May you stop panicking at any age.

Haruki Murakami has an essay called Nightmare of Middle Age, which was published by Stephen Dixon in Gentleman magazine. The story is about the love between a 4 12-year-old single writer and a 21/kloc-0-year-old female college student, and finally the bitter abandonment caused by the age of the female college student. Although Murakami's words and emotions are well controlled, Stephen Dixon's topic remains in my mind: hey, at your age ... "Hey, at your age" is really a sentence with endless meanings. A kind of disapproval and rejection of one's age, an age itself controls one's sadness and helplessness, so there is no need for too much description, and there is nowhere to hide in your sigh and breath. In fact, people who haven't had a few nightmares at their age are really not enough to talk about life, but some people have been entangled in it and can't go; And some people wake up and go forward, that's all. I thought of this article because just today, my middle school classmate sent a WeChat in the circle of friends: This is the last twenty people born in 1987. When I wrote a summary today, I found that soon after, I introduced my age, which started with the word 3, and I didn't seem to be afraid. After all, over the years, I have achieved many dreams on the list, and I am also making unremitting efforts for many unfinished dreams. I wanted to write a lot of chicken soup, such as "I hope you are brave, strong and kind in front of the years", but after thinking about it, I only replied to her: not being afraid is the best gift of time. When I was just 20 years old, I was in a panic. A popular word at that time was "Ben San", which seemed to be eager to announce that I started with the word "2" wherever I went. I didn't want to explain what I had, but it was full of deliberate avoidance. In those years, I always said at my birthday party, "I am old and one step closer to the third year of high school." Therefore, many people laugh without saying a word, and it is a tragedy. On graduation day, my father and I walked out of the hotel. We didn't take the bus, we walked all the way. Father said, "Today I finally got a chance to express my thoughts. Over the years, you have been saying that you are old, unintentional or intentional, and we all treat you as a child's nonsense. But from now on, when you enter the society, you must swallow this sentence and rot it in your heart. At every age, doing your own thing is your best memory of this age, so there is nothing to panic about. " Father walked slowly when he said this. He has never been so harsh, and the words are spit out sentence by sentence. But he has a temperament as a man and an elder, and I naturally feel it. Father is a very peaceful person, sensitive to the world and has his own attitude towards life. Less than fifty years old, he is a small leader of a state-owned enterprise. Although our family is not rich, we also have food and clothing. In the wave of state-owned enterprise reform when my father was fifty years old, he was laid off with all the employees. Being laid off at the age of 50 is actually a huge blow to my father. There are still ten years to retire, which is not only a gap in identity, but also a kind of helplessness. But my father seems to be in no mood. He always smiles every day. In his words, "the enemy will block and the water will cover." Soon, he found the position of chief financial officer in a private enterprise. In order to make my sister and I live a good life, he also took the initiative to read the recruitment information, applied for financial consultants, and worked part-time in his spare time. Later, I asked my father, "Do you feel embarrassed when you apply for a job? Because you must be the oldest one. Although you are old, your education is not high. " Father said: "Yes, the age is basically far ahead, and the boss is not as old as me." There's nothing to be afraid of. The worst result is not being hired. "In fact, life is not so terrible. All the panic is that you have corroded yourself from the heart to the hectic appearance. Your growing age will not disappear because of panic, but if you have the courage to face it, it will be ashamed. The so-called unhurried means that you can constantly enlarge your inner universe every day, and you can ignore time and regard it as nothing. Say the most common thing. About last month, when I went back to my mother's house, I saw an old neighbor and was in a particularly good mood. She sat alone in the alley, with a photo frame and reading glasses, watching her all the time. Her wrinkled face and satisfied smile are still clearly imprinted in my mind. I thought what precious oil paintings made the old lady fondle admiringly, but a closer look really scared me. This is obviously an enlarged photo of her for later use. In the photo, she smiled at her in front of her. I was particularly sad at that time. I can imagine that this photo has been deserted since it was hung on the wall. I greeted her politely and then left behind her in a hurry. However, she grabbed my hand and said, "am I quite energetic in this photo?" "Do you think it's better than me?" My hands are a little shaky. I know my panic has spread to her. She asked, "Why are you shaking all the time!" "I said," well ... you always hold it. Do you think it's abnormal? " Unexpectedly, she gently spread her eyebrows and revealed a faint smile: "There is nothing to be afraid of living to my age. Death is a matter of time. You young people, too, have nothing to be afraid of after so long! " I saw her squint, then put the photo aside and turned on the radio next to her. The radio station sang a little play in her hometown. Although she couldn't find the tune, she hummed happily. There is a classic line in The Big Bang Theory: From today on, I will actively accept everything, accept love, accept challenges and embrace life. No matter what happens, I will bravely accept it. After this year, I will be thirty years old. Although many of my wishes have not come true, I don't know if they can come true, but I have accidentally entered the next decade. But so what? After many years in the society, I began to know that if I am healthy, my family is alive, and I have no worries about food and clothing, it is fortunate to have three or five confidants; One, or two, is also good; If there is nothing, I will always hold your hand. Everything will change with age. Some things may be uncontrollable, but as long as you live bravely, everything is the best. The most comfortable way for you to get along with life is never confrontation, nor is it always equality. It's not who scares who, who fears who, but that you can be fearless in the long years. Then, at your age, at my age, live in peace with the years. I accept its passing, and it also accepts my appearance. I wish you no more panic at any age. Please work hard, no matter how cruel the world is. 1 In my life, I know a small number of "hardworking" girls. In front of outsiders, she is a "female man" who dares to do anything. When their names are mentioned, others will say, "Oh, her life is very rough. I don't like being a strong woman who is competitive. "These girls have a hard life. They don't rely on others to