What should I do if my child scratches "there"?

When the time came, a child rushed from the gate to my classroom excitedly, shouting my name all the way. The child ran very fast, but suddenly stopped at my door. His body was hunched over, his face smiled shyly, his eyes looked at me with joy, and then he jumped into my classroom with both feet.

What is he? He is a 5-year-old autistic boy. He likes to attend my class very much. Every time he sees me, he hugs me shyly and puts his hands around my waist. She smiles very shyly, and her sweet expression melts my heart every time. Children who love to laugh always have their own cuteness.

At the beginning of class, Momo interacted very well with me, and every game could be played smoothly. He only occasionally pulled his crotch. Later, there was a game like this. The child had to crawl through the caterpillar tunnel, then stand on a high platform, try to grab the crossbar with both hands, lift himself up like a horizontal bar, and clamp it with his feet. Sandbags, throwing sandbags into the big bucket in front, the whole process combines a lot of sensory integration stimulation.

When Momo was standing on the high platform, I squatted next to him, trying to help him grasp the crossbar and lift himself up, but he began to lean on me, his crotch It happened to be at the same height as my shoulder, and Momo said coquettishly: "Teacher, carry me up."

After a few times, I found that every time I assisted him in lifting the When moving up, he would keep rubbing his crotch against my shoulder, and even push his lower body forward by pushing his belly out.

In the face of inappropriate behavior of their children, some parents or teachers may start to severely scold or stop their children. However, if the reason is not clear, the wrong handling may not only fail to solve the problem, but may even On the contrary, it reinforces the child's bad behavior.

I usually choose to ignore the child's bad behavior first, without any speculation or judgment. I will just calmly continue to take the child to do the activities, but my eyes will be more careful. Observe the child's behavior patterns, carefully filter the positive intentions of each behavior, and your mind will try to quickly judge the reasons why the child behaves like this.

I found that every time Momo went to the high platform, he would straighten his belly and lean his crotch against my shoulder. If I tried to move my body, he would adjust his position just to lean towards me. , if I try to change to a half-squatting position with my shoulders higher than his crotch, he will put his hands around my shoulders and neck and try to make me squat down lower to hug him.

Every time he touches my shoulder with his crotch, he will jump with joy and even shrink his feet, hoping that I can hug him. I also found that when he was about to crawl through the caterpillar tunnel, he would pull his crotch more frequently. One time he asked me: "Why is my penis so itchy?"

Passed After a series of observations, I felt that he should have entered the genital stage, so I lifted his buttocks upwards with one hand, and brought his knees up with the other hand. Through the changes in the movements of my hands, I moved his legs Clamp and bring out the movement of bending the knees and bending the thighs towards the stomach, flexing and stretching his body like playing a harmonium.

Next, I asked Momo to lie down on the big dragon ball full of bumps, and asked him to move forward to take out the small balls from the basin, and lift his upper body to push them hard. The ball was thrown into the ball pool, and I just pressed down on Momo's pelvis. Part of it was to stabilize the child's balance, and part of it was to enhance the sensory stimulation he needed.

Finally, I asked Momo to squat down and learn to walk like a little duck. I placed a screw combination block at one end of the moving line. Momo had to unscrew the screw block with both hands first, and then hold it with one hand. Nuthead moved to the other end holding the screw in one hand and placed the block on the table.

Before get out of class, I shared the content of the day’s game with my mother and brought up the topic of Momo touching her crotch all the time.

My mother frowned and said, "Yes, he has been grabbing there lately. I don't know why this is happening? What should I do to stop him from doing this?"

I can see that my mother is right. Mo Mo feels particularly distressed by this behavior, and hopes to find a way to directly stop his behavior. However, in my opinion, this is a very natural physiological need stage. In fact, it is the same as when you were a child and you like to chew things and pay special attention to your needs when you want to poop and pee.

Freud believed that there is some kind of native drive before birth, which will make people pay attention to the changes and development of body parts, and seek the stimulation needs of that part in specific ways.

He then sorted out the stages of psychological development: from birth to adolescence, sex is divided into five stages, the oral stage, the anal stage, the genital stage, the latent stage and the reproductive stage.

Today we will first talk about the first three stages. I think you may be familiar with the oral stage and anal stage.

Children from birth to one and a half years old will strongly seek oral stimulation and need to engage in a lot of sucking, chewing, swallowing, biting and other oral activities to obtain pleasure and satisfaction.

When a child is one and a half years old, he will begin to consciously feel that he can obtain pleasure through excretion to relieve stress. This stage will last until the age of three, during which time he can gain pleasure through excretion. Good guidance helps children develop their ability to control their bowels and bowels on their own.

Next, what is the genital phase?

I think this is a knowledge blind spot for many parents. After all, in Chinese society, "sex" has always been a topic that is not discussed much and is not easy to talk about. It is not convenient even for adults to discuss it. What's more, when their children behave like this, many parents basically struggle to understand the reasons, so they can only rush to intervene or prevent their children from seeking stimulation.

In fact, I can particularly understand the thoughts of parents at this stage. After all, children in the oral stage put everything into their mouths, or children in the anal stage cannot control excretion independently and need to be covered all the time. Playing with the genitals of a child in the genital stage regardless of time or place while wearing a wet diaper is not a behavior that can be accepted by everyone, so parents always prioritize public opinion and are particularly nervous to prevent their children from such behavior.

Parents may also understand that their children will go through the genital stage, but when they actually encounter such behavior, most of them will first guess whether the child has seen some bad pictures from somewhere before imitating it. When such behavior occurs, sometimes the more you think about it, the more confused you become, but you still don’t know how to help your child.

