The best tutor: Dad loves mom, mom loves dad - Thoughts after reading "Hello, Child"

After seeing this paragraph, I instantly understood how picky my son was about me last night.

My son has been staying at his grandma’s house for a week, and last night he said he wanted to go home and buy some mutton skewers. After we finished our homework, we went to the restaurant in the neighboring village. Because we arrived early, the stalls had not yet been opened. And because the boss was my husband’s comrade, so while we were waiting, we and the boss’ landlord helped him set up the tables and chairs.

After the mutton kebabs were grilled and we were leaving, the boss saw a table that was crooked. As he set the table, he said with a smile: "I don't want this old man to set the table. I have to set it every day when I come here. Once I set it, one will be ruined."

I smiled casually and said: "Oh, I set this up, not him." My original intention was to tell him the truth because I was afraid that the boss would blame his landlord for breaking the table.

My son said: "That sentence must mean that the landlord has broken the table. Why do you want to explain it?"

I retorted: "If you don't say it, If it really goes wrong, wouldn’t you blame someone else?”

“Do you think that’s what they said?”

At this moment, I was thinking: Why did he tell his father? So similar, why do you always like to find fault? So he said impatiently: "Okay, okay, I'll follow you out from now on. I don't dare to say anything anymore. You're right, okay!"

"I finally know why my dad always follows You had a quarrel!”

This sentence shocked me. I always knew that this sentence would be inherited in the family, but I didn’t expect that he would inherit it so unexpectedly!

If you get married in the future and often speak so harshly to your lover, who can bear it?

Calm down and think about it: He has been criticized and criticized by his parents in his childhood. How can he treat others peacefully? For his father, I tried my best. I must pay attention to myself and give him as much tolerance and understanding as possible.

Today in the book "Hello, Child", I saw a paragraph at the beginning of the article. I suddenly understood: Although my father was wrong in being picky, what had I done? It’s not just blaming, picking on, and complaining endlessly about your children.

When our husband and wife have conflicts, I treat my child as an emotional trash can and always talk to him. Maybe I want to win his support, maybe I want to tell him: Our quarrels are all your dad's fault. Mom is not wrong...

Thinking about it now, it is really ridiculous! Not only did it not help our marital issues, it also caused disharmony in their father-son relationship. It even made him use the same behavior as his father to satisfy his inner desire to connect with his father.

I always thought this sentence was meant for my father. First, my father must love my mother, and then my mother can love my father. So when I saw this sentence, I couldn't wait to tell his father, hoping that he would set an example.

His noncommittal gave me an excuse not to appreciate and praise him, so there was no love, no appreciation, and no cooperation between the two of us. Instead, there were only quarrels, cold wars, mutual complaints, and mutual accusations. .

The teacher has been saying: Whoever suffers changes.

Now that I think about it, I, who have studied psychology for two years, cannot change myself and appreciate and respect him in front of children. How can I hold him to high standards?

After all, in my original family, I, like him, were poor people who had never received any care. How can you have the strength to love others if you have never received love?

After studying, I usually intentionally tell my children that although dad has shortcomings, he also has many advantages, such as being filial to his parents, being caring, and being clever...

I read this article "Parents' Cooperation Principles" today. I think I should change my statement and the context in which I speak. If you say it in front of your father, the effect may be better.

Since Dad doesn’t have the ability to love others yet, let me change first and be a good leader for him and the children.

For example, when a child does well in math, I can also say: If you are so good at math, you must have inherited your father’s IQ.

For example, if he has cooked a meal, I can also express it this way: Son, it’s really good, I can catch up with your father’s cooking.

For example, when he goes out to meet acquaintances, he greets them warmly. I should say: This is like your father, warm and polite...

Such a thing that kills two birds with one stone must be You might want to give it a try!