The Art of Communication between Parents and Teachers

This article "The Art of Communication between Parents and Teachers" is specially arranged for everyone. I hope it will help everyone!

Once a child goes to kindergarten, communication with the teacher is something that every parent must face. I often hear parents complain that the teacher is unkind, and children "complain" whenever there is a situation, and their tone is blunt, regardless of the parents' face; The teacher is always full of complaints. "The child is yours. How can you always blame your child for not teaching well? " It is true that the public is right and the old woman is right.

This is all for the children, and both sides need to have something to say. In this issue, we specially invited several teachers and parents to express their views on how to establish effective communication between teachers and parents. The goal of both sides is for the rapid growth of children. Teachers and parents should be close partners, not rivals who complain about each other.

Guest of Parents: Laura, the son of the chief financial officer of a foreign company, is a senior one.

Guan Hairong's financial officer daughter is in the fourth grade of primary school.

Wang Qi works for a charity in the first grade of her son's primary school.

Wang Xia Burui Culture (Beijing) Co., Ltd. Director's Son Kindergarten

Teacher's Guest: Chen Jing, Director of Qingdao Aishuang Children's Home.

Ling Lv, a teacher at Wucheng Primary School in Kunming.

Yin Xiaofeng, a teacher at Beijing Morningstar School

Yan Rui, a primary school teacher attached to Peking University.

What kind of parents and teachers do you like?

(Parent Team) What kind of teacher do you like best?

Wang Qi: I don't like teachers who don't respect people. What kind of teacher you like should be directly related to the school's educational philosophy, because different educational concepts make schools choose different teachers. This requires parents to first agree with the school's educational philosophy.

Wang Xia: My child has only been in kindergarten for a few months. I think parents like what kind of teachers their children like. Babies are simple and lovely, and young teachers who are full of love and smiling are often their favorite. Babies often treat them as sisters, and smiles are like adhesives, which stick teachers and babies together.

Laura: I like teachers who respect their parents. He can communicate with parents on an equal footing, help parents fully understand and understand their children, and form a joint force to educate them. In addition, teachers should love and care about students, and they should not be sarcastic or corporal punishment in disguise.

Guan Hairong: I think a good teacher should be caring and responsible, which is especially important for children who just go to school. From my personal experience, I know that teachers can see the characteristics of each student and give them affirmation and encouragement, which will benefit them for life.

What kind of parents do you like?

Yin Xiaofeng: Some parents come to the teacher with a grateful heart to ask how to educate and guide their children. At the same time, they also actively talked about a series of behaviors of children at home. They are also willing to share some methods and means of educating children at home, and give teachers some cases to make teachers' observation and understanding of children more stereoscopic and comprehensive. I like working with such parents.

Yan Rui: I admire parents who are considerate and can treat their children correctly. Among some parents we contacted, a large number of parents only saw the advantages of their children. For example, when dealing with problems, parents always say that their children are already very good, and only recently have there been so many problems. In this way, parents' children do not take responsibility for mistakes, but only find other people's shortcomings.

Ling Lv: I like parents who have the courage to take responsibility for educating their children. I am most afraid that parents will think that it is the teacher's business to send their children to school and educate them. I face sixty children every day, so I hope parents can have a heart of understanding and support.

There is a boy's mother in the class who always says thank you every time she sees me. Once in a parent-teacher conference, she took a rose to the podium when she spoke. I said, "Teacher, thank you for loving our children so much. We know that you have done a lot for our children. You have worked hard! " At that time, my tears could not help but gush.

Chen Jing: I think it is difficult to describe which kind of parents are the best, but in the exchange, we summarized several characteristics of excellent parents: they can agree with the kindergarten's concept of running a kindergarten, pay close attention to teaching activities, and attach importance to the healthy development of children's body and mind. They actively undertake their due responsibilities in the family and create a good family atmosphere, because knowing that parents love each other is the guarantee for their children's happy growth. They like to communicate with teachers and keep abreast of their children's situation. They like to make friends with other parents and are very concerned about the growth of other children.

Talk about the misunderstanding: teachers and parents, who is right and who is wrong?

