Joke Collection Website - Mood Talk - Durian's self-reported composition
Durian's self-reported composition
Durian's self-report composition 1 Hello everyone, I am Durian, and I also have a name: "Homesickness". Let me introduce myself.
My shape is very strange, not as small as blueberries and cherries, not as round as apples and oranges, and not as naked as watermelons, but like a pineapple-covered with yellow thorns. My flesh is light yellow, and my body is as big as a football. Some of my brothers and sisters are older than me!
I am a tangled fruit with a strong smell. Those who like it praise its fragrance, while those who hate it complain about its stench. My taste is very delicate and sweet, but because of the smell, many foreigners don't taste it, so they hold their noses and throw me out of the window. On the other hand, Thais are different. They used to have a folk proverb: durian comes out and the sand cage comes off. It means that girls would rather take off their skirts and sell them than have a durian meal. This shows how much the Thai people love us!
I am also rich in vitamins and minerals, such as starch, sugar, carbohydrates and protein. I am a tropical fruit with high and balanced nutritional density, so I have a loud and bright nickname: "the king of fruits".
I was green when I was immature, and the plant was evergreen, 25m high, with scales at the top of young branches. Stipule length 1. 5~2cm, leaves oblong, sometimes obovate oblong, short acuminate or acute. My petals are yellow and white, three petals long. 5~5cm, 5 bunches of stamens, 4~ 18 filaments per bunch. The capsule is oval, light yellow or yellow-green, with a length of 15~30cm and a thickness of 13~ 15cm, with 2~6 seeds per room and a flowering and fruiting period of 6~ 12 months.
After listening to my self-introduction, are you madly in love with me like a mouse loves rice?
Durian's self-report composition 2 Hello! Hello, everyone, I am a delicious durian. I'm also called civet, from Thailand.
I am oval, round and golden all over. The shell is covered with hard thorns, as if covered with a golden armor, which looks magnificent. Seen from a distance, it looks like a hedgehog with thorns.
My meat is light yellow, sticky and juicy, very crisp and sweet. It tastes like old cheese and smells like onions. But some people "flinch" from me, while others love me very much. So I have the reputation of "durian is gone forever". Also known as the "king of tropical fruits".
My pulp contains a variety of vitamins and lipids, and its nutritional value is particularly high. It has a good nourishing effect. My smell can stimulate appetite and promote appetite!
I still have medicinal value, I can make you strong, and my hard shell is used to fry light salt water, which can reduce fire.
I will promote blood circulation to dispel cold and relieve menstrual pain. I am hot. After eating it, I can promote the temperature rise and adjust the coldness.
Some people will miss me like hedgehogs. How to eat? Actually, my eating method is very simple. As long as you separate the protruding part of my bottom with a knife, you can see my grain, then cut a knife along the grain with a knife and break it with your hand, and you can get my sweet and delicious flesh. There is fire in the meat. If you eat too much, your nose may bleed. There are also ways to avoid getting angry. I'll eat a few mangosteen after eating. Because mangosteen is characterized by clearing fire and removing heat. Attention, everyone! I can't drink milk and wine for ten hours after eating me, or I will be poisoned.
Well, after listening to my self-report, do you know me better? Do you like me better?
Durian's self-reported composition 3 Hello everyone! I am durian. I'm covered in thorns, like a fruit assassin. There is a strong smell in my body, but some people still like to eat me because the meat in my armor is delicious. I really don't know how to describe it. But some people don't like me, forcing him to eat, and he doesn't eat, as if he had seen poison, because he had been smoked down by my bad smell!
I am a typical little fat man, and my weight can reach more than 20 kilograms. Because my body is covered with thorns, people always take me carefully for fear that I will prick my fingers. Besides, I am also a typical "ugly", but "the appearance is unfair and the sea is unfair"! In the words of our fruit, it is "you can't look at the skin of the fruit", right! But every time I see someone who doesn't like me holding his nose, I feel sad. Look! This is a typical example: one day, the young master bought me from the fruit shop, and the young master and her mother ate some and put me in the refrigerator. The next day, I began to stink, and all the vegetables and fruits in the refrigerator were cursing me and cursing me, which made me feel very wronged. Durian is like this! I don't mean it! What saddens me even more is that the little master's father never dares to open the refrigerator again, because once the refrigerator is opened, it will give off an unpleasant smell and suffocate the little master's father. That night, the little master and her mother had no choice but to eat me, but the little master's father dared not come out alone in the bedroom.
