"Gold Medal Mediation": I no longer believe in love?

Netizens have read a lot of other people’s stories on the show. Every family has its own problems that are difficult to read. Today I will tell you my story, my marriage.

When he and I were 21 years old, we met, got to know each other, and fell in love. When I was 22 years old, he took me to his hometown (Gansu) to meet his parents. His parents felt that I was not good enough for their son from the beginning, but I was too stupid to know at the beginning.

At that time, I was too ignorant and didn’t understand marriage. I didn’t understand that marriage was a matter involving the other’s two extended families.

My hometown is in Hubei. At that time, my parents did not agree with me marrying in a foreign country. But at that time, I had a strong desire not to marry him unless I married him. In the end, I married him. When I got married, I only lived here in Hubei. A wedding was held on the other side, and no one from the man’s side attended our wedding.

At this point, I realized that my marriage was a wrong start from the beginning.

After getting married, I became pregnant and had our lovely son. When our son was about to be born, I was lying in bed with a terrible stomachache. At this time, my family was still at the door of the hospital and said that they would ask me to leave (divorce) after I gave birth to the baby. At that time, I thought that I only wanted the father of the baby. It's enough that he loves me and will always protect me. He is not afraid of his family's opposition to me and will not shake my determination to live a good life with him!

But at that time, he did love me! At least for me I think so. After the child was born, we rented a house as a family of three. He went to work and I took care of the child. Everything was peaceful and stable.

But when my son was 4 years old, his heart was no longer in this family at all. He had an affair that year. This was nothing more than a fatal blow to me. I was suddenly in a foreign country. I felt helpless and had not dealt with the matter well at that time. I went to Wuhan alone to find a job.

When I first worked in Wuhan, I was not completely disappointed with him. As long as he repented, I could choose to forgive him, and I had been hoping that he would change his mind, and that he would take the initiative to contact me in Old Wuhan to admit his mistakes to me. However, I waited for two years, and in two years, there was no one from him or his family. Called me.

Finally, I really missed the child so much that I took the initiative to call him that day. I remember that I called him to ask him to apply for a divorce certificate, and he agreed. A few days later, he came to Wuhan. We went to the Civil Affairs Bureau, and we didn’t know what the status of our marriage certificate was. The Civil Affairs Bureau said that divorce procedures could not be done here, and that we could only go to the place where the marriage certificate was issued. , it seems because the Civil Affairs Bureau in Gansu was not yet connected to the national system, and there was no divorce certificate in Hubei.

After we came back, we went to Gansu to apply for a divorce certificate. When we got there, his attitude changed. He said that he was determined to repent, live a good life in the future, and go to Wuhan to work together. I stupidly chose to believe him, thinking that he was the only son in the family. I said that as long as you handle your relationship with other women and completely cut it off, I will still give you a chance. I also thought that if he followed me to Wuhan, his parents would not accept me even more. So I resigned and went to Gansu.

But what I didn’t expect was that he disappointed me so much and didn’t handle the outside affairs well at all. That woman kept calling me every day, and he and I didn’t feel the same when we got together after two years of separation. The warmth from before was so strange.

It was less than a month ago. He went out to drink with friends that night and on his way back, he fell down and he didn’t know where he fell. He suffered a comminuted fracture of his right foot and had to undergo surgery and was hospitalized for several months. I took good care of him, but I didn't expect that he would go find that woman on the first day he could walk on crutches. When he came back, he told me that she would not marry him unless he was there and that she would always wait for him.

He also said something that seemed completely unhuman to me. He said that I was his nemesis and that he would get into a car accident as soon as I returned to him. At that time when he said this, I completely felt that he was hopeless, and I didn't feel any gratitude at all.

Perhaps in his eyes, everything I did was done willingly, and it was natural for me to be nice to him. That time I made up my mind to leave him and asked for a divorce. He did not agree. He said that if his son was awarded to him, he would agree to divorce. At that time, I just wanted to leave him quickly, so I agreed to divorce. After completing the divorce procedures, I returned to Wuhan.

