Principles and Variations

Book Fan Deng Reading

Title Principles and Flexibility

Content

You must have principles in your heart and know how to be flexible.

A person has principles and a position in his heart, but when he needs to observe words and emotions externally, he can also be flexible.

Having principles and bottom lines means that we know what our own standards are for how we behave and do things. For example, you must abide by the law, be kind, honest, etc. But it is far from enough for us as social beings to just abide by it in our hearts and do it ourselves.

I remember one time, when everyone was about to face the next day’s challenge together, as the main person in charge, I saw a team member posted a bad message on QQ Talk . I immediately left a message afterwards asking if there was anything I could help with and offering encouragement, but he did not reply. Finally I found out from another member that I had upset her. Although I still don’t know what made her unhappy because he never told me. Even though we became good friends later, this incident still touched me: even if we have goals and struggle together, even if we are kind in our hearts, even if we both want each other to become better It’s so altruistic, but because everyone is different and because we don’t know how to adapt to “observe the words and the emotions”, we often still cause misunderstandings, conflicts, and even turn against each other!

Therefore, whether it is how we behave in life or how we get along with colleagues at work, we all need to cultivate ourselves to be "comfortable and upright", have principles and bottom lines, but this is just A necessary condition for being a social person and a manager. At the same time, we must also have the ability to have emotions, the art of communication, and the ability to manage in order to handle our relationships with others, and these are also essential qualities and abilities for managers.

However, "I am not RMB, and I cannot make everyone like me." Therefore, even if we pay attention to cultivation and strive to be "square inside and round outside", it is inevitable that we will still have many conflicts with others. Friction and contradiction. What to do? Is it self-blame? I think that while we try our best to deal with the relationship with others, we must also deal with the relationship with ourselves. We should also let ourselves go and love ourselves!

First, do a good job of self-reflection, reflect on your starting point at the time, reflect on whether your methods and behaviors are inappropriate, correct them if they are, and encourage them if they are not.

Second, analyze the situation at that time and try to understand it from the other person's perspective. Perhaps, we can be much calmer.

Third, understand setbacks as opportunities for growth, think about what they have taught us, and understand and feel them with a grateful heart.

Fourth, let yourself go and let others go. "My heart is bright, so what can I say." At the same time, don't have unrealistic expectations that everyone understands and likes you. After all, bosom friends like Boya and Ziqi can only be met but not sought.

Throughout our lives, we must eventually be worthy of ourselves, have a bright heart, have bottom-line principles, and be worthy of our own conscience; we must also be worthy of others, and live in harmony with others and society with an attitude of inner square and outer circle. .