Interesting English essay

A mother mouse took her child out for a walk. Suddenly, she found a cat crouching behind a bush. She looked at the cat and the cat looked at the mouse.

Mother mouse cried fiercely, "woof, woof, woof!" " The cat was so scared that it ran for its life.

Mother mouse turned to her children and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"

A mother mouse took her child out for a walk. Suddenly, she saw a cat waiting in the bushes.

Mother mouse shouted at the cat, "Woof, woof, woof". The cat was so scared that it ran away as hard as it could.

The mother mouse turned to her child and said proudly, "Now you know the importance of a foreign language."

Caught a cold

In the match, the boxer shook his fist violently, but missed his opponent.

"How did I do?" At the end of a round, he asked the coach.

"Well, if you go on like this," replied the coach, "he may feel the wind and catch a cold."

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1, two bills

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, and the other is a sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I can't point it out, but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow, and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

Two birds

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a sparrow. Who can point out which is the swallow and which is the sparrow?

Student: I can't point it out, but I know the answer

Teacher: Please talk about it.

Student: The sparrow is next to the swallow, and the swallow is next to the sparrow.

2. Fishing nets

"Can you tell me what fishing nets are made of, Ann?"

"Many small holes tied together with ropes," the little girl replied.

fishnet

"Ann, can you tell me what the fishing net is made of?" The teacher asked.

"Fishing nets are made of many small holes tied together with ropes," the little girl replied.

3. New teacher

George came back from school on September 1st.

"George, what do you think of your new teacher?" His mother asked.

"Mom, I don't like her because she said that three plus three equals six, and then she said that two plus four equals six ..."

New teacher

On September 1 day, George came home from school.

George, do you like your new teacher? Mom asked.

"Mom, I don't like it, because she said that three plus three equals six, and later she said that two plus four equals six."

4. Physical examination

In a physics exam, Nick finished the first question quickly, while his classmates were still thinking hard.

The question is: when it thunders, why do we see lightning first and then hear thunder?

Nick's answer is: because our eyes are in front of our ears.

Physics examination

In a physics exam, while the students were still thinking hard, Nick quickly answered the first question.

The question is: Why do we always see the lightning first and then hear the thunder when it thunders?

Nick's answer is: because the eyes are in front and the ears are behind.

You look like my wife.

A drunken man walked into a bar, stared at the only woman sitting in the bar for a while, then went over and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him foolishly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her. "

"You useless, unbearable, poor, useless drunkard!" She screamed.

"Interesting," he muttered. "You even sound just like her."

6. I can use a little money

Dear father,

I'm really great. I am trying to make friends and study. All my money means not thinking about anything I need. If you like, you can give me a card, a card I hope to hear from you.

Love,

Your $ TERM on.

After receiving his son's letter, the father wrote back immediately.

Dear son,

I know astronomy, economics and oceanography are enough to keep a top student busy. Don't forget that the pursuit of knowledge is a lofty task, and you can never learn enough.

Love,

dad

7. Two thousand five hundred! "

A local auction was in full swing when the auctioneer suddenly announced, "A gentleman in this room lost a wallet with 10000 dollars. If the property is returned to the original owner, he will pay a reward of $2,000. "

There was silence for a while, and then there was a shout from the back of the room, "2500!" "

8. Is John listening?

Teacher: John, why don't you listen?

John: But, teacher, I'm listening!

Teacher: If you are listening, tell me what I said.

John: You said, "John, why don't you listen?"

9. A key to success

One day, a father educated his son and said, "The key to your success is keeping your word and being smart.

Once you make a promise to someone, you must carry it out no matter what happens. This is called' keeping promises'.

"What is smart? His son asked.

"Being smart means that you will never make such a promise," my father replied.

10. I always do this.

Two drivers stopped head-on on a bridge, which was too narrow for their cars to pass.

"I will never support an idiot." A driver said angrily.

"I always do." The other replied when shifting to reverse gear.

1 1. He asked me to see you.

Doctor: Who did you consult about your illness before you came to see me?

Patient: Only the pharmacist around the corner.

Doctor: What absurd advice did he give you?

Patient: He asked me to see you!

12. How are you?

How old are you? Why is it always you?

13. If someone studies English hard, he will achieve something.

One day, I accidentally collided with a foreigner in the street.

I'm really sorry.

The foreigner replied, I'm sorry, too.

Hearing this, someone added: I'm sorry, three.

The foreigner was puzzled and asked, What are you sorry for?

Some people have no choice but to say, I'm sorry.

14. A 747 plane was on its way across the Atlantic when the captain's voice came from the loudspeaker: "Attention, passengers. We lost one engine, but we can definitely use the remaining three to get to London. Unfortunately, we will be one hour late. "

After a while, the passengers heard the captain's voice again. "Guess what, guys. We just lost the third engine, but please rest assured that we can fly with only one engine. We will arrive in London three hours late. "

At this point, a passenger became very angry. "For God's sake," he shouted, "if we lose another engine, we will stay here all night!"

There is only one engine left.

A 747 passenger plane was crossing the Atlantic when the captain's voice came from the loudspeaker: "Attention, passengers, one of our four engines is missing. But the remaining three engines will take us to London. It's just that we will be an hour late. " After a while, the passengers heard the captain's voice again: "Ladies and gentlemen, guess what? We just lost the third engine. But please believe me. We can fly with only one engine, but it will be three hours late. " Just then, a passenger said angrily, "For God's sake, if we lose another engine, we will stay in the sky all night."

15.

"Doctor," she cried, skipping into the room, "I want you to tell me frankly what's wrong with me."

