believe it. I’ve already prepared the persimmons, but now I’m just wondering if the crabs are displeasing to me. Send me a few kilograms of crabs.

14 , two drunkards drove wildly in a car. A: Be careful! There is a sharp turn ahead. B: What? Aren't you driving?

15. Watching TV with my husband at night, the hero died for the heroine! So I asked my husband: My dear, will you die for me? The husband was silent for a while and said: I dare not say anything for fear that you will let me die. . .

16. Since I downloaded Douyin, I have lived like an emperor every day. Some people have performed songs, some have danced, some have performed talents. They have tried their best to make me happy. I have to review them one by one, and even It's busy.

17. Rely on other people’s mouth to understand me. Is your head used to increase your height?

18. Just now, my wife cried and said: Every time you go out, I am very worried. I quickly comforted her and said: Dear, don't worry about me, I will be back at any time. My wife said: I know, that's why I'm worried. Um, something doesn't seem right!

19. Being single is not difficult. What is difficult is dealing with those people who try their best to make you end your single life, such as your seven aunts and eight aunts!

20. Don’t envy others for their long legs and thin waist. Others don’t have your fat body and broad mind.

21. It was the first time I went to her home with my girlfriend to meet her parents! I was too embarrassed to eat too much for dinner. I got hungry at night, so I got up and went to the living room. The host looked around, but there was no one there! The host took a knife to the corner of the living room, picked up the sweet potatoes that were being fed to the pigs, peeled them, and ate them. After a while, a gust of cold wind came. The host looked back and saw his mother-in-law and girlfriend standing behind him, staring at me. He clearly heard his mother-in-law say: Don't choose, just him. People who can eat pigs and vegetables are really bad. So easy to find!

22. No one has everything smooth sailing all the time. In fact, you are not lonely. Look at the friends around you, aren’t they all hanging out together because of failure?

23. I saw someone online saying that the college entrance examination determines which city you will be in! It's just nonsense and misleading! Students should still work hard and perform well, after all, the internet speed in big cities is faster!

24. Single men are called single dogs, and single women are called dog ignored!

25. The three ugliest women in the eyes of women are the love rivals of good sisters, the ex-boyfriend’s current girlfriend, and the current boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend.

26. I’m about to fall in love, and I don’t know who I’m going to be with yet, so I’ll be happy for him first.

27. I wish all things were as simple as gaining weight

28. Looking back at the time when I was 5 points short of being admitted to Tsinghua University, I dare not look back on the past and talk too much. I was in tears. The admission score for Tsinghua University that year was 695, and I scored 69.

29. When I was having dinner with my son, he saw that I always eat fish heads, so he asked me: Do you particularly like fish heads? I put down my chopsticks and said to him: This is the example your grandma set for me. When we were young, our family was poor and we only ate fish during the Chinese New Year. Your grandma only ate fish heads and gave me all the fish meat. Although our living conditions have improved now, we must not forget our fine traditions! The son thought for a while and asked: Did you also eat fish heads with chopped pepper at that time?

30. Do you know the difference between you and Sha Seng? His name is Sha Seng and you are Sha Seng.

31. I had a fight with my boyfriend and cried: I want to follow you Divorce, my boyfriend yelled back with a louder voice: Just leave, no one is afraid of whom! Go get the marriage certificate first and then get divorced. It’s impossible to get divorced without a marriage certificate! After thinking about it for a while, it was indeed true, and then, crying, I followed my boyfriend to get the marriage certificate with my household registration book in my pocket.

32. Some people’s chat history is full of love words and warm words. My chat history is full of homework answers

33. You are right, but I don’t listen< /p>

34. I have made my bed a paradise, so when I get out of bed every day, I feel like I have descended to earth.

35. Don’t struggle with the past, because it has passed. Don’t struggle with the reality, because you still have to live.

36. Let’s talk about something serious, such as your weight! After a while of silence, the sister replied: This is too heavy, so let’s talk about something superficial, such as your IQ!

37. I have the goddess’s phone number, and I can know whether she wakes up every day. If you call her and no one answers, you haven't woken up yet; if you call her and she hangs up, you have woken up. Don't envy me too much.

