The psychological cold reading technique to instantly win the trust of others

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No one in this world can fully understand yourself, including yourself. Although almost all of us are aware of this fact, we still have to spend our lives looking for a soulmate. Once we find someone who seems like a soulmate, we will immediately invite him into our hearts. In the end, we discovered that we had invited a thief to steal our hearts.

Li Xunhuan once said: The more enemies the better, but only one friend is enough, but it is this friend who is more terrifying than all the enemies put together!

Therefore, whether to be gregarious or independent has become the biggest problem of our time.

We were hiding in the corner of the party, holding a mobile phone that hardly received any messages, looking at the friends chatting passionately next to us, and suddenly felt at a loss. We constantly recall our friends in our school days and those green years, but we don’t know that only those who are not doing well now will remember the past.

Now you are used to seeing gods and goddesses disdain you; leaders appreciating other colleagues; parents appreciating other people's children. You have nothing left, are you willing to change this desperate situation?

If you are willing, then learn cold reading with me!

There are as many books on communication skills on the market as the sands of the Yellow River, and many popular articles also emphasize communication skills. However, I want to say that such books and articles do not have the impact to change your life. They have three shortcomings:

(1) We do not lack ideas, we lack technology. Most of the articles have a loud title, and there is not much substantive content except a few life stories.

(2) Most articles emphasize how to communicate fluently with opponents. What I want to emphasize is that outputting feelings is far more important than outputting content. Once a guy likes you, no matter what you say, he will interpret it in good faith. If a person hates you, no matter how well-intentioned your reminder is, he will be treated like a donkey. At this point, I believe everyone has considerable experience.

(3) The most important point is that rather than passively catering to others, you need to actively present yourself. Cold reading is not only a communication technique, but also a way to shape your personality and keep you away from inferiority.

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Cold reading is a technology that has not yet been fully disclosed. Because many people use such techniques to gain the trust of others and then often use them to commit fraud. An important reason why I plan to publish this technique is that if we learn cold reading, we can also help others and ourselves not to be deceived. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon says that swords are neither good nor evil, but people have good and evil.

Cold reading is to use active language or behavior to express understanding of others based on simple understanding.

For example, at the beginning of the New Year, almost all my friends sent me New Year greeting messages. It's nothing more than auspiciousness in the Year of the Monkey, wishing you good health, etc. A slightly more thoughtful message will add the words "Teacher Zhou". However, I must give my greatest favor to Teacher LV. The message she sent me had only five words: I wish you a speedy return.

Now I finally understand why Teacher LV is so popular in school. I don’t have a close relationship with Teacher LV. She only knew that I was teaching in a poor township, but these five words deeply evoked my homesickness, and my affection for her doubled at that moment.

These short five words undoubtedly use the cold reading technique. Maybe she is the kind of person who naturally knows how to speak to make people around her feel comfortable.

Throughout history, He Shen, Mingzhu, Gao Lishi, etc. are all masters of cold reading.

If we can understand a little cold reading, maybe our life will not be as difficult as it is today. It was like this in the past, it is like this now, and it will still be like this in the future.

My good friend Qingsheng has deceived many girls with his cold reading technique. His first words after meeting a girl are often: "In the eyes of others, you are a lively and lovely girl, but I vaguely feel that... You have an unknown sadness, can you tell me about it? ”

Although many smart girls no longer fall into the trap, we always have an ambivalence: we are wary of others and close our hearts. , but at the same time eager for others to understand themselves.

Under such ambivalence, he is really popular. What he said above will be more or less similar to any of us.

So how to use normal cold reading in daily life!

(1) Homologous method

In personnel recruitment, examiners often ask this question: Why did you choose our position/company?

There are many answers. In fact, the best answer is to agree with the examiner. Before your interview, you need to understand the company culture of the unit.

For example, if you are applying for a job at KFC, McDonald's, etc., you answer: Because I want to bring laughter to everyone. The word laughter is the essence that I summed up in various KFC advertisements. Don't underestimate this word. A word with a high homology rate can greatly bring the relationship between two people closer.

For another example, a new colleague P is a person who loves mountain climbing and extreme sports. One time, I invited him to dinner. The shops we usually went to were all full, so we had to choose a restaurant we had never been to. Before entering, I saw him hesitate.

So I said to him: "Let's challenge the taste of this restaurant!"

At that time, I noticed that he had a knowing smile, and then we had a very special meeting. Enjoyable dinner.

(2) Routine topics

In this world, each of us has countless contradictions and psychological conflicts. Making good use of these psychological conflicts to organize topics can often achieve unexpected results. A good communication often starts with both parties revealing their hearts. Below are a few routine topics summarized by Master Meow, which you can use in your life depending on the situation.

"It can be seen that you are the kind of person who always thinks about the other person, but can also be misunderstood!"

"You always work hard and face problems with strength. , but there will inevitably be times when you force yourself, right? ”

“I can see that you have greater potential, but maybe you are not at your best yet!”

"I believe you are a very good judge of people, but people's hearts are so far apart from each other that sometimes they turn against you, which makes you shocked!"

"For you, money is not important. , there must be other more important things in your life, tell me!”

Using this technique can be of great help to people who have little communication experience, because it takes the initiative to speak. The power is transferred from you to others, giving others a desire to talk. Rather than talking to themselves, masters can always make the other person talk endlessly. Sometimes the treatment method used by psychological counselors is to open the conversation with routine topics, then simply listen to the client's demands and make some simple responses.

Interpersonal communication is mainly about communicating hearts rather than external things. From today on, forget about those parents, okay? Where do you work? Have you bought a car or a house? Such topics! Of course, if someone insists on such a topic, and if there is no interest in it, I think you can emotionally end the relationship.

(3) Positive attention

Positive attention is not entirely a technique of cold reading, it is one of the main techniques of psychological counseling. Psychological counselors often use positive attention techniques to help clients regain their confidence in life and create an atmosphere in which clients are understood.

Here is an example. When the client talks for a long time about the difficulties and emotional difficulties in his life, the counselor can ask the client this question.

"In the dilemma of improving your life, I believe you have made some efforts!"

If the visitor answers: "I have made a lot of efforts, and I and I My boss argued hard and communicated with my wife, and I did everything possible to save my life!"

At this time, the counselor replied: "Awesome, you are indeed a strong and brave person!"

After listening to this sentence, the client will have a feeling that the counselor understands him very well, and he will feel that the counselor is very powerful. In subsequent treatments, the counselor can use this halo effect to bring the client to the positive side.

However, what should we do if the visitor has other answers? For example, he said: "I haven't made any changes, I'm in pain, and I don't know what to do!"

At this time, the counselor replied: "You may need some time to calm down before making certain changes. mood, such a decision will be more rational!"

If the other party is relatively calm and replies: "Actually, I didn't do anything, I have already thought about these things, and I am taking it lightly!"

< p> Then the counselor replied: "I feel relieved about this!"

In life, we make good use of positive attention techniques to give our peers a feeling of being understood, recognized and cared about. When they After making certain changes in his life difficulties, he will also attribute part of the credit to your support. In fact, each of us has a positive and negative side, which is the most basic default contradiction. Positive attention can be regarded as a special and helpful routine topic.

I hope that through the application of these psychological communication technologies, our increasingly indifferent life can be more warm and humorous, and less suspicious and critical. If you like it, please give it a follow