He looked at her from head to toe. "Madam," he said at last, "I have only three things to tell you. First, you need to lose nearly 50 pounds. Secondly, if you use one tenth of rouge and lipstick, your beauty will be improved. Third, I am an artist-the doctor lives downstairs. "

The doctor lives downstairs.

"Doctor," she shouted after rushing into the house.

"I want you to tell me frankly what happened to me."

He looked at her from head to toe, and then loudly said, "Madam, I have three things to tell you." First of all, you need to lose about 50 pounds; Secondly, if you use one tenth of rouge and lipstick, your beauty will change. Third, I am a painter-the doctor lives downstairs. "

16. One night, I drove my husband's car to the shopping center.

When I came back, I noticed that his car was covered with dust, so I cleaned it up. When I finally entered the house, I called out. "The woman who loves you the most in the world just wiped your headlights and windshield."

The husband looked up and said, "Is mom here?"

Which woman?

One night, I drove my husband's car to go shopping. When I came back, I found the car was covered with dust, so I scrubbed it for a while. When I finally entered the room, I shouted, "The woman who loves you the most in the world just scrubbed your headlights and windshield."

The husband looked up and said, "Is mom here?"

17.

Give some advice to people who are about to retire. If you are only 65 years old, never move to a retirement community. Everyone else is in their 70s, 80s or 90s. So, when something needs to be moved, lifted or loaded, they will shout, "Take the child away."

Advice for "young people"

Here I want to give some advice to those who are about to retire. If you are only 65 years old,

Never go to a retirement community. Because everyone there is seventy or eighty years old or eighty or ninety years old. Whenever they want to move things, lift things or load things, they shout, "Let the little one do it."

18.

The notorious cheapskate finally decided to invite a guest. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Go up to 5 meters and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door opens, push it with your foot. "

"Why use my elbows and feet?"

"Oh, dear," he replied, "you won't come empty-handed, will you?"

The miser's treat.

A notorious miser finally decided to invite a guest. Explaining to a friend how to find his home, he said, "You go up to the fifth floor, find the middle door, and then ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door opens, push it with your feet.

"Why use my elbows and feet?"

"Your hand has been taken as a gift. God, you won't come empty-handed, will you? " The miser replied.

19.

Waiter, this lobster has only one paw.

-I'm sorry, sir. It must be fighting.

-Well, then bring me the winner.

Give me the winner.

Waiter, this lobster has only one paw.

Sorry, sir, but this one must have been in a fight.

Oh, then give me the winner.

20.

Mrs. Brown: Oh, dear, I have lost my beloved dog!

Mrs Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the newspaper!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use. My little dog can't read.

My dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh,

Honey, I lost my precious puppy!

Mrs Smith: But you should put an advertisement in the newspaper!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use. My puppy can't read. "

2 1.

Shortly after an old lady from China came back from visiting her daughter in the United States, she went to a city bank to deposit the dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk carefully checked every bill to see if it was true. This made the old lady impatient.

Finally, she couldn't hold on any longer and said. "Believe me, Sir, believe in money. They are real dollars. They are directly from the United States. "

They were brought directly from America.

An old lady from China came back from visiting her daughter in the United States and went to a city bank to deposit the dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the bank clerk carefully checked every banknote to see if it was fake.

This made the old woman very impatient. Finally, she couldn't help saying, "Trust me, sir, and please trust these bills, too. These are real dollars, and they are brought directly from the United States. "

22.

He is really a big shot.

-My uncle has 1000 people.

-He's really something. What does he do?

-The maintenance man in the cemetery.

He is really a big shot.

There are 1000 people under my uncle.

-He's really a big shot. What do you do?

Graveyard keeper.

23.

What's the difference between monkeys and fleas?

A: Monkeys can have fleas, but fleas cannot have monkeys.

What's the difference between monkeys and fleas? You may directly think that they are a big one and a small one. But besides, monkeys can have fleas, but fleas can't have monkeys. Is this an interesting answer?

Q: How can you irritate a farmer best?

Step on his corn?

If you step on a farmer's corn or grain, he will definitely get angry; And if you step on the corns of farmers' feet, they will be more angry. Corn can refer to both "corn/grain" and "corn".

Q: What is the strongest creature in the world?

A: Snails. It carries the house on its back.

Because snails always carry a house on their backs, it is not surprising that snails are the strongest creatures in the world. What did you say?/Sorry?

Q: What do people do in watch factories?

They make faces all day.

When you see this sentence, don't think that people who work in a watch factory make faces all day! Because in addition to this meaning, it can be literally understood as making a clock face.

Q: How to stop sleepwalkers from walking in their sleep?

Keep him awake.

How can we stop sleepwalkers from walking in their sleep? The easiest way is not to let him sleep. Although this is not a treatment, if the sleepwalker is awake, he will not sleepwalk.

24.

A girl went to the priest and confessed her sins.

Girl: Father, I am guilty.

Missionary: What did you do, little girl?

Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a son of a bitch.

Missionary: Why? What did he do to you?

Girl: He touched my chest.

Preacher: You mean like this? (That guy did it. )

Girl: (a little shy to touch) Yes.

Priest: There is no reason to call him that.

Girl: But he also took off my clothes.

Preacher: You mean like this? He did it again. )

Girl: Yes, that's what he did.

Priest: That's still no reason to call him that.

Girl: He put his "What Do You Know" in my "What Do You Know" ...

Preacher: (evil laughter) ...) You mean like this? (Do you know)

Girl: (a few minutes later ...) Alas ... Yes, that's what he did. ...

Priest: My dear girl, there is still no reason to call him A. ...

Girl: But he has AIDS! !

Preacher: That son of a bitch! ! !