Joking humorous sentences

1. Success is a relative term, which will bring you many unrelated relatives.

Success in life lies not in getting a good card, but in how to play a bad card well. When the mind tends to be calm, the spirit will last forever. Give yourself a smile. The sun is new every day.

One slip and he became a big cripple, and he turned around and flashed his waist.

Every time I miss a girl, I put a brick on the mountain, and the world has the Great Wall.

Don't say love to others easily, don't stubbornly open others' hearts, just make a joke and leave.

No matter how happy a bachelor is, he will get married sooner or later. After all, happiness is not permanent.

7. Drink a bottle and then look at the girl; Drink two bottles and start from the beginning; Drink three bottles to regain strength; Drink four bottles and hang upside down; Drink six bottles, walking on clouds; Drink seven bottles and have sex; Drink eight bottles, climax after climax; Drink nine bottles, drunk!

8. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every unsuccessful man, there are two or more.

9. The most painful thing in the world is that you are too ambitious to have the courage to start.

10. Love is like a photo, which needs a lot of darkroom time to cultivate.

1 1. I got drunk, came home dizzy, and threw up soon after I got home. The next morning, my wife said, if you eat out, just eat and drink. Don't go home and report what you ate.

12. When I got out of the carport and got the car, I saw no one around, so I bravely put a P, which caused a loud noise from the burglar alarm of the electric motorcycle next door.

13. Go to a friend's house to play. It happened that my friend's wife was breastfeeding, and it happened that the child refused to breastfeed. So he joked to the child: Eat quickly, or uncle will eat. Dare not see them.

14. At school, the school was a bungalow. School started in September, and many new students came. One day, a freshman seemed to be the class representative of a pile of homework and asked me, where is the math office? Next to the men's room. The math office is really next to the men's room, but on the left. The man went to the right side of the men's room and shouted at the door. There was a pause, and a voice came from inside. No entry!

15. I got drunk and urinated one day. Open the zipper in front of the urinal, hold down JJ, and then solve it smoothly. However. . I feel my crotch getting wetter and wetter. . . When I opened my eyes and looked down carefully, I found that I had just held each other's thumb. . . . . Silence. .

16. I remember going to college at that time and living separately from my boyfriend. I usually keep in touch with my mobile phone every day. One day, I called his cell phone and stopped. I happened to go downstairs to the grocery store to buy things, so I charged him one yuan. Unexpectedly, just back to the dormitory, my boyfriend's phone came. He said: Haha, I didn't expect there to be such an XB person in the world, and even the phone bill was charged to his mobile phone. I immediately hung three black lines on my head.

17. Dating my girlfriend, I saw someone in front who looked like my girlfriend, so I went up and patted her ass. She slapped me as soon as she turned her head. Then someone patted me on the shoulder, and my girlfriend slapped me as soon as I turned around.

18. In Grade Three, our history teacher is called Wen Jian. There was an emperor Wen Jian in the Ming Dynasty. One day in ancient history, a history teacher came into the classroom and said, "Long live my emperor! Long live my emperor! " (planned in advance, of course). Tough is the history teacher's calm answer: everyone loves Qing ~ stand up. Orz~ embarrassed ~ ~ the whole class is still standing at this time.

19. I have been running in the field of hope, although I occasionally stumble over disappointment.

20. God didn't give me much responsibility, but it still made me heartache and tired.

2 1. About tomorrow, we will know the day after tomorrow.

22. A man has some money in his pocket, but he will not be idle from the waist down!

23. Tongue is longer than teeth, and software is longer than hardware.

24. In the countryside, chickens call people in the morning, and in the city, people call chickens at night.

25. Girls care about happiness in the second half of their lives; Boys care about the happiness of the lower body.

Humorous quotations that play jokes on people.

2. My friend said: My girlfriend and I are estranged. I gave it to her below, and she said it was salty. She gave it to me below. I was afraid of acid for a long time, and finally understood.

God will certainly forgive me, because that's his profession.

4. The crowd searched for her for thousands of Baidu, and suddenly looking back, that person still disdained me.

The biggest church in the world can't tolerate your sins.

Everyone has a wonderful holiday, and I am no exception.

