Talk about your impression of Van Gogh.

To tell the truth, before my friend asked me to see my beloved Van Gogh, my impression of Van Gogh was still on the impressionist painter, and I knew little about other famous paintings such as Sunflower and Starry Sky.

I think if I didn't love Van Gogh and watch Van Gogh's Biography, I would know him so well. Even my good friend, whose postgraduate direction is film and television director, doesn't know much more than I do, so compared with most moviegoers who really love Van Gogh, we are people outside the fence, because a movie accidentally broke into the world of painting genius.

This kind of viewing experience is very special, both in presentation and narration. In particular, every frame of the film is an oil painting, which took 125 artists five years to create. This is the first time in the world. As a love letter to Van Gogh, this way of presentation should be the most suitable for him.

The film begins with the letter left by Amanda, the son of the postmaster, one year after Van Gogh's death, and ends with Amanda copying Van Gogh's letter, forming an interlocking and progressive Rashomon narrative. The film follows Amanda's perspective and unfolds an unforgettable picture through the contact with people related to Van Gogh. Everyone has their own words, which has paved a confusing veil for Van Gogh's death.

While we are still racking our brains for whether Van Gogh committed suicide or homicide, and wondering whether each narrator has evaluated the authenticity of the words, Margaret's words woke Amanda who was struggling to find out the cause of Van Gogh's death and us who were watching the movie. "Van Gogh is dead. You care about how he died, but who cares about his living life?"

Yes, for an artist, apart from his world-famous paintings, people are most interested in his anecdotes and suspicious ways of death, but it doesn't seem that important what kind of person he is.

In my opinion, he is undoubtedly a genius in artistic creation, but in life, he is an extremely loveless person, and his loneliness penetrates deeply into the bone marrow and melts into the blood, just as Dr. Gascher commented on his creation. "As soon as he gets the canvas, he will be full of stars, surrounded by dazzling stars, which is bottomless emptiness and loneliness."

What bothers me most is the boatman's description of his painting experience. Van Gogh painted quietly by the river. When he stopped to think, he turned around and saw a crow pecking at his lunch. He didn't drive the crow away at once, but his eyes were full of tenderness and he smiled quietly at it.

Even crows who steal food can make him so happy. This man must be very lonely.

If you want to explore Van Gogh's lonely personality factors, you should go back to your childhood experience. Before he was born, his parents gave birth to a boy, but the child died, which became the eternal pain in Van Gogh's mother's heart. After Van Gogh was born, his family named his dead brother Vincent, but it didn't bring him the happy childhood he deserved, and it was replaced by his mother's indifference and disgust.

When he tried to hold his mother's hand and keep up with her step by step, her mother was so cold that she left him outside the high fence door. He silently bowed his head and felt extremely wronged.

In the eyes of young Vincent, he is not as cold as a tombstone. The lack of love is fatal to a child, who has become a dispensable substitute for Van Gogh's family.

What kind of experience will it be when a person can't find his own value or even live in this world as another person? Alone, questioning the meaning of living over and over again? I can't understand that hellish experience and mentality, but we can get a glimpse from the letter he wrote to Theo when he first set foot on the road of art, "I will never have a place in this society, a humblest person."

It can be seen that the loveless childhood brought Van Gogh endless inferiority and pain as an adult. However, great people always have something to be great about. The second half of this sentence reads, "Even so, one day, I will show the world my vision and yearning for life with my paintings."

Fortunately, he has dreams in his heart and light in his eyes. Even if he is not accommodated by his parents, even if he is expelled by others, even if he is bullied by children, as long as he picks up the brush, he will be immersed in his own world, where he is a dazzling star and the king of controlling colors. He said, "Only painting can express my thoughts."

As a child, he is unlucky, but as a painter, he is also lucky. He once said that I appreciate it, and the excerpt is as follows:

"When I draw a sun, I want people to feel that it is spinning at an amazing speed and emitting terrible light and heat waves.

When I draw a wheat field, I want people to feel that wheat is moving towards the final maturity and flowering.

When I draw an apple tree, I hope people can feel that the juice in the apple is spreading on the skin of the apple, and the seeds in the core are trying to bear fruit.

When I paint a person, I paint his turbulent life.

If there is nothing infinite, profound and real in my life, I will no longer be attached to this world. "

Even though the evil world hurt him mercilessly and the indifferent people mocked him mercilessly, he still had the greatest tolerance and love for the world, sketched it with a brush and presented it with colorful pigments with unparalleled talent.

I saw a gentle light floating in his heart, like a child, pure and transparent, which is the most precious place. So at the end of the film, with the music of Starry Night and Starry Sky, Van Gogh slowly turned back from the center of the picture, making so many people cry.

The treasure hidden in my heart is as bright as a song, and only painting can sing for me.

This world proves that you have been here.