Generally speaking, children will enter the genital stage between the ages of 3 and 6. At this time, children will begin to discover the differences between male and female organs, and begin to pay attention to sexual organs, and will also inadvertently discover that touching sexual organs It can bring some kind of comfortable feeling, so there will be behaviors like touching and exposing genitals.

I have even heard that some parents will scold the child severely when they find that their little boy is playing with his genitals, and even threaten the child to stop playing with his genitals: "What if?" If you play again, I will cut him off." It is obviously intended to reduce the child's behavior. However, this statement can easily cause the child a lot of psychological pressure, and may even lead to sneaky exploration.

This period is crucial for the healthy development of personality. If such needs cannot be fully met, many behavioral problems or aggressive behaviors will easily occur in the future. The timing of these stages of psychological development will vary with each child's development, but the sequence of development is the same.

If parents encounter a situation where their children are not fully satisfied at a certain stage and have residual seeking behavior, please consciously guide their children to meet their physiological needs in appropriate ways.

If parents can consciously understand that this is normal human nature, they will not just over-intervene or amplify their children's behavior that is actually very natural, but they can try to use effective methods to Guide children to appropriately meet this stimulation need.

The mother asked: "How should I satisfy him? Should I just let him do it and ignore him?"

I suggested that the mother try to divert the child's attention first. In addition to providing interesting games and effectively attracting children's attention, it can also involve children in more activities that require the use of both hands. Just like when I asked Momo to dismantle screw blocks during the activity, his hands need to handle tasks. It will reduce the amount of free hands to play with organs.

In addition, I suggest that children can meet this physiological need through appropriate methods, such as squatting, walking in a squatting position, crawling and crawling, and even carrying the child alternately while lying down. He made a pedaling motion with his feet.

These postures can allow the child's pelvic girdle to be squeezed and rubbed appropriately. Just like when I grab Mo Mo's knees with both hands during the activity, and drive him to squeeze the pelvic girdle, this can Providing appropriate squeezing stimulation will help meet his physiological needs in the right amount.

Mom frowned: "Will this actually intensify his stimulation?" Rather than providing an appropriate amount of satisfaction, I think my mother would rather get someone who can immediately stop this behavior. method.

However, in fact, this kind of stimulation seeking is a very normal physiological need. Just like children in the oral stage need molar sticks, and children in the anal stage need time to practice controlling excretion. If we can use "appropriate methods" "Meeting the needs of children in the genital stage is also a way for children to learn other ways to replace inappropriate exploratory behaviors. After the physiological needs are appropriately met, it will help the children to go through this psychological period more smoothly. development stage.

Mom finally understood that what we have to do is not to strengthen the child's inappropriate behavior, but to learn how to guide the child to replace the "inappropriate exploratory behavior" through "appropriate methods". Mom's His expression slowly relaxed.

Suddenly, my mother seemed to think of something again. She pursed her lips and asked, "Is this considered a kind of self-stimulation?" In fact, this is indeed a kind of sensory pursuit. Children with autism are sometimes stubborn or rigid and tend to frequently seek self-stimulation that brings comfort or relaxation.

Therefore, children with autism generally have a long delay in the transition period of these psychological development stages. If they are very large, they will keep putting things in their mouths, or they will be unable to stably control excretion. situation, and children’s exploration of sexual organs also requires effective guidance to achieve appropriate transfer and behavioral regression.

"What will happen when children like this grow up?"

"Will they be rejected by others?"

"Children with such needs What will happen when we grow up? "

"What will happen?"

"What problems will there be?"

Although the mother knows that effective guidance can divert the child's pursuit of this aspect, because she has never encountered such a problem, she will naturally have a lot of worries, which is normal.

I have indeed encountered autistic children who grew up and suddenly hugged girls based on their curiosity about sex. Although the core problems of autistic children are social barriers, communication barriers and Stereotyped behavior, but they are also children with feelings. Just like ordinary people, many autistic children will also start to be curious about the opposite sex when they reach adolescence. However, they do not understand social norms enough, and sometimes it is not easy to judge the emotions of others. Or attitude, so it is also possible to behave inappropriately due to misunderstanding or curiosity.

For this reason, I particularly recommend that parents pay attention to their children’s psychological development stages when their children with autism are still young. When their children exhibit some inappropriate stimulation-seeking behaviors, parents are asked to understand their children’s behavior. Behavior has its developmental significance and provides or guides children to seek satisfaction of physiological needs in appropriate ways. When children are satisfied physically and mentally, children will be able to go through stages of psychological development more smoothly.

When children are growing up, if they encounter inappropriate contact with others, such as rubbing their crotches against family members or hugging others without consent, parents can also tell their children this in a timely manner. This kind of behavior does not give people the feeling that parents should criticize their children, but it is normal to express clear feelings. For example, if a child keeps hugging his mother, the mother can express his uncomfortable feelings, or if the child keeps kissing his father, Dad can also say that there are times when he doesn’t want to be kissed.

This kind of interactive message helps children understand how their behavior makes others feel. It also gives children the opportunity to adjust their behavior appropriately, try to show more respect to others, and understand How to be more welcoming to others.

I am Teacher Art,

a children’s occupational therapist from Taiwan,

here to share with you new perspectives on children’s rehabilitation.

I hope that today’s story can bring some warmth and direction to readers’ hearts, and that in the future they can try to have a gentler and kinder attitude towards these little hearts that need companionship. If you like the articles I write, please give me a follow!!