7. Time is like a river, the left bank is an unforgettable memory, the right bank is a youthful time worth grasping, and the middle is a touch of youthful sadness.

8. The so-called beauties are mostly slaves of cosmetics.

9. Wizard, please tell the princess that I'm still on my way, and there are snow-capped mountains, rivers, dragons, and beautiful women who have not been killed. Tell her to go back to sleep

10. Only when there was a real queue did I really realize that I knew the descendants of the dragon.

1 1. I eat porridge every day, but I'm not reconciled. I went for a walk in the vegetable market yesterday. I think I'll continue to eat porridge.

12. A long English kiss equals a choking loaf of bad bread.

13. The only way to occupy a man's memory is to live better!

14. My principle is: if people don't attack me, I won't attack; If someone attacks me, I will be angry!

15. I want the whole world to know that I am low-key.

Humorous words suitable for joking.

1. When I came out of the supermarket, MM sobbed and said to me: Even sanitary napkins have gone up in price these days, so it seems that I really can't afford my period.

I thought I was being sentimental, but it turned out that sentimentality was futile.

My name is him in my girlfriend's mobile phone, and I became it after breaking up.

I don't know much about music, so sometimes I'm unreliable and sometimes I'm out of tune.

My heart is broken. It looks like dumpling stuffing.

6. Shake like this and roll like this.

7. If you think too much, you will get hurt too badly.

8. An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again.

9. Why pretend to be pure when it's all water? Why pretend to be a sheep when they are all perverts!

10. Men have gold under their knees. I cut off my whole leg and didn't even find a copper coin!

Funny sentences that joke with girlfriends.

Funny sentences that joke with girlfriends.

1. Meeting you is purely an act of god. I fell in love with you with all my heart. Love, you have no regrets. I am depressed to miss you, but I am satisfied to get you.

2.？ I missed you secretly last night, and my dream was full of salty tears. When I woke up, what blurred my vision in my dream was a pillow of saliva.

3. Do what you should do, watch what you should see, and give you advice on what you should see, but it's not enough to give advice, and you have to hide in the dark to frame it.

4. You are lovely, pitiful and unloved; You are disgusting, loved and loved. You are smart, and you are the first to flush the toilet. You are very temperamental and irritable by nature.

5. My eyes are dim all day, I don't eat three meals, my limbs are weak, I don't know anything, my six parents don't recognize me, I don't know anything, I am imposing and sedentary, which is very useless.

6. Studying hard, tired, and paying tuition; I am not a scholar, but my parents forced me to come. I got a score in the final exam and the eggs and ducks rolled in. The teacher asked me why. I said for the next generation!

7. Four white bars: grass-roots police station, township tax office, bank credit unit and nude stage.

8. There are seven kinds of eggs in the world: eggs laid by chickens, exploding bombs, bastards who watch the news, idiots who laugh, idiots who are angry, bastards who scold me, and those who don't respond are finished.

9. Bend your back, bend your legs, break your spine, hit your head in the eye, cover your ass, get you a microphone, let you walk against the wall and vomit blood.

10. Everything is inferior, only power is high; There are never ugly men, as long as they have money. You are tall and handsome, and you are really lovable. Sooner or later, you will be put into a sack and thrown into the sea.

1 1. I hope you are happy. I happily covered myself with a quilt, dripping my nose, looking in the mirror, laughing and drinking water. I am happy when I think about it, and happy when I am unhappy. See you happy? I must be happy at this time!

12. The sea is all fucking water, spiders are all fucking legs, and peppers are so fucking hot. I don't fucking regret knowing you.

13. One person dies, two people are full of tenderness, three people miss each other, and four people are strangers to strange bedfellows.

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15. Every time I do my homework, touching my mobile phone is like eating dazzling chewing gum, and I can't stop.

16. think about it, I will be very happy from an old woman in grade three to a primary school girl in grade one.

17. If it were sentimental, it would be old and kill me long ago.

18. Remember, you have to live like a drug, either you can't afford it or you can't quit.

19. Love life with people who like you; See the world clearly with people who don't like you.

20. Use your time alone to make yourself better, surprise the people who come and give yourself a good explanation.

2 1. Always remember not to hold your head higher than your hat.

