Classic beer quotations (1)

May 2, 2020. The tenth day of the fourth lunar month.

I'm going to start complaining about your big beer classmate again. If I don't hack him every few days, I'm not happy.

He destroys me every day, but I can't beat him I can only record all his lies in this corner as evidence, and I will show them to him one day.

One night, beer clamored to go to the forest farm to play with Lulu's dog.

Beer Beer: Go to the forest farm!

Grandma: No, it's getting dark.

Beer: It's not dark. There is still half the sun.

Grandma: ...

The next morning, grandpa came to pick up beer and went out to play. Beer was going to the forest farm to find Lulu's dog.

Grandpa: No way. Grandpa doesn't know anyone and can't take you there.

Beer: Then take me back to grandma's house. I will reunite with my grandparents, and then I will find Lulu.

Me: It's over, Dad. You are out of favor.

Grandma Beer had a brainwave: Beer, we can invite grandma out to play. Grandma has puppies, too, okay?

Beer: OK!

Me: Son, you should be nice to your aunt when she comes. That's her puppy.

Beer: Why?

Me: Because it is Gu Mu's puppy, you are not good to Gu Mu, so Gu Mu took the puppy back.

Beer: Oh.

Me: Do you like puppies or grandmothers?

Beer: Puppy!

Me: Think about it.

Beer: I like puppies, and I also like Gu Mu, because that's Gu Mu's puppy.

Me: OK, let's hit the road.

Then the beer spent a wonderful morning with Diandian, the grandmother and the dog. I talked with Diandian for a long time.

Me: Diandian, you are four years old. You should be a mature and steady dog. Why do you poop everywhere?

Diandian: Whoo.

Me: Let's use one to eight to calculate the age of people and dogs. If you are human, you are 32 years old and one year older than me. How could you?

Diandian: Whoo.

Me: You gave birth to a litter of puppies. You are a pregnant woman. Can we try not to poop on the road?

Diandian: Whoo.

Me: Well, it doesn't make sense. Always solve me in one sentence.

Beer: Ma Ma, why don't you play with Diandian and me?

Me: No, no, I gave you a little, and I gave it all to you.

Because grandma has something to do at noon, beer has to go to bed in the afternoon. At noon, we went back to our homes to find our mothers to watch birds, but beer was reluctant to go out to play with Diandian tomorrow. As a result, beer woke up from a nap and jumped high to find some.

Me: I have something to do. You are going to eat hot pot tonight, so you can't play today.

Beer: Why?

Me: Because Diandian is very busy, and dogs are not allowed in hot pot restaurants.

Beer: I want to take some meat!

Me: I don't have time. I can't enter the hot pot restaurant after ordering.

Beer blinks: grandma disappeared and left in the blue sky and white clouds.

Me: So Diandian is yours?

Beer: Yes!

Me: Well, in order to save some for yourself, you lost your aunt in one sentence?

Beer: mmm!

Me: Your aunt will cry. ...

Naturally, I didn't bring any that day, and the beer was still mumbling at night.

Beer: I want to have some fun. We have an appointment.

Me: Your appointment is tomorrow.

Beer: Mom, you make the sky light up.

Me: Ma Ma can't.

Beer: Puppies are all dressed in blue.

Me: No, I'm wearing red today.

Beer: Then I'll buy a blue one.

Me: Do you know the date?

Beer beer looked down at his chubby self: about the same as me?

Me: ... beer, you weigh 38 kg, which seems to be less than 3 kg. Do you two wear the same size? This is a bit of singing.

Beer Beer: What is singing opera?

Me: singing opera is almost a kind of singing.

Beer: Oh, I will. Bajie smiled and held a flower. I married my sister-in-law. ...

Me: Son, will you forget this song?

Beer: I don't want it!

Me: Sooner or later, your big brother will hit you.

One day, before eating, beer was sitting at the table waiting for dinner and chattering.

Beer Beer: Everyone has a tongue. Without it, you can't put anything down. It's time to fall into the esophagus

Me:?

Beer: then it falls into the stomach, then the intestines, and then it is pulled out.

Me:?

So the whole point of having a tongue is to prevent delicious food from entering?

Grandpa passed by and didn't hear a beer: grandson, what are you doing?

Beer: I'm observing my stomach.

Grandpa: ...

Grandpa Beer floated away in amazement.

It's time for dinner. Grandma Beer brought a bowl of steaming stew and a plate of cooked quail eggs with goose eggs.

Beer Beer: Oh, it's still steaming!

Me: ...

Beer caught a goose egg.

Beer: Who cooked this egg so delicious?

Me: Goose.

Beer: That goose is really my good friend.

Me: Aren't geese good friends because they can't lay eggs?

Beer: No. ..

Me: ... very realistic.