38. Why are you nervous? The college entrance examination score only determines which city you will play League of Legends in the next few years. Calm down

39. I went home for dinner yesterday and wore a new skirt. I said shamelessly in front of my dad: Dad, look how beautiful your daughter is! As a result, my dad glanced at my mom sideways and said quietly: If your dad and I had married a beautiful wife more than 20 years ago, you would be even more beautiful now.

40. If a woman can use your photo as a mobile phone screen, let you browse her phone at any time, give you the passwords for WeChat and Alipay, and even give you the password for your bank card, then you Just take her money and call me, got it?

41. Question: Is there a book that when you mention it, you feel that it has changed you, even affected your outlook on life, and moved you deeply? Answer: "Five-year college entrance examination three-year simulation".

42. You can’t tell whether someone has money or not. When we pass each other on the street, you would never think that I am a super member

43. Teacher: The college entrance examination is coming soon. If you are in love early, don’t quarrel, so as not to affect your mood. If you are not in love yet, don’t confess, so as not to affect your mood!

44. Some people can make you feel distressed if they are serious, and some people can give you toothache if they are not polite.

45. Beauty and ugliness are determined by destiny, fatness and thinness are determined by heaven, and I live by this sentence.

46. In the physics self-study class, the students were all doing homework. The teacher said: If you have any questions, just ask me! A classmate walked over: Teacher, where did Newton get his hair permed?

47. When it was time to take the college entrance examination again, I secretly found my diploma and blew the dust on it. I suddenly had a lot of thoughts, what's the use? I still have to rely on my face to make a living. . .

48. In the past, writing letters was very slow and I could only love one person in my life. Now with the advanced Internet technology, I can love fifty people a day.

49. My parents owed a lot of money to others when they were young. , I tell people every time: We will repay you double the amount in the future. Later, they gave birth to me and named me: Double.

50. At the end of this semester, there is a subject that requires me to do ppt by myself. A buddy in the dormitory spent a few days to complete it! Finally, you have to explain it yourself! After he finished his talk, the teacher commented: He must have done it himself! We applauded! But the teacher also said: There is nothing worse than this in Baidu! Comments about some popular cartoons that are suitable for posting on Moments are a bit cute

1. I hope your IQ will always stop at the age of three. Happy Children’s Day!

2. When I have money, I will buy a bucket of instant noodles to eat. I will only eat the noodle soup and not drink it. I will pour it directly.

3. Promise me that if you like me, you will never be polite. .

4. TV shows: How many thousands will I give you to leave my daughter! The reality is: give us how many thousands, or leave my daughter.

5. If you can't find a partner, don't always blame others, think more about your own reasons. Maybe it's because you are too good and no one is worthy of you.

6. On Children’s Day, my son asked me and my dad angrily, today is Children’s Day, other children have new clothes to wear, why don’t I? Neither did dad! After saying that, I turned my head and looked at his grandfather sadly. My dad smiled awkwardly, and then started pretending to look at the scenery.

7. Every time you finish an argument with someone, you only know how to scold them when you are lying on the bed.

8. Not all women like money. For example, I am a kind-hearted girl who likes animals such as Land Rover, BMW, Bugatti Veyron, Jaguar and Tmall.

9. Friends, Children’s Day is here. I wish you: a childlike body, a childlike and worry-free mood, a group of friends who work together with a childlike heart, a lover who enjoys joys and sorrows, and a life that is extremely joyful. Happy Children’s Day! Don’t forget to greet your childhood friends.

10. Whether you admit it or not, I know there is always a child living in your heart: it doesn’t want to get up, doesn’t want to go to work, doesn’t want to be alone, doesn’t want to fail, doesn’t want to follow the rules, doesn’t want to be ordered around, doesn’t want to accept reality! So, no matter how old you are, I can still happily wish you today: Children's Day is here, I hope you work as much as you play, and live as carefree as a child!

11. The little girl doesn't want to hit the south wall, she just wants to run into the arms of the young master.

12. You = eat + sleep + miss me, pig = eat + sleep, equivalent substitution: you = pig + miss me, transpose: you - miss me = pig, conclusion: you If you don't miss me, you are a pig.

