Joke Collection Website - Mood Talk - How do you get married without knowing each other?
How do you get married without knowing each other?
1. Don’t know what to do after getting married
What do men and women do on the night of the wedding?
Friends, if you are not married, then I don’t know that we can understand. If you are married, ask this question. .?
What to do? According to national regulations, sex does not belong to sex during the bridal chamber. This problem is half solved, so what will be done? According to zoologist, cats will be called Spring at this time (bridal chamber time is usually in the middle of the night), so if cats are called Spring, it is even more important for humans to learn, so we think:
One: Blow out the candles to prevent a fire from happening later. Firefighters will be dispatched to break the world between the two!
Two: Play with Zhu Bajie carrying his wife on his back to make your lover more excited
Third: Take off your clothes and admire each other, because you have never seen it boldly before, so you can rest assured at this time Look!
Four: *** Hey, this night, the thing you want most has arrived (if you don’t have this idea, I suggest you.)
Five: When you’re done, hand the red to** * , you can rest!
Thank you!
2. I am getting married and I still don’t know what to prepare. What should I do during the wedding ceremony?
Sweetness, longing, anticipation, nervousness, anxiety, and hecticness.
All these emotions mixed together have made you dizzy.
Sit down now and let’s make a wedding countdown plan together. I believe everything is under control. A.
Six months before the wedding, you should do the following 8 things: (1) Decide on the wedding date. (2) Decide on the wedding format and budget.
(3) Draft the guest list. It is best to think about it thoroughly and then filter it. (4) Decide on the wedding photo location and photographer.
(5) When choosing a dress or purchasing fabrics, you might as well listen to the designer’s opinions. (6) Arrange your honeymoon trip. If you need a passport, you should apply now.
(7) Get a pre-marriage check-up, and you might as well choose a fitness plan for yourself, and work out unremittingly to feel good at the wedding. (8) Start decorating and decorating your new house. This is where you should spend the most time.
B. Three months before you get married, you have to do 5 things: (1) Buy wedding rings and jewelry (2) Try on the wedding dress, and you can change it if it doesn’t fit.
(3) Choose accessories such as veils, shoes, bags, and wedding cars. (4) Do a full-body beauty treatment and consult on what daily maintenance should be done within three months.
(5) Apply for air tickets or train and boat tickets for your honeymoon trip C. Two months before getting married, you have to do 4 things: (1) Choose a makeup artist and hairstylist, and try on the outfits.
(2) Take wedding photos. (3) Determine the best man and bridesmaid, and note that they should be unmarried men and women.
(4) Carefully choose several sets of underwear for yourself. D.
One month ago, you have to do 4 things: (1) Send an invitation to the officiant. (2) Determine the details of the wedding and think about whether there are any omissions.
(3) Determine the on-site photography and video personnel, and fully communicate with them. What they will create will be your lifetime memories. (4) Purchase items needed for honeymoon.
E. Two weeks ago, you have to do two things: (1) Do all the confirmation work, including: banquet, number of people, on-site photographers, makeup artists, and wedding cars.
(2) Send out wedding invitations and notify guests to confirm their attendance. F.
A week ago, you have to do 3 things: (1) Prepare your honeymoon luggage. (2) Decide on one person to handle matters such as returning things or settling accounts after the wedding, and gradually separate from the role of project manager.
(3) Relax yourself as much as possible. G.
On the day before the wedding, you need to do 3 things: (1) Get a hand beauty treatment. A pair of beautiful hands can bring you unexpected happiness. (2) Take out all the clothes you will wear tomorrow and spread them on the back of the chair.
(3) Eat well and sleep well. H.
On your wedding day, there is only one thing you have to do, and that is enjoy every moment! Wedding Invitation Wording Formal invitations follow a fixed wording format.
The more dignified and formal the wedding is, the more formal the wedding invitations should follow: 1. Use the full name: no nicknames or abbreviations of the name should be used.
2. Write the order of family members clearly. 3. The word "和" should appear.
4. Write the date, week and time clearly. 5. The year does not have to appear on the invitation.
6. Attach the location and chronological order of the wedding banquet in the corner of the invitation or attach a separate page to the card to explain it. Did you hear that clearly? Don’t write it wrong! Beauty Tips for the Bride The wedding day is the most important day. The bride must be beautiful, but don't overdo it.
So here we talk about the aspects that the bride needs to pay attention to when it comes to her beauty and make-up. First of all, one month before you get married, you should go to a beautician and ask them to help you choose the cosmetics you need, and also ask them to help you put on makeup in advance. This can avoid you feeling that the cosmetics and effects are not good on the wedding day. You should also ask a barber to do your hair first to see the effect.
Then, one week before the wedding, you should take care of your hands, trim your nails, apply some hand ointment every day, apply more before going to bed at night, and wear cotton gloves to sleep. Because many people will see your wedding ring on your wedding day, and it will look unsightly if your hands are rough. During this time you also need to trim your eyebrows and clean your teeth. If you don't often wear high heels, try them on for half an hour at home every day from now on, otherwise your new shoes will make your feet hurt on your wedding day.