But it doesn't matter, because everyone has different hobbies! Finally, I want to make two wishes: I hope that people who like to eat me will cherish me, buy as much as they eat, don't buy a whole durian, and throw me into the trash can if they don't finish eating it at home; Moreover, people who want to buy me should pay attention to other people's feelings and can't base their happiness on other people's pain.
Durian's self-reported composition 4 Guess who I am? My body is very big, but it is covered with spikes. My body is like the armor of an ancient general, protecting the general's body, and my body is like a mace, which is very powerful. I believe everyone has eaten me! Some people say I smell bad and taste sweet, others say I smell bad and taste bad. I have many brothers and sisters, my elder sister is a golden pillow, my cousin is a sultan, my elder brother is King Mao Shan, and my elder sister is Ni Qing.
A hot noon, really hot! As soon as I was mature, the owner of the orchard sold me to a supermarket with a very large flow. The supermarket is very big. I saw my brother, Mao Shanwang, who was just bought by a housewife. I was put among a group of durians, but day after day, I was finally bought. I was bought by a couple. At that time, I thought I wouldn't be bought, but I was so lucky. At that time, his wife was going to buy durian next to me, but because I was very big and stood out among durians, she finally chose me.
When I arrived at their house, they cut me open with a fruit knife and said to me, "This durian stinks." God, durian is famous in the fruit world only because it stinks abnormally Besides, my nutritional value is so high, so what if it stinks. Just when I was unconvinced, I saw them sniff with their noses and say, "It still smells good. His meat must be delicious. " I just found out now. The last one ate me up quickly. At that time, my body was eaten clean by them, and I was afraid. I even thought I was dead. A little boy tried to help me, but he failed. First, he pushed the couple away from eating my meat. But it still didn't stop everyone from drooling. Looking at their satisfied expression after eating, the little boy turned away without saying anything.
If you haven't eaten me, you can taste me!
Hey, I'm the king of the fruit country-durian. There are many brothers and sisters in my family, such as Golden Pillow, Ni Qing, Sultan and so on.
I lived in Southeast Asia before the Ming Dynasty. You must be curious about how I came to China later, right? According to legend, Zheng He led a fleet to Southeast Asia today, which was warmly welcomed by local residents. While tasting local fruits, Zheng He praised me and brought me to China. Unfortunately, you can only cook once a year. Zheng He likes me very much, so he is doomed to "nostalgia". Later, people took a homonym and called me durian.
I have a cool appearance and a lot of triangular thorns. Although they are not as sharp as cactus thorns, you should be careful not to be stung by me when you touch me. The most attractive thing is my meat. My meat is big and tastes sweet, but my smell is unique. People who love me praise me for my incomparable fragrance. People who hate me smell me and run away before they taste me. People who love me combine me with many ingredients to make many delicious foods, such as durian chicken, durian squid soup, durian pancakes and so on. Even in the pizza that you humans like to eat, I am still there.
Cantonese said, "A durian has three chickens." So everyone gave me another name, calling me "old hen". Yes, this is no exaggeration, because my flesh is rich in protein, starch, vitamins A, B, C and so on. If you eat it regularly, you can keep fit, strengthen the spleen and replenish qi, and the effect is no less than that of "old hen"! Although my pulp is so nutritious, I can't eat too much. If I eat too much and get angry, only mangosteen can subdue me after the fruit. I was born a hen-pecked wife. When I saw the Mangosteen Queen, I couldn't get angry.
I'm full of treasures. Don't throw away my meat, skin and stones after eating. Drinking chicken soup with my skin can get rid of stomach cold, and my stones also have the effect of gently tonifying the kidney.
