Going against the sky again! Mom, if you hit me, it will be strong, but opening a window will be boring.

Introduction: In the class of the head teacher in junior high school, I am reading a horror novel. Just when I saw "a ghost hand reached over ...", the class teacher reached over and stole my mobile phone. I grabbed a compass and tied it up reflexively. I will never forget the sad eyes of the head teacher.

1, the sparrow went to the pedicure and asked Miss Parrot: Does foot washing count? Theory counts? Miss parrot said: nonsense, of course forget it! The sparrow rushed to the door and called, Brother Centipede, come in. I said look at someone else.

The doctor confessed to the priest: I had sex with three of my patients. Can God forgive me? The priest comforted him: it's okay. There was a doctor who came to confess before, and he had a lot to do with patients. Oh, is he also a vet?

Yesterday, my son did his homework very well, so I praised him: My son is really good and has made progress, and he will always be a good son of his mother. My son looked at me in surprise and said, I don't want to be a child! I asked with a smile, why do you say that? The son said in fear, what did you call me? Is it because the monster's son is called a demon? Students will ignore me! ! ! I'm dizzy ~ ~ ~

Have you ever been afraid of your wife? B: Yes ... Can you tell me what you fear most about your wife? B: I'm most afraid of my wife leaking air. ...

5. Dad taught his son Chinese and asked him to compose words in bird language. Son: Bird hair. Father: Yes, again. Son: bird head, bird sound. Father: Yes, the last time. Son: Birdman. Father: Good. Can you make sentences with these words? The son looked at his father: you are a bird. You don't have any bird hair. You shake the bird's head all day and talk about birds.

6. A buddy in the dormitory chatted with his classmates on the phone and asked him what his major was. His classmate said that he studied law, and then this guy came with this sentence: Are you going to be a mage after graduation ... a teacher? ...

7. "Wife, I'm back!" "No, my husband is back, Lao Wang, you hide first, hurry up!" "Nothing, I'll open the door!" Lao Wang smiled calmly! "ah! Lao Wang, what brings you here? Let's go! My wife is still here! You come later. "

8. The school has a great test paper. The above question asks: If you are a swift horse, how can Bole find you! God replied: ouch!

9. In the news a few days ago, my wife was pregnant and could not have sex with her husband. My wife bought an inflatable doll for her husband, and forced her husband and the inflatable doll to complete the task every night to prevent her husband from cheating during pregnancy, so she was relieved. After reading it, I feel that this woman is really refined!

10, "Xiao Ming, why are you late again?" "I found 100 quick money on the road and returned it to the owner." "That won't take half an hour!" "They hit me for almost half an hour before I gave it to them." "... you ... get out of here ..."

1 1. A mother and son met on the bus. The boy was about 6.7 years old. The weather is cold, the child wants to open the window, but if it can't be opened, let the mother open it. His mother said it would be boring if he couldn't open it. The climax came, and the child said that if you hit me, I would be full of energy, and opening a window would be boring.

12, I suddenly understand why people in China watch so many mobile phones while eating. It is entirely because western food generally requires two hands to use tableware, while Chinese food has a completely empty left hand, which is very suitable for watching mobile phones while eating. National pride arises spontaneously.

13, interview with classmates. Michel platini helped me pave the way. I'm just a formality. I didn't expect my classmate to be admitted ... after I came out, I couldn't control my emotions. I pointed to my classmate and scolded him: "You have to look like you and have a figure. What do you see in michel platini? " Why use you instead of me! "My classmate patted me on the shoulder and said," Are you michel platini? That TM is my real father! "

14, daughter: mom, this is the exam paper, with a score of 90. Mom: Tell me honestly, did you add the last zero? Tell me honestly, mom will give you 100 yuan. Daughter: OK, Mom, I'll tell you the truth. Actually, I added nine. Mom: ...

15, a beautiful woman secretly loves my boyfriend. Beauty: Handsome boy, can I have your mobile phone number? My boyfriend refused decisively, and I felt so hung up in an instant that I turned around and told me that I would not buy my mobile phone number. I have used this number for several years, and I have just charged the cost. And then I got confused.