Tired of playing with goose eggs, I threw them aside and picked up a small quail egg and looked around.

Beer: Look, Mom! This is a dinosaur egg!

Me: Is this dinosaur a little small?

Beer: Well, yes, little dinosaurs laid small eggs, and big dinosaurs laid big eggs. Ma Ma is a little dinosaur, and I am a little egg!

Me: Son, you don't seem to know much about your weight. If you are a small egg, who is a big egg?

Beer Beer: Dad is a big egg!

Me: Shh, son, keep your voice down. Didn't you say your grandmother was a big dinosaur?

Grandma: I may have heard of …

One day, beer suddenly wanted to eat sugar, but he looked everywhere and couldn't find it.

Beer: Mom, I want to eat sugar.

Me: No.

Beer: Yes! There must be!

Me: Children who eat bad sugar will become little fools.

Beer: No, I'm the smartest.

Me: Eating sugar hurts my teeth.

Beer: Eating sugar is not bad for your teeth!

Me: I believe in your evil. How to eat sugar without bad teeth?

Beer: Eating sugar is good for your teeth and brain.

Me: What's bad for teeth and brain?

Beer: It's not good to eat sand.

Me: Most people don't eat sand. People who can eat sand are not necessarily smart. ...

Beer Beer Watching cartoons with my iPad, a polar bear appeared on the screen.

Beer: Mom, the bear is white. Is it old?

Me: polar bear, it's white, old and young.

Beer beer: will grandma be white when she is old?

Me: Grandma is quite white now.

Beer: I said Mao.

Me: That's called hair.

Beer Beer: Will Grandma's hair turn white when she gets old?

Me: I will.

Beer: Will I be white when I get old?

Me: Yes, but it's still early.

Beer: it looks good if you drink it for nothing.

Me: You won't say that in 50 years.

Beer: white and fat and lovely.

Me: Then you are very cute now.

Beer: Mom, I thought about it. I like you!

Me: Thanks, I like you, too. I'm just curious. You like me. Why do you have to think it over before you decide?

Beer: Because I want to eat bananas.

Me: If you have something to say, I will like you better.

Beer: Mom, do you have any bananas?

Me: Yes.

Beer: Then go and get it.

Me: ... OK!

One night, the beer was sleepy and everything was not pleasing to the eye. I want to change him into clean clothes before going to bed. Beer is very thick.

Beer: I don't want to undress! This looks good!

Me: This is dirty. Change it.

Beer: still wearable!

Me: Do you have to wear black and white clothes like your father? Black clothes are dirty when they are white?

Beer: Don't take off your clothes!

I rummaged through my clothes bag: How about this red short sleeve?

Beer: Not good! This is not a dress to wear before going to bed!

Me: How about this sweater?

Beer: This is a little good.

Me: That's it, Emma. You know how to be picky.

When beer fights with me in bed, grandma beer washes clothes for beer in the bathroom.

When I go to the forest farm to play during the day, I have to sit on the wet sand pile in front of others and dig sand, which makes my ass covered with yellow mud marks, which is quite difficult to wash. After washing, there is yellow soup and sand at the bottom of the basin.

It is said that beer was still running around naked on the hot kang when playing in the forest farm. Later, I was worried that the puppy would swallow weapons of mass destruction before putting on pants honestly.

Beer: Where's Grandma?

Me: Grandma washes your clothes in the bathroom.

Beer: I'll go!

Me: What are you doing?

Beer: Go and see grandma.

I went to the bathroom with beer, and grandma just went to the living room to hang clothes, not here.

Beer Beer: Why is Grandma gone?

Me: I went to hang the clothes.

Beer beer: why do you say no, no?

Me: ... That's not lost. Why did you talk to someone else? This is not friendly.

Grandma's voice came from afar: it's gone, it's gone. If it is suddenly gone, it is definitely not bitter.

Me: ...

I'm holding a beer, and I really don't have a hand over my face.

One morning, the beer was awakened by my father.

Beer: Ma Ma! I want to poop!

Me: I didn't wake up. I don't want to talk to you.

Beer: Grandma! I want to poop!

Grandma: Let's go!

Fifteen minutes later, beer was playing in the living room, and I tried to sleep under the quilt.

Beer: I am a kitten.

Grandma: Are you numb?

Beer beer: I am a kitten.

Grandma: What did she do?

Beer: She is lazy in bed.

Me:?

Little traitor! ! ! ! !

Grandpa's family has a very fat stuffed pig. One day, beer does not wear socks. I put it on him, he takes it off, I put it on again, he takes it off again. So many times, I finally broke out and put my socks on the pig.

Beer: Why put socks on pigs?

Me: You don't like it anyway. Give it to the pig.

Beer: There are still two missing. I have two feet, and a pig has four feet.

Me: Yo-ho, now you know the number.