13. I heard that irregular rest is very harmful to the body, which scared me to stay up late every day and stay up regularly

14. Is there any beautiful woman who wants to have a chin pad? Please contact me. I have a double chin and plan to sell one

15. No matter you are happy or sad, always maintain a childlike innocence and live a simple life; no matter interesting or boring, always retain a childishness and have fun easily . Children's Day is here, and I wish you: Childlike innocence will always stay, childish fun will always be there, you will have no worries, and fun will always be with you!

16. We should play with the children once, no matter how big or small, and teach them They played our childhood favorites: wooden figures, airplane grids, throwing sandbags, and hide-and-seek, letting them know that there are so many more fun things than mobile phones and computers.

17. Wearing other people’s shoes and walking your own path not only prevents others from finding their shoes, but also leaves them with nowhere to go.

18. I always feel that my personality is not suitable for working and is only suitable for getting a salary.

19. The dry mom is not mellow at all!

20. What are the two small claws on the giraffe’s head? It’s a router, and the zoo’s WiFi relies on it!

21. Here comes my brother (I especially like this ridiculous sentence recently)

22. Although you are overage in terms of age, you have always maintained a childlike innocence and your intelligence is close to that of a child. Or catch up with the level of children. After strict screening, you have been successfully selected into the top ten left-behind children in the country. Congratulations!

23. After identification, you are over the height limit, weight overload, nutrition, and body shape. Cool, intelligent, over-age Liuchao children, please work and live happily with a childlike innocence, happy Children's Day!

24. I originally thought that my brother only had a fish pond, but I didn't expect that my brother was a sea king.

25. In today's society, it is no longer useful to cook raw rice into cooked rice. Even if it becomes popcorn, what should run will still run.

26. In fact, I was quite thin when I was a child, not fat at all, but later I was told not to eat leftovers, which ruined my life.

27. You can ask me for a red envelope on Children’s Day and I will give it to you. However, if you don’t give it to me on Father’s Day in a few days, don’t blame your father for falling out!

28. Every time I finish my homework very late, there will always be two villains in my mind. One says forget it, stop writing, and the other says okay, okay.

29. Don’t hold me up. I’m not drunk. The road ahead will move. Help me hold on to that road.

30. No one can live an easy life without compromise. Pain is always a hit.

31. Everyone says that making friends with beautiful people will make you look better. No wonder you find that your friends around you are getting better and better looking.

32. I remember the loud sound of books in the classroom, the teacher’s earnest words, the high spirits on the playground, and my childhood friends and classmates. Children's Day is here, and here's a belated blessing: Happy Children's Day!

33. Love is only interesting if the other person is you

34. Your body can’t survive Children’s Day, but your IQ can. Your weight can't pass Children's Day, but your height can~

35. Knock out the cake before eating it, wait until the gas has subsided before drinking comforting coke, divide the sandwich biscuits before soaking them in milk, Tell a joke to make the ice cube cry and then bite it.

36. Make a face to worry and scare it away; tie sorrow to the bull's-eye and throw it away; let despair get into the football and fly. Children’s Day is here, let’s see who is unhappy and use our special tricks!

37. Primary school students celebrate Valentine’s Day, middle school students celebrate Singles’ Day, and college students celebrate Children’s Day.

38. Investment is risky, but if you love me, high returns are risk-free.

39. Forgive me for dressing up, holding a pen in hand, furrowing my brows, and writing furiously, just to help the top students come to the bottom.

40. I am dizzy now. The doctor said I have hypoglycemia. Say some sweet words to me!

41. We have a date today. What clothes should we wear to look younger? Wear crotchless pants.

42. I like to hide and tuck, so I have nine dates and none of you know about it.

43. How do you feel when you enter the classroom and the frozen dumplings are cooked?

44. I deleted all the ugly ones in my long list and the only ones left are uglier ones

45. My wallet is like an onion, it makes me burst into tears every time I open it.

46. In the past few days, you can pay attention to the girls who are clamoring to celebrate Children's Day. Adults think about Children's Day. Psychologically speaking, this is a way to relieve the pressure of life and work and relieve loneliness. Subconsciously, they actually want someone to care about them, or even make children together. Don't laugh at me, but seize this opportunity.

47. Can you save your smoking money and buy me AD calcium to drink?

48. I thought life was like cats eating fish, dogs eating meat, and Ultraman fighting little monsters. The reality is that the rat plays tricks on the cat, the sheep plays tricks on the wolf, and the two bears play tricks on the bald strongman. QQ expansion manifesto is a collection of provocative and provocative sentences.

