Why don't mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along well

Why don't mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along well

Why don't mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along well? The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been the most difficult since ancient times. Every woman wants to have a mother-in-law who is really kind to herself, but the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in many families is not good. Let's share why the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is bad.

Why don't mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along well? 1 1, lack of communication.

Thinking and doing are completely different things. This truth is really suitable for the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law Which daughter-in-law doesn't want to get on well with her mother-in-law? But when she is face to face, she is always prone to make mistakes. It may be just a sentence, and it is easy to break the way for her mother-in-law to get along well. This is because the communication between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has gone wrong.

2. Different ideas and concepts

In the traditional concept, parents think that it is natural for a daughter-in-law to work hard at home and do housework, and many things should be done by her; For daughters-in-law who accept modern concepts, men and women are equal, especially in the case of dual roles of husband and wife, the responsibilities of housework should be shared equally. Parents who can't see the past and unwilling daughters-in-law will have problems.

The daughter-in-law doesn't respect her mother-in-law.

Although it has always been the fault of her mother-in-law to her daughter-in-law, her mother-in-law is not "black as a crow" and her mother-in-law is not unreasonable. Besides, who can rule out the situation that a daughter-in-law finds fault with her mother-in-law? Of course, what I'm talking about here mainly means that in normal communication, the daughter-in-law may not know how to speak. Young people are more straightforward and less experienced than their mother-in-law, and sometimes they may hurt their mother-in-law because of a rude word.

In fact, a better way to get along between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is to get along like mother and daughter. A woman is a mother's little cotton-padded jacket, so many friendly mother-in-law will treat her daughter-in-law as half a daughter, hoping to teach her more life experiences. Of course, if this is "consensual", it is naturally better. If only the mother-in-law helps, there may be conflicts because of her ignorance.

4. Different living habits

There are two aspects to the difference of living habits. On the one hand, the two families have different living habits. They have been used to living in their own homes since childhood. It must be very uncomfortable to suddenly change the environment after marriage, and it needs an adaptation stage. On the other hand, it is different from the living habits of elders, and elders and young people are completely different. With the growth of age, some parents will become more stubborn and can't stand many things of the younger generation, and disputes will occur once. If it is not resolved in time, it will escalate the contradiction, which is not good.

5. Poor mutual acceptance

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law used to live in different families, each with its own life background and habits. Now the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live in the same family, and there is a process of gradual understanding and mutual adaptation. If you can't adapt well and accept each other, there will be tension and contradiction.

How to get angry with your mother-in-law quietly

When you meet a strong and evil mother-in-law, you will definitely have a head-on conflict. How to calm down and get angry with your mother-in-law, attack and fight depends on who is shrewd. However, if you fight wits and fight bravely repeatedly, the final situation will be that both sides will lose, hurting the feelings of husband and wife. Therefore, when dealing with kinship, it is best to understand several principles:

1, keep respect

No matter how rogue and rude the other person is, first maintain the minimum respect for the elders. In this way, even if the other party does evil again, it will not let itself fall into the reputation of unfilial arrogance. When you live together, you should learn to understand each other, and you can't think wrong. Although you can't be like your mother-in-law, you should at least respect her and be filial to her.

Step 2 try to communicate

Many contradictions are caused by the lack of communication between family members, which intensifies the contradictions. Calm down and discuss things, there will always be a way to solve the problem.

3. Don't live with your parents

When a big family lives together, it is bound to be different because of different living habits. Girls like to coquetry in front of their husbands, let them beat their backs, pinch their feet and pour water on them. Once caught by my mother-in-law, my daughter-in-law will become warped, and my mother-in-law will think that I served my son since I was a child, and now my son serves a little girl.

How do you think your mother-in-law is sincere to you?

First, you are always asked to work in life, and his son is idle.

A mother-in-law who is sincere to you and treats you as one of her own will not let you do housework. Even if you ask for it on your own initiative, her mother-in-law will rush to let her do it herself or call her son for help directly when she is around. Because a mother-in-law who is sincere to you knows that a daughter-in-law marries for pain, not for work.