On the day before your wedding, you need to trim your nails and then apply nail polish. Pay attention to the color of the nail polish to match your lipstick and use the same color, clothes and shoes before trying them on. At the same time, the inappropriate parts can be modified. On your wedding day, before going to make up, remember to put some eye drops into your eyes to keep your eyes bright and bright all day long. When eating, be careful that the oil in the food will melt the lipstick.
As long as you are fully prepared in these areas, you can be a beautiful and charming bride! Eight things to note when choosing a bridesmaid. Is it a little nerve-wracking for you to choose who to be your bridesmaid? Then the following 7 factors can make it easier for you. 1. Family first. How is your family relationship? If your sisters or sisters-in-law have a good relationship, why not ask them to be bridesmaids? 2. Not returning the favor. There is absolutely no need for you to invite her to your wedding just because she invited you to her wedding.
3. Location factor You have to think about what the bridesmaid will do for you. Do they simply provide you with moral support, or do they hope that they can become your right-hand assistant? If it is the latter, then you should not invite friends who live far away or are too busy.
Because they may not be able to help you do these things in time. 4. Don’t be stingy. Don’t exclude some friends because you think they may not be able to afford a dress.
If the friend you want to invite happens to be short of money, you can also spend your own money to buy a dress for them. 5. Male Bridesmaids Bridesmaids do not necessarily have to be women.
If your best friend is a man, don’t immediately label him as a bad candidate. Many current escort teams include members of the opposite sex.
In this case, the men on the bride's side are called the bride's best men, and the women on the bride's side are called the groom's bridesmaids. 6. Other things You also need to realize that your friends can do other things at your wedding, such as reciting poetry, distributing program schedules or letting them sing for fun, etc.
7. Release the news. Once the list of bridesmaids has been decided, it can be announced. The only bad thing is that the co-worker who was invited took it for granted that she was going to be the bridesmaid.
Don't worry about hurting her feelings. A sincere friend will eventually understand any decision you make. Once you've made the decision, cross it off your seemingly never-ending wedding list.
The task is completed one by one. A reminder to the groom: The groom should get married immediately after the engagement.
3. My boyfriend and I got married, and I don’t know how to do that in the wedding room (please teach me)
1. Both parties should take a bath, and of course the lower body should be washed as well. Qian Jing. This is the etiquette between husband and wife!
2. Don’t be too proactive the first time. It’s better to be affectionate and silent. Being too proactive the first time will make men think that the woman is not serious.
3. Do some foreplay (that is, Kissing, being touched), all women have to do is cooperate!
4. Men usually do it for you when you take off your clothes. Of course, you’d better not wear clothes that are too difficult to take off before sex, otherwise the foreplay you just cultivated will be wasted on getting to know the clothes. No sexual interest at all! Of course, what women have to do is to cooperate with men's movements. For example, when taking off clothes, in order to make it easier for men to take off their clothes, they can put their hands straight toward their heads.
5. Don't be too nervous, relax. Yes. To cooperate with the man, generally the best position for the first time is: man on top (that is, the woman lies on her back, her legs are naturally spread apart, and her feet are bent a little so that the vagina is somewhat apart, so that it will be easier for the man to enter. If the man also If you have no experience, you can guide him to enter with your hands.) Of course, one thing to note is that you must wait until your lower body is wet before letting the man enter, otherwise both parties will feel pain.
6. When After he enters, if the woman has sex, she should call it out appropriately to encourage the man!
You can learn other skills slowly in the future. I wish you good sex!
4. How to make a nuisance in the wedding
Not only does it make the family happy, but the relatives and friends who make the bridal chamber also take the opportunity to make a fuss and use various new tricks to make the bride and groom feel trapped. "Chou Cheng" couldn't laugh or cry, the latest twenty-eight tricks for making a bridal chamber, the bride and groom took it: The first trick: On the wedding day, the bride is wearing thin clothes. During the bridal chamber, the guests can think of ways to let the newlyweds play a punching game with each other. If you lose a punch, you will fade away. Wear one piece of clothing or jewelry until you can no longer take it off.
The second trick: Drinking a glass of wine with high heels. Encourage the bride to let the groom express his deep love for her by asking him to drink three glasses of wine with high heels. The third move: Knights of the Round Table: Let the bride and groom sit on the table with stools and drink the concentric wine.
The fourth trick: the apple of love. In order to express the endless love, the bride is asked to peel the apple and feed it to the groom. However, the peel of the apple is not allowed to be broken. If it is broken, the bride will be punished by kissing the groom for ten minutes. The fifth trick: I want you to be good-looking and ask the groom to guess the color of the bride’s wedding night. If he guesses correctly, the bride will present the treasure. Just reveal a little bit to indicate that the answer is correct. If he guesses wrong, the groom will only wear the bride’s wedding dress. "You can also be naked if you want" and run three times around the bridal chamber.