1. Don’t be polite to me. Sooner or later, you will be a person with a household registration.

2. Although you are my Yulemei, the trash can is your final destination.

3. I am so cute that I have become your sweet burden.

4. I miss you very much, but I won’t tell you. You are already so awesome, I can’t make you too proud.

5. After being alone for a long time, you have to separate the two pieces that are stuck together even to cook a dumpling.

6. The fortune teller said that my life is a perfect match for you, sir.

7. We are not familiar with each other, but you can use money to get close to me.

8. Fool, you are my forever. Fool, you are my forever.

9. After living for so long, I discovered that rock, paper, scissors turned out to be 520.

10. If you look back and smile, everything will start to fly. If you stand coolly, the stench will permeate the air.

11. Not only is talent overflowing, but also the fat around the waist.

12. If you look like that, don’t act coquettishly, as it can easily cause pregnancy reactions.

13. I hope your IQ will always stop at the age of three. Happy Children’s Day!

14. When I have money, I will buy a bucket of instant noodles to eat. I will only eat the noodle soup and not drink it. I will pour it directly.

15. I think I am good at coaxing boys to sleep. , they said they were going to bed after saying "Are you here?"

16. If you are well, I will have a spare tire until you grow old.

17. Please use your mobile phone to examine yourself as to why you always pull me to stay up late.

18. Promise me that if you like me, you will never be polite.

19. The person I love has a beautiful name, but the person who loves me is miserable.

20. What is love, just cheating, what is gentleness, just cheap.

21. Handsome guys like beautiful women. If you don’t like me, then you are not a handsome guy.

22. As long as I eat fast enough, my weight will never catch up with me.

23. In fact, I have always been an invisible rich man, but my money always likes to play hide and seek with me.

24. Don’t envy others who are more mature than you, because along the way, they have encountered more bad people than you.

25. When one person’s spare tire is a spare tire, when a hundred people’s spare tire is others’ spare tire, this is a quantitative change causing a qualitative change!

26. My partner is not aloof or willful, does not play online, is not obsessed with games, and I don’t know who he is. A funny one-sentence joke A super interesting hilarious joke

1. There is no shame in selling one’s soul and principles, but the shame is in not being able to sell it at a good price.

2. Man: Wife, are you hungry? Woman: Yeah. . A little bit, the man waved to the woman and said: Wife, come here! Let me show you something! The woman leaned her face in doubt. . The man suddenly yelled: Punch me! ! ! Wife, died. .

3. When the girl is tired, come be my wife.

4. I heard that the average Chinese person touches their mobile phone 150 times a day. I laughed at this nonsense. Obviously, I wake up once and pick it up before going to bed.

5. The boat of friendship is overturned. The big ship of love will sink as soon as it sinks, but the single boat will remain standing.

6. Stop saying you have loneliness and strong alcohol. In fact, you are a single dog.

7. At the bachelor party, everyone talked about the closest experience between themselves and being single. A buddy said that a girl once invited him to play word solitaire. She said: Let me start, I love you. He said: Damn it. This is the saddest story I've heard this year.

8. Although he is in the second grade of elementary school, he is often late for school. One day, the teacher asked him why he was late. He stayed for a long time without answering. When the teacher asked again, he burst into tears! Teacher: Why are you crying? Mingming: I prepared a lot of reasons for being late yesterday, but for some reason, I can’t even think of one today! Teacher: Get out. . .

9. I am separated from my girlfriend. Her birthday is coming soon. In order to surprise her, I plan to take a train there secretly. Then after more than ten hours of tossing, I got to the downstairs of her house. After knocking for a long time, no one answered the door. I called her and asked her where she was. She said: Honey, I am downstairs at your house.

10. What do you mean by a pig-like roommate? When I caught a cold, I asked him to bring me a White and Black, and she bought me a pack of Oreos.

11. If you like someone, you must confess it. If you don’t get rejected, you will really think that you are a heartthrob.