Beer: Ma Ma, look at the pig's heart still beating, on the left.

Me:?

Over the years, I really don't know where the pig heart is. ...

We should call your aunt. She teaches biology. She must know.

Beer Beer: Mom, please call quickly and ask where some snacks are.

Me: ...

One morning, my grandparents came to get a bottle of beer and went to the park. When leaving, grandma sent it to the corridor, but the beer refused to say goodbye to grandma.

Me: Say goodbye to grandma and see you tonight.

Beer: No.

Me: Why?

Beer: I don't want it.

Grandma: Grandson, I'm so sad. I delivered it, and you didn't even say goodbye.

Beer that has gone down one and a half stairs: I can't bear to part with it.

Me: Emma! What a surprise!

Grandma: Emma! How touching!

Later, according to grandma beer, as soon as she heard beer, she couldn't bear to say goodbye to grandma, so she didn't say any more. She almost cried.

In order to accompany the growth of beer and give beer better early childhood education, beer's grandfather chose to resign his leadership position, organize relationships and stand by after retiring for more than five years.

Grandma: Grandpa is basically retired. He can play more beer, but he has no money.

Beer: I have a lot of money to give to my grandfather. It is in Tangshan.

Grandma: Are you happy then?

Beer Beer: Yes, you can play with beer, and you can also buy cars and robots, just like the robots in March.

Me:?

When I said I wanted to buy a bag, you didn't mean beer, did you? Didn't you say you only had three dollars?

Beer: Give it to Grandpa and you will have money.

Me: break up, I can't pass.

Beer, beer, go to the reservoir to play a little.

Beer: We can walk around.

Me: Is there any way to go?

Beer: Just chatting.

Me: Then don't go, Twitter, then go.

Beer: We can roll around.

Me: Go with Diandian, mom won't accompany you.

Beer: Can a puppy get a haircut?

Me: Actually, it's OK. Sometimes it is more expensive than a haircut.

Beer: Is the puppy going to the beauty salon?

Me: Maybe. Ask your aunt.

Beer Beer: Mom, you are older. I want to go there.

Me: Don't pass yet. Tell me what "leaning on big" means.

Beer didn't say anything, just gave me a little look of "please understand yourself".

One day, beer went out for a walk again.

Beer Beer: the columns are arranged according to a 2!

Me:?

Let me have a closer look. I thought the same thing.

Beer: Really 2!

Me: It's true.

Beer: It's 2!

Me: ...

Who made you so persistent?

One day, I had stewed ribs for breakfast. It occurred to me that I wanted to imitate the dark dishes in which beer was dipped in peanut butter and prawns. I took it out of the refrigerator, dug a spoonful of peanut butter and hid it next to my plate. Later, I wanted to try spareribs, but I was worried that I would never stop eating peanut butter after seeing beer.

Five minutes later, I found it delicious, so I took a small piece and fed it to the beer mouth.

Hey, I tell you, mothers always want to give their babies a bite after eating good food, even though they know that if they eat too much peanut butter, they will get fat.

Beer: What's this smell?

Me: Guess.

Beer: It looks like peanut butter! Peanut butter is the best!

Grandpa beer sitting next to him: it's over. The food is terrible. He found it.

Beer: It's over! Bad food! Peanut butter, come out! I see you!

Me: I was wrong. ...

Beer used to hate egg yolk. He felt too dry and suffocated. Even if it is mashed and mixed with rice, he will not eat it.

Suddenly one day, I don't know why he accepted the egg yolk.

Me: When did you start eating egg yolk?

Beer: I like to eat egg yolk. I liked it yesterday, I like it tomorrow, and then I became a strong big white cat.

Me: Then I can't hold it any longer.

Beer: Is the big white cat bad?

Me: OK.

Beer: Yes, I don't need to hold it when I am strong.

Me: Wait and see.

Beer: What is a "four-eye bag"?

Me: You're right, just keep your eyes open and wait for this day. Wrong, that is, put four eyeballs in one pocket. ...

Beer Beer: What about a bag?

Me: Take it for sale.

Beer Beer: What's it for?

Me: sell it to a pregnant aunt and eat a child who can grow eyes.

Beer: Why?

Me: Think about it, one bag can hold four eyeballs. It must be big. You can eat babies with big eyes.

Beer: Why?

Me: No, I just verbally retaliated against your grandma and grandma for conspiring to feed me pig eyes when I was pregnant with you. That's disgusting.

Beer: ... I'm going to ride a bike. Bye, mom!

Me: Fuck off.

The beer sat on his pony barrel and snorted. I squatted in front of him and tried to put socks on him, so he took the opportunity to play with me, Liu Haier.

Me: Beer Beer, what are you doing?

Beer beer: cut hemp hair.

