What do you think of a well-matched marriage?

Talk about whether you should pursue a well-matched partner when choosing a partner, and how to choose between materials and emotions.

First of all, let’s talk about being a good match. Its original meaning comes from the "wooden door to wooden door, bamboo door to bamboo door" when choosing a mate for marriage in ancient times. It has been said for a long time that wooden doors refer to large families, while bamboo doors refer to small families, that is, relatively poor families. In traditional Chinese society, marriage was determined by the orders of parents and the words of the matchmaker. Marriage parties had little freedom to choose a spouse. At that time, the main consideration of parents and matchmakers was the so-called "well-matched match".

It sounds tacky to be on equal terms, as if the emotions of both parties are not taken into consideration at all. But vulgarity is vulgarity, and you will find that even now, in an era that advocates freedom of love and freedom of choosing a spouse, according to statistical survey results, among all marriages, the vast majority of marriages are still well-matched. This is a reality and a reality. normal. And those marriages with the wrong family are abnormal. Why is this?

The so-called family and family are actually social status and social class. When people choose a mate, they always look for someone from the same class. For example, in a circle of friends, it is easier to find a suitable partner among people of the same class. The reason is that people in the same class have similar outlooks, aesthetic standards, and living habits, so it is easier to find someone. *Same language. For example, working-class families love to play mahjong, while many intellectual families do not know how to play mahjong. They read books and listen to music in their leisure time. They are influenced by what they hear and see, and are taught by words and deeds. Children from different families have been exposed to the circle of friends, hobbies, interests, aesthetic tastes and Values ??will be different.

It is easier for people to have feelings, fall in love, and maintain relationships when compared with people of the same class as themselves. In other words, well-matched people not only make love happen smoothly, but also often guarantee the quality of intimate relationships, so people who are well-matched are more likely to get married. This has resulted in a situation where, judging from the statistical results, most of the people we are looking for are people from the same class.

Those marriages with the wrong family are abnormal. Those love affairs or marriages that transcend social classes are often due to passionate love. For example, a poor boy falls in love with a rich girl, a rich second generation falls in love with a poor girl, a prince falls in love with Cinderella, a rich daughter falls in love with a poor scholar, and so on. Of course, I have an attitude of admiration for this kind of abnormal marriage, especially the situation where people who are not in the right family, develop passionate love, and finally get married, I sincerely appreciate it. Unfortunately, this situation is only an abnormality, and the normal situation is still the same.

On the issue of criteria for choosing a spouse, I would like to remind everyone: In this fast-paced era, objectively speaking, being a well-matched person is indeed a shortcut to marriage. Finding a spouse based on the criteria of a well-matched family may take the shortest possible time. Spend minimal effort finding someone who fits the criteria. However, in this process, we must not ignore the emotional factor, which is directly related to the happiness of your future marriage. I hope that when choosing a spouse, you will not only look at material factors, and I hope that young people will be a little more romantic when facing marriage. I hope people will put emotional factors first and material conditions behind. This is the choice I advocate.

I would like to give you two suggestions at the end: First, if you really want to get married, you don’t have to wait for love. You can be with a friend who is just a physical friend or just a spiritual friend. It’s okay to marry your friends; secondly, if you don’t really want to get married and must wait for love, then your heart must be strong enough and you must be prepared to be single for life, because the probability of love happening is not very high.