16, a friend of mine has pimples all over his face. One day, on a whim, he caught more than a dozen mosquitoes, starved for a few days, and then held the mosquito wings with tweezers close to the acne. Then the mosquito struggled for a while and began to suck blood. A few minutes later, his face was covered with mosquito spots. The next day, his acne disappeared ... the past. ...

17, last time I went to the grocery store to buy water, I saw a drink called scream. It sells for 6 yuan at a glance. I asked my boss: Why do you sell six dollars when everyone sells four dollars? He said: if you drink it, you will scream. I don't believe it. I bought a bottle, and after drinking it, I screamed, "Boss! You are fucking water! ! ! "

18, walking down the street one day, I saw a couple dawdling and kissing, but they didn't kiss for a long time! That woman kept insisting that it was my first kiss. No kissing! Labor and capital can't stand it! Kissed the woman and said, okay! It's not the first kiss! You can kiss now! ..... Please call me Lei Feng. ...

19, my buddy is crazy, and his wife has no choice but to send him to a mental hospital. After half a year's treatment, his condition improved. After he was discharged from the hospital, his brother changed to the Book of Changes. As a result, he became nervous again after half a year, and his wife cried into tears ... After a friend pointed out, he said that there was a monk in a big temple. If we can ask him to practice, his illness will certainly be cured. His wife really invited the monk with a lot of money-as a result, the monk saw my buddy as soon as he entered the door. Without saying anything, he kowtowed to ya and called the master, saying that he had found the master after looking for more than 60 years! His wife was vomiting blood. ...

20. One day physical education class was free, and he became addicted to smoking. He ran to the sparsely populated toilet in the library and began to smoke. Just then, suddenly the biology teacher came in and we looked at each other for a few seconds. At this time, my brother immediately took out a cigarette and handed it up to the teacher. At that time, he was a little scared. I didn't expect the old man to pick it up and light it. Tell us slowly that we should pay attention to smoking in the future. Other teachers are not as accommodating as me. ...

2 1, once I went to the red light district with my friends, and I happened to meet my father-in-law when I was about to go upstairs. After we looked at each other for a few seconds, I quickly took out my mobile phone and said, "Hello! Mom, don't worry, dad's not here! I'll look elsewhere! " How gentle my grandfather looked at me at that time!

Goddess: Please call me Queen. Diaosi: Eight Empresses. Goddess: What about you, pig? Just two words. Diaosi: Tortoise!

23. When I was a child, every time I watched TV, there was a woman disguised as a man, and then others always treated her as a man. It's ridiculous to eat, drink and sleep together. Can't you tell at a glance? I don't understand until I grow up now. Who will say such a good thing? Ancient people all had great wisdom. ...

24. My father taught me: "People only live once, so we should cherish it." I said, "Don't you know how to cherish it if you lose it?"

25. The position of the king of durian fruit is like this. Durian: "Come to me if you don't agree with me as the king of fruit!" " Other fruits covered their noses and stepped back.

26. My boyfriend ignores me when playing LOL. I learned to play ball in order to have the same hobbies as him. It's been three months now. He's got three coppers, and I've got five golds. After he just discussed with me, we should communicate more together and play less games. ...

27. Two children in kindergarten fight. The teacher said to the first child, don't show off in an ostentatious manner. Now I'm going to call your father. "The little guy listened to Lala's sleeve and said," Don't call me dad, I can take care of him myself. You'd better call his mother in case I don't know him when his mother comes. "

I saw a girl playing with plants and zombies. She put nuts behind the gunman, so I asked her why. She said the stone looked silly and I wanted to put it in the back to protect it. After listening to it, I suddenly felt deeply. If I can't play, I can't play What are you selling?

29. I went to apply for a customer service job for a treasure today. The manager told me how fast I can type. Let me have a try. I just sat in front of the computer and haven't typed a word yet. The manager said yes. Seeing that your left hand is consciously placed on the three keys of QWE, I know that your hand speed is definitely fine. Happiness suddenly came!