grow up. They seek their own dreams. Of course, there will be sighing voices around laughing at them, such as "I can't get anything from my efforts anyway", "She might as well marry a girl anyway" and "There are too many unfair things anyway, and I can't do it without hard work". In fact, these minority girls are getting stronger and stronger. Lisa, a 22-year-old girl, was admitted to the South China Editorial Center of a column group of CCTV after graduating from college. When she went to college from a small city in the south to a big city in the north, some classmates would laugh at her, and when she heard the ugly words from outsiders, she also laughed it off, because at that time she had no capital to fight back. When she was in college, she spent a lot of time alone, practicing dancing alone, practicing Mandarin alone, running alone and interviewing alone. These countless times alone made her miserable, but there was nothing she could do. She said that since she chose to stay in a big city and be an independent girl in the future, she would certainly be able to withstand the current test. After graduating from college, Lisa's family advised her to go back to her hometown to work, but Lisa didn't want to. She doesn't want her youth and blood to be trapped in an uncompetitive small city. Lisa told me that maybe she would go back to her hometown to work, but before that, she just wanted to live for her favorite youth once. Now, Lisa in the photo is tall, smiling and confident, and has a media job that she loves, because she comes from a single-parent family and knows that she works hard to avoid being bullied. A reader born in Ningbo on February1993 told me that as a girl, she lived so hard because she didn't want to be looked down upon by people around her and felt that she was just doing what a girl should do. Because the Han family is a bit patriarchal, she has two sisters and a younger brother. Born in such a family, fools deeply feel that a girl works hard to survive, even if she doesn't depend on others in the future, she will live a wonderful life. In the year of college entrance examination, Daidai failed to enter an ideal university, and finally chose to study English in an ordinary university. When she first entered the university, she was as confused as many classmates, asking herself again and again what to do in the future as a girl from an ordinary family. The confusion that lasted for a month made her suddenly realize that her ideal was to be an English teacher. Later, Dai Xiao made a university plan for himself. She will study hard to get a scholarship, read books in the library every Saturday and try to translate short foreign literary works. On sundays, she will practice oral English alone in the garden or pavilion. After graduating from college, she worked in a foreign trade company and worked hard in the workplace every day in formal clothes and high heels. It's just that after working for a long time, my boyfriend broke up, and her boyfriend's cheating made Dai Xiao more certain. She had to improve her height and meet someone of the same height. Dai Xiao resigned after working in a foreign trade company for half a year and became a teaching assistant. She found herself living too comfortably without competitive pressure and resigned after a few months. Finally, she chose her favorite kindergarten teacher industry. Now, Dai Xiao teaches English to children in an English school and has obtained the qualification certificate of English translation. What he is doing now is to keep reading every night, teach himself guitar and get an English interpretation certificate. 3 Girl Xiaoyan is an ordinary girl from rural Shaanxi. At the age of 20, she is trying to get into junior high school. Xiaoyan is self-abased and introverted because she was adopted by her parents, not born by her parents. Her childhood was spent in farming, taking care of her siblings, doing housework, feeding pigs and herding sheep, all of which rural children should do. After going to junior high school in the town, Xiaoyan once bought gifts to take home to her parents. However, when she got home, she was disappointed. Her parents are getting divorced. Xiaoyan also witnessed the process of their fighting and smashing things. Even her frustrated father said something that hurt her heart, and actually let Xiaoyan go out of this house to find her biological parents. Xiaoyan was very sad after hearing this, so she ran to the backyard and cried loudly. Xiaoyan's mother came to comfort her after seeing it. Mother and daughter hugged each other and cried. Xiaoyan's mother said a lot to her, making Xiaoyan feel that her mother cares about herself, and her father just said angry words. Xiaoyan hopes that her parents will not divorce, and the family will live with Mei Mei. After entering high school, Xiaoyan was most moved by her parents' persistent companionship when she was seriously ill, which made her moved and blamed herself. She has grown up and let her parents worry about themselves, but she can't bring them happiness. After Xiaoyan went to college, she was only admitted to an ordinary junior college because of her limited family conditions and ability. At school, she also strives to improve herself and become excellent. Although she failed in the scholarship competition and took two certificates before she got it, these did not prevent her from pursuing her dream. She is about to graduate from college, but she is not busy looking for a job. Instead, choose the college entrance examination and give yourself another chance. Because she doesn't have a good background, she has to work hard to create the future she wants, even if she may fail, but at least she has struggled without regrets. In this article, the girl Lisa is my hometown, and the girls Dai Xiao and Xiao Yan are my readers. I write their stories just to tell you that success is temporary and uninterrupted for women. Learning and growth are compulsory courses for girls all their lives. A person's hard work doesn't mean that he stays up all night studying and forgets to eat and sleep. The efforts of boys and girls are to make life more exciting, regard study as the basis of realizing dreams, add icing on the cake to ordinary work, and expand their interested abilities and hobbies on weekends, such as painting and calligraphy, flower arrangement, fragrance and tea ceremony. Some people say that some people now like to push girls to such people as "strong women" and "female Altman", and think that girls should not be as careless as Mulan. In my opinion, girls' efforts can make life not only revolve around men, children, daily necessities, but also enrich their own lives, make monotonous life colorful, and have their own specialties, hobbies and careers. Women and children work hard to win more chips for their later life, because they can read books at night without makeup, or they can be gorgeous. They know at what age and on what occasion to show the most suitable and beautiful themselves. When I was studying and working, I saw their hard work and felt that they were "invulnerable". However, when they wear crowns, crystal shoes and gorgeous dresses, you will also sigh that she is worthy of the name and can afford it today.