Chatting skills, communication skills.

1, first of all, never ask people questions blindly.

Think about your job interview. Most people are full of pressure during the interview. The interviewer will keep asking you questions, as if to thoroughly investigate your identity and family background. Will you feel comfortable? Many people will make this mistake, just like interrogating a prisoner, interrogating his chat partner. Put yourself in others' shoes. If the other person keeps asking you about your family background, savings, house and car during the blind date, I don't think you will feel well either. When you keep throwing out one question after another, you will make this conversation output in one direction, let alone communicate. You don't convey your information to the other party at all, just asking for information from the other party blindly will make people feel that you are very controlling, and no one likes to be controlled by others, and then you will feel uncomfortable. One-way chat can't link the relationship, because one-way communication can't communicate, and no one wants to be interrogated all the time like a prisoner.

2. Second, make statements instead of asking questions.

When you state your situation, you will share your information. When you think about your best friend, you will find that most of the conversations between you are statements rather than questions. Sometimes there may be some small pleasantries, but most of them are complaints. Reporting can not only strengthen your identity, but also make the topic never stop. For example. "What do you like to eat?" This is a problem. You can't establish your identity in TA's mind, because the question itself doesn't convey your own information. Secondly, you may get the answer that I like to eat fish and chicken, thus ending the topic. Maybe you will ask, which fish do you prefer, fried fish or steamed fish? Then they ask questions, and so on, and go back to the first point. Constantly asking questions puts a lot of pressure on the other side. Let's think about it. What if it's a statement? I like eating fish, such as salmon and saury. Because I had little chance to eat it when I was a child, I was very happy every time my parents took me to a restaurant for dinner. And it feels delicious visually. From this simple statement, the message itself will be passed on to the other party. Now TA knows that you are a fish lover. In TA's mind, you will unconsciously establish your identity, and this is how familiarity is generated. Secondly, this statement can also give each other a chance. Next, TA may say: What a coincidence! I also like to eat fish, especially sea fish ... and so on. Such a simple statement will lead to different topics, and you don't have to be afraid of becoming a topic terminator.

Third, talk about your family.

The topic of family is the easiest to bring out, so you can tell family things naturally without taking a memory test. You can talk about your grandparents, parents, uncles and aunts, brothers and sisters and so on. I believe you can talk about any one for three days and nights, so you don't have to worry about nothing to say. For example, you can say that my sister bullies me every time and asks me to wash her shoes every weekend. She is lazy and overbearing. After you finish, the other party can't help but want you to know what kind of person her sister is. Another advantage of talking about family is that it is the most buzzing topic, which allows you to establish close relationship with each other quickly. Because everyone has his own family, it is easy to establish close relationships with each other when we state our family members. It is reported that strangers will feel closer to you after we share interesting things about family with them.

4. Fourth, use words like "pause" instead of "hmm" and "oh".

The most important thing in conversation is quality. Try to get rid of words like this ... Even if you have the best content in the world, people will lose interest in you if there are many modal particles in your words. Moreover, these words are not very useful in themselves, and they don't contain how to content. No one likes listening to meaningless content, and concise content will make people sound more confident. Pause replaces modal particles, which makes the original slow dictation content more calm and confident.

5. Fifth, study with cold.

This move is very suitable for new friends. Cold reading assumes that you already know the other person's interests or things, such as asking the other person: What do you like to eat? In fact, you can use cold reading instead of asking questions. Look at your face. You should prefer fish to chicken, and then you will react. First, if you are wrong, he will correct you. In the second case, if you are wrong, he will ask you what to ask and what you will say. Why do you think I like fish? Do I look like a fish? In the third case, you guessed it right, and then you will get a link with her soon. I really like eating fish. how do you know I wonder how this man knows me so well. Cold reading can make you ask questions indirectly, avoid being an interviewer, keep the topic going, and if you guess correctly, your goodwill will double. Why not?