[Reprinted] How to face a woman with rich love history!

Modern people are more and more open-minded and women's status is getting higher and higher. Cheating is normal, mistress is bullying ... but even so, can men who occupy an absolute majority accept that their women have rich love history? According to the survey of Phoenix Fashion, only 20% of men can accept that their other half has too rich love history! So, what is the reason? In the face of men's narrow-mindedness, should women "sincerely" confess their past or "rationally" conceal it? We will bring experts to discuss with you. 1.

Men and women always have different love fantasies in different positions, and these fantasies are intertwined with contradictions everywhere, not to mention consistency and harmony, not to mention rationality and fairness. Look at the history of love. Women only want the man in front of them to be their last man. As for the past, even if there is a lot of jealousy, it will not be the biggest reason to break up. As long as this man loves me now, he is better than those women who love the past. And men always yearn for and even demand that this woman is his first woman. If they learn that the other person has a rich history of love, men's love will easily disappear or even most of them will end up breaking up. It has nothing to do with whether he is a virgin or not, and whether he has changed several female companions. Judging from this phenomenon, in fact, men are more cruel, more radical and more naive than women in dealing with love affairs.

Men's overreaction to their female partner's love history is mainly caused by the following reasons: a)

The differences in physiology and reproductive structure between men and women determine their different reactions and demands in the face of love history.

Men always want to spread their excellent genes to as many places as possible in order to ensure more reproduction of future generations. Women only care about maintaining the existing resources from infringement, and always hope to get the greatest resources of this man around them. Therefore, what men subconsciously sow everywhere is the recognition of "I have the ability", while the recognition of women should often be "passive waiting". Therefore, once a woman has a rich love history, she will jump out of men's cognition of women's roles and become an opponent who can compete side by side with men, which is unacceptable in men's bones. b)

Jealousy is not only a woman's love psychology, but also a man's jealousy is enough to make people crazy.

I once made a live program called "Jealous Love" on CCTV's Night Line, in which it was said that men are jealous in various forms. Some people eat hot vinegar because they react excessively, while others eat cold vinegar because they are silent or secretly jealous, which is enough to compare with women. c)

Men's androgens lead to wanting to be a hero and the most powerful, powerful and important person in love.

This reminds me of the descriptions of gangsters or shanzhai kings in some films, which can reflect this kind of complex in men's hearts. You see, both gangsters and fake kings are "other people's women, and women in the mountains are my women." I want and have the right to have them at any time, but the woman who dares to touch them is a dead end. " Therefore, in fact, men will not lose to women in possessiveness. Women want to possess men's present and future, and men want to possess women's past, future and present. 2.

We have many misunderstandings about love, and it is precisely because of these misunderstandings that many women feel guilty about hiding their love history, and also make many women explain the history in detail when facing the curiosity and doubt of their boyfriends.

Myth 1: Love means no privacy or no secrets at all.

-intimate love is of course ideal, and honesty between lovers is indeed important. So some love experts began to advocate the so-called "no secret" relationship, which I personally think is too absolute and too idealistic. In addition to seeing the positive and kind side of human nature, we can't ignore the bad qualities that are often difficult to grasp in human nature. Love needs trust, but the hardest thing is trust. I encourage couples to agree on a future without secrets from the day they establish a relationship, that is, in the future, they can be transparent without secrets. But as for the past, let go of what is needed and give each other a space of trust in history. Love is different from law. "Leniency in confession" can reduce the punishment of a criminal, but confession in love history is likely to be like Yao Jiaxin's. Although the attitude of pleading guilty after the crime was very good, it was also because his criminal behavior not only violated the law, but also violated the moral bottom line of most people, so born to die ended up. There is no room for the love of each other's love history, it is love without breathing, even love without breathing. How can the vitality of love last?

Love Myth 2: Some people say: "

To love a person, you need to know a person's past. Without knowing each other's past, you don't even know whether you love an imaginary one or a real one. "

In fact, true love is to let go of the other person's past, accept him/her as he/she is, and accept him/her with an imperfect past, present and future. Therefore, for those women who have rich love history, never confess their love history in exchange for each other's understanding. Moreover, the first thing you should do is to forgive and accept your original behavior. Whether you define your past by "ignorance" or "impure", they have become history and you can't change them. The only thing you can change is how to learn from experience, manage and grasp the current relationship, and never let history repeat itself. When the other person asks about your past, don't prevaricate, and don't confess completely with a guilty conscience. In fact, a man asking about your past is like asking a man, "Do you love me?" They are all the same, they are just looking for their most important and unique position in each other's hearts and lives. You just have to tell each other affectionately and firmly, "I have always loved you the most, and now you are your only love so far."

