Tongue twister text

(Organized by Guo Rongqi, included in Complete Works of China Traditional Crosstalk)

A: (Dialect) Is that what you do?

B: We are talking about cross talk.

A: Oh, the photographer knows. Old storytellers say "Three Kingdoms" and "All Nations"; Say a song dynasty's "yangmen women", She Taijun, Lao, mu; Yang Paifeng, the girl who burns the fire; Journey to the West, the Monkey King, protecting the Tang Priest, and Monkey King Thrice Defeats the Skeleton Demon. Storyteller!

B: You don't understand. What you said is a very long book. We are talking about cross talk.

Oh, sheng! Blowing sheng's, good art, how can I understand it? I play a song "Send Agricultural Grain", a song "New Vendor" and various tunes.

You're not right. You are talking about national musical instruments, such as sheng, wind, flute and Xiao. We don't understand that kind of art, we are talking about cross talk, which is an art form that everyone likes. Well, in short, it's just funny.

A: Very funny. How happy? Is it Da Le or Xiaole? Is it Le Wen or Wu Le? Is it a little fun, or all at once? Are there any happy Xiangzi? Take it out and let me have a look.

B: There is no place for you to play.

A: You look unhappy. How can I be happy?

B: When we talk about coke, you will naturally be happy.

Oh, of course I'm happy. Is it good for me to have fun?

B: sure!

A: lice don't bite, fleas don't bite! There are bedbugs. Mosquitoes go to other rooms and don't bite me?

He treats me like a mosquito.

A: Hey, won't you say anything?

B: There are some small advantages. For example, you are a little flustered. ...

A: Why am I bored?

B: It seems that you are depressed.

A: Why am I bored?

You are unhappy.

Why am I unhappy?

B: You quarreled with someone else.

Who did I quarrel with?

B: You fought with me! Anyway, he doesn't understand, for example, you come out after dinner. ...

A: Did I eat?

I can't blame him for being so angry. He hasn't eaten yet. But if you don't eat, you have to say eat.

Oh, I didn't. I have to say yes.

B: I have to say it's very good food, including jiaozi and noodles.

A: Oh, I didn't eat. I said I did. He also said that he ate jiaozi and fished noodles.

Oh, yes!

A: am I worthy of my stomach?

B: This is really sincere. Whether you eat or not ... you need 20 yuan.

A: What? I'm short of twenty dollars. Who is it? You're going backwards! I have been standing here for less than ten minutes, and I am short of twenty yuan. You lent it to me? Is it your sponsor? Where is the account owner? You check, I'll ask him!

B: Don't worry yet. In fact, you are not short of money, pretending to be short of eight.

A: I'm full. Why don't you get a cashier to chase me?

Nobody asked you for it

Do I have to give it?

There is no such thing!

A: Do you think so?

Don't you understand?

I see. The money is gone.

Don't talk yet. ...

A: Is this the court?

Listen to me first.

Are you the plaintiff?

You're suing here. Listen to me first. You should pay other people's money, but you can't repay them ...

A: Not yet. Don't borrow it!

He knows better than I do. You, don't short other people's money, pretend to short other people's money. People are always chasing you, and you are annoyed when you have no money to pay back. Come out and come to me ...

You gave it back to me.

Me? I haven't heard of it. I don't mind you listening to cross talk with me. Our cross talk is very funny. You listened to our cross talk, haha, so happy that you forgot to be short of money. ...

Oh, now that you mention it, I see.

I see.

I don't want to be short of money I pretended to be short of money. People always ask me for it. I can't afford it. I'm bored and have nowhere to go. I came to your place and listened to your two cross talks, which made me laugh. I forgot that there was not enough money. ...

Oh, yes

A: I am out of the door, and the account owner is still waiting for me!

You can get a refund. Listening to a cross talk is still controlling your life.

A: I know you are talking about cross talk. I am telling you a joke. I'm so smart, I don't know if you're talking about cross talk.

Are you still smart?

A: I'm still smart? I am just smart.

I don't know.

A: I was smart when I was a child.

B: where is your cleverness?

A: When I was five or six years old, I played with children's toys, which was the kind of car that ran as soon as it was wound up. I just bought it, tore it down and put it there one by one. I understand everything.

Put it back?

A: you can't install it.

You call it smart? You call it demolition. To put it bluntly, you are a black sheep.

