Selected 2 1 paragraph funny that lipstick is inserted directly into the nostrils, and the picture is so beautiful that I saw it …

1, had a big fight with my wife, urinated in the bathroom at night, and when I saw a thread on my newly bought pants, I kept pulling it by hand. When I saw scissors on the basin, I brought them to be cut. This is when my wife suddenly rushed over and grabbed my hand and cried, "I was wrong, but I can't do it." What are you doing? "

The wicked witch enchanted the prince. The prince can only say one sentence a year. The prince has a beloved girl. Since then, the prince has been silent for three years just to tell the girl that I love you. Three years later, the prince rushed to break the door and tripped over the threshold. The prince said, "Hey, lie in the trough."

3. A batch of primary school Chinese test papers require "you ... you ... and ..." to make sentences. A student wrote: Yesterday I went to my grandma's house, and grandma brought me a chicken leg. After eating, I asked my grandmother if there were any more. Grandma replied: "Yes, yes!" "

At the door of the operating room, the sweaty doctor said to his family, "Sorry, we tried our best!" Family members heard the news and cried; "Really ... are you really powerless?" The doctor shook his head and sighed, "Your daughter is so fat that we really can't move on the operating table."

Today, I took a bus. A girl put on makeup and lipstick. Suddenly the bus bumped, and lipstick was inserted directly into her nose. This painting is so beautiful that I dare not look at it. ...

6. Strangely enough, I told my mother that I was almost touched on the bus yesterday. My mother was very worried and said to me, "Your leg hair is so long that you didn't stab anyone, did you?"

7. Pig Bajie teased Chang 'e, and the Jade Emperor knew that he was angry, so he asked Tai Shang Lao Jun: What should I do about this? Grandfather: Marshal Tian Peng knows the law and breaks the law, and he deserves it! The Jade Emperor sighed: Hey! Be a pig! Result. . .

8. I'm not fat, it's swelling caused by allergies to life. When we were young, we were all very happy, because at that time, we were not so ugly and poor. When people are forced to do it, they can do anything except math problems.

9. Now you are naive twice, naive twice. The boyfriend is good-looking and has a nice voice. He is very kind to me. The only bad thing about him is that he hasn't found me yet.

10, girlfriends have big heads and little hair, but they just like to comb a tall ball head. Once on the bus, the little loli next to her suddenly shouted, "Mom, look, it's a gourd doll!" " "

1 1. In the past, I had no money, but I was happy every day. It's different now. Not only do I have no money, but I am also unhappy. What is even more irritating is that some people say that I definitely have no money to go out to play on May Day. I sat at home laughing and thinking all morning ... who let the cat out of the bag!

12. When I was a child, I lived near chengdu-kunming railway and often played around with my friends. Whenever the train comes, we run after it. Sometimes the train will spray water and fog all over us. We are also very happy, and we will open our mouths to pick it up as soon as we have time. Later, I knew what it was, and every time I thought about it, my childhood memories were destroyed.

13, a sister paper for various reasons, thirty years old, not married, her father: "Girls can't get married!" "Her mother:" Why don't you become a monk, Emei or Shaolin Temple? "Her father said," There are many men in Shaolin Temple! " "

14, advice when least heeded! 1. If you are a man, please don't have a dog. If you have a dog, don't have a dog that can jump into bed. If your dog can jump on the bed, you shouldn't sleep naked. If you really like sleeping naked, don't feed sausages to dogs.

15, Xiaoming is a junior, but he still has no girlfriend. Egged on by his dormitory buddies, he decided to go after a girl he had long admired. One day, he saw the girl walking alone on the playground and followed her. Xiao Ming is very anxious because he doesn't know how to speak. Seeing the girl getting farther and farther away from him, he had to pick up something from the ground and catch up and say, "Miss, did you drop this brick?"

16, it's funny, it's a fine day today, suitable for fighting, more suitable for kissing and hugging. The class teacher transferred the boys to a table and the girls to a table to prevent puppy love. In fact, he didn't realize the more serious problem.

17, shopping with three classmates, a counter assistant kept watching us laugh, making our hearts tremble, so he went forward and asked, "What are you laughing at?" The salesman said, "A thief just took out your mobile phone, looked at it and probably thought it was too old. He shook his head and put it back in your pocket! " "

18, once, the class teacher asked for a long vacation, and the substitute teacher said that the class teacher was hit by a car and fractured. So the monitor asked the whole class to pay for a wheelchair for the teacher. I don't have enough money. I seem to have bought a used car. Several class cadres carried wheelchairs to the teacher's house, knocked at the door, and then came out to open the door with plaster in their hands. ...

19, my deskmate argued with me, and I was at a disadvantage for a while. In desperation, I got up and shouted, "You talk nonsense, I'm not stupid!" " Fortunately, I am ugly and have never experienced your love and hate.

20. One day, a villager chatted with the village head and said; "Village head, they all say you can't read numbers. Is it true? " The village chief is in a hurry. He held out three fingers and said, "I'll give you five words, all of which are nonsense." .

2 1. My husband took his 6-year-old son to learn Taekwondo. After studying for a long time, when he got home, his son said to me, "Mom, remember to bow before fighting with dad!" " I am speechless.