Mai Ba is a sign of low emotional intelligence.

01

Some time ago, on the weekend, a group of our friends invited us to sing.

I have always enjoyed the feeling of singing in KTV. The lights, atmosphere, and the gazes of my friends all make me excited. But basically every gathering, whether it is between colleagues, classmates, or friends, is always not very enjoyable.

Because basically at every singing party like this, you will always meet the legendary "Mai Ba".

There are two types of Mai Ba:

One refers to a person who sings very well and can sing many songs in many genres. This refers to praise.

The other type refers to people who like to occupy the microphone. Whether the singing is good or not is another matter, but I dare to sing any song. Even if he can't sing, he can still howl loudly at the top of his lungs. Here it is meant in a derogatory sense.

When encountering the former type of Mai Ba, they are extremely talented, so we just need to listen quietly.

But it is always distressing to encounter the latter type of Mai Ba. I could tolerate singing Cantonese songs in Mandarin, but they were completely out of tune and they kept dominating the microphone. More importantly, the sound can be so loud that it overwhelms you and makes you lose all desire to sing.

And because this kind of gathering usually involves acquaintances, everyone will at most make fun of Mai Ba after leaving the KTV. If he doesn’t sing with you next time, that’s it.

But in the final analysis, everyone chooses to sing for entertainment and relaxation. In this case, Mai Ba only cares about singing happily alone, which is really a sign of low emotional intelligence.

I can forgive you Mai Ba for this behavior, but you can't just ignore it.

02

When I went out to KTV at night, a friend secretly complained to me on the street, saying that the song she wanted to sing the most was completely ruined by that Mai Ba. He didn't even know where the key was, so he dared to pick up the microphone and sing with me. I was really speechless.

From this point, I can think that the biggest sign of Mai Ba’s low emotional intelligence is: too strong desire for expression.

The desire for expression is a basic human desire and a manifestation of outstanding personality and publicity. A person without the desire for expression is incomplete and defective, but if the desire for expression is excessive, it needs to be corrected.

I worked in real estate sales for a while, and in that branch, everyone hated a 30-year-old man. It's because that man is grabbing customers all the time and showing off his superiority.

In fact, when it comes to real estate sales, customers who come to your door have to rely on your own skills to grab them, which is understandable. But he went too far. Even if he was a customer, he wanted to get in touch with him, even if someone was already receiving the customer.

According to him, he is afraid that we are too young and cannot handle the needs of customers well. If a customer is angry with us and leaves, he can still try to retain him.

But everyone knows his situation. If he was really capable and had been in real estate for almost ten years, would he still be unable to pay off his credit card debt and be blacklisted by the bank?

So the biggest fear is that you have to perform well if you don’t have the ability. If you can’t sing well, then just sing a few songs that you are familiar with and you will be perfect. There is really no need to sing every song.

In fact, even if you can really sing every song beautifully, don’t show it all. Successful social interaction is not about showing all your advantages to others, but being able to take care of everyone's emotional expression while showing yourself.

When everyone is happy, this is successful social networking.

03

I don’t know if you have paid attention, but when a Mai Ba appears in a KTV, it is basically the Mai Ba who is singing in the later stage. Others are either playing games or playing with their phones with their heads down. Usually the party is almost over at this time.

So Mai Ba also has another sign of low emotional intelligence: he has no vision.

What is sight? Vision allows you to keenly perceive the emotional fluctuations of people around you and tell you what their current state is. Is it very happy and exciting? Still very boring and indifferent.

I remember two days ago, a friend complained to me about one of his colleagues. He said that he wanted to invite the girls in the same group to watch a newly released movie, so he asked in the group whether anyone wanted to watch it this weekend. For movies, let’s make an appointment together.

As a result, before the girls in the group could reply, a new male colleague eagerly expressed his intention to go together. My friend was a little embarrassed and couldn't refuse directly, so he didn't reply to the message and avoided answering.

Unexpectedly, the colleague sent him a private message directly and asked him if he wanted to go. He said politely that we might live a bit far away, so let’s forget it.

As a result, his colleague replied, it doesn’t matter, I will go find you on the weekend.

My friend said, I'm sorry, but an old classmate just asked me to go to the movies with him, and it was hard to refuse.

I didn’t expect his colleagues to be happier. There are more people and it’s more lively. I don’t mind.

I mind, my friend was complaining crazily.

In fact, at this point, people with a little bit of discernment would already know that their friends are making excuses. Then he said, "Oh, then you and your classmates can go." It would be perfect and neither party would be embarrassed.

So when you are a Maiba, you also need to be discerning. When you find that friends around you are playing their own games, you need to find out the reason. Could it be because of you that everyone has no time to play?

The most fundamental thing to develop your vision is your mentality. A mentality of putting yourself in others' shoes, that is, don't just think about yourself, think about how to take care of the people around you.

04

In their own opinion, Mai Ba himself plays a role in adjusting the atmosphere of the party, so singing a few more songs is a small thing that is not worth mentioning. thing.

But some people just want to sing their own song alone and completely. If you rush to sing with them, you will only make them feel uncomfortable.

The so-called emotional intelligence lies more in our ability to control and regulate our own emotions and our ability to recognize the emotions of others.

There is a law of likability in psychology, which means that in the process of interacting with others, we should use liking to arouse liking and achieve emotional compatibility.

Therefore, when socializing, you must remember not to flatter yourself, but to take care of the emotions of others.

Next time I go to KTV to sing, please let me sing more songs.