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What does a person have to go through to become gentle?
What people experience will become gentle. Everyone needs to experience many things and people when he is alive. After these things, they will become mature. Below I share a related copy about what people experience to become gentle. Let's have a look!
People will become gentle when they experience anything 1 Some people grow up, just because they have experienced too many painful things, they don't want to talk to others on their own initiative, and their expressions to strangers are cold, and they are easy to become indifferent to more and more people and things. Once a stranger approaches actively, their tone will become gentle and polite to everyone, but no one can walk into her inner world, her mouth droops and she seldom smiles.
Although she has become very gentle with friends around her and strangers who take the initiative, she never smiles at a stranger, a person who hurts her and a person she hates, but always ignores them as air, let alone forgives them.
"Gentleness" is a manifestation of treating people. When you get along with gentle people, your mind will be quiet and comfortable.
A "gentle" person is not a good person, but has his own principles and bottom line, and he knows exactly what he wants rationally.
"Tenderness" is also a change of mood. As many people say, the older people get, the more emotional they are, which is also a sign of gentleness. At first, we only cared about one thing, one person. I will care about many things and more people in the future. The breeze caresses the weeds, and the power of life can also make you cry.
A "gentle" person is not necessarily lonely, but a person who knows loneliness is not lonely. The end of loneliness is not necessarily fear, but maybe there are beautiful rainbows and people who want to wait most.
Only those who have experienced hardships will understand the importance of gentleness, and they will push themselves and others and be gentle with others. We can't change others, so we should learn to get along with the world.
Haruki Murakami once said, "After the storm, you will be different." And we can't imagine what everyone has been through. We just need to keep our hearts soft.
Gentle and clean, but it doesn't tell a deep love and hate like a romantic affair, but like a gentle wind blowing through your heart.
A person's experience will make him gentle. Gentle people have two endings: one is that they are well protected and don't know the darkness of the world; One is to become calm after struggling alone in the dark. "
Gentle people have a quiet, warm and peaceful look in their eyes. From their point of view, the whole world is soft.
Gentle people always have a faint smile on their lips, which makes people feel kind, sincere and peaceful.
Therefore, it is often difficult for us to be really angry with gentle people. Every time I see their innocent eyes, all the anger will vanish.
We will be curious, what has such a gentle person experienced to be so kind?
Such a gentle person will be considerate enough to make you feel unreal, but meticulous
In fact, when a person becomes very gentle, he often goes through three stages. Just like practicing an avatar, if you don't survive three stages, you will fall into endless darkness; Once you get through it, you will be born again.
The first layer: extremely simple kindness.
Every gentle person is essentially a kind person. Before they became gentle, they were simple and extremely kind to people.
People on this floor don't know what cheating means, and they don't intrigue. They think everyone is as kind as themselves.
Therefore, such people are the easiest to be bullied. That is what we often say: "people are good at being bullied, and horses are good at being ridden."
There are two kinds of gentle people. The first one is well protected and doesn't know the darkness of the world. I don't know if I have accumulated several generations of luck in order to get such a return.
Therefore, most gentle people often belong to the second kind: see all the darkness in the world, then struggle alone and finally become calm.
The second layer: after tasting the human pain, wandering on the edge of darkness.
Compared with ordinary people, extremely kind people get in touch with the dark side of the world more easily and quickly.
I thought that all people in this world would be as kind and gentle as themselves, so after tasting the pain in the world, they would be more sad than ordinary people and more difficult to heal themselves.
When we bless others, we often say, "May you be treated gently by the world."
But when a person is really gentle, he often doesn't get a gentle return, and even hurts the other person through his kindness.
Kind people are often more sensitive, so these injuries will make them feel more painful.
After repeated injuries and suffering, I began to wander on the edge of darkness.
Either fall into the abyss of endless darkness and become a person who is no longer gentle; Either see the world completely and become a numb person from now on.
Or, start to enter the third stage.
The third layer: sublimate yourself, control yourself and have inner balance.
A kind person will sublimate himself and become a gentle person from now on if he does not fall into darkness.
Therefore, most gentle people are people with very strong hearts. Because they all went through a painful time.
If you can't stand it, you will fall into the abyss; After living, it is rebirth.
Just like the rebirth of a phoenix, it will experience burning pain before rebirth.
After rebirth, they are still kind. It's just that it is no longer that kind of simple and extreme kindness, but another kind of kindness that despises the prosperity of the world, a kind of kindness with a bottom line and principles.
We gave them another more appropriate word: tenderness.
After getting through it, they can control their emotions and balance their hearts. They know that there are many dark sides in this world, but after experiencing the second layer of pain, those darkness can no longer stir up inner waves.
This is the second ending of a gentle person.
Concluding remarks
When you meet a very gentle person, please don't try to hurt them with their kindness, because it is very likely that they came from the darkness.
Or you can try to return it gently, and you will find that they will cherish it immensely.
Whether being treated gently or cherished is a great blessing in life. Why destroy it?
Finally, I wish all those who read this article: "May you be treated kindly by the world for the rest of your life."
What does a person have to go through to become gentle? 3 "I lied to you. I never liked you at all."
"I know, in fact, I already know."
Looking at him with a crooked head and a full face of doubt, I was surprised to open my bright Kazilan eyes and blinked, and my little heart was pounding. At this moment, I know I can't go down any more, or I will lose.
"In fact, as early as three months ago, I found that you lied to me. Actually, you don't like me at all You will always treat me as a spare tire and a cost-effective Huang Jinyu in your fish pond. You are Neptune! "
"What about you ... you're not stupid."
"No, I was stupid."