22. When you are tired, put your heart on the shore. If you are wrong, don't regret it. If you lose it, you will know that you are satisfied.

You don't have to worry about what you are afraid of, because it will come and leave as scheduled.

24. People who achieve great things often do small things seriously, and people who don't do small things seriously often can't do great things.

25. From this, I have come to an understanding that seriousness itself is a quality, and a person must have this quality if he wants to make a difference.

Humorous sentences that joke with girlfriends.

1. Even without the moon, my heart is bright. Friendship between people who like me and friends has always been better than love in my heart.

2. Be a man, just be simple; Life, peace is good. Life is like this, cherish it. You will always be your own protagonist. Don't always play a supporting role in other people's plays.

Do your best, don't envy others' happiness, maybe that's not for you. Sometimes, it is better to care less than to care more.

4. See the world clearly and fall in love with it. Crying is crying with joy; Smile happily; Open your mind while playing; Love is incisive, so there is no need to grind life.

5. Growing up is a process of constantly thinking that your former self is a fool.

6. Have a heart you want to have. It is not boring to repeat boring days, nor is it boring to do the same thing.

7. Forgiving others also makes you noble! I know I can't get it. I don't even bother to pretend to open a pub in my favorite city. There are homeless people in the guest room.

I don't want to ask about your past, that's your business. I hope to participate in your future. I'd love to. If I give up, it's not because I lost, but because I understand.

9. Brave because of strangeness, beautiful because of distance.

10. Touch your sunshine with your heart, and then, forever, brilliant! I have experienced many hardships. Now I don't care, don't care, don't itch, and I'm not happy. Don't let the future you hate the present yourself.

1 1. I'm trying to be the person I like. It is better to be strong than to pray for a plain life.

12. Girls can only become girls in front of boys they like, and they must fight like men at other times! The applause and follow-up of countless people when they are successful and brilliant can't compare with the hug and companionship of one person when they are frustrated and frustrated.

13. It is the princess who needs the prince to save, and the queen who saves the world herself is cute when she first meets, and fierce when she meets.

14. Don't give me a hard look, your face is not a palette. No matter how stressful the study is, don't forget to give yourself a pair of scissors with a smile, because that's the best self.

15. Learn to make yourself happy. Happiness is in your own hands. Don't rely on others, because people may leave suddenly.

Classic jokes about girlfriends.

1. Achieve eternal existence with eternal life. Let me prove with eternity that the other side you are looking for has always been here.

2. Humans should stand on the top of the mad dog and fight with it. Someone will teach you a lesson and let you know who you are.

The world laughs at me for being crazy, and I laugh at the poor. Bear calm for a while, and you will die if it breaks out.

No matter how bad your grades are, you should live with a smile. This is the dignity of scum.

5. Life is boring. This is life. Don't play cool with me, I'm 10 degrees below zero! I like your personality, but I don't like your gender.

If I have you in my future, I am not afraid of anything. When you become excellent, everything you want will come to you.

7. Remember, girl, you don't marry a prince, but someone who treats you like a princess.

8. Don't think how strong I am. I have no more heart than others. Losing love is not necessarily a bad thing, but may be the next happy beginning.

9. I don't want anything, but you, I want to settle.

10. Most people who love food are not bad people, because they are desperate for food and have no time to hurt others.

A cold joke about an internal newspaper

1. "Kong Fuyou" commented that Wang Juan has finished half a set of papers.

My roommates are all drinking carbonated drinks. I eat healthy fruit and fish, and live a few years longer than them and roll them to death.

No matter how the world rolls, there are only clouds in my heart.

No one has ever asked us to participate, only we have the right to decide whether to let ourselves participate.

Everyone else lives a healthy life. I will secretly eat junk food and drink iced drinks. In the future, infertility will not give birth to children. I am younger than them. Fuck them.

6. You learn, you get out, and now I start to stay up late drinking coke, playing games and watching dramas, dying early, and being reborn as a rich second generation in Beijing in my next life. You can't do three lives.

