What's the effect of intimidating children?

Younger children may be really scared at first, which is like giving parents an acute specific medicine. Intimidation is very effective in a short time, and children's psychological construction is not so strong, and they will be scared to do it. But in the long run, intimidation will weaken children's sense of security, and then affect children's sense of belonging and self-confidence.

The first consequence: children become disloyal to you and are good at lying.

There are two kinds of threats, neither of which is good. If today's children are disobedient and don't eat well, when adults say, "If you are disobedient, I will hang you out", the first way is to be truly "trustworthy" like that father in Jiangsu, so that children are afraid of you and stick to you, just like being burned, leaving a scar, and then seeing the mark will have a shadow.

If this kind of parents often intimidate in thought, children will naturally be afraid to do something wrong in front of adults. When they grow up, they will learn to lie, hide, make excuses and quibble, so as to get themselves out of trouble and form the habit of lying to escape punishment. I believe this should not be what parents like.

The second consequence: children become more deceptive.

The second is "just saying". A clever child knows three times that adults are just talking casually, just like a couple breaking up when they are in a temper. When children ignore your words, this trick will soon fail, because adults have lost their principles and prestige in front of children.

This is very common. Many adults have no choice but to blurt out verbal threats. However, this is their own pride. How can they really hang children and beat them? Most of the "threats" will not be really done, leading to more and more cases in which adults ask their children to cheat in the future. After all, his experience told him that "parents are just talking."

The third consequence: the older children are very rebellious.

Many adults will want to say that children don't listen when they grow up. Now, of course, we should put pressure on them while we can still "suppress" Sure enough, when the child reaches puberty, his self-esteem becomes stronger and he contacts more people. The more you want him to go east, the more he goes west. He just wants to hit you, because he was always forced to stop his wrong behavior before, not voluntarily. A slightly sensitive child will feel that his self-esteem has been hurt and then fight back for the sake of fighting back.

Is there a long-term solution besides threatening education?

Some parents said, why does everything depend on communication? He is just a child and can't listen to what adults say! But in turn, children will feel this way. It would be rude and unreasonable for adults not to listen to me. The purpose of parents' first communication is to let their children know that to solve anything, they should start with "communication" instead of threatening others with words or physical threats.