30. I dreamed that I was sentenced to death. The policeman asked me, "Tell me your last wish." I thought about it: "I don't want to die." The police immediately patted me and said, "If you say it, it won't work.

Editor's note: My best friend and I went to find a house to rent. I saw the phone number posted on the wall, so I called and asked, Hello, do you still have a house for rent here? It was an old man who answered the phone. The old man said that the house was rented by his son and his son was not at home. The girl asked again: Do you pay monthly or quarterly? The old man replied: I am his father.

Famous sayings of Magu _ Famous sayings about Magu

What is there to worry about? Yue: I spilled mud on the lotus leaf by mistake. What is the division? Yue: Grab the steel knife and kill the lotus root silk. What's not worrying? Yue: When I was here, I was covered in catkins. What is the division? Say: untie the golden bell in the department again. What does it mean to miss your troubles? Yue: Spring silkworms make cocoons and bind the whole body. What is the division? Tell everyone: the candles are completely sold out when they turn to ashes. Get on my nerves? Yue: There is no glaze cloud, but there is rain. What is the division? Say: A tree without flowers is empty. What's bothering me? Yue: The lowest thing is to fight for the drum table. What is the division? Say, well, we can push the boat with the current. What is self-annoyance? Yue: Drill elm and burn trees. What is the division? Said: Frozen water becomes ice without waves. What's the difference, trouble? "Yue general grinding ink is too white. What is the division? Say: the rouge you bought is red. What is suffering? Yue: My heart aches when I see it. What is the division? Yue: Aunt Ma's back itches and scratches. -Shen Qifeng's Dojo and Baby's Conversion to Buddha You were born rich or poor. " Zhong easily thought about it and said, "It seems that a new heart for knowledge is in full swing, and this heart will be born in the future. The pursuit of the unknown, the desire for knowledge, this is the instinct that people have since birth. Who told you that was Gerry's instinct to kill by heaven? "

"If you have something to learn, you can call it something that can erase your instinct to pursue the unknown and desire for knowledge. When you can be firm, you can think about it. When your instinct is called, the seeds will come back and your age will be different. It is also like breaking a cocoon into a butterfly. " Speaking of which, if you watch it for seven nights, you can think about it and be more gentle. If you have it, you can think about it and be more gratified. -Seven nights in the clock "Buddy" Mochow has been in a bad mood for five years, and there are three questions about drunkenness. At the end of Zhen Xuan's resentment, he refined the pipa sentence by sentence. This is a wonderful marriage. I have misspelled this word for three years and have never seen it. Which side do you want to dream about? If you see Magu's face at night! Delay, what can I say about this? Fry, first three, then four. Have a nice day!

Liang da Jin Niu

Have a graceful demeanour and stay lonely for thousands of years. Willow sent her soul to hope that her husband and aunt would melt the frost. The heart of the chivalrous man, Jun Qing, will be in the east corner of the building, waiting for Sangyu's chaos and gentleness. Who said it was half vague, and he exclaimed in waves? As a general, I will make a fool of myself. After bathing in the sun and moon, I want to go for a ride.

Did you catch six turtles? The pole grazed the coral. Sang Tianqing asked Ma Gu. Shui Piao receives water every day. Is that a kettle? -Nalan Rong Ruo's view of Sanqingshan sea of clouds.

The man on Song Road is called Sanqing, and the man on the mountain faces Yujing. The dangerous peaks are scattered with clouds, and the cliffs are spectacular and breathtaking. Ge Hong shook an alchemist and worried about Yuxian's feelings. The emperor played chess late, but he didn't know there was thunder outside the clouds. You can live in this fairy mountain, why fly to Kunming to the south? The Queen Mother Magu has many banquets, and the lonely Yao stage becomes an empty court. Every time there are frequent guests scrambling to climb, they have lost their way back. 3. The lofty things are beyond our reach. -Song Hao Hao "Selected Poems and Songs of Song Hao Hao" The battle in the daytime can be short, but it is difficult to go for a hundred years.

