How to comfort others correctly

Universal comfort method

How to comfort others in time?

Is this how you comfort others? "It's okay, it will pass" is a trivial matter, don't take it to heart. "Nothing, don't cry." In fact, such words not only did not make the other party feel better, but made people feel perfunctory and insincere.

Then how can we really comfort others and make them feel warm?

From a psychological point of view, it can be divided into the following four steps:

1.*** Love.

2. Listen.

3. tour guide.

Solve it.

self-consolation

1. When a person is sad, what TA needs most is to be concerned and understood. Therefore, the first thing we should do is to put ourselves in the other person's shoes, express our feelings and show empathy, which will make the other person feel concerned and taken care of.

For example:

"I know you are particularly wronged now. I know very well that if you feel too bad, cry. It doesn't matter, I will accompany you. " I know you are very productive now, really, you are not easy. "

2. Listening When a person is in a negative mood, TA really needs an emotional outlet, so what you have to do at this time is quiet listening and warm companionship. Remember not to give advice blindly at this time. Everyone's life experience and growing environment are different, so they have different views on one thing. What TA needs now is not your advice, but someone to talk to.

For example:

"You haven't been in a good state recently. Can you tell me what happened?" , "if it really hurts, just cry. It doesn't matter, I am here with you. "

3. Guide, until the other person's emotions are effectively alleviated, it will begin to calm down. At this time, you can slowly guide TA, let TA tell the crux of his heart and plan for the future. You can give TA some positive support and suggestions, let TA see the possibility of solving problems and ignite the expectation for the future.

For example:

"What are you going to do next?" I think you are right. You will meet better people.

Finally, talk about solving the problem. The best comfort is to solve practical problems. No matter how good it sounds, there is no more powerful action. Don't ask me how I can help. "Pointing at each other's crux, help will come more directly.

For example, "You have been under too much pressure recently. Let's go mountain climbing at the weekend, or go shopping in the cinema. " "Don't worry, I have a friend who is a lawyer. I will help you to discuss with him. "