Me: Ma Ma is a girl. She doesn't want to cut her hair short. She looks good in pigtails.

Beer beer: short hair sago looks good.

Me: Your father says you are a hairy brother. Will you adapt?

Put socks on the beer, I got up to find some water to drink, but the beer couldn't catch my hair, so I reached out and caught up with me. As a result, I accidentally pushed too hard, even the toilet turned over and almost fell into the Baba pile.

Me: ...

I must consider whether I can save you. I can't do it.

He's finished. I have something strange to clean up when I go to the bathroom. Beer climbed onto the table and insisted on grandma's garlic clip. When I got it, I ate oranges with it.

Will that work?

Is it possible to spill soup all over the table?

Have you considered the feeling of oranges?

Have you considered how you feel about your new clothes in the morning?

Have you considered the feelings of grandma who washes clothes?

Certainly not. ...

Yesterday, I went to my second aunt's house. Bill likes her wardrobe very much. She always got in to hide and seek cats, and finally took my little sister's pink rabbit doll.

Grandma: Beer. You can't take other people's things

Beer: Why?

Grandma: Because it's my sister's, not yours.

Beer: It's my little rabbit.

Grandma: beer, grandma gives you two choices. First of all, you should discuss with your sister that you can borrow it today and send it back tomorrow. Second, you put the rabbit down and grandma will buy you the same one tomorrow.

Beer: How about three? Third, I can take it home. The rabbit is mine.

Grandma: ... that won't do. My sister's is her sister's You can't rob her.

Beer: Let's share it.

Me: You took it all away. What else did you share?

Beer: I want it!

Then he dodged our encirclement, opened the door and called the elevator, ready to escape.

My second aunt and my second aunt were afraid of making the beer cry, so they kept saying, take it, take it, it's okay. I gave the beer.

That won't do either. After laying this foundation, he will collect all his favorite things when he goes to other people's homes. Isn't this the game developed by Xiong Haizi?

My little sister will be sad, too People are very simple and can't be bullied by beer.

Unfortunately, I couldn't catch up with the beer for the first time, so I had to discuss in the elevator to let the beer play for one night and send Tutu back to my sister tomorrow.

I made a good promise about beer, but I broke my word when I got home. Apart from taking a bath all night, I didn't give up holding the rabbit, even sleeping. I was afraid that the rabbit would disappear when I woke up.

I went out to play today, walked around with the rabbit in my arms and took a nap. I have never seen him like anything so much.

Surprise.

It was already dark when I came out of my second aunt's house.

Beer: I want outdoor daytime.

Me: That would be hard. It will take tomorrow morning.

Beer: Let's hurry up tomorrow.

Me: ...

I ate a box of ice cream last night and had a good time.

Beer: Mom, I want to eat, too.

Me: No. Ice cream is cold.

Beer: What about hot ice?

Me: Nothing strange. ...

Beer beer must take a bath with the toy rabbit.

Me: You can't bring rabbits, it will get wet, and you can't play when the water is wet. It can only wait for you under the covers.

Beer: Well, wait for me!

In five minutes.

Beer: God, why did you wash me into a paste?

Me: ...

Beer: God is scared away. Bring a basin of water.

Me: Do you think everyone likes to drink your bath water?

Beer: Yes, drinking bath water makes you smart.

Me: ...

After the beer came out of the bathtub, he ran around naked. I finally caught him and put short sleeves on him.

Beer running all over the ground: riding a big horse, crossing a broadsword, croaking, lifting your thighs, jumping high, croaking well!

Me: Yes, it rhymes.

Beer jumped into grandpa's bed and played for a while. I felt tired, so I said goodbye to grandpa.

Beer: I have lived here for several years. I have to go home and sleep. Goodbye!

Grandpa:? Bye.

How many years? How old are you?

Before going to bed, beer was holding the rabbit in his arms, and his mouth refused to rest for a while, humming a song.

Beer Beer: Give me a hug! Give me a hug and put my rabbit in the sedan chair!

Me:?

Beer: Is this song nice?

Me: That sounds good.

Beer: It doesn't sound good. This song is terrible.

Me: If you don't sleep, I'll throw you all into the sedan chair.

Beer: Oh, good night, Mom. Love you!

Me: ...

If I don't spit beer for three or five days, I can save a laundry list of messy quotations and fill my WeChat transmission assistant with nowhere to go.

As I was writing this article, I was tired of playing beer and went home with my grandparents. Beer Beer took the expensive lipstick I gave grandma and drew a big red face for grandpa.

Grandma Beer took this precious moment with her mobile phone, and Grandpa Beer in the photo actually smiled proudly.

Oh, I don't know what this man is happy about.

Anyway, I am not very happy, because there are four big characters sent by grandma beer in the WeChat group-debt and mother compensation.

Anyway, I got a loan to buy lipstick.