Now, my people have been distributed all over the world. If you still want to know me, come to see me at the fruit shop and take me home!
Durian's self-report composition 6 Every time I mention the king of fruit, everyone will think of me-durian.
I am bigger than other fruits, covered with thorns, and covered with thick golden armor to protect my body.
I grew up in a big tree. Only ten days later, I looked like moss. About twenty days, I grew a brown Flammulina velutipes on a thick trunk. After a while, the lid of Flammulina velutipes grew up and turned green slowly, like a little green thing. In 50 days, the "green body" slowly bloomed. Each flower has five petals, all of which are light green. There are more than a dozen stamens in the petals, and groups of flowers grow on the tree, which is very beautiful. Gradually, the flower became a small thorn ball, like a chestnut ball. /kloc-it will be almost ripe in more than 0/00 days. When the farmer's uncle takes it off, I can eat it when my whole body turns pale yellow.
It takes a lot of effort to open it every time. I'll tell you a secret: just point a pair of scissors at my ass and pry it, and you can open it and see my delicate pulp.
After opening it, you can smell my special smell from far away. People who like eating say it smells good, while people who don't like eating say it stinks. Don't miss this delicious food because of my taste! I think my smell is very weak, and that faint fragrance, to be honest, is a paradise-like taste.
Needless to say, my taste is sweet and delicious, very light, and you will feel silky when you take a bite.
Nothing in the world is perfect, even the king of fruit is no exception. If you eat too much, you will get angry. At this time, my shell can be treated. Pour boiling water into it and drink it after ten minutes, which will immediately reduce the fire.
After listening to my self-report, do you want to eat right away? Go and buy one quickly!
Durian's self-reported composition 7 Hello everyone! I am a durian that some people love and some people hate. Let me introduce myself.
I grew up in a tree. At first, I looked a bit like moss, sparse. Before long, "moss" slowly looks like Flammulina velutipes. Gradually, the cap of Flammulina velutipes swelled, and the longer it grew, the more it looked like a "small grape". After a while, the "grape" cracked and produced many beautiful small white flowers. Clusters of flowers grow on the trunk. From a distance, it seems that someone else's family hung flowers on the trunk to make dried flowers! After the flowers bloom, something like a chestnut ball grows, that is, I grew bigger and bigger when I was a child, and my color changed from dark green to light yellow. At this time, I can be enjoyed by you!
I am the king of fruit industry. Although the taste is a little strong, it is very popular in fruit shops, because I am covered with treasures and thorns, just like a soldier in armor. My meat is light yellow, and every piece of meat is lying in a customized room. A bite is as soft and sweet as eating a piece of cream, which makes people linger.
There is also a kind of durian called Maoshanwang durian. The skin is turquoise and belongs to the royal family of durian. Unlike our golden pillow durian, it only exudes a faint fragrance, just like an elegant princess. The flesh is golden and full, not to mention the taste. I am not only delicious, but also nutritious. Rich in sugar and vitamins, amino acids can enhance immunity. Not only that, my peel and stone also have nourishing effects. Stewed soup with skin and chicken can enrich blood, and even my shell can be used as soap to wash clothes!
Although I am delicious, I will get angry if I eat too much. It may also lead to stomach stones! But it doesn't matter, I have a special function: put water in my shell for a while and drink it to cure internal heat!
After listening to my introduction, are you all drooling? Then come to the supermarket and take me home to try it!
Durian's self-reported composition 8 me! I am wearing a golden shirt with thorns, but I am not a hedgehog! My thorn has no tip, it is very thick! There is a saying called "one durian and three chickens", which stinks because I wear a lot of perfume.
My taste is delicious. My way of eating is this: first open a small mouth for me with a knife, be careful not to open it too wide, I will hurt, and then break it with my hand. Please be careful, my thorn will hurt people. After breaking it, take out my fruit and have a bite. Make sure you want a second bite. I'm telling you, apples, pears, bananas … they don't have thorns. In two idioms, they stand out from the crowd and are unique, but don't fall in love with me! I have a beautiful wife, strawberry, who is also the fruit queen! To tell you the truth, I am the king of tropical fruits.
