Tell me about it.

1. On a hot summer day, I am happy to think of you, happy to see you, happy to be near you, and eager to bite you when I hold you in my hand. That feeling is really cool! I love you, Popsicle!

2. Honey, I'm sorry. Since we kissed romantically last night, you licked half of the bean sprouts in my mouth. I remember to brush my teeth after dinner!

3. Special news: In the mobile phone endurance contest, the switch will automatically start the timer from the moment, and continue to report the weather forecast. The user who keeps the phone on for the longest time will get free talk time minutes.

Dear user, because you confirmed this message, April Fool's Day bacteria were infected. Please look at your palm carefully. If there are black spots, it means that you have been infected by bacteria, and you need to wash them with gasoline to kill them. Remember, remember!

The wind lifts your long hair, and you look more chic! The waves beat your feet, and you look more innocent! You face the morning glow in the east, just like a spray! It's hard to see that you are a fool if you are not an acquaintance!

6. If it is a mistake to be beautiful, then I am all wet; If being smart is a crime, I have committed a heinous crime. It's really hard to be a man! But you'll be fine. You are right and innocent. I envy you!

7. the appearance of 7.Xi stone, sinking fish and falling geese, closing the moon and feeling ashamed of flowers; Yang Guifei, if she just turned her head and smiled, there were a hundred spells, and the powder and paint of six palaces disappeared without a trace; Although you are not as good as them, you can still scare away thieves as long as you give them the glad eye.

8. Are you lonely? If that's the case, you can buy a rope and stick to tie the rope to the stick, and swing the stick on the roof when it's windy. When people ask you what you are doing, you can say: I am convulsing.

I saw you in the street. You are with someone. I saw at a glance that he was not a good man. He's been patting your ass behind you. I said to him angrily, stop the donkey driver in front!

10. One of the most typical jokes on April Fool's Day: Leave your wallet tied with a thin thread in the street and pull that thread in the dark. Once someone finds a wallet, suddenly drag it away!

1 1. People are really tired when they are alive! Standing and thinking about sleeping, I have to queue up when I get on the bus. Secret love is really painful, eating is tasteless, drinking is easy to get drunk, work is particularly tired, robbery is not enough, I have to pay taxes when I earn money, and I have to pay for texting silly pigs.

12. I will pay for your happiness; I will make up for your confusion; I will satisfy your greed; I will give in to your willfulness; I love you the most; I am a professional pig farmer!

13. Part I: The wind is blowing and the rain is falling. I am waiting for your call back. Bottom line: live for you, die for you, and wait for you all your life. Horizontal batch: sent to the wrong person.

14. You were practicing in a mental hospital, and suddenly a psycho came after you with a kitchen knife. You turned and ran until you reached a dead end, thinking it was over. The patient said, here's the knife. It's your turn to chase me. Happy April Fool's Day!

15. I sent you this message at a cost of ten cents to tell you that I am not a penniless person. For example, this dime message is my birthday present to you. Don't forget to invite me to dinner tonight. Happy April Fool's Day!

16. Forward this message twice and you will get lucky; Forward it, you will go to the official; Forward it, and you will have good luck; Forward it, and it cost yuan!

17. There is a tacit understanding called tacit understanding, a feeling called wonderful, a yearning called longing, and an idiot who will finish reading the message!

18. You are happy because I am happy, I am happy because you are happy, I am sad because you are thin, I am thin because you are sick, I laugh because you are strong, and I am rich because I sold you-pig!

19. I almost forgot what day it is today. If I hadn't thought of you, I wouldn't have noticed. Day after day, today is your good day. You must not forget that today is your holiday. Happy April Fool's Day!

20. If you must compare with a pig, I think you are different from it in at least two aspects: First, you can eat more than it. Second, it is smarter than you.

2 1. The sun is shining, the breeze is blowing gently, the willows are shaking their branches enthusiastically, the peach blossoms are emitting charming fragrance, and the stream is singing cheerful songs. What I want to say is … Work hard, the boss is coming!

22. One summer night, you got into my mosquito net lightly, touched my arm and kissed my face. You tickle me all over. Turn on the light, take your long legs, damn mosquitoes! I told you to go to hell!

I know you like me, but I really don't like you. Although you have my flesh and blood in your stomach, please stop harassing me, or I will be rude to you, you dead mosquito!

24. It's hard to forget the feeling of holding your hand, kissing you and your unique taste. Let me smoke your cigarette again.

25. I want to tell you something. Don't tell anyone. I heard that people in the city beat dogs recently. I wonder if your master has hit you recently? Lao shifu misses you!

