Tell me about that couple.

Recently, a friend's parents entrusted me with 1000 instructions: I must help my friend find a partner as soon as possible, even if I am older. I'm mainly worried about a friend, a woman with a child, being alone, and being alone is really sad.

My friend is a beautiful middle-aged woman, mature and steady, virtuous and kind, proficient in business and enthusiastic about others. She is a rare intellectual beauty. Going to the hall and going to the kitchen, the top leader inside and outside, the marriage is always unstable. They have lived together with five men since they divorced because their husband had an affair (they never got a marriage certificate), but they are still alone with their unmarried daughter, which is really worrying.

I think: My friend is seriously injured in the marriage. At that time, my husband worked in the municipal tax department and his career was booming. His rank is small and his income is considerable. When he went out, he was held in the crowd and flattered by some flatterers. Naturally, he thought that he would enjoy such treatment after returning to China. Some people bring shoes when they go in, others bring clothes when they go out, hot tea and meals are delivered in time, and beds are made and massaged. Everything is warm and thoughtful. He regards his home as a hotel. And my friend is also a professional woman and a gynecologist with excellent medical skills. She has to go to work on time every day, and the task is quite arduous. I am very tired at the end of the day, and my back aches and my legs hurt. I need to rest and adjust when I go home. Naturally, it can't meet her husband's expanding physical and psychological needs. As a result, the contradiction between the two is becoming more and more acute. After a while, my husband actually took the woman home directly and said to his friends face to face: Let's divorce! I want to marry her! It turned out that the husband found himself a yellow flower girl without a job, and prepared to let her be his full-time wife and serve him every day as his life. My friend has no choice but to get a divorce. She left home for six years with her daughter legally awarded to her ex-husband, and lived in a humble room allocated by her unit. The mother and daughter have lived together for more than ten years.

After more than ten years, friends have been in the process of looking for separation and integration. Looking for the ideal partner with a broken heart, but every time I end up hurting each other again. Over the years, she spent an average of no more than two years of her life with every man, except for injury, sadness and even despair.

Through the experience of friends and my 20-year married life, I have summarized the experiences of the following couples for your reference.

Husband and wife are actually a partner in our life. Whether this companion can accompany you all the time depends on the degree of mutual understanding. Getting to know each other is the first step. The key is whether you can cater to each other's habits, cooperate with each other and be patient. He (she) is just your companion and will never be you. He (she) has his (her) personality, hobbies and temperament, and he (she) has his (her) growing environment, outlook on life and values. Although in some ways, only two people with the same cognition can become husband and wife, with the extension of life time, they will get to know each other more and more, whether physically or psychologically, and get closer and closer, but no matter how close they are, they will never completely overlap, so you can't think about replacing each other with your own way of thinking and behavior. Because he (she) has his own mind, you don't need to think and make decisions for him (her). And if you do everything instead of him (her), it is not a concern for him (her), but a complete neglect of his (her) existence and a great disrespect for his (her) personality. This is not love, but spiritual plunder.

Since they are companions, they are people along the way. Along the way, you should keep pace with each other. If one walks fast and the other walks slowly, the people behind will naturally be left behind, and the people in front may meet new companions. In this case, there will be a crisis in marriage. Therefore, both husband and wife should always be consistent psychologically and spiritually in their careers, and the difference should not be too great. In the relationship between husband and wife, distance can not only produce beauty, but also cause estrangement. The farther away, the greater the possibility of divorce. Even to maintain the relationship between husband and wife for children and other reasons, it must be the separation of morality and appearance, which is harmful and painful to both sides and consumes each other's lives meaningless. Like a friend's ex-husband, asking a friend to serve him like a housewife or even a hotel waiter, let him be above himself, and let his wife leave the housework that belongs to two people to her like a slave, which not only loses the minimum criterion of equality between men and women in the relationship between husband and wife, but also must be based on sacrificing her career. In this case, even if it seems that the husband's needs are met at one time, the family relationship can be eased and maintained, but it will be hidden in the husband-wife relationship for a long time.