Let me tell you a little secret, I still have blood type! It's type 0, just like me. We also like listening to music! But we prefer to listen to quiet serenades rather than those noisy and harsh noises.
I also have a warranty period, which can be 1 to 2 months, and it can be put in the refrigerator for 3 to 4 months. My goal is to be extremely delicious. I tell you, my price is very expensive! This can't be compared with Apple Man. I am more than ten centimeters tall, but I am very tall in their eyes. If you get too close to me, you will be dizzy by my fragrance! Don't hug me! Otherwise, you will be hurt by my little thorn! Every time I smell the fragrance, I am a guest in your house!
This is my self-report of a durian, the king of tropical fruits! Don't forget me!
Some people imitate my face, others imitate my sweetness, but they can never imitate my delicious meat. I am the legendary durian.
My family is very big. There are 200 kinds of durian, and 60 to 80 kinds are common. The most famous one is my brother, Maoshan Wang, who is of medium height, easy to carry, sweet and soft, and can be called the best durian. Some customers will go to Thailand to taste Maoshan Wang. It seems that my brother is really famous!
I look very strange, full of edges and corners, quite like a thorn ball; My smell stinks. Cut me open and an indescribable smell comes to my nose. Some people will not adapt, but some people like me. They say I smell strong and taste delicious. Those who love me love its fragrance, and those who hate me hate its stink; But my taste is sweet and delicious.
Although I am ugly, I am also very meaningful!
When you cut me open, you will usually see several "rooms", and each "room" will have one or more even conjoined pulp. In every small piece of pulp, there will be a burgundy core, which looks round, flat and irregular. Only the root is connected with the pulp, and the rest are attached to the pulp but will not stick together. Unlike mango, when I eat the core, the core and meat will be separated immediately, unlike mango, which is sticky and broken. I am rich in protein, which has a good nourishing effect on human body, so people also call me "the king of fruits".
Although I am very nutritious, I can't eat more, because eating too much will get angry, so I have to use mangosteen to reduce the fire. In Thailand, durian and mangosteen are also called "fruit couples".
You only smell me, but you don't taste my sweetness. You have your taste buds and I have my choice. You deny my value, and I decide my future. You can treat me as "garbage" because of my smell, but I will prove whose age it is. The road to becoming the "king of fruit" is doomed to be lonely, and it is indispensable to abandon and discard on the way.
I am durian, and I speak for myself!
Hello, everyone, I am a kind of fruit, with a big round thorn ball in my stomach and yellow and soft flesh. Guess who I am? Yes, I'm just a part of people, and I like the tropical fruit durian with golden pillow that some people hate.
Our durian family is very strong and distributed in many countries in Southeast Asia. Maoshanwang durian is small and exquisite, slightly bitter, mainly grown in Sabah, Malaysia, and also distributed in Thailand. The most popular durian variety is my golden pillow durian. I'm huge, and I have a big fruit that weighs more than ten kilograms. The flesh is tender, smooth and delicious, as sweet as honey, and the core is easy to pick, like a small pillow, so I call it golden pillow durian! We live in Thailand and are the king of fruits in Thailand! There are more than 200 varieties in our durian family, and I don't know many relatives, so I won't introduce them here.
We are rich in carbohydrates, essential fats and amino acids, various vitamins, minerals such as calcium, iron and phosphorus. We also have the functions of promoting blood circulation to dispel cold, strengthening the body, stimulating appetite and promoting digestion, which can enhance resistance, stimulate appetite and help digestion. At the same time, durian also has the function of nourishing the body and lubricating the skin.
Let me pay attention to our taste. what can I say? People who like us say we smell good, and people who don't like us say we stink. Our tastes are strange, aren't they? As soon as durian is opened, the fragrance comes out. For those who like it, it's Wan Li. For those who don't like durian, it's unbearable, but I really don't understand why some people hate us. Let's wait for humans to study slowly.
Let's call it a day. I hope people who don't like us will like us. We can bring you rich nutrition and energy and delay aging.
