What about the children who grew up under the pressure of their parents?

My seventeen-year-old daughter has been depressed for three years. After dropping out of school, I failed to return to school, my studies were hopeless, and my future was worrying. Being able to lead a normal life is my goal.

The father, who believes that "Huang Jing is a good man" and hopes that his daughter will be a phoenix nirvana, bought a lot of test questions for his daughter and brushed them over and over again, making young children feel anxious and threatening to commit suicide.

In the past five years, the father insisted that his daughter must get excellent grades and be admitted to a key middle school, otherwise she would be beaten.

Children are naive and stupid, thinking that they will be killed and their lives will be in danger. I'm scared all day. Every time I take an exam, I want to run away from home or commit suicide. Later, it developed into test anxiety, and it was impossible to walk into the examination room for half a year.

Slowly, completely collapsed, surrendered, and left the key classes of key high schools. From then on, it is difficult to return to a normal life track.

Parents still have to force their children, do they want chickens?

Physical and mental health is the best education and the biggest future!

Children who are physically and mentally healthy, have stars in their eyes and mountains and seas in their hearts can live up to their dreams!

Strict education is education without temperature, and it is difficult for children to feel love and attention. Especially for young children, children in early childhood are a single mode of thinking, and they can't understand that their parents love them but scold them. This is a way to express love. Even we adults will stay away from overly demanding love or care, not to mention underage children, whose hearts are unbearable.

Strict education will also cause problems in children's personality, personality, behavior and various values after adulthood. Let's analyze it in detail:

First, it is easy to form a ruthless character.

Strict education often makes children feel less warm. Living in a strict environment for a long time will make people heartless. They can't understand or even accept the love and care given by others. Their character is also cold and heartless.

We often see some people who never talk about family and friendship, and have no love and sympathy. In this way, their lives will always be stuck in a lonely state, with relatives far away and no friends. In this state, they will be more ruthless and will always be in a vicious circle.

This is the result of his lack of attention, tolerance and understanding of love in childhood and the strict rules and regulations in his growth, which made his life ruthless.

Second, it is easy to go astray.

In 20 10, the China Youth Crime Prevention Research Association conducted a nationwide sample survey of juvenile delinquents, and found that parents are too strict with their children, which is the most important reason why many children go astray.

Many children in primary and secondary schools will be paranoid, unruly and willful during the rebellious period, and some parents will strictly discipline them in a simple and rude way. Even some parents will curse their children and say anything unpleasant to them in order to alleviate their anger, such as "not learning well", "going to jail sooner or later" and "why live and die". Some harsh management methods have seriously dealt a blow to children's self-esteem and self-confidence in this period, and aggravated their rebellious psychology and behavior.

Third, bad stimulation makes behavior problems more serious.

Excessive harsh criticism and harsh criticism make children suffer too much bad stimulation, and when parents' benign encouragement and support are too little or no, children's behavior problems will be strengthened, thus aggravating children's bad psychology and bad behavior. Some children will "break the jar", run away from home, commit suicide and some anti-social behaviors, until they break the law and really embark on a road of no return, and their lives will be subverted.

The results of the "National Sampling Survey of Juvenile Delinquency" show that as many as 42.3% of children express "hate their parents". Speaking of which, what is the reason? The proportion from high to low is "don't understand me" (50.7%) and "don't care about my psychological feelings" (46.6%). "Don't let me do what I want to do" (45.6%) ...

Therefore, in the face of severe parenting style, it is necessary to use it properly and moderately in order to play a good role. For children, what they need more is parents' unconditional love and care, tolerance and acceptance, trust and support.

Looking at my colleague's son, he was the first in his class when he was a child, and fell to the bottom in his high school class. My attitude towards my daughter's education has gradually changed!

Colleague and sister, with a bad temper, are strict with their children since childhood and are famous in our unit. But it was obvious to all that his children had good grades at that time.

Several women in the unit are about the same age, and the children are not much different. Her son is two years older. At that time, he was in primary school, and every exam was the first in his class. When he wins the second place, he will be punished by her.

After every school mid-term and final exam, everyone will ask each other about their children's grades. At that time, she was always the mother of "other people's children" in everyone's eyes!

In everyone's envious eyes, his children are not so top-notch in junior high school, but they are also in the upper middle class.

