Resume 1 month: Say goodbye here. May the new year be better than the old one.

On June 8, 2020, I ended my trip to the northwest in 18 and returned to my hometown. There are always many milestone moments in my life, and I think this day is one of them for me.

My friend once laughed at me and said that my hometown was a drama. In fact, I haven't traveled the same way, and I won't have the same mental journey. It's really hard to put yourself in the other's shoes. It's just you and me in the world, so probably no one can understand. Did you give up? Of course, in the past 0/8 years, the best youth has been dedicated to that hot land, and it is not too much to look back for countless times in the rest of my life, but I have never regretted it, because every time I look back, I have my most sincere and fearless smile. I have lived in those countless moments with real enthusiasm, so I have no regrets. In fact, I know that once I leave, I can only leave myself and my temper, so I don't expect that land to remember me. People who meet me will think of me occasionally. From the beginning, a friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, without excessive enthusiasm or deliberate alienation. So many people who didn't have time to say goodbye walked a little free and easy.

But I am still grateful for everything, and this gratitude is just right but has penetrated into my heart. Some things, some people, are clumsy in their mouths, but they remember in their hearts that they always feel warm even if they carry heavy loads. I still couldn't control myself halfway, and I met many people. However, as an optimist, I always have a hope, as if this hope is pulling me forward. Fortunately, every journey seems to be accompanied by noble people, so even if it is tortuous, I can finally achieve my desire.

In a strange place, the new environment is good for me. The local accent has not faded, and Mandarin and Hengyang dialect are fighting alternately. The smallness of the world makes me sigh that there are not many elders who can name my birth name. From their eyes, I can always see the little girl who was thirteen or fourteen years old in the past, always in a hurry and always eager to go further. Now it only takes half an hour to walk from home to work. Mom and dad have a rare little joy hidden in their cheerful smiles every day, but they are still not used to eating rice noodles and fried rice every day for a long time. They miss their hometown in other places, and their hometown misses their hometown. People are always in the besieged city, attacking the cities in their hearts one by one, falling down one by one, building a new one, and life goes on like this.

I will miss beef noodles, noodles and caviar, pot-bellied saute chicken, pilaf and barbecue, stewed chicken feet in the canteen, pumpkins, steamed bread and beans, fried rice noodles in casserole, maocai ... When I miss it, the past is around, so close but so far away.

Eighteen years, from Hengyang-Urumqi-Rem-Shanshan-Turpan-Hengyang, the journey has already completed a closed loop, from the starting point back to the starting point, reading thousands of books, taking Wan Li Road, with an open mind, probably not. Jing Yidan said: How many roads must be taken in life to determine the direction of progress; How many people do you have to meet on the road to know who to go with? If there were other coincidences in the selection of links in these years, it would not be the present situation. This may be fate. I walked back to the beginning. A friend said that it feels like a dream to me, and I often wake up in the morning a little confused. Who am I, where am I, and what am I going to do? Hit it twice, go back to the real world and tell yourself that I'm really back.

I have been looking forward to the Spring Festival in 2020 for a long time. After my father's accident in 2009, I never had a reunion year with my family again. Therefore, for the long-lost reunion after eleven years, countless pictures have been raised in my heart. However, the epidemic has given us another arrangement, remote video reunion. You never know, it's true. We are lucky enough to have a stronger desire to be together.

Three years ago, I wrote an 89,000-word documentary essay "The Way Home", which was later posted on the intranet of the system. Many unknown colleagues contacted me and said those words moved them. I often think of this journey again and again. No one's life is really smooth sailing. Perhaps meeting suffering and overcoming suffering forged our minds, gave us a different brand of life, and set sail again with a heavy load, which is the warmth we have always insisted on in a smile. There are too many difficulties to share with others, and too many helplessness and bitterness can only be enjoyed occasionally in the middle of the night, but I will never forget the strength of persistence at that time, as well as the stubbornness that cannot be profaned in my hurried footsteps. After many years, I let it go with a sigh, so I survived and my family was safe and healthy. It's good.

Unconsciously, I am still confused, lonely or worried, but my body and mind have become stronger and stronger with the past tempering, so I still think and think. In January, I took a few days off to learn dance yoga and met a group of yoga beauties with interesting stories. Everyone is carrying a heavy load, but they are all on the right path. I like this atmosphere and people who work hard for their dreams. Although I just stick to it silently as a hobby, I have quietly gained another outlet. Her beauty can't be brought to you by your lover, friends or family. It is a kind of instantaneous physical and mental unity and self-discovery.

When I woke up in the morning, I talked to my father about being together day and night these days. This is unprecedented. The family lives neatly under one roof, but this kind of family happiness is really rare. We have known each other for 16 years and became life partners 1 1 year. From twin cities to the same city and then to twin cities, life is inexplicably dramatic. However, walking is already like this, and we can't explain it clearly. Some things really have no choice but to bite the bullet and seize the moment.

After so many years, he is not the best but always the most suitable, no matter in retrospect or prospect. He doesn't want to let go of his partner or teammate. He said that in the past two years, we have become more and more tasteful in living in different places. I don't think it's the novelty of life changes, but more the firmness and direction of family, partner and life. This year 1 month, he finally got the tax accountant. He felt a little ashamed, but it was also a great contribution. In the past year, he studied with Eva and picked up books. During the rest days at home, he has been attacking long-term stocks, and there is a state of bullying. Instead, I forgot all about going back to learn writing for my children. I am absorbed in how to help them learn to cook food in different ways. I feel that I am missing, and I try my best to make up for it. However, people's energy is always limited. When I felt that the days passed quickly, I sighed and didn't leave any quiet time for myself. So at the moment, I can only wait for them to sleep and write some small words on the bed, but I'm not sleepy at all. Probably everything I want to do is energetic to finish.

The year 2020 is a new starting point for another Long March for me. I think I will, as always, live in the present, always be kind, sincere and enthusiastic, strive to balance work and family, and continue my physical and mental practice.

Goodbye, may the new year be better than the old one.

A new year, a new journey.

Seize every day and live it to the fullest.