Facing him, he bowed his head for a long time and raised his hand, which made me feel that he had become a little dim, lost his attraction and could not see his radiant side. At this moment, he is no longer the humorous, confident and lovely teenager, but more like a child who has done something wrong and doesn't know how to face it. I miss the beauty of the past, I curse my futility, knowing that this man doesn't like himself, but he just can't resist the temptation. Looking back on his routine of fooling me now, I not only sigh that he is really a master of love.
My memory
I still remember that six months ago, the first time he attracted me was to post a film review in the WeChat circle of friends. It happened that this film happened to be what I had seen and published. His works are very attractive to me. I noticed him at that time, but I didn't respond.
What attracted me for the second time was that he published an article about the scenery of R city in the circle of WeChat friends. I happen to be studying this field, and I like R City very much. When he published it, I was traveling in R city to do research. He will be full of praise and comment on the beautiful photos I posted in R City. After that, he will talk about the relevant contents and precautions of going to R city tourist attractions on WeChat on average three times a week. I found that his hobbies are similar and his views on some events are similar. As time goes by, we chat more and more frequently and the content is more and more enjoyable.
In the face of his request, I agreed without hesitation; In the face of his invitation, I gladly accepted it; In the face of his help, I accepted it frankly. During this time, I admit that our relationship is approaching the ambiguous stage, and I find that I am a little degraded. I think I probably like him, and I am confident that he likes me, too. But for the next three months, the truth hit me in the face.
I found that he has a bad temper and likes to curse when he is in a bad mood. I found him stubborn, knowing that he had done something wrong and unwilling to bow his head; I found him very strong and couldn't stand my accusation that he liked to go back; I found him very selfish, so I took a little joke seriously. I found him impatient and always answered questions in a few words; I found him very insecure and always set a routine to test me; I found him lazy, and he didn't even fold his own quilt when eating and taking out. I found that he likes to be duplicitous. On the street that day, he obviously wanted to care about me, but he insisted on caring about the car. I found him speechless, obviously trying to say that I am good to you, but I have to say that I lost.
I think he's cute. When I express my affection for him, he will be as happy as a child. I found that he was too proud to stand my refusal. If he refuses, he will be invincible. I found that he is actually a outspoken person, and what he said is very tasteless; I found him fickle, and what he refused a second ago was done in a moment; I found that he wouldn't persist and would give up halfway when he met some difficulties. I found that he is the wind and won't stay for anyone at all. I once read a passage on the Internet: When a person doesn't like you, all you see in him is personality. I didn't believe it before I met him, but now I do.
After I clearly realized that he didn't really like me, my inner castle seemed to collapse. When I heard from him again, I was no longer the silly girl with a big smile on her camera screen, the silly girl who sent him a long list of words after receiving the message, and the silly girl who made a wild guess because he didn't return the message for half a ring. Instead, I don't want to go back, vent, or scold him. I don't know what kind of mentality I should use to face him now, and I don't know what his real thoughts are, but I am sure that I can't make myself wrong any more, I can't deceive myself any more, and I must end this wishful feeling.
His excuse
"So, I was framed by you? The purpose of asking me out this time is to let me refuse you! " His deep and gentle tone pulled me back from the dreamland of memory, and I clearly looked at him and those eyes that revealed pity. I don't know why I have an impulse to cry.
"Otherwise? Continue to deceive yourself and pretend to be an ignorant little white rabbit. " I fought back my inner desire to cry and then pretended to be fearless and calm. "You are so boring."
"That's interesting, what do you mean? Are you kidding? You are cruel. You bad woman, give me hope again and again, and then let it burst again and again. "
At the moment, his mood fluctuates a little, and I can obviously feel a breath approaching me, and my chest feels stuffy and a little breathless; Even though there is a table in front of me, I am still a little scared and my movements have become a little overwhelmed. What's all over my face? Why did you suddenly change your face? Is he complaining to me?
"Ah, every time! I hate to think of you as an ignorant little white rabbit. Don't you know what you have done? "
"no! I ... what did I do? "
"You really are a goblin who will torture people. Lure me into your sweet trap step by step. You voted for me again when I came in. I am ... really ... I guess ... I can't guess you? "
Seeing that I was silent, he turned to look at the natural scenery outside the window and felt the spring breeze from nature, as if washing his grumpy mood.
I'm beginning to understand.
At this moment, I looked at the sad, helpless and angry teenager as if I saw myself. I am as angry as he is now when I think of that ignorant girl in love and know that I have been cheated by a male god who doesn't like her. He's so much like me. We are all very sensitive, pay too much attention to our own feelings, but ignore each other's feelings; We are not good at expressing, dare not say important things, and listen too seriously when joking; We are all afraid of getting hurt. Once you find that you are not valued, you will immediately become a hedgehog and arm yourself, but forget that the other person was a friend who once talked about everything. We are all magnifying our efforts, but we can't see what the other party is paying; It turns out that in the emotional world, we are all selfish and blind. His appearance made me realize that I have never reconciled with my past self.
"Thank you, come to me. You are still that youthful teenager, so cute. "
I put my chin in my hands and looked at him adoringly. He was a little surprised and subconsciously bowed his head. I guess he is shy.
"Tell me, who is cheating who?"
I was a little proud when he asked.
"Does the truth matter? Take me home, this time I can send it downstairs. "
After that, I got up and left. We stopped talking and laughing on the oil parking lane painted with zebra crossing, just like a pair of new friends, chatting about things they like, colliding from time to time, smiling at each other's shining eyes, and then looking at the lights in the distance. At this time, I saw the light on him again, which seemed to be more dazzling.
In that light, I knew he didn't belong to me, I knew we met at the wrong time, I knew I couldn't help him, I knew I had to give him back to the crowd, or I couldn't grow up.
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