The size of the sky and the length of the land cannot be robbed. Ma Gu hung up her inner temple, and half of it was frosted. The eldest son was angry with me when he saw himself in public. I want to take Liulong back to the car and hang Fusang. With the help of the Big Dipper, every dragon advised them to drink a glass of wine, so they all fell asleep and couldn't stay awake. Prosperity is not my wish, I just want to keep time for the people and stay young forever. -"A short song gives birth to heaven" Bai, a fairy girl in Jingnan, came to hold the daughter of Tang Dynasty. She was brilliant when she realized the Tao. The year of Emperor Li was a big day for her husband to live a long life. She was good at playing the pipa. She dreamed of going home all night, and saw a fairy in feather clothes in your silver palace, calling herself Magu and spreading music. Naturally, it became my dream to meet, which is to teach music. If you go beyond the grid, you will get more than a hundred tones, which is naturally not owned by the world. Stranger still, a famous mouth refers to a merchant playing a song with one finger.

He developed a set of suitable literature (called Dangkai in the south), Li Zi Bao Festival. After dreaming of Ma Gu, he naturally said: I should be invited. Tomorrow, the imperial court will smell the joy of clouds, and the fairy will go abroad and die. -"Spring and Autumn for Home Expensive Land" Dianthus

The clear voice is blue and yellow, and the door is soft and clear. After flowing away, thousands of feet rocked the dragon like a storm. Trees in Yun Sheng are like snow and birds are like oil. Ten thousand, a thousand, more than a thick reflective wall. Occasionally, I will hold a lamp under the mat and open a floor for me alone. Ma Gu refers to many things, and when the pavilion comes out, it becomes a wall. I lean on the road, just fight and get drunk. Think of Lai Bai, think of Zhong You, * * * will never flow, and Yin Qing Pavilion will admire its appearance. -Zhu Zongyuan's "China Painting and Calligraphy" Jiang Ziya (also Donghua Emperor, estimated to be Mu Gong's successor)

Penglai's three immortals: Fu Lushou's Samsung, Tiandi, Yang Cheng of the Western Han Dynasty, Zhao Gongming, the God of Wealth of Tangyang City, and Fan Li, the God of Literature. The birthday girl, the Antarctic fairy Weng, is the female birthday girl: Emperor Magu Zhenwu, also known as the founder of the Nine-Day Demon Descent and Marshal Xuanwu. Prince Xiao Zhang, the second commander of tortoise and snake (also known as Taixuan Water Mirror, black spirit worships God, Taixuan Huochi, static spirit worships God), the mother of five dragon kings, and the dragon king of Zhenyuanzi: Ao Guang | Aoqin, South China Sea Dragon King | Aorun, West Sea Dragon King | Jinghai Wu Wang, with low willows and moss in front of the window, remember beginning of spring.

Boarding alone at night, the scenery in the building is comfortable Natsume covered it, sailed far through it, and cut the lotus in half with a rustling sound. Endure autumn weeds, jade muscles and bones, tender face has not been obtained. Magu, don't say great changes, blame him for dust changes. I feel a lot of stars and frost, but I don't feel sad. I am used to being alone. Looking back on the past, I have turned my back for a long time, with tears in my eyes. Ask Lu Gu, rhyme picks misty rain, why ink becomes a book. -Although the fog and rain are far away, the elegant rhyme is lighter than that of Nong Yu Butterfly. The ninth floor of Kunlun Mountain is magnificent in Miyagi. After the past, I will try to be a child, which is really a gift for Yu Shun.

Li Chengzuo, the foolish old man, took him back to the fairy home. People walk on the second floor, and the music is boiling. Pei returned to Fusang, filled with hate during the day. When Jade Bird didn't come, Ma Gu broke the letter. It is true that the sea should live in peace with the road, but who can feel it if it is shallow? There are several thousands of feet now, and the second city Yao is going to has this road. I once saw Prince Zhou, playing the trumpet under the peach blossom. -Bao Rong's "Two Poems of Huaixian" is pitiful, so I think if I read it, I will still compare me to a tree.