Mother team-

Laura: Teachers and parents seldom have time to communicate. Once there is communication, many teachers tend to go straight to their children's problems without thinking too much about their parents' feelings and acceptance. But, you know, which parent really likes their children "useless"? ! Even some teachers themselves are unwilling to discuss solutions with their parents. They just describe things, which makes people feel that they have given the problem to their parents. Maybe parents themselves already have a headache.

Wang Xia: For parents with children in kindergarten, there may be some misunderstandings. First, the baby who entered the kindergarten for the first time peed his pants without being found by the teacher. When parents find out, they will feel that the baby has been ignored by the teacher. Second, some kindergartens will do credit evaluation, and often parents can't accept the low score, thinking it is a denial of the baby, which is easy to misunderstand. Third, some parents pay more attention to the sense of honor, and they will be a little excited when they hear the teacher talk about their baby's minor problems.

Guan Hairong: My daughter has been a good girl since she was a child. She is a naughty, taciturn and grumpy child. Often such children are easily ignored by teachers. Of course, there are 28 students in each class, and the teacher's energy is limited after all. I understand that, too.

Wang Qi: Whether teachers respect and care about students is our concern. When I was in the fourth grade of primary school, once, a female classmate failed to clean the blackboard in time on duty that day, and was severely reprimanded by the teacher, and she was fined to clean the blackboard with her beloved cotton cover. After that incident, that classmate has been depressed and rarely associates with his classmates. He always sits in his seat with his head down.

Children's expressive ability is limited. If we meet a teacher who doesn't respect him and cares about him wholeheartedly, we are very worried. Because we don't fully understand what children really look like at school. When communicating with school teachers, it is often what problems the children have encountered. What if it's about teacher education? Of course, behind the children's problems, there must be problems with our parents' own education.

Judging from the teacher's statement-

Chen Jing: We found that many parents attach great importance to their children's knowledge acquisition and ability cultivation, but they don't realize the importance of character, so they are very concerned about how many words their children have learned and how they rank in the class. In the process of communicating with parents, we also found that every parent especially likes to listen to teachers praising their children. When it comes to children's problems, parents will behave differently: some parents react strongly and are eager to correct their children immediately; Some parents strongly deny it, arguing that the child is not what the teacher said; Some parents don't think so, thinking that children are too young to be sensible and will grow up naturally. Especially when we find that many children's problems stem from their parents' problems in parenting, communication becomes more difficult.

Yin Xiaofeng: When communication with parents is not so smooth, the tension of communication comes from teachers or parents, and it will never be children. Our plans for children are often just our plans, not the children's own plans. When we attach great importance to our own plans, it will inevitably lead us to control our children and let them complete our plans, instead of helping them grow up according to their original appearance and personality. If a parent communicates with the teacher with strong planning, the tense atmosphere is self-evident. In this atmosphere, teachers and parents will be very careful when they speak, because if they are not careful, they will be labeled as "irresponsible" and "above".

Yan Rui: I often encounter the problem of how to deal with conflicts between children. Children are lively and active, and fighting is inevitable. Many times, parents often blame each other's children first when facing such problems. In fact, it is easy to anger each other's parents, because since there is a contradiction, both sides should be responsible.

There is also a more common situation. Some parents entrust their children to the elderly for work reasons and fail to take up the responsibility of educating their children. In the end, it will form a child's situation: 1, and the child is particularly delicate and has poor self-care ability. 2. Children and parents communicate less and don't understand each other. Some parents don't pay attention to their children in the lower grades, and it is more difficult to manage them in the higher grades. Because once a child does not develop good study habits, it is difficult to change. Whenever we meet such parents, it is not so easy to communicate.

Ling Lv: I like children. I have the ability to influence and educate them. But I have no right to educate and influence my parents. Have you ever heard of the expression "5+2=0"? It is said that parents don't cooperate with your education, you devote yourself to education for five days at school, and all the educational effects are in vain when your children come home for two days. According to a survey, parents have more opportunities to influence their children in time than teachers, so teachers can't bear the responsibility of parents and unilaterally provoke the heavy responsibility of educating children. If teachers want to educate their children well, they must become partners with their parents and work together to educate and influence their children.