And a mother-in-law who feels that you don't care and always focuses on her son will keep ordering you to work, and you can't hide from being idle. Only his son is the most important. Her son doesn't even know anything, and she can't say anything.

Second, always leave the best food to her son, and the last one will always be you.

A mother-in-law who is sincere to you will treat you and her son equally in the family. In fact, what is delicious in the eyes of mother-in-law is nothing in the eyes of daughter-in-law, but a mother-in-law who is not sincere to you will leave the best food to her son. You will only be a vegetarian, or you will always have one last meal.

Although it seems that eating is only a small matter, it can really reflect a person's heart. Especially when it is unfair, it is most obvious.

Always say something behind your back, don't say it when you come.

A mother-in-law who is sincere to you will not treat you as an outsider. No matter what she has to say, she will say it to your face. Even some relatives you don't know in your mother-in-law's hometown, she won't keep it from you. but

Your mother-in-law who is not sincere to you is afraid that you will listen to everything she says and don't even treat you as one of our own. Whatever you do, whatever you say will stop you. If you are talking and laughing during the day, as long as you come, don't say anything.

These performances show that she is not a good mother-in-law.

1, always likes to interfere in his son's family affairs.

If you meet a reasonable mother-in-law, she won't interfere in your family affairs too much, but let you learn to handle it yourself. When you can't handle it well, ask her for advice. She will always patiently explain it to you and teach you how to handle this kind of thing with the experience of an experienced person. But if you meet an unreasonable mother-in-law, the situation may be a bit troublesome.

Even now that her son has grown up and got married, she still wants to get involved in his family affairs. She has a strong desire for control and doesn't know how to let go and let herself enjoy life. She always likes to meddle. No matter what the young couple do, she always talks nonstop, which makes the newlyweds feel particularly depressed. This type of mother-in-law is generally not a good mother-in-law.

2. Spoil your son too much.

Every newly married woman has to learn to adapt to many things when she comes to a new family. You should take good care of your mother-in-law. Once you take care of it to your mother-in-law's satisfaction, she will treat you well. Because of a good mother-in-law, when you get married, she will treat you as her own daughter and get along well with you. In this family, you will live a very relaxed life.

But not all mother-in-law are so kind. Some mothers-in-law still don't know the relationship after their son gets married, and they always treat their daughter-in-law as an outsider, being too eccentric to their son and having a bad face towards their daughter-in-law. Whenever husband and wife quarrel, she will stand on her son's side indiscriminately and talk about her daughter-in-law with her son. Such a mother-in-law is definitely not a good mother-in-law

3. Jealous wife

Some mothers-in-law are very sensible and kind-hearted. When their daughter-in-law got married, she was very kind to her. Whenever I see a quarrel between my son and my daughter-in-law, I will come over to comfort my daughter-in-law and ask my son to come over and apologize to her. The family lives happily and the family is very harmonious.

Mother-in-law is always willing to see her son and daughter-in-law particularly loved, so she will feel very gratified. But some mothers-in-law are particularly jealous. After her son got married, she didn't even know her identity and status, and even her son was jealous of her daughter-in-law.

Moreover, I will play all kinds of practical jokes behind my back and complain to my son that my daughter-in-law is not good to her, just because I don't want my daughter-in-law to live well in this family. Such a mother-in-law is really difficult to get along with, and she must not be a good mother-in-law.

The idea of son preference is deeply rooted.

As we all know, in the previous society, boys were preferred to girls, and only children were considered to be old. My daughter has grown up, married and unreliable. So people in the past paid special attention to their sons and looked down on their daughters. Some people's deep-rooted preference for boys has brought this concept from the previous society to the present.

Daughter-in-law is married, pregnant and has a grandson. She is very happy. When my daughter-in-law gave birth to her daughter, she was always picky and disgusted when she saw her granddaughter. If the daughter-in-law has only one daughter, it will be easier to talk, because there are no other grandchildren, so the mother-in-law can only be kind to this granddaughter.

But if the daughter-in-law gives birth to a man and a woman, the difference will be great. If she dotes on her grandson too much, turns a blind eye to her granddaughter and dislikes all kinds, such a mother-in-law is definitely not a good mother-in-law.