7. Did you write today?

8. When my colleagues are off work, I will secretly work overtime to complete the performance, get the reuse of boss and kill them.

9. I am a Chinese cabbage. I have the heart to kill others, but I am a Chinese cabbage.

10. Roommates are asleep. I stole their cell phones and turned off the alarm clock. I will go to class alone tomorrow and roll them to death.

1 1. Before I got involved, I started my own mental internal friction.

12. Okay, take a turn for the better and change dishes. Please call me cabbage.

13. None of my roommates are dead. I secretly died and ran them over.

14. Other children only know how to play. I secretly practice kowtowing and roll them to death during the New Year.

15. My roommates are all eating. I will secretly practice Pamela, become the thinnest, and roll them to death.

16. When everyone is involved, I will eat and sleep on time, do more exercise, keep healthy and kill them!

17. Promote misogyny with friends, kiss her husband behind his back, hug him and roll them to death.

18. I pretended to watch the live shopping in Li Jiaqi, but in fact I didn't buy anything. I secretly saved money to kill them.

19. Everyone is playing with their mobile phones. I played Tik Tok music loudly and recited English words, which killed them!

20. You have been working so hard, you must not know how comfortable it is to be lazy. Reject involution! How comfortable it is to lie flat.

A joke, and a joke with a girl.

An interesting remark made in jest

1. Sister Lin didn't die of illness, but actually fell from the sky and died.

Although the famous flowers are taken, I will loosen the soil.

I can't find my tie again. Didn't you find a rag yesterday?

4. Ask you, how long has it been since you paged?

According to the pig's aesthetic, I am basically a handsome boy.

6. It's obvious that it's easy to hide, but it's hard to prevent it.

When I left the subway station this morning, the escalator broke down. I was stuck on it for more than an hour, so I was late.

I always think of you when I feed the pigs.

9. Some things don't need wrangling, they seem to be obedient and secretly resist.

10. Writers despise online literature, so they all act as pornographic online writers and take the curve to save the country.

1 1. My father asked me what kind of life I wanted. I answered money and beauty, and my father punched me in the face; I answered career and love, and my father touched my head appreciatively.

12. Don't stare at me. You think you are a palette.

13. The furthest distance in the world is not that you and I live far apart, but that students live in different rooms.

14. Admit your mistakes and never change.

15. Sleepy in spring, weak in summer, weak in autumn, and sleep in winter.

16. Listen to other people's stories and shed your own tears.

17. It will be dark and the road will be slippery. I don't know who is more cunning than you on the way home.

18. The first love is infinitely good, but it hangs early.

19. If the teacher didn't say don't litter, I would throw you out.

20. Life turned out to be an out-of-print movie that could not be replayed.

2 1. Before I met you, I really didn't realize that I had a problem with judging people by their appearances.

22. Have you never seen anyone run before?

How long a mouse can live depends on the cat's mood.

Extraordinary appearance is important even to wild animals.

25. Handsome is useless! Finally, I was eaten by a chess piece!

A joke with a girl

1. Beauty, I love you. I will write you a love song. The theme is I miss you very much. The message is all about you. Ask me what I miss you, and swear to catch up with you.

2. People are not smart and bald like others.

Smart women deal with men, stupid women deal with women.

4. Some people say that if you have a baby, you won't have dysmenorrhea. Have one!

There is a feeling more painful than lovelorn, called narcissism.

6. Lonely people need to be full, which is why I am so fat.

7. In fact, Tang Priest is also quite brilliant. She was called a benefactor when she met someone who looked pitiful. When you meet a good-looking person, you are called a bodhisattva.

8. I took out my dusty homework, shook off the dust and put it back.

9. Watch the Korean drama Hero! Watch the heroine of Japanese drama! What is a domestic drama? Be right back after the commercial.

10. If you don't study hard now, the wall knocked by others is the brick you moved.

1 1. Who can read it all at once? Red carp, green carp and donkey.

12. As soon as I stretched out my hand, I knew you wouldn't come with me, so I stretched out my leg and tripped you. You really stood up and chased me.

13. Primary school students have turned from wet behind the ears to goddesses, and I have turned from wet behind the ears to a big fart.