But there is a real lack of communication between parents and teachers, sometimes it can be said that there is no communication. Some parents think that it is a good way to communicate with teachers by getting on well with them and giving them gifts. In fact, teachers sometimes need parents' understanding, support and trust, which is more valuable than any gift. This kind of understanding, support and trust can sometimes be felt through a small matter. For example, parents insist on carefully checking their children's homework every day and signing it carefully to let teachers know that parents attach great importance to cultivating their children's study habits at home. If they remember it, they will not sign it. If they can't remember it, they will not sign it.

Reconciliation: for the sake of children, work together.

Advice from parents—

Wang Qi: If parents and teachers want to establish good communication, I think parents and schools should first agree with each other's educational ideas and respect each other. Secondly, parents and teachers should straighten their positions together. Only when the two sides become a consortium, learn from each other's strong points and cooperate with each other can we better help children grow up. Teachers and parents should accept everyone's imperfections as human beings, tolerate each other, trust each other and cooperate sincerely. Thirdly, it is a good way of communication. The most important thing is nothing more than three points, that is, a modest and amiable attitude, a practical approach, and empathy. With these, even if the words are clumsy, communication will develop in a good direction.

Guan Hairong: Because my children are not naughty, talkative and slow-tempered, they are easily ignored by teachers. So I take the initiative to communicate with the teacher and learn what my daughter and I usually communicate with the teacher. On the first day of school, I asked my daughter, "Are you afraid of teachers?" The daughter said, "How can you be afraid? Didn't you say' teachers are like mothers'? There is a mother at home, and the person closest to the school is the teacher! Another time I said to my daughter, "I especially hope that you are a cheerful and lively child who can get along with everyone." She said solemnly, "Then everyone is different. I am just a quiet child who loves reading. " This makes me a little ashamed as a mother. Loving you the way you are is our favorite story, but at this moment I forgot to love her the way she is. I told my teacher many such things, and the teacher was surprised and said, "She never told me these things. She is really considerate. " In this way, I usually pay attention to her.

Wang Xia: Kindergartens often hold some activities. At this time, the participation of parents is necessary. This kind of participation in school activities is a positive communication behavior. Teachers can better understand the difference between babies at home and babies in the garden, thus helping babies to better adapt to kindergartens. The effect of parental cooperation is obvious. In this way, when the baby has problems, the cooperative atmosphere between teachers and parents is more harmonious, and it is easier to achieve good results.

Laura: I think good communication between parents and teachers needs to be based on mutual trust, understanding and acceptance. I used to be a parent who didn't like communication, but now I communicate with my teacher at any time to help my son. Sometimes I will take the initiative to go to school and meet every teacher of my child. There is no need for children to think of communicating with teachers if they have problems. Sometimes the time is inconvenient, and leaving a message on the phone is enough to solve the problem.

From the teacher—

Chen Jing: Aiming at the communication difficulty of how to properly point out the problems between children and parents, our garden realizes effective communication with parents through the following work: I really love children and understand them. The questions raised will be observed for a period of time and recorded in detail. We will exchange views with other teachers, look at problems from different angles, and strive to be objective and fair. Let's analyze the cause of the problem together: does it come from the children's own development factors? Factors in the park? Family factors? Then choose the right time to communicate with your parents alone. When communicating, first affirm the children's advantages and progress, and then point out the existing problems, with sincere attitude and modest words, in order to gain parents' understanding and support. At the same time, we should listen carefully to parents' opinions, seek solutions to problems and reach a consensus. After that, we will also pay attention to the children's progress and give timely feedback to parents, thanking them for their support.

In the communication with two generations of parents, our approach is: first, affirm grandparents' efforts in raising children, acknowledge their contributions in the family, and then put forward suggestions for specific problems in intergenerational education. Encourage parents to take more responsibility for raising children. Sometimes it is difficult to see the parents of children. Strengthen telephone communication, fill in the contact list of parents, recommend excellent books and periodicals, and actively invite two generations of parents to participate in parent school activities. Help families to establish a good way to raise their children, promote two generations to reach an agreement on educational concepts, and let children have unified standards in front of grandparents, parents and teachers.