5. disrespect your private life

As we all know, my mother-in-law is the older generation, and her ideas may be old-fashioned and conservative. Women nowadays love beauty. In order to go out beautifully every day, they always buy many beautiful clothes, shoes, bags, hats, all kinds of ornaments and, of course, cosmetics.

When a conservative mother-in-law sees these things, she will feel that it is seldom used and wasteful to buy so many things there, and she may often quarrel.

Even if you use your own money to buy things, your mother-in-law will still talk about you, because she thinks that you are married and your money is her money. Of course, you will not be allowed to waste it like this. She will always interfere in your life too much, disrespect your lifestyle and always want to change your lifestyle. Such a mother-in-law does not know how to respect people, and of course she will not be a good mother-in-law.

Why don't mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along well? 2 1. Both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are in a passive state.

Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, one must take the initiative. If both of them are passive at first, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult to deal with. The key to dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law lies in initiative. When she first got married, her mother-in-law felt that her daughter-in-law should take the initiative to please herself, while her daughter-in-law felt that she should be loved by her mother-in-law when she married the man's family.

Only when her mother-in-law loves herself will she take the initiative to pay for her mother-in-law. The starting point of two people is not good or bad, but they ignore the most important point in their feelings, that is, initiative. If two people are waiting for each other to get better, then such a relationship is hard to last.

A very important reason for the bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is that everyone is not active. Being too passive and unwilling to give is not the way to increase feelings. Only by treating each other as a family, no matter who pays first, can the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law be harmonious.

2. treat each other as imaginary enemies.

Many mothers-in-law feel that the existence of their daughter-in-law takes away their son's love and care, so they are always hostile to their daughter-in-law and think that her daughter-in-law is here to collect debts. Once the mother-in-law has such an idea, she naturally has no good face for her daughter-in-law, but ignores that love and affection are not the same thing.

Daughter-in-law is not the enemy She won't take your son. On the contrary, as long as you are kind to her, you will have another filial person. Daughter-in-law often fears that her husband's love and dedication will be divided, so she will have a bad impression on her mother-in-law.

In fact, these problems do not necessarily exist, and most of them are just their own subjective ideas. If everyone regards each other as imaginary enemies, then the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will not be handled well.

I don't understand the importance of mother-in-law relationship.

Many mother-in-law and daughter-in-law feel that since the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is so difficult to deal with, they should simply leave it alone and let nature take its course. All those who think that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be handled without any problems are always unhappy in the end, because they ignore the importance of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Not understanding the importance of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the beginning of unhappiness The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is an important part of family relationship. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will only directly affect the relationship between husband and wife and the relationship between mother and child. If you want a harmonious family and the happiness of the man you love most, then you should handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Why don't mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along well? 1. Dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law cannot rely on others.

Whenever there is a dispute with her mother-in-law, she will tell her husband, hoping that her husband can come forward to help mediate the tension between her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. As a result, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not handled well, which also affects the relationship between husband and wife. Contradictions are between you and your mother-in-law, and it is up to them to solve their problems.

Now that you have brought your husband in, he is both your mother-in-law's son and your husband. Let him put in a good word for you in front of your mother-in-law, which will only make her feel that you are an opportunistic person and even need her husband's help to solve your own affairs, which will make her look down on you even more.

Therefore, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law cannot be handled by husband or others. You must take some actions yourself to make your mother-in-law change her mind. If you are wrong, you can generously admit your mistake to your mother-in-law and try to correct it. If neither side is right or wrong, it's just a conceptual difference.

You can also tell your mother-in-law frankly that you should stick to your point of view, but you will also respect her point of view. Solve the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law inside the problem, rather than relying on others to help you solve it. Pulling the husband into the tense relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will only increase more contradictions and troubles.

Second, improve their ability to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

There are problems between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, most of which are caused by weak ability. A woman with high emotional intelligence and strong ability can't annoy or despise her mother-in-law.

Therefore, in addition to taking care of husbands and educating children, women spend more energy on self-improvement. When you become emotionally intelligent, financially independent and psychologically strong, even if you encounter a contradiction between your mother-in-law and your daughter-in-law, you won't be troubled for long, because your ability and wisdom can always find a solution to the problem.