Their family supports our divorce. It should be said that they have been looking forward to our divorce for a long time. He himself told me this, saying that his family did not agree with my return. They didn’t accept me from the beginning to the end. They mainly disliked me for being too short for their son. I am 150cm and he is 180cm. The most adorable height difference!

Before, I also felt that I was not worthy of his height, but after Looking at it now, I feel that he is not worthy of me. How can a man like this who has no sense of responsibility or responsibility be worthy of being a father and a husband.

I finally escaped from this nightmare-like place, but after having a child, I still can’t let go. I will visit the child every two years. Sometimes I want to take my child to Hubei to play during the summer vacation, but they never agree. I usually call the child, and the child's grandfather also has strong opinions, saying that the child's poor performance is because I distract the child by calling.

So now I can’t call my child on the phone, so I can only go to Gansu to see my child.

I went there to look after the children in the first month of this year, and their family members gathered around me every day to talk about remarriage. This was something I didn’t expect. Later, my son told me that when I was sleeping with him that night, he said to me, "Mom, just give dad another chance." This is the situation I am most worried about. The child is already innocent enough, and I don't want the child to have any problems. Too much pressure and his childhood was inherently unhappy. I said, "Mom doesn't want to promise your father anymore. You will understand when you grow up." Now the child is 11 years old!

After a few days, I should go back to Hubei. This place has never belonged to me. The day before I planned to leave, the child's grandfather said that he could no longer take care of the child and asked me to take the child away. I agreed without hesitation. The child's grandfather was very angry when I agreed and immediately slammed the door and left.

I was sleeping with my son at night, and the child's grandfather suddenly rushed in and said that if I took the child away, he would not let me leave here alive. He said that the child was from their Wang family, and his surname was Wang. Why should I? Take the child away.

I was speechless at the time. When I met such a family, I really felt so desperate.

The next day, I left alone. I never want to go to that nightmare place again. Please also ask them not to mention remarriage again. I firmly disagree. Also, the child's household registration is listed in his grandfather's household registration book. The child's grandfather has always said that he is the child's guardian, and everything about the child must have his consent. I'm really speechless!

Now I no longer believe in love, I believe in marriage! My children are a strong spiritual support for me to live, and of course my dear parents, I can't let them do it for me Sad, heartache.

Liu Xiaohong, national second-level psychological counselor, observer of Jiangxi TV's "Gold Medal Mediation", deputy director of Parents Online Jiangxi Psychosomatic Health Consultation Center, chairman of Nanchang Hetang Huakai Social Work Service Center, Hangzhou, Jiangxi Province Vice president of the Chamber of Commerce, cultural consultant of Jiangxi Celebrity Painting Academy, and spiritual growth consultant of Jiangxi Fuhui Home Culture Communication Company. He is good at psychological counseling on marriage and love, parent-child relationships, family therapy, interpersonal disorders, etc., and is good at counseling teenagers on pre-examination anxiety, personal physical and mental growth and other issues.

The following is Teacher Liu Xiaohong’s reply

Dear:

Frankly speaking, your love and marriage story is nothing new and cliché. The world is changing dramatically, but you are still living your life clinging to the past.

In the rapidly changing digital age, our computers, mobile phones, and lifestyles are being upgraded. Our thinking and concepts must also be upgraded! I think it is very necessary for you to "brainwash" at the moment. "Next, let me talk to you about how women in the new era can grow themselves in marriage and love.

First, upgrade your mindset. You went from love like a moth to a flame to "I foolishly chose to believe him" to "I don't think he is worthy of me" to "Now I no longer believe in love or marriage." Your one-dimensional thinking prevents you from seeing the whole picture and the truth. A person's inner growth lies largely in the upgrading of his thinking model. When you look at a problem, the more angles you have, the more freedom you have.

So, why not tear down the wall of thinking, look outside the problem, regard yourself as an observer, and look back at this tragic comedy, what new insights will you have? If you regard this marriage as a Open this big gift package that God has given you. What gifts have you received?