Relay competition of cold jokes. (Happy Classroom)

1. A male deer, it walked, faster and faster, and finally it turned into a highway (deer)!!!

2. Two Tomatoes were crossing the road, and a car was passing by. One of them couldn't dodge and was crushed. The other tomato pointed at the squashed tomato and laughed: Dig hahaha, ketchup...

3. The big bad wolf said: "I'm going to eat you!!!" Guess what happened?

In the end, the big bad wolf ate the lamb.

4. The stone and the rice cake were fighting. The stone flew up and kicked the rice cake into the sea...

p>

Once upon a time, there was a pair of lovers who were privately committed to life, but the boy had to perform military service, so he made an oath with the girl, gave the girl a diamond ring, and promised to meet the girl three years later. That ring was used as a wedding ring. After three years, the girl has been waiting for the boy, but she has not been able to wait. She was so sad that she threw the diamond ring into the sea in despair and left. However, the boy has also been waiting for her. I was waiting for the girl, but the girl misunderstood the date, and it became a regret forever. The boy was heartbroken... A few years later, the boy went fishing, and guess what he caught?

Rice cake!!!

5. Are the dumplings boys or girls?

The answer is boys because the dumplings have wrappers

6. There was a duck named Xiao Huang. One day he was When the car hit him, he yelled: "Quack!" From then on, he turned into a cucumber!!

7. Matchstick suddenly felt that his head was itchy, so he reached out and scratched it. Burned himself to death...

8. Once upon a time there was a bird

He would pass by a cornfield every day

But unfortunately

One day there was a fire in that corn field

All the corn turned into popcorn

After the bird flew over...

I thought it would be next Snow, it’s so cold...

9. When will Taiwan want to be reunified?

When buying instant noodles

10. Asong and Abo chatted about nothing and told each other that time is not forgiving.

Asong: "Recalling my childhood, the happiest thing I ever had was Children's Day."

Abo: "After ten years, it's Youth Day."

A Song: "In ten years it will be Father's Day."

Abo: "In a few decades it will be Old Man's Day."

A Song: "Again In a few decades."

Abo: "Qingming Festival"

11. Soldiers: "Thirsty...thirst..."

Cao Cao: "Everyone, hold on for a while! I have been to this place before, and I remember that there is a plum forest nearby. If you walk for a while, you may be there."

Soldiers: "Oh￣￣￣￣There are plums to eat￣￣ ￣Oh￣￣￣"

Half an hour later - Cao Ren: "Lord! The expedition team found a lot of water sources!"

Cao Cao: "Hahahaha, did you hear that? ? Finally there is water to drink."

All the soldiers: "If you don't go... you must find plums..." 12. A girl was heartbroken, and I advised her: "It's hard to find a toad with two legs. There are many men with three legs!"

13. One day Xiaoqiang asked his father: "Dad, am I a stupid boy?" His father said: "Silly boy, how can you be a stupid boy? ”

14. A medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak met on the street. Why didn’t they say hello? (Assuming they can talk)

Because... ………………..

Because……………………

Because they are not familiar with each other~~~~~~~~

15. Question: How to make sparrows quiet?

Answer: Press it.

Reason: silence.

16. A college student was unfortunately caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and then asked him: "Tell me, where are you from? If you don't tell me, I will electrocute you!!!" This A college student replied to his enemy and was electrocuted to death...

He said: "I am from the TV University!"

17. A: "I will take you to a place where all girls There is no place to wear a bra."

B: "Really? Take me there!"

A: "It's in the kindergarten next door!" p>

18. Wang Xiaoya, the host of the Happy Dictionary program, interviewed an audience member live and asked: "Which female host do you admire most in your mind?" The audience said: "It's you." Wang Xiaoya asked: "Why "So?" the audience said: "Because you look a bit like Yang Lan!"

19. Do you know what color Spider-Man is?

Red, wrong!

It’s white

If you don’t believe it, read Spider Man in English: spider man (a white person)

20. Why did Xiao Ming fall down? ?

Please think twice………………………………..