14. The husband told his wife on the phone: Just now, the police at the police station said that the door of our house was broken into by thieves. The wife asks urgently: Have you lost your money and passbook? Husband said: I don't think so. The wife said: Why? The husband said: I have been looking for it for ten years, but I can't find it. Can the thief be found in such a short time?

15. I find that you are half like Shakespeare. Where is it like? Sabi

Humorous words joking with girls.

1. I don't look down on you, but I don't care about you at all.

2. Tomorrow after tomorrow, how many tomorrows are there! Since there are so many, we might as well postpone it again.

3. From heaven to hell, I pass by!

4. Eat if you want, and sleep if you want! Like a pig, your territory is up to you anyway.

Before I met you, I really didn't realize that I had a problem with judging people by their appearances.

6. Reality tells lies with real names, and the Internet tells the truth with pseudonyms.

7. Some things are beyond our control, so we must control ourselves.

8. Even if I have fucking money, I will use Qingyang shampoo for baldness!

9. If the heart has no place to live, it wanders around.

10. Let the house price rise more violently!

Sudden hail, jokes and interesting sentences

Suddenly it started to hail (1) 1. Hail, as big as a tennis ball, fell from the sky.

2. The hail that we haven't seen for decades is overwhelming.

3. Dark clouds rolled, the sky was dark, and large pieces of hail fell.

The sudden arrival of small hail caught Mother Earth off guard.

Grandpa Sun ate beans and sneezed heavily. Beans were scattered all over the floor and turned into small hail.

6. The rain came quietly and the hail followed. I saw ping-pong hail hitting my window.

Hail circle of friends is very short.

7. Wow! Glittering little hailstones jumped off the back of Brother Wuyun, who arrived at high speed, and roared into the soil.

8. Hail is as big as a drop of water, it feels very cold, very cold, and it will make people tremble, and the iron tiles are also "banging".

9. A hail drowned the footsteps of passers-by and his endless troubles. I didn't know that time was still turning until the police lights flashed in the quiet street.

10, I picked up a hail and watched it for a while. It is smooth and slippery. If you hold it, it will slide down from your hand, leaving a lot of water in your hand and slowly melting in your hand.

1 1. The raindrops in the sky turned into lovely ice crystals under Sister Yun's play and rubbing. The clouds lost it. It jumped out of the clouds with friends, flew to the ground, and left it everywhere, shining and particularly beautiful.

12, perhaps because of its own weight, the small hail falls very fast. As if in the blink of an eye, hail fell from the high clouds to the ground. It looks in a hurry, as if it is carrying out some urgent task.

13 but I thank the electric shock and thunder tonight, and thank the threatening hail tonight for showing my thoughts and feelings naked in front of them. They opened my long-standing heart vine and rustled along the pen tip on this cardboard.

14, the hail "swished" underground, getting tighter and tighter. The sound of "thunderbolt" hitting the body fell to the ground, skipping, and the ground seemed to be covered with a layer of "salt", which was very beautiful under the illumination of street lamps. It's fun to step on "salt grains"! I feel particularly exciting, happy, happy and a little painful.

15, there was a tinkling hail outside the house, which fell on the roof tiles, alternating with drizzle and thunder that I hadn't heard for a long time. At this time, I sat in the attic window, sensitive to my melancholy and some misty thoughts. For a long time, I wanted to have a look at the style, but I found that it was not that pen and ink could not rhyme my heart, but that I was like a dry desert, but my emptiness could not be filled with a pen tip. ....

16, soup is dripping in the sky, so hurry home and get the basin.

17, the mice got on the bat and went out for a trip. Unexpectedly, when it started to hail, the bats were smashed and the mice panicked. One of them parachuted directly and landed safely.

So all the mice followed suit and died. The squirrel looked at the dead mouse and sighed, "When I first exercised my tail, so many ancestors were buried with me.". How can I explain to my father? "

18, it is raining. It seems that if you don't set up a stall to buy hail photos, you can't keep up with the trend. Friends can get together.

19. There is a tinkling hail outside the house. Just say that you like fruit stalls, snack stalls and snack stalls or my cerebellum stalls. If you are not satisfied with the answer, I will push you out and let the hail wake you up.