The bronze fairy went to the country for a thousand years, and Jinse stayed for five years before entering the people to recognize the strings. It was yesterday that the north wind sounded, and I went to Zhengtai to shake my hair and remember that year. Penglai was weak and then merged with the people, shallower than it is now, and lost to Magu. -Cao Xinghua On that day, I inexplicably dreamed of the mansion where I lived when I was young-it was the mansion of a large family in the south in the old days, with white walls and blue tiles, towering horsehead walls, exquisite stone carving masters and stone windows. Because of the age, the white wall was smoked with a little black smoke, smudged like ink, elegant and indifferent, and the beautiful wooden beams that the Eight Immortals crossed the sea and dedicated to Ma Gu's birthday carving were supported by plum rains and stone windows. -the floating picture "Nong Ben Affection"

The mountain gas in front of the mountain gas gate is gradually scarce, and it is easy to think that the mountain gas is still open and can be resurrected. At this time, Ma Gu found that if the snow only diffuses, the first thing he can learn is to overflow the monks, including planting a bunch of steamed buns and dancing with the wind, and there must be no white fragrance in ten strokes.

Legend has it that in the Wild Goose Lake, where Tibetan commander won the tenth walk, there is a small thing to do. When will the owner win the hero's victory, you can only fight for it in the farming year, and you can fly like a bird when you reopen it, just like a cheetah can fly as fast as during the day. You can go to the right person to farm, and you can go to the west without watching the rain ... A man in a woman's heart, a caring teacher who only looks at the ground, will be limited to beauty and strength. What kind of monk do you grow? Is it like the inner heaven is opened again? If you come from salt lake, you may go to salt lake. ......................................................................................................................................

Although the country is right, you can open your mind to the west and you can do well. The appearance of that year was the same as Ma Gu's consciousness, but at this moment, such close-up appreciation rewarded her visual impact. This is still not the first thing for the country to do. If it is opened again, it can withstand the pressure of ten countries. Only people can see the beauty of learning and the sound of things. You can plant a brake and walk in your heart. You can only play with idioms you know. Earth Year is not the beauty and custom of the world. The child traveled around and won a beautiful place. You are, that is, you didn't divide all the paths the child walked in the inner room, which is not enough to describe. -"The Year of the Country vs the Dragon Demon Monk" only asks children to buy sea from Magu, and a cup of spring dew is as cold as ice. -Gong Shangyin

Ma Ma said: How can I provoke her during the rebellious period? How can she annoy me in menopause?

1, don't be intimate with people who don't know yourself, you will get hurt.

2. The more you look at your lover, the more you like it, the more you can't put it down and the more satisfied you are.

If you can find someone who loves you more than me, I will let go of your hand.

Learning to look down on some things is the best protection for yourself.

What you spell is very different from what others send to your mouth in meaning and value.

6, years are good, butterflies love branches.

7. When your father named you, he didn't expect to be bound by one person for many years.

8. Mom said: How should I treat her in the rebellious period? How did she treat me during menopause?

9. Think clearly about what you want, choose and cherish it, just like your marriage.

10 Please give me a little courage, give me a little courage not to think about you.

1 1. Without you, I want to escape from my shadow.

12, people always want ghosts and gods to know when they do good things, but they always think ghosts and gods don't know when they do bad things. We are too embarrassed.

Mom, I made a boyfriend in kindergarten. I hope you like it.

Guide: Watch TV with my 5-year-old nephew in the evening. There is a knowledge contest on TV. The host asked, "Who discovered gravity?" I replied casually, "Newton." Little nephew reminded: "Keep your voice down, don't let them hear you."

1, go to the library to borrow books and want to borrow Lao She's Divorce. Two staff members of the loan department were chatting, and I said, "Comrade, I need to borrow a book." The man said coldly, "What do you want?" I said, "I want a divorce." The two men said in unison, "What are you doing here after your divorce? Go to the Civil Affairs Bureau! "

My son hasn't written home for a long time after he was admitted to college. My friend gave me an idea, saying that you should write him a letter, saying that you put 1000 yuan into his bank card. I asked, "So he can write home?" The friend said, "Sure, but you should forget to put the money into the bank card."

