A one-second joke

In a 20-word joke, everyone will have secular desires and feel different emotions. Each of us may experience these different emotions in our life, because emotions are complex and influenced by too many factors. To share 20 words of a one-second joke.

One-second joke 1 1 Lord Bao, why is there a moon on your forehead? Because I don't understand the darkness of my day.

2, we are all: sleeping in class, jumping after class, and dying in the exam.

Time flies, only one second, only two seconds.

4. Go away! Danger! It feels like it's going to explode!

5. How dare you lie. How dare I not believe it?

6. Some people don't even know their neighbors, but they are extremely concerned about whether there are aliens in the world.

7. Dayu didn't enter the house for three times, and his wife sang at home every day and missed him: Dayu missed those years, and love missed those years.

8. I know this is a world of looking at faces. I took the money from the school to have plastic surgery.

9, self-timer this kind of thing, three points are doomed, seven points rely on filters.

10, don't give me a discharge, your brother has a caller ID.

1 1. Since I know that eating goods is better than silly strong, I think I'd better be a foodie.

12, don't panic if life is not satisfactory. Looking at my wallet and savings, I cried.

13, the rich are afraid that others will know that he has money, while the poor are afraid that others will know that he has no money.

14. In the past, the mail was very slow, and I only loved one person in my life. Now the network technology is developed, and 50 people can be green in one day.

15, people must not treat themselves badly when they are alive. For example, losing weight is too far from me, and eating a bowl of meat is more practical.

16, two people's weight is not an order of magnitude, how can they be friends and can't play on the seesaw?

17, every time I say I will never talk to you again, don't believe me. Do I look like a man of principle?

18, now you scold me because you don't know me yet. When you get to know me later, you will definitely hit me.

19. Don't complain that there is no beef in the beef noodles. Is there no wife in the old lady's cake?

Studies show that drinking a cup of hot milk one hour before going to bed every night will cost a few more dollars than people who don't drink milk.

2 1. Behind a successful man, there must be a great woman, and behind a successful boss, there must be a group of unlucky employees.

22, youth will soon pass, no music, movies, lovers are not preservatives.

23, looking for a wife must find two types, one is my type and the other is my type.

24. Is there a feeling that you feel fat overnight and feel small in a few days?

Although you are not very beautiful, the world can't live without you, because no one can set off the beauty of this world.

26. I lost too much blood in English translation, and you were black and blue in the mathematical equation.

27. Someone asked me how to live alone in this materialistic society, and I replied: not because of poverty!

28, the meat is long, the face is round, the stomach is fat and the legs are thick. These days are also very fulfilling.

29. Going out this summer is going into the oven. Walking is spicy hotpot. Sit down and it's teppanyaki. Don't rain If it rains, it will become boiled fish.

30. Boys nowadays are too bad. They are whiter than girls, taller than girls, more beautiful than girls, and compete with girls for boyfriends.

3 1, you all asked me how to spend New Year's Eve. The answer is simple, skip.

32. When I arrived at the examination room, I completely collapsed and saw tears all over the paper. I don't test anything I recite, and I can't test it.

33. Sorry, public toilets are not suitable for your gender.

Because you have a double chin, don't bow your head when you encounter any difficulties.

If I can avoid facing it, please send me a pair of roller skates to make me run faster.

What girls need now is not a prince, but a male god who can assist mathematics and physics.

37. I often skip class with a classmate, and the teacher always asks my parents. Later, my classmate's father said to him, son, I can't go to school. I go to school more days than you this semester.

38. It doesn't matter if you have a simple meal, if your friends are gone, or if you are confused. As long as you have a steaming soul, life will not be bad.

I want to be an onion in my next life. Whoever bullies me will burst into tears.

I keep my figure so stable because I have extremely strict self-discipline in diet, one elbow a day, and I don't eat a bite!

Second, I saw the long hair fluttering from a distance, carefully looked at the tiger's back, turned around and saw the old demon in Montenegro.

Q: Why do young people like traveling so much? A: Anyway, I can't afford a house all my life. Let's make heaven and earth our home.

Fourth, my boyfriend and I went shopping and passed by the blue ocean. I didn't mean to ask, "Are the clothes here expensive?" Idiot boyfriend roared: "the advertisement on TV says you only go twice a year." Do you think it is expensive? "

5. When in love, couples often lament what virtue they have accumulated in their last life; After marriage, couples often think about what crimes they committed in their previous lives.

6. If you think I'm fat, just say it. Don't beat around the bush and say, "You really walked one step at a time"!

Seven, other people's twenties: face-lifting needles, opening the corners of the eyes, padding the nose, filling fat, risorius. I am in my twenties: this is delicious, that is delicious, hahaha, everything that can be eaten is delicious.

8. What's wrong with my short stature? I can pick up money faster than you! I am fatter. What's the matter? I enjoy more delicious food than you! What happened to my little eyes? I get less sand than you!