In addition, in our daily work, we pay attention to communication with our parents everywhere, for example, when we meet our parents every day, we communicate with them in time. Children who take the shuttle bus will get a small form that briefly records their day's life and take it to their parents when they leave the park. The teacher fills in a "weekly file" for each child every week, and there is a "parent-child activity list" that matches the weekly activities. Parents fill in and exchange opinions and bring them back. A parent can be invited to accompany outdoor exploration activities every week to provide parents with observation opportunities and enhance communication. There is no fixed open day for parents in Children's Home. Children's Home is completely open to parents as long as they can work normally. We set up the Family Committee and jointly established the "Love Double Parents School" with the Family Committee, which organizes parents to carry out study, exchange and reading activities on topics such as parenting and establishing good family relations every month. Parent-child activities are held during the festival and parents are invited to participate.

Ling Lv: As teachers, we really need the understanding and trust of our parents. Of course, from a professional point of view, teachers should learn communication skills and actively communicate with parents to help children grow up. The basis of communication is also trust. No matter what kind of children and parents are, we must firmly believe that any parent has a heart that loves children. It's not that parents don't want to take care of their children, sometimes they don't have the ability and methods, and parents themselves are confused and worried. Many times, when you talk to such parents about their children's problems, parents will appear very defensive and always feel that you are picking on him. Therefore, when communicating with parents, we should learn to express our thoughts accurately, make less accusations, express our hopes positively, and don't cross the line to worry parents.

I sometimes feel deeply that it is difficult for me to influence or change a parent's educational concept. I don't have the ability and strength to help them. I don't have time to spend a lot of energy communicating with parents. I have no right to help parents make some decisions. So I really hope to have a special parent school to help teachers and parents solve some practical problems. Let teachers focus more on teaching, how to educate children, and join hands with parents to educate our children together.

Sincere witness in home-school communication

( 1)

In fact, if parents are willing to communicate and listen to the teacher, the teacher will be willing to pour out his heart. The following is a treasure that a mother got from her child's teacher, which made her very moved. The teacher said:

1. Inviting teachers to dinner and giving gifts is unnecessary to establish a relationship with teachers. There is not a teacher who doesn't want his students to learn better, whether in character or in school;

2. Teachers need to be respected. There is no teacher who doesn't want his work to be recognized by his parents. When you see your child's progress, a compliment to the teacher's work and an understanding of the teacher's hard work, whether it is a phone call or a mobile phone message, it is enough to motivate the teacher;

We need parents to work together to help and protect children. Children may have more information than teachers and parents. In the era when the so-called "novice" is a teacher and parents and children are "old birds", educators are facing unprecedented challenges from the educated. However, the child's mind is not yet mature and his character needs to be built. Teachers and parents need to guide and help their children through healthy communication.

In this era of exam-oriented education, the school's character education is really limited. We remind parents to spend more time with their children and more energy to cultivate their good habits and character.

Our time is limited, and we usually contact our parents to "report good news but not bad news". Parents should not think that their children are useless.

(2)

Facing the parents of children, there are often inexplicable worries and anxieties. If you don't communicate well with the teacher, you will be even more sad. How do parents decompress? The following are six positive responses that parents can make, which are worthy of reference:

1. Never wait for the teacher to report bad news before contacting the teacher. Besides, your passive response is not enough. If there is no time to meet, it is also a good way to write it down and let the children bring it to the teacher. Now email and SMS are very convenient, so you can learn more about your child at home and school, and both parties will cooperate in time to avoid missing the opportunity to help your child.

2. At present, the communication of "reporting worries" is more common. When parents receive negative news from teachers about their children, don't tell them all at once, not to mention that the teacher's criticism is not enough. Parents should also criticize their children's "disappointing", which will soon destroy their self-image. "Please parents" is also very common. Parents should avoid humiliating their children in front of everyone to save face.

Parents should create a relaxed atmosphere at home, and children can tell you freely no matter what happens. This is very important for children. When children's emotions are accepted, they can build a sense of security, and then children are willing to accept all kinds of help you provide;

Facing the environment of exam-oriented education, remember that scores are never as important as personality. On the other hand, there are habits and personality problems that need to be solved urgently behind every academic achievement problem; When the habit problem is solved, the problem of grades is usually not a problem.