The sixth trick: The enthusiastic ice cube first asks the groom to hug the bride. Then, two or three friends pour the crushed ice cubes prepared in advance into the groom's arms, and then everyone hugs the newlyweds. , let the new groom enjoy the coldness and jump up and down to avoid being overly enthusiastic when consummating the marriage. The seventh trick: Ambush from all sides: Find a way to sneak into the bridal chamber in advance, hide in a corner or closet that is not easy to detect, and then turn the pre-recorded alarm whistle sound tape to the highest volume and play it at the right time to scare the newlyweds. Jump, and the hidden stakes hiding everywhere run away together, making a fuss in the bridal chamber, and wishing the newlyweds "a child soon."
The eighth trick: Love Balloons: Place a few balloons under the bed sheets, and ask the bride and groom to lie down together to express the steadfastness of love and to survive in adversity. The ninth trick: Chocolate cheongsam. The female guest of honor puts chocolates into the bride's cheongsam. "The bride must be sitting down, of course," and then asks the groom to pick up all the chocolates. Otherwise, the groom will be asked to use his mouth to retrieve the chocolates one by one.
The tenth trick: crispy chocolate. A female friend uses chocolate juice to squeeze out a heart-shaped sweet *** on the bride's chest, and then asks the groom to lick it in public to show that they are in love. Tip 11: Lock the bridal chamber. Lock the bridal chamber door in advance, hide the key somewhere or with a friend, and let the groom look for it. Every time he can't find it, the bride must let the guests kiss her again until she finds it. .
Twelfth trick: The crystallization of wrong love. Deliberately put a borrowed baby on the bed to cause a brief misunderstanding. Tip 13: Reenactment of old love requires the newlyweds to perform the most realistic original scene when proposing in public.
Tip 14: Warn the runaway wife: Hide the bride somewhere and let the groom look for it. He will not be allowed into the bridal chamber until he finds it.
Tip 15: Old love lingers. Both the newlyweds must reveal the number, appearance, and experience of their past boyfriends and girlfriends. Otherwise, they are not allowed to sleep on the same pillow.
The 16th trick: Birthday horoscope: The groom is asked to guess the correct lunar calendar birth date of the bride. If the answer is wrong, he will make a horse and let the bride ride. Step 17: Speechless. Buy a copy of "Look at the Joke" published by Clarion Press and use the innovative riddles in it to test the couple. If they cannot answer the question, the male guests will each kiss the bride for one minute.
The 18th trick: The game of "gesturing" to test the tacit understanding between the two parties. The more embarrassing the question, the better. For example: You are still *** Virgin? Her measurements? do you love me? I will wear red today and go to bed at twenty o'clock. You are very beautiful today (no condom required) and so on. Tip 19: The mole of love. I heard that there is a mole three centimeters above the bride’s belly button. I don’t know if it is true. Can I ask the groom to reveal the mystery to the bride? The 20th trick: Re-enacting yesterday requires the couple to re-enact the dating scene in front of everyone, including making out, hugging, holding hands and other actions until the guests are satisfied.
The 21st trick: The seven-step poem is composed from head to toe and each organ of the body. Two people take turns to write poems or lyrics, such as chest: have a confident mind; the examiner is the guest, assuming that the guest does not If you are satisfied with the answer, you can ask the other party to kiss that part! The 22nd move: Pepper flying into the sky. Mix pepper into the fireworks in advance. When the bride and groom enter the bridal chamber, the fire will be fired fiercely, and the consequences will be dealt with. No. 23: New measurements: The groom must wrap his hands around the bride's body measurements and make sure they are perfect. If there is any error in any measurement, the groom will be punished by holding the bride from the front and walking around the bridal chamber three times with her mouth connected.
The twenty-fourth trick: Spring mud protects flowers. In order to show the groom’s love and friendship for the bride, the groom is required to wrap the two of them with a large scarf in public, and put the bride into simple home clothes. If there is any abnormality in the dress, the groom will immediately Three drinks as a penalty. Tip 25: Love gummies require the groom to hold wedding candies (jellybeans) in his mouth and give them to the bride. He has to eat thirty pieces a day. Of course, the groom can help the bride eat them. If the groom doesn’t eat them, the other Men can also take the place! Step 26: Three-inch golden lotus. The groom is asked to guess how many centimeters the bride’s feet are. If he guesses wrong, the groom is asked to wear new high heels and walk around the bridal chamber three times.
Tip 27: Spring has love. In order to show that the groom is strong and capable of running the family in the future, the groom is required to carry the bride into the bridal chamber and walk five times on the spring bed. The bride is not allowed to fall off. If the groom If your physical strength fails, other men can do the work for you. Tip 28: Prepare a few joyful love songs for love song singing. The guests will take the lead in singing, and then the groom or the bride will take over. If someone sings incorrectly or cannot sing well, the bride will be punished by a kiss from the male guests, and the groom will be punished by drinking three drinks. Cup, YA!.
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