She is strict with her son, and most other children go out to play with their partners after finishing their homework. But her children can't. After finishing her homework, she will make up some exercises. Once a child fails to achieve his goal, he will either fight or scold.

Once after school, I saw all the other students talking and laughing. Her child is sliding on the wall to go home, looking timid and distressed.

A colleague who was chatting at work once said that her child was doing homework alone in the room at night. She pushed the door in, and the child was hiding something in a panic. A closer look shows that there are answers behind the original problem set, and children are secretly turning over the answers when they encounter problems.

When my colleague saw it, he was furious and picked up a thick dictionary and threw it at the child's head. The edge of the book hit the child, his head was smashed and blood ran down his face. Later, the child was rushed to the hospital and it took two stitches to stop.

The key is that my colleagues didn't feel ashamed when they told me! Instead, I think it is good that he is strict!

Fortunately, however, the child was successfully admitted to a local key high school. After living in high school, children may be depressed for many years and begin to release themselves completely.

No one forces me to study any more. From the first year of high school, I learned all the way, and I fell in love. Colleagues are both hard and soft, but to no avail. In the end, I didn't even pass the college entrance examination, but I was admitted to an ordinary college. It's a pity. Later, my job was transferred, and I haven't seen you for many years. I don't know what happened to my children.

@ 丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫-What about the children who are forced by their parents now? From the example of my colleagues educating their children, I gradually changed my education for my daughter.

First, the principle is strict, but life is democratic. Principles are not discussed, such as returning early at night, doing homework first and then playing; When you meet other things, discuss the children as adults and let them have a sense of participation.

Second, play is a child's nature and cannot be controlled blindly. Playing is the nature of all children. When they are old enough to play, let them go out and play with their friends, even if there are contradictions between them. It not only exercises children's social skills, but also is a way to develop their intelligence.

Third, when I was a child, my grades were not so important. What was important was to form a good habit! As long as children's grades in kindergartens and primary schools can remain above average, it means that children are not stupid. When I was a child, I tried to help my children develop good study and living habits. After junior high school, parents will save much trouble!

The child is growing up. I hope all parents can learn and grow up with their children and become qualified good parents.

Parents should not force their children to study. Every child's flowering period is different, so we have to wait for the flowers to bloom. Children who are forced to study will feel tired of learning, some will be seriously depressed, some will even commit suicide, and some will even pay the price of their lives, which is not worth the candle.

Children are like trees in the forest. Some trees are suitable for making tables, some trees are suitable for making chairs, some trees are suitable for processing chopsticks, and so are children. Some children are suitable for learning, while others are not. We can let them learn a technology. We should accept the mediocrity of children, most of whom are ordinary people.

It is not necessarily outstanding people who live happily, but ordinary people who live unhappily. Everyone has a different definition of happiness. The child came into this world only through us, but he doesn't belong to us. He has his own life choices, as long as he doesn't regret it.

Children who are forced to grow up will not be happy in their later years.

I don't want to get married and have children when I grow up, and I feel that life is too hard.

It's sad to see this problem, because there are so many tragedies, including me and my children for a while.

I hope every parent can understand and remember that the child is an individual, he is not our private property, he is a living person with thoughts and feelings.

We have no right to let our children live according to our wishes, to choose a lifestyle that we think is comfortable, to choose a major that we think is good, to have good friends, or even to marry a good person. Remember, that's his life, not yours.

I saw Xiao Shede recently. Our family is very similar to Li Nan's. They have always believed in Buddhism, and their children have average grades, but they are lively, cheerful, independent and outgoing. My change is that when my child was promoted from grade four to grade five, he was called by his classmates to attend a parent class of a learning institution. I feel that my educational concept has been completely subverted. It makes me feel that my child is hopeless, I don't go to school, and I don't even have a job in the future.

I reported everything to the children in one breath. Send them to cram school early in the morning on weekends, come back to cram school homework, school homework, and buy them for their children. I am getting more and more anxious, and so are the children. But the result made me more anxious, and my grades not only didn't improve, but also declined.

Children must choose boarding schools until they graduate. I suddenly woke up. The child wants to alienate me and avoid his mother. I began to reflect, for two years, hysterically controlling children.

Now our family is calm again. The child chooses what she likes. You just need to know where I tell my children your bottom line is. If you are not sure, the child will talk to me and want my opinion. I think this is very good.