What makes a son hate his father like an enemy?

It is the frustration and lack of boundaries brought by children themselves that make them hate their father like enemies.

Someone complained to me the other day that her father loves smoking very much and smokes very hard. There is a sentence in his words: "My father has many shortcomings, Mr. Wan, and I really don't know how to face him."

I asked her, "Do you have any shortcomings?" "Yes," she is very frank, and it doesn't matter if she doesn't. People with normal IQ and normal psychology dare not say that they have no shortcomings. "Since you have your own shortcomings, who are you to talk about others?" I asked her.

Then she said something, which I think is very representative. She said, "Miss Wan, I never knew my father was someone else." Father is none other than himself?

Therefore, children who hate their parents not only hate their parents, but also hate themselves-children who hate their parents don't know that their parents are others, and subconsciously mistakenly think that their parents are themselves, which is the result of an obvious lack of sense of boundaries. The root cause of this result is that parents lack a sense of boundary in the process of raising, and even deliberately narrow the distance and blur the sense of boundary.

In the above case, she was so angry because her father smoked because she couldn't let him listen to her advice to quit smoking, which made her feel strongly frustrated. This frustration will make her clearly see her incompetence and out of control, so she is afraid, angry and hateful.

So it is not so much her father's shortcomings that make her angry as her own frustration-facing the reality, unable to change, unwilling to accept, so anxious and resistant.

Such young people are especially common in modern society. Almost everyone is complaining, everyone is anxious, and everyone focuses on others, hoping that others' changes will make them feel better. But the problem is that no one has the obligation to change for your liking, not even your parents, but parents dare not let their children know this.

Especially parents born in the late 1960s and 1970s, most of them don't have such courage. Parents dare not let their children face this fact because they try to prove that their parents are not others. One of the core of this problem is that there are too few children. The one-child policy makes parents more afraid, anxious and manipulated.