A: How to speak? When I was a child, I was still so smart when I grew up. No matter what, you can understand at a glance, and you can understand at a glance. My neighbors praised me. How clever the child is!

Didn't I call you garlic?

A: What is garlic?

B: Didn't you say it was called green onion?

A: The older you are, the smarter you are. I'm over sixty now, and I'm old. ...

You are an old onion.

A: Then you are dried ginger. What did you say?/Sorry? Who is the old onion?

B: What's your hurry? This is just a joke!

Oh, is this a joke?

B: you can tell jokes with me, but I can't tell jokes with you? I also tell you that in our industry, we pay attention to telling jokes, big jokes, small jokes, word meanings and riddles. Anyway, they are jokes and wisecracks. I tell you, tongue twisters are the best.

Tongue twister? I see.

B: He knows what he is talking about, and so does he.

Do you know what that means? I've heard of it. Tongue twister "Linglong Tower, Linglong Tower, the first floor of Linglong Tower." A high table must have legs ...

How fresh. No legs. That's a panel. That's a tongue twister sung by Xihe Drum.

Yes, I've heard of it.

B: That's singing. We mean, speaking is harder than singing.

A: Is it difficult? number

You always have nothing to do. It seems easier to do than to do. You can't learn if I tell one.

You name one. If I can't learn, I will worship you as an old master.

All right, listen.

A: I don't mind. Don't look down on people ... (to himself)

B: Listen to me: "Beat (Yin Jie) an old man with a white beard from the south with a cane in his hand."

A: Say it!

B: That's all.

What did you say?/Sorry?

B: He didn't hear. I'm here to say that you can still hear you nagging there. Listen this time: "An old man with a white beard came to the south with a white cane in his hand."

A: Say it!

B: That's it!

A: That's it. An old man is leaning on a crutch. What do you think it can do? What's new here? What's the point of walking with crutches when you are old?

B: We are talking about tongue twisters, regardless of his age.

All right, listen. Where are you from?

B: he didn't hear you clearly. Danan south

It is said that an old man with a white beard comes from the south, an old man with a white beard ... is that old man with a white beard over eighty years old?

Do you care how old he is?

I think this means that the old man with white beard is over 80 years old. If he has a black beard, isn't he over 50 years old?

B: No need to explain.

A: A white beard crutch came from the south, leaning on a thin white old man. Do you have any here?

B: Huh? Can you stand the old man leaning on crutches?

Isn't that what you said?

B: I'm talking about an old man on crutches, and you're talking about an old man on crutches.

A: Oh, I gave it backwards. Another old man with a white beard came from the south with a cream popsicle in his hand.

What cream popsicle? Cream popsicle! Where is the fruit?

A: Three points for fruit and five points for cream. Eat a cream one.

B: I won't eat anything. Don't! Put your hands on the white stick.

A: I rely on crutches, not popsicles. An old man with a white beard came to the south, holding his stick and holding his hand ... The old man jumped ... and jumped three times.

B: The old man has eaten too much and can't eat any more! It's okay. What does he dance?

The old man practices Tai Ji Chuan. An old man with a white beard came to the south. The old man with white beard jumped up with a stick. The old man jumped up with a stick. The old man jumped up with a stick. The old man jumped up and gave you a stick.

I angered him. Give me a stick?

A: The old man jumped desperately, but there was no hurry! Give you a stick!

B: Say you can't! It sounds easy, but it's hard to say. If anything, I really admire you as a teacher.

A: That's what you said. Listen: "An old man with a white beard came from the south with a white cane in his hand." Come on, take your little apprentice.

B: You are blindfolded. If I say one more word, you won't know. Listen! "Throwing a straw hat over the wall, I don't know if the straw hat doesn't cover the old man, and I don't know if the old man doesn't cover the straw hat." You said this.

Where did he get so many old people? Listen: throw the old man out of the wall ...

B: What, throw the old man? That won't kill the old man.

What are you throwing?

B: Throw the straw hat.

A: Still cutting the wall. How to throw a wall through a wall? Throw bricks at the wall. ...

B: Good! I didn't throw the old man to death, but I fired him with a brick. Throw a straw hat into the wall.

Throw a straw hat over the wall. Straw hats do not wear old people, and old people do not wear straw hats.

B: Why not?

A: Is it like wearing a fur coat and a straw hat? What month is it now? It's freezing. Just wear a fur hat.

