Family life, disappointment and exhaustion, say yes.

First, there is infinite despair for ourselves, our family and the world.

Second, alas, study despair, love despair, family despair, career despair. I don't know why people like me still exist. I'm so brave.

Third, if you can't sleep late at night, you will be melodramatic. Recently, you are really tired. Although it is not the first time I feel desperate, it is probably the first time I feel deeply desperate for my family. The sadness in the heart is greater than death, and no one knows the depression and pain in the heart; I know very well that I can't tell anyone about this feeling of affection. Of course, even if I tell about the world, there will be no other person who knows this feeling of helplessness and despair better than me, so I don't intend to tell, just record my life! As long as you can't die, try to live and change, even if it's just a little bit.

Fourth, I came back from the hospital last night and rushed to the medical department of Zhongguancun Book Building to browse medical books! Through my in-depth understanding of gastric cancer surgery, I felt more confused and desperate and finally chose a book. I know, I should pay attention to my father and my own psychology! A family member is sick, which is a cruel psychological destruction to his family! Yesterday, I told my dad that I could leave the hospital in a week. He said I wouldn't do spleen surgery. I said it was too big, and the risk of operation was high. After that, my dad was obviously depressed! Dad from a serious and taciturn person, from hospitalization to emotional depression, and his illness can be closely related!

Five, a word from a friend, let me vaguely understand. I am thinking that sometimes a person makes you despair, not because he is selfish or cowardly, but because he has not grown up psychologically, because the difference between children and adults is that children rely far more on their families and society than on themselves. Spoiled children usually lack independence.