Durian's self-reported composition 1 1 Hello everyone! I am a handsome durian with a golden pillow. In my home, there are other kinds, such as green ones, long-handled ones and so on. Because my flesh is tender and juicy, rich in nutritional value and well-known in Thailand, I have the reputation of "king of fruits".
From a distance, I look like a little hedgehog, lying there enjoying the cool. I am about the size of a football, I can weigh more than ten kilograms, and my shape is oval and deformed. My face is very thick and strong, about 2 cm to 2.5 cm thick. I wear extremely strong steel armor, which can protect my body. It is covered with numerous triangular spikes. Whoever wants to steal my precious "golden" marrow must break this armor. If you hit me with your fist, a few punches will make me safe, but it will hurt you.
Cut open my stomach, and a stench came to my face. People who taste it for the first time must hold their noses close, or the smell of me will make you loveless. It is reported that a foreigner couldn't stand my smell and threw me out of the window before tasting it, smashing me to pieces. My stomach is simply a treasure house of gold: there is a big and delicious golden meat lying in every warehouse, which is like a sleeping baby, lovable, and like an attractive gold bar, invading people! Gently tear off a gold bar from me and taste it slowly, ah! Delicious and refreshing, the flesh is fresh and juicy, elastic and very delicious!
Not only is my flesh delicious, but the origin of my name is also very interesting. It is said that Zheng He met a kiwifruit when he went to the Western Ocean. After everyone finished eating, someone asked Zheng He what this fruit was called. Zheng He casually said, "I can't forget to return". Later generations took this as a homonym and called it "durian". It is precisely because it can not only prevent aging, enhance immunity, but also supplement the energy needed by human body.
Although I have many benefits, I am not perfect. Thailand's Ministry of Health has suggested that you should not eat too much durian at a time, otherwise you will not only get angry, but even die suddenly. After all, even the best things are enough!
I am not only delicious, but also nutritious, full of treasures. Would you like to be friends with me?
Durian's self-reported composition 12 Hello everyone, I am Durian. Some people say that my football buddies and I look alike, but I think we are very different.
My mind is full of treasures. Stones can be cooked and eaten. They taste like baked sweet potatoes. Not to mention the flesh, sweet and very refreshing. Although my shell is so hard, it actually plays a great role. If you cook soup with bones, the taste will be more delicious; If you add some chemicals, you can turn it into fragrant soap. But football buddy, it can only be kicked around for people to play.
Many people especially hate my little thorn because it will prick their hands. But they don't know that these little thorns are our "unique hidden weapons". Each thorn is about 1 to 2 cm long. The whole body shines with golden yellow in royal style, and with these small thorns, it looks even more handsome. This is the biggest difference between me and my football buddies. I am extremely hard all over, but my football buddies are soft and always bullied. If anyone dares to bully me, I'll poke his ass and cry his mother.
Although I know I am super handsome, I have a "self-defect", that is, I have a strong "sweat smell". Whenever I am about to mature, that kind of "sweat smell" will be emitted. But people always don't give me a bath, so some people call me "stewardess killer" Hotels, airports and other public places are not allowed to let me in. But sometimes I really don't understand why football buddies are always rolling around, but there is no such unpleasant "sweat smell". Is our "sweat smell" used for self-defense like a weasel farting?
Many people don't like to eat me because of my strong "sweat smell". Would you like me if I didn't have that terrible smell of sweat?
Durian's self-reported composition 13 I, native to Southeast Asia, Hainan. With golden armor and spikes. Guess who I am. Yes, I am the durian that everyone loves and flowers bloom. But there are also many people who hate me, say I stink and say I taste bad. But if you taste me carefully, you will fall in love with me!
I was born in a tree, and my brothers live in the tree with me. But when we grow into small thorns, some will fall from the trees and never grow again. I survived, and I have no worries about food and clothing every day. One day, a group of people came to me and cut me down from the tree. I got on a truck and went to the market. One day, a big brother came to me and took me home.
I went home with him. He washed me in the kitchen sink and put me on the chopping block. He took out a knife from the corner and waved it at me.