A companion is also a partner. In addition to being familiar with each other's habits, he should also tolerate each other. Forgive people more than life. Everyone is a combination of advantages and disadvantages. There is no one in the world who has no shortcomings and can't make mistakes. If husband and wife want to live together, they will face many unpredictable difficulties and setbacks on the road of life. First, they must accept each other's shortcomings and tolerate each other's mistakes. Couples like "flying separately in the face of disaster" can enjoy themselves, but couples who can't share difficulties are couples who can't tolerate each other or are defects and mistakes in their lives, so naturally they won't be together for life. When you encounter some difficulties, you will run away. I am a loser in love and life. Whoever I stay with will eventually break up. The reason why my friends change partners frequently is that once bitten, twice shy. The shadow of divorce has been bothering her and has become a sore spot in her life. Later, no matter who you associate with, you will always feel bad, and you will compare with your ex-husband intentionally or unintentionally, and compare with the advantages of your ex-husband. Even if you accept the other person, it is because the other person showed his best side from the beginning, so the friend saw the best side and accepted the best side. When we really live together, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea are trivial things, and slowly the other party exposes its hidden shortcomings. At this time, friends began to look at each other critically. What they see from each other is his shortcomings, even magnifying each other's shortcomings, and they can't tolerate each other's shortcomings, so marriage has always been a failure.

To build a good family, husband and wife must be United. It is often said that brothers have the same interests, so do husband and wife. Husband and wife jointly contribute to family building, contribute a kind of wisdom and assume a responsibility. Why can't home improvement flourish? Husband and wife, to some extent, are also interests * * * The same body is a partner of interests, and one glory is all lost. No matter which side's cooperation is broken, it will inevitably affect the interests of the same body. If the two sides can tide over the difficulties and share the responsibilities at this time, it is possible to continue the cooperative relationship; If one of the two parties resents the other party for giving up the other party or shirking responsibility and complaining to each other without thinking of remedial measures, this cooperative relationship will cease to exist. Some even turned against each other and went to jail to commit crimes, which is a family tragedy and emotional injustice.

Companions should care for each other, take care of each other and be loyal to each other in order to be together for life. When one party needs help, love and care, the other party fails to pay due attention and care, either leaving the other party behind or letting the other party fall down, and the companion cannot accompany him. Therefore, taking care of your partner means taking care of yourself and not letting yourself be lonely. You don't abandon your partner, and your partner won't abandon you. In this way, you will really find a loyal partner who will accompany you for life. People in China pay attention to reciprocity, and you will be loyal to them. If you find a better companion on the road and abandon the old one, then the better companion on the road ahead may also attract your new companion and let him or her abandon you. The best way is to make yourself more and more attractive and powerful, so that the other person can't live without you. This is the best way to keep the relationship fresh. Loyalty is a moral norm, which is forced and restrained, while preservation is attracted voluntarily. Which is lighter, which is right and which is wrong, is clear at a glance.

Peer should trust each other more. Going together means giving everything to each other, including your own life, packing together and starting together. As the saying goes, there is no doubt about employing people. This is the standard and method for leaders to choose and employ people, and it is the criterion for mutual trust and support among partners in their work. Couples should do this more often. When you choose him (her) without hesitation, it shows that you appreciate him (her), accept him (her) and trust him (her). Why do you question him (her) in real life? Question his (her) character? Question his or her loyalty? In fact, the fundamental reason for questioning each other is that they have lost confidence. You should believe in your charm and your own vision, and believe that there are still many good men (good women) in this world. A few people who are morally bankrupt and disloyal will not affect the overall situation. How can you be so unlucky to meet them? Don't be suspicious and worry about nothing. Especially women. If you have time, follow me, visit beauty salons, recharge your batteries, cook more, and take care of your children. Are you afraid that if you build a warm nest, men will not go home? !

From this, I draw the following conclusion: husband and wife are the most faithful partners on the road of life. Husband and wife should care for each other, tolerate each other, help and support each other, be more loyal and trust each other. There should be responsibilities between husband and wife, especially men.

Writing this article only hopes that all lovers in the world are good; May the husband and wife in the world be each other's lifelong companions, and they will never leave, no matter what the situation.