20. I'm going to set up a stall for hail in such fine weather. It doesn't matter whether I sell it or not. I mainly like the feeling of street stalls in this weather.

Suddenly it rained, and I was thinking about you. It's snowing and my heart is bleeding.

You promised to come to see me when it snows this winter, but who knows we'll never see each other again before it snows.

I am a person who snows heavily in the dark. If you don't come, it will snow.

The wind is blowing, the snow is falling, and you are gone.

5. On snowy days, time is dragged away by the trace of snowflakes across the sky.

6. Will it snow on Valentine's Day? Even if I'm not around, I want to be white with you.

7. It's snowing. Remember to go out and watch the snow with the person you like, because you will get old if you are not careful. ...

8. I heard that it snows for the first time, and I have to go with my lover.

9. It's snowing. I don't know whether it is the winter that bears the snow or the snow betrays the winter. You should be with winter, but you hold hands with spring. Should people praise your reserve or accuse you of being late? If you walk with winter, you may be happier, because winter will prolong your beautiful life with its temperature, but you fall in love with spring. Although you fly all over the sky, you will soon melt. Perhaps, all this is an act of god, and so are people. Don't let the wait go. ...

10. It's snowing, it's cold, it's cold, it's cold, it's cold, it's dumbfounded, I want to take off the bill, I'm stupid, wear cotton trousers.

1 1. The city where I live never snows, but my memory is full of cold feelings.

12. I still remember that we first met on a snowy day. At that moment, you said to me, "That's it. I accidentally turned white from the beginning." I feel really good with a smile on my face.

13. It's raining and thundering. Stand under the tree and shout, I want to cross.

14. The warmest thing is that it suddenly rains outside, and you are still with me.

15. Moved, we went for a walk and suddenly it rained heavily. Knowing that I can't get caught in the rain during my menstruation, I feel warm when I rush home to pick me up in the heavy rain.

65438+ I wish you a sunny heart and a good mood in heavy rain.

17. Under the scorching sun, there was a sudden rainstorm, a very violent rain.

18. The sky suddenly became terrible. But when it rains, you will feel at ease and calm at home.

19. The weather in June is like blue sky and white clouds, and the sky is clear in Wan Li. Suddenly it started to rain heavily ~ In short, it was over 30 degrees for a while, and the heavy rain messed me up!

20. It's another stormy night. What kind of experience is it to hear thundering thunder in the middle of the night ~

Humorous love sentences humorous love classic sentences

Humorous love sentences

1. I decided to give up fairy tales, because it was pure fucking nonsense.

We often hide the truth in jokes.

You believe all my lies. I love you simply, but you don't believe me.

Although I believe in vows of eternal love, I may not believe you.

I stayed in the depths of my memory, looking for the rest of my happiness.

6. I like making friends, especially girlfriends.

7. inaction and inaction, inaction and inaction.

8. 12 log off at midnight on time! Otherwise, the princess will become Cinderella again.

9. liking you doesn't necessarily mean loving you, loving you doesn't necessarily mean marrying you, and marrying you doesn't necessarily mean having children. If you have children, the father of the child may not be you.

10. You are the wind, I am the sand, you are the leather shoes, I am the brush, and you ignore me and I commit suicide.

1 1. I am a vine, a melon, a fish, a shrimp, a pot and a flower. I make you laugh every day!

12. Hope: the leader follows you, the car lets you, the money sticks to you, the court dotes on you, the official transport accompanies you, the school depends on you, the real estate depends on you, and the lover loves you!

13. I miss you very much, dear, and you? I love you like drinking boiled water to eat, as natural as breathing, sleepless and gentle, so I will love you forever.

14. I think of your smile when I get up, and I smell you when I wash my face. You are my need before going to bed. I really can't leave you, my dear toilet!

15. A man raising a woman outside is called a golden house. The female foster man is called Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon outside.

16. There are thousands of children in China. If this doesn't work, we'll change it.

17. No matter how big a woman's business is, it is also a small matter, and no matter how small a brother's business is, it is also a big matter. Is to eat in one place for a lifetime, not in one place for a lifetime.