I dodged to the left and dodged my brother's knife. He hacked. Finally, I died, and my body was split in two. I saw my brother greedily take me out of my body. "ah! How delicious! Not like others said! "
After my brother finished eating my pulp, he put some water in my skin to drink. I didn't know why he did it at first, but later I knew that I could reduce the fire. After eating and drinking, my brother drank my stew. I think I can take a hot bath when I "die" and die without regret!
I hope everyone will stop scolding me, in fact, I am also delicious! Remember, I am a durian that everyone loves and blooms!
Durian's self-reported composition 14 Hello everyone. I am a popular fruit. Different from other fruits, I can only see my yellow and soft flesh by breaking the thick shell with hard thorns outside. Guess who I am? Yes, I am the durian with a golden pillow that some people are happy and others are sad.
We durians are all called "the king of fruits". There are many kinds of durians in the world, about 600 kinds, big and small. There is a kind of durian called Maoshanwang, which is small and exquisite. Durian with golden pillow is unique and huge. There are proverbs in Thailand, such as "wear a sarong, buy durian, durian is red, suitcase is empty", and the widely circulated food is called "durian is gone forever".
My durian can promote gastrointestinal digestion, and my "bad smell" can stimulate appetite. My meat contains sugar, starch, protein, fat, calcium, phosphorus and iron ... People also use me to make many foods, such as durian Melaleuca cake, durian crisp, durian pizza, durian ice cream and so on. Besides, I don't have to throw away my stone. I can cook it or bake it. Boiling my water can cure sensitive skin sores and itching. Durian is on me.
Seeds can be eaten not only fried, but also raw. Small durian seeds must not be underestimated. In fact, durian seeds also have certain medicinal and edible value. Durian seeds have been used to make soup for a long time in the south. Durian seeds still taste like chestnuts. The main dietotherapy method of durian seeds is soup. You can cook durian, durian seeds, lean meat and some longan in a pot with hot water, which can not only warm the kidney, but also strengthen the spleen, killing two birds with one stone.
I still have many good friends, and we can help you in Qixin. When my good friend mangosteen appears beside me, it can clear away heat and diminish inflammation; I lay eggs with my good friend, which can make people healthy, smart and prolong life. I am with my good friend black-bone chicken, which can replenish blood and resist aging.
My durian is very famous, but it is also a strange fruit. It smells bad and tastes delicious. Even so, I am still worthy of the reputation of "the king of fruits". Some people are crazy about me because I taste delicious. Some people stay away from me because they are not used to my smell. Lovely little reader, what do you think of me?
Durian's self-reported composition 15 Hello everyone! I am the beloved fruit king-durian. The whole body is covered with small thorns and turns pale yellow when it matures. There are four rooms in it. Next, I want to introduce my own growth process.
When I was five days old, some people thought I was a little creature stuck to the durian tree, but on the 42nd day, my "head" exploded, revealing something as white as a cotton ball. On the 45th day, my flowers bloomed. Each flower has five petals, the color is light green, and the stamens are yellow and pink. The flowers are layered on top of each other, which is very beautiful. Only a dozen or twenty "small betel nuts" did not turn into flowers. For more than 70 days, we all became small thorns, and then someone recognized us as durian. In more than 80 days. The bigger one is already as big as a football, and the smaller one is only as big as an apple. Generally/kloc-people will pick us and eat us in more than 0/00 days, so our growth period is about half a year.
When we are mature, there will be cracks in our heads. Just cut along the crack with scissors. Wow! You will find that durian has four rooms, and yellow flesh lies in each room. Touch the pulp with your tongue, and a sweet smell will sweep your tongue and soak your heart. You will definitely keep this smell in your heart forever.
However, even if we are the king of fruit, we will get angry if we eat too much, but the Thai people have also thought of a solution: pour cold water into the durian shell. Drink it in ten minutes, it will reduce the fire. There is another way to reduce the fire: eat our queen, Miss Mangosteen.
After listening to my introduction, people who don't like durian may try it! They will find it delicious and buy a whole durian.
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