I don't know. He always has something to say. Say a fur hat and you won't be coy.

Must you wear a straw hat? You listen; Throwing a straw hat over the wall, the straw hat was thrown over. When the old man saw the straw hat coming, he stepped back and leaned forward. His arms are shaking fast and his neck is stiff, Ben! The straw hat is on.

B: You're not wearing a straw hat. You're practicing acrobatics.

A: By the way, this is the old man of the Acrobatic Troupe, otherwise it would be so hard. Come on, you can say something else.

B: It's easier to see things than to do them. I can't tell, can I? Listen to this again; "Outside the south gate, there is a noodle restaurant facing south. There is a blue cotton curtain hanging on the noodle restaurant. I took off the blue cotton curtain and took a look. The noodle restaurant still faces south. I hung up the blue cotton curtain and looked at it. The noodle restaurant still faces south. " Tell me more about this.

All right, listen to me! There is a sidewalk facing south outside the south gate ... there is a sidewalk facing south outside the south gate. Your art is worthless.

B: why is it worthless?

A: Let me ask you, what is the direction of Nanmenwai Street?

B: North and South Street!

Yes, North and South Street. How can this noodle restaurant face south? Built in the middle of the road? How to get there by car? Tear it down.

B: It's easy. He can't say that he is finding fault. The place outside the south gate is big, just the street outside the south gate. I said turn west outside the south gate and go to Cai Qiaozi's noodle restaurant.

A: Yes, you made it very clear. Cai Qiaozi turned west. Isn't there a small department store facing west? Next to the department store is the tofu shop, next to the pub, there is a fresh food stall at the entrance of the pub, and there is a zipper repairer across the street. Next to the zipper repair is the noodle restaurant.

Yes, I found it.

A: Cai Qiaozi's small department store outside the south gate, the tofu shop next to the department store, the pub next to the tofu shop, the fresh food stand in front of the pub, the zipper across the street and the noodle restaurant next to it. ...

B: Listen, is this chaos?

A: It's a mess. I almost turned around. What should I do?

B: Don't add so many odds and ends. It's just outside the south gate.

Ok, it's just outside the south gate. There is a sidewalk facing south outside the south gate ... single? Sandwich? Cotton curtains?

B: Cotton.

A: Outside the south gate, there is a noodle restaurant facing south. Blue … cotton … blue, curtains and blue cotton are hung on the noodle restaurant. It's ugly to hang blue. Hang a red one!

B: Which store hangs big red curtains? Only the blue one.

A: There is a sidewalk facing south outside the front door. Do you think it is difficult to hang a blue cotton curtain and take off the face of the south gate?

B: south gate face? It's hard enough. Take off the cotton curtains.

A: Oh, it's taking off the curtains, not the frontispiece. There is a south-facing pavement outside the south gate, with blue cotton curtains hanging and carrying them ... blue cotton curtains hanging and hanging. Do you always pick it for cooking? It's not broken You ruined everything.

Isn't that what you said?

A: Hang up the blue cotton curtains and have a look. The noodle restaurant still faces south. Choose a lower store ... no, take off the cotton curtains and have a look. There are three bags of noodles in the noodle restaurant, which costs eight yuan. It's really hard for the owner to sigh. See the deal is over.

He screwed up the deal. Let's go Stop worrying and listen to me again. "Flat bowls are branded with flat bowls, flat bowls and flat bowls."

A: How troublesome it is to make pancakes. I can't finish eating the steamed bread in the steamer.

B: You don't care what you eat, you say it!

A: Say a basin of leather noodles. ...

B: What do you mean by a pot of skin? A flat basin.

A: Say a bowl of flat noodles and bake a bowl of flat cake ... This thing of yours is meaningless.

B: Here we go again. What doesn't make sense?

A: You see, if you make a bowl of noodles, you can't even bake a half bowl, let alone a bowl. How can it be flat?

B: You don't care how much it is. I told you to say tongue twister.

All right, suit yourself. It is said that a flat pot is branded with a flat cake, and the cake, pot, cake, flat, flat, pot … pot cake, pancake … takes a big top.

B: Big pancakes? Well, the acrobat is here again.

A: Tell me something else.