Because the floor is slippery

21. After a group of animals finished the party, they rushed I went into a 7-11 convenience store to buy something. It was too noisy and the clerk beat me out. But the lamb was left alone in the store. Why?

Convenience stores are open 24 hours a day...

22. Glass cups and coffee cups were crossing the road together, and suddenly someone shouted: The car is coming!

As a result, the glass was hit by a car, but the coffee cup was fine. May I ask why?

The coffee cup has ears!

23. Yi Ma said, our company grandly launches a new product, Ma Pi No. 3, MP3 for short...

24. There are two kinds of people I hate the most:

The first is racial discrimination;

The second is black;

The third is illiterate!

25. I would like to thank Madoka Ozawa, Ran Asagaga, Ai Nagase, Ryoko Mitake, Maria Takaki, Mai Kawamoto, Hitomi Yuuki, Miyu Natsuki, Naomi Seritsu, Shiraishi, and Kudo Aoi, Koyamauchi Mayu, Kishikawa Miho, Nishida Yuki, Sawai Kiyoshi, Fujisaki Ayaka, Hayama Miyako, Inoue Chihiro, Matsumura, Yuki and Izumi Shizuka, etc., whose names I know and do not know, have appeared in my computer. Friends from foreign countries who have been deleted or are still on the computer: they accompany me through lonely nights one after another in the dead of night; they are the ones who comfort me at the right time when I am at my lowest level; When I was exhausted from playing CS, they were the ones who made me experience the smooth pleasure; when I was in a sluggish state and had no feel, they were the ones who made me energetic~

26. Now the accuracy of earthquake prediction is reliable It has improved a lot. This time there is only two words missing: it was predicted to be in "Heilongjiang", but it turned out to be in "Jiujiang"!

27. Zhang Liangying said: "The fans who admire me say - my idol is called Ying."

He Jie said: "The fans who admire me say - my idol is called Ying." "Jie"

Zhou Bichang said: "The fans who admire me say - my idol is named Chang"

Li Yuchun said: "You guys talk, I'm leaving first"

28.. Five Fuwa dolls gathered together to chat.

Beibei suggested: Let’s give ourselves a nickname, I’ll call it “Beiva”!

Jingjing: Then I’ll call you “Jingwa”!

Huanhuan: My name is "Huanwa"!

Nini: My name is "Niva"!

Yingying stood up and said: You guys chat, I have something to do, I have to leave first...

It is said that in 2058, the five Fuwa got together to chat again.

Beibei: Let’s talk about my nickname again. People respect me very much and call me “Master Beibei”!

Huanhuan: People call me "Master Huan"!

Nini: People call me "Niye"!

Yingying: People call me "Yingye"!

Jingjing stood up and said: You guys chat, I have something to do, I have to leave first...

29. The harsh winter has arrived, I decided to keep the habit of taking cold showers, but I As I was washing, I found that I had returned to my childhood appearance! ! !

30. Celery was walking and suddenly felt a pain in his stomach. Then he made a "porphyry" sound. What do you think he pulled out~~? It was Celery feces (diligence)!! !What color is celery (vegetable) feces?

Answer: yellow

Because: Qin Shihuang (celery feces is yellow)

31. There was a fat man….

Jumping from the top of the 20th floor...

The result became...

Damn fat man!!

32 .Once upon a time, there was a piece of bread, and it felt hungry, so it ate it.

Once upon a time, there was a glass of beer, and it felt thirsty, so it drank it..

Once upon a time, there was A virgin, she felt tired, so she fell asleep...

33. Who are human ancestors?

It is peanuts because peanut kernels~~~

34.Which of the ancient figures is considered a white-collar worker?

Meng Mu moved three times (thousands)

35. Zhang Fei: "Don't leave, old thief!"

Yan Yan: "Thief with ring eyes! Dismount and accept Die!"

Police car: "Listen, two thieves~~~You are surrounded~~~ Put down your weapons..."

36. Ants from the Himalayas How did you die after falling?

Answer: Starved to death. Because it is too light, it takes a long time to float down...