3. In love, in order to please the nurse's girlfriend, I sent some fruit to my girlfriend and brought a bunch of roses. Who knows that my girlfriend is giving infusion to the female leader of the company and hit it red-handed. Female leader: "Why are you here?" "I ... I came to see you, fruits and flowers." Female leader: "You are finally willing to send me roses. You know I've always admired you. Can I only confess when I am sick? " Nurse: You are really something.

4. Stripper: Our business is the least cost-effective. Doctor: Why? Stripper: We show it to our guests for money, and we show it to you here for money ... Doctor: ...

5. My mother tried to beat me again because I didn't do well in the exam. I retorted, "If you think beating me can improve your study, why do you need a teacher?" Can't you learn from dad? He gives oral education every time. "Dad also advised mom:" Yes, he hasn't changed every time you hit him. Is it my turn to beat him this time? "

6. Eating with friends, except that I was drunk, only I paid the bill ... The second time I learned to be smart, I pretended to be drunk almost at the same time, and these fucking bitches took out my wallet.

7. A group of partners went swimming at the seaside. I didn't change my bathing suit. I think there must be a changing room in this place. When I got off the beach, I found there was no place to change clothes, so I quickly went back to the car to change. When I was struggling to change my bathing suit, a woman kept staring at me and asked me, Do you always stare at others to change clothes like this? She asked: Do you always change clothes in other people's cars like this?

8. "All the problems in this world are alternatives, that is, the chances of success are greater than we thought." "What about pulling the calf? An ugly one and a handsome one, let you choose to get married, and the ugly one will take a 50% chance as a spare tire for life? "

9. Today, many people looked at me with smiles. I thought I was handsome. Look back. Back to the dormitory, I found my pants on backwards.

10, baby: Do I still eat that? Mom: You ate too much today. Stop eating. Baby: I must eat it. Mom: That's overdue. I can't eat it. Baby: I like to eat expired food best.

1 1. The tortoise is ill, so I asked the snail to buy medicine for me. Two hours have passed and the snail hasn't come back yet. Tortoise: Shit, I'm dead if I don't come back. At this time, the snail outside the door said, TMD, scold me for not going.

12. Some people sell the secrets of getting rich in the market. Lao Wang spent 300 yuan to buy three secrets, namely, guarding the house, not getting drunk and getting rid of the roots. He went home and opened it. One secret is diligence, one is to leave early and the other is diligence.

13. Go out to play with my girlfriend today. My girlfriend wants to take a picture by the pond where goldfish are kept. As a result, the mobile phone accidentally fell into the water. Me: Fuck, I got paid last month. My girlfriend looked at me. Me: Fuck, next month's salary.

14, my girlfriend and I live in a rented room outside, and we are going home for the Spring Festival soon. Girlfriend should bring a computer when she comes home for the New Year. So I asked, "Daughter-in-law, don't take your computer home. Your smell is on the computer. I can't bear it. When I see the computer, I will always think of you. " Daughter-in-law said, "You idiot, don't you want my taste?" Ok, I'll throw all my underwear to you when I leave. I smell it every day when I am away! " Look at your little promise. "

15, male: "Why don't you like makeup?" Female: "Inner beauty is the most beautiful" male; I heard that you have a younger sister who is a little beautiful. Woman: Yes. M: Next time you go to your house, ask your father if he wants to marry his little daughter. Woman: You are a little greedy.

16, I found my wallet missing on the train. This train will take about 30 hours. What should I do? Forget it. I can't help it Ninja, the guy across the street asked me why I didn't eat when I was eating. I'm embarrassed to say that. I just said I can't eat on the train. Alas, I am too greedy. I finally got off the train and waited for my colleagues to pick me up at the hotel. I have nothing to sort out the package.