26. Attention, I will give you a summer air-conditioning power-saving strategy. My many years of experience only friends tell you: the first step is to find the power supply of air conditioning; Step 2, unplug the power supply; The third step is to check the effect. Look, the meter is slow.

27. Your sexy little back really makes me daydream ... round and smooth. I really want to move on ... and take you as my own, but I can't! Delicious roast duck, I can't move chopsticks until all the guests are here!

28. Fireflies glow in the dark, stand out from the crowd, stand out from the crowd, horses are called the best among donkeys, pigs are called handsome in pigsty, and you are called ... handsome when standing with orangutans!

29. The flowers in spring are very bright, which is your bright smile; The summer sun is very hot, that is your passion; Autumn is fruitful, that is your harvest; The winter wind is blowing, Xiaoqingwa, you are going to hibernate!

30. I heard that you were wearing a broken sack and walking at a strange pace that day; I was caught as a thief and brought you a dog tag?

3 1. What a strange thing? Just dialed your mobile phone, prompting to reply: the other party is streaking. I'm afraid I heard wrong! Dial again At this time, the prompt reply: Sorry, the dialed user has run out of the earth.

32. I have made a lot of preparations for you. I made a special trip to the supermarket to buy a lot of things you need. Now, everything is ready. Your duck can finally cook.

33. Do you really want to know what I like about you? But I really dare not say it, and I have to say it. I just want you to stay away from me.

34. Head radish, body like watermelon, face like banana, sour like hawthorn. As it grows, it is all sediment. Guess who it is. -You're such a fool.

35. I really miss you. I really want to see you and see you like this, but I really don't want to ... My heart is in a mess-every time I see you, my heart is pounding, and the results of the mental hospital examination come out. You are such an idiot!

36. I really wish I could be with you. Did you sleep well? Are you full? Will it be cold at night? I know you can't take care of yourself. Every time I walk away, you jump out of the pigsty!

37. I've always wanted to say three words to you, but you know its weight. I'm afraid that once we say it, we won't even have friends. But I can't control my feelings and summon up courage to say to you: you are a pig.

38. The five internal organs belong to five elements, the liver belongs to wood, the heart belongs to fire, the lung belongs to gold, the kidney belongs to water, and the spleen belongs to soil. I did the math for you. It turns out that your five elements are short of fire and gold. No wonder you haven't invited me to dinner for so long. So you are heartless!

39. Bathed in the breeze, you are chic and relaxed; Bathed in the sun, you are in good shape; Your smell is so strong that you need to control your chickens, ducks and fish. You are a hero in the kitchen! I can't live without you, shallot!

40. Learning Chinese means sending text messages; Learning mathematics is to count money; Learning English means pretending to be a foreign country; Studying physics is to build an atomic bomb; Learning art means that you can draw like you without looking at the photos of your second brother!

4 1. The moonlight is really beautiful tonight. I really want to walk down the street with you. I really like the feeling of walking side by side with you ... but I'm afraid others will look at me differently. After all, it's easy to be noticed when I take the lead in the street at night!

Recently, mice love rice, which reminds me of you involuntarily. Your skinny skin and fragile little body really scared me: damn bugs! Don't hurt my rice again!

43. I miss you so much. When can I see you? You miss me so much that I can't sleep at night, tossing and turning. Should I repay the money I borrowed?

44. In my eyes, you have always been carefree, eating so sweetly and sleeping so comfortably. Sometimes I feel: I really envy your puppy life!

45. You are very creative. It is your courage to live. Ugliness is not your intention. God lost his temper and survived. Without you, who will set off the beauty of the world!

46. You and I walked quietly on the path in our hometown. You bowed your head shyly and said nothing. When the villagers saw me, they all said: Good boy, dressed neatly and beautifully, but it's a pity to come out to release pigs at such a young age!

47. Come down when you feel good about yourself, come down when you feel humorous, come down when you feel attractive, and come down when you feel smart. Well, it's shameless.

48. Late at night, I was walking alone in the alley, and suddenly I felt so lonely, lonely and scared. I miss you eagerly, miss you and look forward to you. If only you were by my side, I really need you-flashlight!

49. I remember I really made up my mind and turned to leave. Behind me came your helpless crying and heartbreaking crying. Suddenly I feel how much I need you. I turned around and hugged you tightly: I really don't want to sell this pig!

I wish I could go to see the sea with you, but I didn't go; I wish I could go hiking with you, but I didn't go because I was at a loss; I wish I could hang out with you, but I met a policeman and he said, "Don't take dogs shopping!" "

5 1. I don't know when to clean up those ugly and stupid people! Hurry up and pack up and go out to avoid it. You don't have to tell others that I told you, and you don't have to thank me!