37. The world's most KB diary

Old Bear was about to write a diary when he found that the diary had been used up and he wanted to go out I bought another book and came back to write it, but it was already twelve o'clock in the evening. But he still rode his bicycle and searched on the dark street. After searching for a long time, he finally found a bookstore and went in before it closed. There was a diary he liked very much, so he asked his boss how much it cost.

The boss said in a low voice: "This is imported, priced at 70 yuan..."

Old Xiong said: "It's so expensive, but I only brought 50 yuan with me. ."

The boss said: "It doesn't matter, just give me 50 yuan."

Old Xiong said happily: "Thank you, boss."

Boss. Then he said in a very low and sinister voice: "When you buy it back, be sure not to turn to the last page, otherwise something terrible will happen. Don't blame me for not warning you!"

Old Bear said: "Well, I know."

Old Bear bought the diary and took it home. He unpacked it and put it on the table in front of the window in the room.

At this time, he wanted to take a bath first and then come out to write in the diary...

After taking a bath, Lao Xiong found that the window in front of the desk had been opened, and the wind blew open the diary page by page... ...When the wind was about to reach the last page, Old Bear stepped forward to stop it, but it was too late. The last page was still blown away by the wind

What happened to KB...I saw Old Bear screaming. There was a sound, because he saw the last page that said:

(Please scroll down)

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……………..pull again…

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Continue to pull...

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. Almost, pull a little more...

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That’s it, I need to pull it a little bit at the end...

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The last page says——- Pricing: 3 yuan

38. A peach While walking on the road, I suddenly said, "My heart is so hard!"

A walnut was walking on the road. As he walked, he suddenly said, "My face is so thick!"

A Coke can was walking on the road. I felt very bored while walking, and suddenly I said, I feel so coke!

A heater was walking on the road and helped passers-by. As I was walking, I suddenly said, "I am so enthusiastic!"

A key was walking on the road, and he suddenly said, "I am Qu Yuan!" I will go up and down and ask for a lock!

An electric meter was walking on the road. As I was walking, I suddenly said, "I am a scholar!" People are searching for him thousands of times!

A tadpole was walking on the road. As he walked, he met another tadpole. As he walked, he suddenly said, "We are not QQ!"

A Hawthorn got married and was walking on the road. As he was walking, he suddenly said, "My face is so red!"

A hawthorn was walking on the road after getting divorced. As he was walking, he suddenly said, "My heart is so sad!"

A Hawthorn got remarried and was walking on the road. As he was walking, he suddenly said, "I have a baby in my belly!"

A tea bag was walking on the road. As I was walking, I suddenly said, I really want to be soaked!

I was walking on the road with a stuffed dumpling. As I walked, I suddenly said, I really want to be dumpled!

A lighter was walking on the road. As he was walking, he suddenly said, "My stomach is full of anger and I want to get angry!"

A cockroach was walking on the road. As he walked, he suddenly said, "I am strong!"

A thimble was walking on the road. As he walked, he suddenly said, "I'm thimble!"

An ice cream man was walking on the road. As he walked, he suddenly said, "I'm cold!"

A spider was walking on the road. As he walked, he suddenly said, I still want to crawl on the web!

A fish was walking on the road and suddenly said, "I like diving every day!"

A Guan Yu was walking on the road. As he walked, he suddenly said, "I am riding a thousand miles alone!"

An eagle was walking on the road. As he walked, he met a bear. As he walked, he suddenly said, "We are playing the role of eagle and bear!"

A compass was walking on the road. As I walked, I suddenly said, why can’t I find north?

An earthworm was walking on the road. As he walked, he suddenly said, "Why can't I find my legs?"

39. Once upon a time, Zhang Simmons closed her eyes and meditated, and suddenly felt that something was missing.

While thinking about it, she heard the doorbell ring. When she opened the door, she saw that it was an electric blanket. After returning from the date,

Simmons hugged the electric blanket and said:

Brother~~You are back, I am so cold~~~