B: I can't say anything else. Last year1February, I bought some tofu and put it in the yard. It slipped my mind. When I saw it the next day, it was frozen. I took this frozen tofu and said a tongue twister: "You can stew my frozen tofu, but you can't stew my frozen tofu. Just stew my frozen tofu, stew, stew, stew! "

A: Two pieces of tofu. Look at this trouble. You want to stew my frozen tofu. Come and stew my frozen tofu. You can't stew it. You, you can't. Don't touch my tofu.

Who touched your tofu?

A: You can stew my frozen tofu to stew my frozen tofu. You can't stew my frozen tofu, I can't stew my frozen tofu, you can't stew my frozen tofu, you can't stew, I stew, you stew, I stew, these two pieces of tofu are broken.

Who told you to do this?

Answer: You can stew my frozen tofu to stew my frozen tofu, but you can't stew my frozen tofu ... Again, you can't stew my tofu, you don't touch my tofu, you pretend to stew my frozen tofu, you can't stew, I stew my frozen tofu, you can't stew, I stew, I stew, you can't stew, stew, stew tofu, you have to.

B: I changed to cooking tofu again.

A: Tell me something else.

B: I don't know. Listen to it again. There is a pole carrying water and a double stool.

This is a stool for two people.

Yes, it's long. Say a tongue twister with these two things: "The shoulder pole is long, the bench is wide, the shoulder pole is not as wide as the bench, the bench is not as long as the shoulder pole, and the shoulder pole is tied to the bench. The bench does not allow the pole to be tied to the bench, and the pole must be tied to the bench. "

Do you wear a tie? Just sit for a while when you are full of food and drink. This pole is very long. Needless to say, everyone knows that the bench is of course wide! Say Ping Chang ... What is Ping? It is round.

B: Didn't you say it yourself?

A: The pole is long and the bench is wide, but the pole is not as wide as the bench. The pole is tied, tied to the pole. The pole does not let the pole be tied to the pole, but the pole must be tied to the pole.

B: Why are they all poles? Where is the bench?

A: The bench has been removed for the meeting.

B: Step back.

A: Where did the bench move?

Stop yelling!

Answer: The pole is long, the bench is wide, and the bench is not as long as the pole. The pole is tied ... if it's a tie, it's a tie. Don't gossip, table one shows good Hanwu Jiro. ...

B: OK, now it's changed to Shandong Express. You, don't suffer, I'll give you a good face and you can go!

What is wrong with me? I can't leave. I didn't say anything, okay?

B: That's a lie. There you go again! "Eat grapes without spitting grape skins, and spit grape skins without eating grapes."

Oh, my God, is this a tongue twister? Children in my neighborhood will say the same thing.

Don't worry about your neighbor's children, just let them have a try.

Have you ever heard of eating flat head? ...

B: Why do you want a crew cut and a back?

Speaking of eating my back ...

What do you eat?

Didn't you say that?

B: Eat grapes.

A: Eat grapes? Are there any grapes this month?

B: you don't care if it is here or not.

Grapes are precious, but apples are cheap. Come and eat two Jin of apples!

What are these apples for? Grapes.

Oh, just grapes. Say it again.

B: "Eat grapes without spitting grape skin, and don't eat grapes without spitting grape skin."

A: Oh, all right. Talking about eating pimps ... will you bite pimps? It is said that eating grapes does not spit grape skins, and eating grapes does not have to be nuts.

Where did you buy the nuts? Grape skin.

A: Please come again.

Listen carefully. How many times have I said so neatly: "Eat grapes without spitting grape skin, and don't eat grapes without spitting grape skin."

I see the point. I have to think about it. Eat this grape. Don't spit it out. Leave it in the gills. ……

It's a monkey with a beard on its face.

A: Eat the next one, bah! This skin has been spit out. This is one sentence after another: "Don't spit out the skin when eating grapes, but spit out the skin when eating grapes." All right, let's get started. With such a tense mouth, he said, "If you eat grapes, you don't spit grape skins, and if you don't eat grapes, you spit grape skins." Right? "Eat grapes without spitting grape skins, and spit grape skins without eating grapes."

B: All right!

A: It's easy to say: "Eat grapes without spitting skin, and don't eat grapes without spitting skin."

It will never end. I'll tell you one more hard word and embarrass you!

Scared me silly? I'm a paraplegic? Take out your closet, you have me stumped.

Ok, listen to this: "Call a Lama from the south ..."

What is a Lama?

B: This is the monk outside the mouth, Lama.

Oh, a Lama.