Parents should listen to the teacher's information with sincerity and respect, find out where the child needs help from the phenomenon put forward by the teacher, and guide the topic to how to help the child, instead of just discussing the child's wrong behavior and shortcomings. It is also important to ask the teacher for advice. After all, teaching children is their major, and they have many good methods and experiences to learn from.

6. Teachers also have tasks to complete, so parents should be considerate. If you use tape to correct typos, the whole school will do it because you have to do homework evaluation. )

-* * Mom

The conflict between parents and teachers often makes both sides very headache and angry, and some of them are getting worse. However, there are also many successful cases of building children together. Mother makes fun of her "communication record" and may make you nod.

Me, children, teachers, how to operate the triangle relationship?

-Home-school communication

Laura/Wen

Before my son went to school, an "experienced person" warned me that in Beijing, "a teacher will be a fierce teacher", saying that as long as the child has a condition, the teacher will invite parents to listen to "training" together, telling me that "forbearance" in front of the teacher is the best policy, and reminding me that in order to get the child's attention in class, or at least not get angry, we must find ways to have a good relationship with the teacher.

My son went to school. The first, second and third grades are safe. I was not "invited" by the teacher, but attended several parent-teacher conferences. Every parent-teacher meeting is about letting poor students learn from top students (measured by grades and discipline) and calling on parents of poor students to pay attention. I think the teacher's intention is good, although the tone is traditional preaching, but we have long been used to it, and the unit leaders don't talk like this, so we don't care too much.

In the fourth grade, the study task was heavy, and the teacher changed. The teacher began to call to report the child's "abnormal" behavior: your son, his handwriting is not good, he is distracted in class, his homework is handed in last, and he is too slow to do things; After lunch, all the other children stayed in the teacher's room. Your children are always walking around the campus, and they have great personality. I hope parents can urge their children to study and tell them not to let him walk. He's special.

The son reflected that the situation in the school was more than before. When I came back, I complained that teachers often canceled their favorite physical education class and science classes and asked them to do Chinese math problems in the classroom. It is also mentioned that several boys often "rebel" with their teachers because of this, and the result is of course "teacher dictatorship". Although my son is not in the "rebel" team, it is obvious that he supports those "rebel" children and tells me that "where there is oppression, there is resistance".

I observe children and feel sorry for my son. City people keep their children in captivity-the houses are small, the roads are too messy, and the neighbors don't communicate. Therefore, their hands and feet are not flexible enough and their actions are not fast. In addition, the newly learned pen-and-ink drawing, writing typos, the teacher is not allowed to use error correction symbols, nor can he cross out the typos and re-write them beside them. You must tape down the typos (it is said that many schools use this kind of pen-and-ink drawing so that students' homework can look neat and beautiful). If you are strong, make a hole and rewrite a whole page; I am very weak, I don't do anything at once, but I have to do it two or three times ... In this case, it takes several minutes to correct the typo successfully, and with the frustration caused by unskilled technology, my son finally cried before finishing his homework.

So when I got a call from my teacher, I was very upset. Son, it's not easy enough. Insist on doing homework every day, and physical education class is often cancelled. It's nice to take a walk! Better than sleeping on a small table. Distracted? It's normal for children! Writing slowly? This difficult "technology" has not been practiced yet, and of course it will not be soon. But on the phone, I didn't tell the teacher this. I guess my son must have added a little hardship to the teacher. I was respectful to the teacher, and I said I would help the children at home. Thank the teachers for their concern and ask them to help the children more.

My son asked me, did the teacher tell you about me? Hum, our teacher is like this. Call first, and then let parents and parents put pressure on us together to see if you are not convinced. Several students were invited to meet their parents.

I realized the opposition between my son and my teacher and thought about how to avoid conflict. In other words, I smell that my son is going to have a conflict with his teacher. What should I do if it is unavoidable? Also, as a parent, I am very likely to have a conflict with my teacher and feel sorry for my son. The rain is coming and the wind is getting stronger and stronger.

I will try my best to help children improve their quality and speed in the future. Although my son is not satisfied with the skills specified by the teacher to correct typos, he still obeys the authority of the teacher and disagrees with me to discuss alternative methods with the teacher (I told him and found that he has the power to face reality). The son was sure that it didn't violate school discipline, and the teacher didn't say so. He just feels that a sheep is not with the flock, which is inconvenient to manage.