Therefore, please remember that any woman who has a rich history of love does not take the initiative to confess and avoid talking about it, which does not mean cheating. In love, we really need some white lies and the opposite art.

No woman is born with good character. When the whole world knows that men have a serious virgin complex, women will be mean and merciful everywhere? Many women's affairs are caused by irresponsible men abusing their right to love. If you really love a woman, you should learn to love all of her. If you love a woman, it is not easy to learn to be a woman; To love a woman is to look at her efforts and efforts now. B) No matter how hard it is to fight against Nicholas Tse, you should learn to be a tolerant and good person like Nicholas Tse.

-It's really hard to face the rich love history of your lover, but life is a storm. This is also an instinctive reaction of a man who wants to retreat and change people under such circumstances. But is there really no other choice and method? Is it really necessary to give up a happy present and future for a past? If it's really hard, just look at Nicholas Tse. He has to face not only his wife's past, but also world public opinion and pressure. It's how manly he deals with and how many women he touches. Nicholas Tse can do it, why can't you? You know, everyone has had their own story. Maybe you love her vigorously, or you are hurt all over, but now she has chosen you. It means that she still believes in love, and that you are the best in her heart. So, are you focusing on the construction of a happy life in the future, or are you clinging to her past, sprinkling salt on each other's wounds and stabbing again? Letting go of each other's past is also letting go of yourself and letting love live! c)

Love needs faith, forgiveness is more precious than love, and venting is more rational than choosing to break up.

You should be able to choose to forgive when your love faith is unbalanced due to rich love history. If you always pester and care about some irreparable mistakes, it will be useless and will only make you lose a life that is likely to be happy. As a man, don't suppress the unspeakable emotions derived from it, otherwise it is likely to explode irretrievably in the future. Finding someone you trust, such as a psychological counselor, who can understand and support you and keep secrets for you can help you speak your mind, vent your emotions and adjust your mentality. Of course, it is an effective way to share your feelings directly with your partner. As long as it's not cathartic questioning and accusations, sharing your inner world with your partner often can not only make you a mentally healthy and emotional man, but also easily enhance mutual trust and feelings. 4.

Give some kind advice to men and women in love a) be smart!

There is a good saying: "mature people don't ask about the past, smart people don't ask about the present, and open-minded people don't ask about the future." We often tell women that in true love, trust should be used instead of doubt and tolerance should be used instead of demanding. In fact, smart men should learn to master the true wisdom in this sentence and practice it in their own emotions. Love is not only that this woman belongs to me, but more importantly, how to make the woman who belongs to me feel your broad mind and tolerant heart. So, if you are really in love, be a smart person and keep some secrets and dignity for yourself and your partner's past. Restrain your curiosity and ask yourself not to pursue each other's past. If the other person feels it is necessary to tell herself, she will naturally say, if the other person doesn't want to say it, why should she let herself get hurt or force the other person to deceive herself with lies? Just put the secret in history, not in your heart, calmly face the present and create the future. B) Be a sensible woman!

In this increasingly open era, sex is no longer a secret and conservative term. It seems that when two people fall in love, they naturally enter the substantive relationship, which is one of the reasons why women's love history is rich now. In addition, many women who are deeply in love think that "commitment to each other" is a manifestation of love. As long as they give everything a man wants, they can get back their ideal love and marriage. There are also many women who are afraid to say "no" when facing love, because they are afraid that this "no" will lose the love and opportunities they already have. Unfortunately, in the kingdom of love, men are often far from women's imagination and expectations. Therefore, we should change the phenomenon that "women in love are the most stupid" and learn to be a rational woman. Before giving your body, don't be blindly intoxicated and daydreaming, and don't exchange your body for love. Instead, learn to grasp the temperature of love, learn to polish your eyes, choose your true love partner from the vast sea of people, and share the true sweetness and fiery love with him.