17, I just chatted with my colleagues, and everyone was very excited to discuss poor travel. I asked, "Why do you travel in poverty?" They said, "Experience life!" At this time, the supervisor gave them a white look and said, "You are already very poor, so you don't need to go through it. Poverty is your life. If you go out to play and spend money on a deep and luxurious road trip, this is called experience. Experience means experiencing something you can't touch at ordinary times ~~ "Damn, the supervisor is so cruel ~ ~

18, Mom: The baby is 4 years old. Happy birthday. Make a wish and blow out the candles. Baby: Mom, I made a boyfriend in kindergarten. I hope you like it.

19, I came home from work last night, waiting for the traffic lights, and I happened to meet a stupid new driver at the intersection. I walked so hard that I turned red in just a few seconds and went straight through. Directly turn red. Awesome! Such novices are rare! I was drunk when I met such a fierce soldier. ...

20. When I went to buy steamed buns, a buddy in front of me held them and said, Boss, it's cold ... Boss: Try standing here naked in the cold. ...

2 1, living on the second floor of1,the elevator broke down these two days, so I was too lazy to go downstairs on weekends and ordered McDonald's takeout for two days. It's the same big brother who delivered food for two days. The next day, big brother gasped and said that he would try KFC tomorrow. There seems to be a new product. ...

22. True story, I did a bad thing yesterday. Yesterday, I went downstairs to stutter at the beef stall, and I got a rancid smell. I decided to pay the bill and threw up, wasting 7 yuan to pay for my stomachache. At night 1, I saw more doctors coming back and passing by the stall, and they were all closed for a rest, but the stove (made of tin box) was still outside. I immediately went upstairs and wrote a line with paper and pen: Celebration, 50 cents a bowl of beef offal. Go down and stick it with 502 glue. I didn't get up in the morning and heard something below. I went out and saw many people around the cowshed.

23. Call my mother and ask me how much I earn this year. I told her not to spend all her time in Qian Qian. I said you should care about my girlfriend! My mother said you talked about girlfriends, and I said no! My mother said she didn't talk about girlfriends. What else can she ask you if she doesn't ask you how much money you earn? For a moment, I couldn't refute …

24. In primary schools; When your classmates see you; Hey, have you finished your homework? After junior high school; Hey, do you have any money? After high school; Have you ever been to college? When I was in college; Do you have a boyfriend? Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, you're exaggerating.

25. I went to work in the workshop during the winter vacation. Yesterday, the master taught me to explain the welding background. Anyone who has welded the helmet knows that the lens of the helmet will become unclear after a period of time. (I always use the old lens) I always feel that the light is too dazzling when I change the new lens. I asked the master to try it. The master took it and tried it. After more than ten seconds of meditation, he said: the camera is fine, and it has always been clear. Suddenly it's not suitable for switching to HD.

26. The girl and her father went shopping ... Dad: I can buy whatever I like ... Finally, the girl bought four sets of clothes ... After going out, a sister paper whispered: This mistress is really ugly!

27. The signature of a good friend of mine was updated to: I told my son that I would need some money to come back for dinner at the end of the year. Son said you can't just ask?

28, the computer keyboard is broken, and my girlfriend bought the keyboard online. I received the express yesterday, huh? There are two. Then I told my girlfriend, look, the shopkeeper gave me an extra one, cool! As a result, she said she bought two, one for backup! As a result, I knelt on the keyboard today, and I knew what backup in her mouth meant! ! !

29. In winter, the couple quarreled and had a cold war for several days. Husband, topless, kneeling on the keyboard, holding a horn, shouting to his wife downstairs, wife, I was wrong, can you forgive me? "Wife, look around downstairs, you can't lose your husband's face." I am a paper tiger. "

30. Wife: You should chew this dish slowly. Husband: What's the matter? Wife: so I can taste my cooking, help digestion and help me find out the needle that fell in. ...

Editor's note: Xiaoming has a bad cough recently. Grandma said to Xiaoming, "Good boy, cover your mouth with your hand when you cough." Xiao Ming replied to grandma: "Grandma, don't worry. It doesn't matter if you don't have to cover your mouth. I promise my teeth won't fall out.