12. You have to celebrate Children’s Day again, and you have to do things that are not suitable for children.

13. My son is six years old. After picking him up from school, the teacher said: Your son was fighting with children at school. I asked him what his father’s phone number was. Your son said that he didn’t need to call my father, I could beat him myself

14. In Among a group of students, there is always a god-like single who can answer all love questions. Dogs would have died long ago by your age, so you should be a single turtle.

15. If Xiao Ming did not appear in high school mathematics, I would know that fool would not be admitted to high school.

16. I am really afraid that my dark circles will expose my national treasure. identity.

17. My mother said, don’t fall in love prematurely. All you are talking about now and in the future will be other people’s wives. When I heard this, I thought, oh, it’s other people’s wives. It’s exciting just thinking about it.

18. Don’t always smile at others, maybe you smile accidentally. It will become someone else’s emoticon.

19. Dare to face the bleak life, dare to face the dripping blood, but dare not face the face of the mother-in-law.

20. The boss has Xiaomi, and they are inseparable. After the boss's wife found out, she went to the office every day before get off work and waited for her boss to go home with her. Half a month later, the boss never went to see Xiaomi again. We all thought he was influenced by the boss's wife! After drinking once, the boss said something with red eyes: I can barely finish my homework, so how can I have the energy to do extracurricular homework?

21. Your Valentine’s Day is my Valentine’s Day.

22. Do you want a dog at home? The single one!

23. A good man sleeps with a woman over and over again, and sleeps with her for the rest of her life!!

24. I really need someone, opening and closing your mouth is work, asking me out is earning money Money, if I don’t work hard, will just slap me back and take me to the top of my life!

25. As long as you put your heart into it, there is no relationship that cannot be ruined.

26. An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, but a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. If the material is wrong, no matter how hard you try, it will be useless.

27. Time tells me that the age of being unreasonable has passed and it’s time to show off.

28. On Valentine’s Day, some people gave gold, some gave silver, and some gave flowers. I was afraid that no one would give them, so I bought all three of them myself: honeysuckle is so popular

29 , after get off work that day, I met an old man leading a little boy on the street. When passing a stall, the little boy pestered his uncle to buy him food: Grandpa, can you give me a dollar? When I grow up, I will give you all the money I make. The uncle teased him: How much will you give me? The little boy thought for a while and said: It doesn’t matter what I say, it depends on how much my wife will give me!

30. Don’t think that girls’ so-called weight loss is just lip service, they will actually post it on Weibo and Moments

31. In today’s society, raw rice is cooked. It is no longer useful. Even if it becomes popcorn, what should run will still run.

32. Congratulations on surviving another day and winning the lottery. Try another day

33. No one always has smooth sailing. In fact, you are not lonely. Look at the friends around you, aren’t they all hanging out together because of failure?

34. When they are passionately in love, couples often lament what virtues they have accumulated in their previous lives; after getting married, couples often wonder what sins they have committed in their previous lives.

35. You have to digest many things by yourself, so you get fatter as you grow older.

36. When you think it’s not possible, just cross the road and you will be a pedestrian.

37. Sometimes the show of affection means to see that this person is pampered by me. If you dare to snatch it, I'll cut your head off

On the 20th of March 38th, Internet Valentine's Day is coming, and I don't know if any objects will fall off.

39. A cute little fairy, single and waiting to be flirted with. If you like her, take her away.

40. When I was in elementary school, I was in a math class. The teacher was talking passionately. I couldn’t help it. I raised my hand and said: Teacher, I need to go to the toilet! The teacher said with a look of disgust: Go, go! I ran out quickly and walked to the back door. I found that my shoelaces were untied, so I squatted down to tie them. The teacher hurried over and said with a frightened look, "Don't pull here!"

41. If you like me, come and confess to me. You must experience the feeling of being rejected by a beautiful woman in your life.

42. Making money is a kind of ability, and spending money is a kind of ability. Technology, my ability is limited, but my skills are very high.

43. You must have a good walk with her while I take the car.

44. Suddenly I came to a realization: The torture I am getting from my relatives today is all due to the debt I owed by collecting the New Year's money back then.

45. You must work hard, otherwise you will have nothing but beauty.

46. New Year’s Plan: Live well. Last month’s plan: Survive. Plan now: Don’t die this year.

47. Being beautiful, if done well, is called confidence! Shamelessness, if done well, is called a strong psychological quality!