52. Yesterday someone called you a pig behind your back. I fought with him for you. Damn it, you can't say who he is just because he looks like his parents, can you?

I have known you for so long, and you have always cared about me. I really don't know how to repay you. I will pull weeds for you in my next life!

54. In my eyes, you always look carefree, you always eat with relish, you always sleep soundly ... I really envy you, alas! Sometimes I think it's good to be a pig like you!

55. You are really not smart enough, and your nose is like an old oil slick; Eyes like red pepper; Eyebrows are like two knives; Walk on both sides; It seems that the crab fainted.

56. Someone saw you yesterday. You are still so charming, walking slowly in a plaid vest, looking detached and comfortable. It is really cute. I don't know how you beat rabbits in those years.

57. Bajie Huazhai is gone forever. One day, a man who looks like Bajie came from a distance. Wukong said it might be a demon, and Tang Priest said, Try sending a text message, or you will quit!

58. Summer weekend, hot summer, scorching sun, I miss you very much. I feel hot and dry when I think of you. I especially want to meet you when it is hot and dry. As soon as I saw you, I couldn't wait to jump into your arms … my dear swimming pool!

Please touch your little red face first, and then touch your little belly! All right! This lecture on pig raising knowledge is over. See you tomorrow!

Since I first met you, I have been deeply attracted by you. Because of your behavior, I can't help looking at you. Now I can't hold it. I want to tell you: you are simply a puppy that can walk on two legs.

6 1. Give the toilet a good wipe. The toilet thanked me and asked me if I had any wishes to help me realize. I said, I hope you can take good care of this pig that is showing me a text message! I hope he is happy every time he poops!

62. You are the eighth weirdo in Jiangnan. You are always outside when you don't go home. You don't drink or eat vegetables. You don't talk about love, you don't have sex. You often have sex without a condom. You often treat a young lady as a quilt, and you are lazy without giving money. People often kick you.

I sent you home the day before yesterday and walked to a luxurious building. You looked at me affectionately and said, go home. I looked at your back for a long time and saw four words written on it: mental hospital.

64. I just heard that you were trafficked, which really scared me. Although you grew up with dementia, it is harmless to society. Who is so bold as to dare to sell you? I'm worried about him. It's strange to sell it.

65. The night is beautiful tonight. I really want to share it with you and enjoy it with you ... but I'm afraid others will look at us differently. After all, it's hard to take a stupid pig out at night without attracting attention!

66. The wild boar was killed immediately. I only heard pleading with my master: It doesn't matter if I am killed, just please don't let my wife see it, don't make her sad, don't disturb her, just let it play with her mobile phone there.

67. Four little pigs were sitting on the ground, and suddenly one was missing. Piggy is there, looking at a short message.

68. The organization decided to reward you for your outstanding performance and great contribution. You sit at the dining table with a medal around your neck and are indifferent to the sumptuous banquet. Just when I was wondering, I saw you flying higher and higher and pouncing on something. Take a closer look: a bone.

I've been wanting to see you, but I can't because I'm busy. I finally have time today. That's why I came to see you in the kennel.

70. You know, today the toad confessed to the swan, and the swan said, who is like you might as well die! Toad is not convinced: the pig head next door is still alive and well! The pig said gloomily, I was just reading the text message. Why did I get shot again?

7 1. There are pigs at home, and those born in the mountains are called wild boars. Those who see this message are all stupid pigs. If the joke is a stupid pig, the angry pig, the dead pig who ignores me, and even the pig who doesn't reply is not as good as it is.

Recently, mice love rice, which reminds me of you. You are tender and boneless, and your fragile little body really makes me nervous: Damn Mi Chong! Don't hurt my rice!

Attention, everyone, quiz: the contestants are elephants, pigs and you. The results of the competition have come out: first, elephants are better than pigs, and you are better than elephants. The final ranking is: you are like a pig. Ok, tell me!

74. After having you, I believe in fate; After having you, I believe that fate is doomed; Maybe all this is pulling you and me in the dark. I really want to say angrily: how much I owe you in my last life!

75. Say you are a phoenix, I say you are a crow; You say you are a rose, and I say you are? ] toad; You said you were a lively deer, and I said you were a naughty pig!

76. You are so cute-poor and unloved; You look so good-it's really not your fault that you look like this; You are a genius-a born fool; You are very emotional-stingy and neurotic.

77. In the morning, you approached my bed gently and kissed my face affectionately. Your deep eyes have been staring at me, and I really can't refuse you-be a good dog and take you for a walk.