Nine, some women are afraid of thunder on rainy days and scare their babies to death. At night, the DJ in the bar exploded loudly, one black and one bright. Why haven't I seen you scared? Shake it hard, your mother doesn't even know you.

Ten, endless work, not enough sleep, not fat wallet, can't afford mink, earned 200 million in half a life, once lost memory, once remembered.

Xi。 I just saw someone who looks like you. I ran like crazy, only remember that there is no you in this city. I slowed down and put down the bricks.

Twelve, when you are alive, you always have to bear some responsibilities or find some sustenance. So some people are adoptive parents, wives and children, some people keep cats, dogs, birds and fish, and some people keep flowers and plants. I'm more advanced. I closed my eyes and began to recuperate.

Thirteen, I don't know if I am awesome, but when someone tells me that "you are dead and the earth is still turning", I feel that the earth is persisting.

14. The friend said: This woman is really difficult to serve now. Later, she said she wanted to eat grapes, and when she bought one, she said she wanted to eat lychee, just like walking the dog. I said, don't be dissatisfied. My queen mother said she wanted to eat a box lunch on the train.

15. You pretend to be cold after every exam, because when others are arguing about whether the answer is A or B, you can't figure out why you chose C.

There are many people on the subway. I whispered in my girlfriend's ear, "My feet are numb!" My best friend immediately said loudly, "What? You are pregnant for three months! " I was at a loss when several people stood up and offered their seats to me.

Seventeen, when you are in a bad mood, you should chat with your aunt in the community. In less than a minute, you will know which building and which family are worse than you, and you will be happy in an instant!

18. My friend invited me to dinner at noon. When I paid the bill, I saw him delay in paying it and said, "Why don't I pay?" "How dare you!" "Nothing." So I put my hand in his pocket.

In order to lose weight, my roommate and I agreed to jog in the street for half an hour every night. We persisted for a month, and the effect was really obvious. We ate all the barbecue stalls along the street.

If you want to buy a house in Beijing with a monthly salary of 10 thousand, you may wish to set a small goal first, such as living for 500 years.

Twenty-one, after you get married, if the groom is not me, I will move in next door to your house and treat your children better than my own until your husband doubts life.

One second joke 3 1. When I was a child, I secretly vowed to be an extremely smart person in the future. After years of hard work, we finally achieved half of it. I am ... I am awesome now.

2, you have to remember that no matter how estranged we are in the end, a red envelope can go back to the beginning.

I always feel familiar when I see a woman in the street, but I can't remember who it is. When I came home at night, I saw my wife and suddenly realized it was my wife. She didn't wear makeup in the morning!

4. Mom and Dad are really amazing creatures. They believe all the rumors in their circle of friends, but they will expose your lies at a glance.

5. Kindergarten teacher: "A child didn't wash his hands yesterday, so I sent him home!" "Does this trick work?" "Nobody washes their hands today!"

6, a second of laughter, when changing seasons, girls will have three ideas: I feel that the clothes I bought last year are particularly ugly, and I feel that there is always a dress missing in the closet. I really don't know how I got here last year!

7. You look very creative and live with courage. Ugliness is not your intention, but God is losing his temper.

8. If life deceives you, don't be sad, don't be impatient, get used to it after being cheated several times!

9. Others stay in bed because they have money. They can sleep as long as they want. I stay in bed because I have no money, so I can save a meal, not a meal.

10, I hate this world of looking at faces, so I don't know who really loves me.

1 1. I called the police as soon as my wife disappeared. The policeman said to me, calm down first. You can't take notes if you keep laughing like that.

12, a person feels lonely when eating, but not when eating snacks. Really can't refute!

13, I turn my head very high. Basically, I turn my head when I see every handsome guy. Each of us is a dreamer. When dreams are gone, only dreamers are left.

14, went to the cinema to watch horror movies with my wife. Just as I was buying the ticket, the conductor glanced at my wife and said to me, "Dude, you are wasting money."

15, eating food is kind, because I just want to eat every day and have no time to count others.

16. What's the experience of having a sensible brother? He said to me, "Sister, when I grow up, I will earn money to give you plastic surgery!" " "

17, I suddenly want to fart in class. At that time, in order not to let the people around me hear, the class was very chaotic, so I asked my deskmate to make some noise, and my deskmate readily agreed. He gave a roar, and the whole class suddenly became quiet, and then. . . Then. . . My fart rang.

18, I used to take selfies because I didn't look good, but now it's different, and now I have a thick skin.

19, some people get up early to enjoy the first sunshine, some people exercise, some people exercise for a delicious breakfast, and I exercise for the urine in my stomach.

20. The salesman said to a customer who was smoking, "Sir, smoking is forbidden here." The customer replied, "This is the cigarette I bought from you." Salesman: "So what? We also sell toilet paper here! " "