B: I have five pounds of kelp in my hand.

A: What is a flounder?

B: sole fish.

Why don't you say sole fish?

Don't beat around the bush when you say sole.

A: Is the flounder delicious?

Do you care if it's delicious?

Hairtail is delicious. We want five Jin of hairtail.

There are no fish, only sole fish. "Hit a Lama in front, with a five-catty-heavy Kun eye in his hand, and hit a mute in the north ..."

A: dumb? The one who can't talk, ah ... ah ...

B: no. A mute came from the north with a horn pinned to his waist. Lama, shepherd, mute, trumpet, say a tongue twister.

A: Whatever you say.

B: "There's a Lama from the south, with five catties of kunmu in his hand. A mute came from the north with a horn pinned to his waist. Lamas in the south want to exchange their Kun eyes for the dumb voices of other speakers in the north. Dumb people don't want to trade their horns for Lama's eyes, but Lama wants to trade for other speakers' dummies. The Lama pointed a gun at the other corner and hit the dumb corner. The mute took off his horn and gave it to the Lama. I didn't know that the Lama of Tiraga stage shot at the dumb speaker, and I didn't know that the dumb speaker hit the Lama of Tiraga stage with a trumpet. Lama stewed flounder. The mute honked his horn. "

A: See you tomorrow!

B: Hey, don't go!

Why is it so long?

B: It's all like eating grapes.

A: Nothing! Am I scared? Listen, where ... where are you from?

I'm scared silly. I don't know where I come from. From the south.

A: There's a Lama in front with seven or eight pounds of eyes. ...

B: What are seven or eight pounds for? Five catties!

Is five catties enough to eat?

B: You don't care if he has enough to eat!

What's your hurry? No more, no less, only five kilograms.

B: Only five Jin.

A: OK, it depends on you. There is a Lama from the south, pulling a five-pound mute. ...

B: Huh?

Do you want Tira to hold it and mute it? Dumb people come from the north. Come to the south and let a Lama carry five catties of soles. Is that clear? Play dumb in the north, don't be on your waist-beep, look up for the dumb from the south ... no, change this horn for the dumb, and the dumb won't change it ...

B: Why?

A: He didn't weigh five catties in China.

Oh, did that mute see it?

I can see that. Dumb doesn't want to change ... Dumb doesn't want to change ... Look, forget it!

B: What shall we do?

Let's take the lead. A Lama comes from the south with five-catty eyes in his hand, and a mute comes from the north with a horn pinned to his waist. The Lama who came to lift Kun's eyes wants to exchange Kun's eyes for a mute one-beep. The mute didn't want to change, so the Lama raised his eyes and slapped the mute with the other corner. The mute hit the Lama with his horn ... an eye, a Lama ... a horn.

B: Well, it's a fight.

A: The Lama has a big temper and the mute is stubborn. Why don't you give it to him? No need to change the mute and speaker. Do you know what Lama means?

B: I don't know!

A: Lama ... Lama ... you forgot again.

Hey, look at this!

Do you always pick things up?

I don't know. He always blames me. Well, I won't say it.

Let's take the lead. Hit a Lama from the south, lift a five-catty eye, hit a mute from the north, and pin a horn on his waist. When you come to the south, the Lama will exchange Kun's eyes for the dumb horn. Dumb people don't want to change, and dumb people don't want to change for him. ...

B: Here we go again.

A: Dumb people don't want to change. The Lama has a bad temper and raises his eyes to look at the mute "DuDu". The dumb can say ...

B: Huh? The mute spoke.

Can the dumb talk? The mute didn't say what he meant, just said to himself, I won't change you, will I do it? Dumb, dumb ... Hey, you forgot again!

Oh, oh!

Let's start over. A Lama came from the south, holding a five-Jin-weight Kun eye in his hand, and a mute came from the north, with a horn pinned to his waist. A Lama came from the south and wanted to exchange Kun's eyes for the dumb speaker, but the dumb didn't want to change, and the dumb didn't want to change either. The Lama was in a hurry. Lama's temper is too grumpy. The Lama flicked his eyes at the dumb man, but the dumb man didn't say, didn't say that he couldn't accept it in his heart, and said in his heart, if I don't change, will you hit me? The dumb stood there playing the trumpet, and the trumpet was stewing there ... eat, eat, eat grapes, don't spit out the skin, don't eat grapes. ...

B: Here we go again!

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