78. I remember that night, you dreamed that you had a pair of wings that you dreamed of flying. I flapped my wings gently, then came to you gently-then kicked you and said, Stop dreaming, idiot!

Thank you for watching flowers with me in spring, sunsets with me in summer, fallen leaves with me in autumn and snow with me in winter. Without you, no matter how beautiful the scenery is, I really thank you … glasses!

80. A kind of love and a kind of infatuation make up my passionate love for you; Every bit of life is trivial, and I will rely on you closely; No matter the wind and rain, I will be fearless with you all my life. Really need you, money!

8 1. What are you talking about? You are really different! Give some sunshine and you will be brilliant; Give some happiness and you will be romantic; If you like it, you fart; Give some praise and you will praise it; Give a little praise and you'll be crazy.

82. Do you know? We have known each other for a long time. You followed me closely, put your face on me, sniffed me with your nose and bit me gently with your mouth ... At that time, my name was Lv Dongbin.

83. You have high blood pressure, high blood lipid and low position. No speech at the conference, no speech at the meeting, prostatitis. The political achievements are not outstanding, the performance is not outstanding, and the lumbar disc is outstanding.

84. Is your Mandarin standard? Please repeat after me: look at it, look at it, forget it, look at it. All right, dog, stop barking and eat bones, okay? !

85. The monotonous and busy life day after day sometimes makes people forget their existence. At this time, you can easily find yourself by tapping the hammer with your thumb.

86. I really like your big ears, wide face, thick lips and black eyes. Your singing is great, and the lyrics are always in the same tune-hum-hum. You are my pet pig!

87. When you were born, you had a whirlpool, your face was black and your fingers were invisible, two leaves covered your face, and the rivers and lakes flew over the walls, making chickens fly and dogs bark, making the beauty dumbfounded. I think I am the leader of the Beggars' Sect, but I actually live in a mental hospital.

88. One day, a mantis showed off to an ant and said, Look how handsome I am with two knives. The ant was about to speak when a chicken came and ate the mantis in one bite. The ant saw it, shook his head and said, I wonder if it is hitting now? How dare you run around the street with a knife?

89. If missing is a wisp of smoke, let the wind blow to you and let you know how much I miss you. If you are worried about a drop of rain, let the heavy rain fall on your head and let you know how much I miss you; Have you caught a cold？

90. It's raining lightly in the sky, which seems to laugh at my delusion. Why are you so selfish and cruel that I miss you? Who knows, I only see pig heads and idiots staring at this poem on their mobile phones.

9 1. Without the company of flowers, spring will be lonely; If there were no changes in the four seasons, life would be dull; If I hadn't stopped you, you would have been raw; If you weren't beautiful, I would be a vegetarian! Happy holidays, piggy!

92. Do you know? I'm anxious to find you everywhere. I have amazing good news to tell you: your mother asked me to save several hundred million for you, and I'll bring it to you myself! I came to you with money that day and saw you sleeping soundly. I really don't have the heart to wake you up! A litter of pigs is your most beautiful! Ha! Happy holidays, piggy!

93. Confucius said: I want to be a fool, be a fool. So I asked Confucius, does this sentence mean that I want to fool people? Confucius said: no, do you want to know what it means? Idiot! I am lying to you. How did Confucius know me? Confucius can't speak English! Haha, happy April Fool's Day!

94. Ask yourself a thousand times, why do you always miss you recently? When will you invite me to dinner?

95. There are four words I want to say to you when the New Year is coming. Although I am a little embarrassed, this is not the time to be shy. If I don't say it, I will regret it, so I sincerely say to you, bring the red envelope!

96. If you procrastinate, you procrastinate. The most likely thing is that when others don't exist, you will go around in the sun all day, not afraid of scaring others. Don't think you are handsome, in fact, you are just Marshal Tian Peng!

97. On that summer afternoon, I took you into the green tent. The sun was shining high and the breeze lifted my clothes. We had a wonderful afternoon together: you bowed your head and ate grass, while I read the picture book!

98. It is said that cats sleep for ten hours a day, play by themselves for four hours, stay in a daze for four hours, be teased for four hours, eat and drink for one hour, and read text messages for the last hour. Don't believe it? Look, the cat is reading the short message again.

99. It is said that men and women don't like each other in less than a second. Look at the second one, I have a good impression; Look at the second one, you will feel dark; Look at the second picture, it is affectionate; I looked at you, and then I ... I wanted to throw up!

100. I consulted some classics, interviewed psychologists, naturalists and physicists at home and abroad, and combined with my experiments, I finally found a summer resort, that is: stay in your cool place!