In the next few days, I will communicate with my teacher by phone, but that's all. I sincerely respect the teacher, listen carefully to the teacher's story about the child, and thank the teacher for his hard work and concern for the child. After these phone calls, I gradually changed subtly-from unfamiliar to familiar, from the initial "accusation" in the teacher's conversation, I gradually mentioned many advantages of my child and also led me to some ways to help my son.

Son, this way. After listening to the teacher's complaint to him, I translated it into "The teacher said that your writing has great potential and you can write better. Let's practice more"; The teacher said what advantages you have and so on. At first, my son didn't believe me and asked, Did the teacher really say that?

I quickly sent a text message to the teacher: Teacher xx, the child doesn't believe that you actually appreciate his advantages. Please tell him yourself tomorrow!

When the child comes back from school again, his eyes shine: "Mom, the teacher praised me today! It seems that our teacher doesn't always find fault with me! "

I suddenly relaxed a lot, and the shadow of "teachers are fiercer than tigers" began to fade away, and I was less worried about the future "storms". My son is also very willing to come back every day to give me the news broadcast. At that time, it seemed that everyone was very happy.

After a while, I realized that the "storm" had suddenly come. One afternoon, when I was in a meeting, I suddenly received a phone call from my teacher, asking me to come to school at once, saying that my son was extremely out of control and asked me to "talk about him" with the teacher.

As soon as I entered the classroom, I found two boys present besides my son. A boy stood in front of the platform diagonally opposite the teacher, holding a word with the teacher, and the soldiers came to block the water, just like practicing table tennis. Another tall boy is still sitting in the first row, doing his homework and acting as a mediator. My son sat in another seat next to the podium, with tears on his face, but he was not convinced.

This scene made me feel sorry for my child for a moment. They are not only under great pressure to study, but also encounter difficulties in communicating with teachers every day; I sympathize with the teacher, too. More than 50 children are almost exhausted after finishing their homework, and they "push down the gourd and lift the gourd" in discipline. How can they not be exhausted!

The teacher finally finished playing table tennis, and it was my son's turn. I called the teacher outside and asked her to find a place for me and my son alone. Then the teacher began to "accuse" my son of "committing a crime". My son put his head in his hands and said, "Don't say anything".

I once again asked the teacher to go outside and suggested that the teacher only describe what happened that day and her expectations for the children in this matter. Because his son has a "fight to the end" attitude, it is difficult for him to make up with the teacher immediately. When the teacher accepted my suggestion, things became simple.

Most of the anger was relieved in the teacher's narrative. The cause of the matter is actually very simple. The child didn't go for a walk at noon that day. After eating, I threw orange peel with some classmates in the classroom and was criticized by the teacher. The son refused to accept it, so there was a contradiction. When the teacher has finished, let the children go home and think about it and see what they have done wrong.

Then I stayed in the classroom with my teacher. The children have all left, and I sincerely told her that I saw her fatigue at work and realized how difficult it is to be a teacher now. The teacher looked at me and thanked me for being an understanding parent. She told me about her difficulties, such as the requirements of the school, the requirements of different parents and the challenges from children. She also thanked me for listening to her.

When I got home, I carefully understood my son's thoughts and helped him understand whether he was right or wrong. My son was very grateful to me and said that I didn't scold him in front of teachers and classmates like other parents. He said that some parents did this at the invitation of the teacher, and his classmates were wronged!

A week later, the teacher called me and said that the child wrote his understanding of the incident in a diary (the teacher asked the students to keep a diary, and the son showed it to the teacher but didn't show it to me), thanking the teacher and apologizing. The teacher was very moved!

This conflict strengthens the triangular relationship between me and my children and teachers, and the result of mutual acceptance is daily harmony. I communicate with teachers at any time to help cultivate my son. Sometimes I will take the initiative to go to school and meet every teacher of my child. Time is not convenient, and leaving a phone message is enough to solve the problem. My son's grades are getting better and better, and he has become a gentleman with others. At the graduation ceremony of my son's primary school, my son and the teacher took a close group photo. I saw that their eyes were full of joy for each other.