Stand at thirty, don't be confused at forty, know your destiny at fifty, listen at sixty, and walk at seventy.

Voice-over "standing at thirty" is a well-known sentence. Almost every young man will ask himself when he is thirty. Did I stand up? So how can we stand up? Do we have to have a car and a house, or do we have any jobs? And what important role does 30 years old play in a person's life?

Say thirty first and stand. Thirty years old, today, maybe in the city, in an era when the psychological weaning period was greatly mistaken, thirty years old is still called a boy or a girl by many people, so what can people stand on in this world? What kind of responsibility is a "position"? In fact, as we all know, in philosophy, Hegel once put forward three stages: positive, negative and harmonious. People's beliefs are positive in the earliest education. When they first went to primary school, they read many fairy tales even before they went to primary school. They believed that the sun was bright, the flowers were bright and red, people's hearts were kind, the world was full of light, and the prince and princess could finally be together. This world. In fact, this is the positive stage. However, when we grow up as teenagers, we often talk about young cynics. We have just stepped into the society in our twenties, and we will feel that everything in this world is not satisfactory and that the adult world has deceived us. The world is full of ugliness, meanness, meanness and fraud. At this time, the growth of youth has its own unique desolation. At this time, people will inevitably rebound, which is what we often say. Then when you reach the age of 30, in fact, 30 years old should be a "harmonious" stage of life, that is to say, you will not feel all bright as you did in your teens, nor will you feel all dim as you did in your twenties. Standing at the age of 30, this standing character is first of all an internal standing, and then a symbol endowed by external social coordinates. From the perspective of inner spiritual independence, what is good study? Is to apply what you have learned, which is a way of learning required by China culture. How can people achieve such a state of integration? China people have two ways to learn. One is my annotation of the Six Classics, and the other is my annotation of the Six Classics. The way I annotate the Six Classics is very bitter, and I need to keep my hair clean and poor in classics. After reading all the books, I can annotate and understand all this, but the higher level is called the Six Classics. That is to say, thirty years old, in the cultural coordinates of the ancient people in China, is the age when the mind builds self-confidence.

It no longer opposes many external things, but forms a kind of integration and promotion, just like a couplet on Mount Tai, called "The sea ends, the sky is the shore, the mountain reaches the peak, and I am the peak". This is a feeling of China people for mountains and rivers. It has never been a conquest, but a self-improvement of mountains and rivers. Just like the sea comes to an end, the sky is the shore, and there is no boundary. When life reaches the peak of the mountain, it is not one. In fact, this is a realm of the Six Classics. So at the age of 30, it should be said that Confucius has been teaching students a simple and simple way of life. Don't worry about many things you shouldn't worry about, and behave well in front of them. As we know, in fact, Confucius didn't mention much about ghosts and gods. This is the so-called "Machamp's confusion without words". When students ask about such things, he also takes an evasive attitude. One of his students once asked ghosts and gods, and the voice-over said, "Teacher, are there ghosts and gods in the sky?" What the hell are those ghosts? ""you haven't done well on earth, why should you consider ghosts and gods? "Then the teacher told him flatly," If you can't serve people, how can you serve ghosts? "Have you ever served human affairs? You'd better make this kind of study simple. From now on, learn interpersonal relationships and don't think about ghosts and gods. Then I asked a very mysterious question.

Voice-over: "Teacher, everyone will die, so what about death?" "Why do you want to know about death before you know about life?" The teacher told him lightly, "How can you know death if you don't know life?" . In fact, "how can you know death if you don't know life?" These six words are an inspiration to us, that is, at the beginning of your study, learn and build as many things as possible that we can grasp in our life, without thinking about those distant or mysterious things that are beyond your age. Only in this way can you learn bit by bit, and when you are standing, you can really stand up. Therefore, my understanding of "standing at 30" is not an external social coordinate to measure how successful you have been, but an internal spiritual standard to determine whether your life has begun to have a clear introspection and whether it is leisurely; Start to have confidence and determination in what you do. I know that what many scholars in China do is not for utilitarian purposes. Liu Zongyuan's poem is well called "an old man fishing in the cold river-snow" Let's think about it. In such a cold winter, what did the lonely widower catch in our field of vision? No one can catch fish in winter, but he catches snow. This is what Wei Jin people said. When visiting a friend, you can cross the mountain overnight, cross the mountain and cross the water to the door of a friend's house and turn away without knocking. Why? I miss this friend. I came on impulse. I arrived and had a good time. In other words, going beyond utilitarianism to do something that I really recognize in my heart is probably an established standard, that is, what kind of standard I have recognized in my life. When such a criterion is lost again, it will not be confused for another ten or forty years.

How can I reach forty? This is that you have to live by subtraction from the age of 30, that is, learn to give up what you really need inside. In fact, our heart is like a new house. When people first moved in, they wanted to put all the furniture and decorations in. When the house was finally set as an alley, they found that there was no place to put themselves and they were enslaved by things. Learning subtraction means giving up friends you don't want to make, rejecting things you don't want to do, and even avoiding the injustice of making money. When they dare to give up, people are really close to being confused. What do you mean, not confused? That is, in the face of many injustices, blows and shortcomings given to you by the world, people no longer tirelessly ask why it is unfair, but quickly establish their due position on such a coordinate. Mr. Feng Youlan, a modern philosopher, has a saying: "Explaining the old country and helping the new students is extremely clear and moderate." The doctrine of the mean is actually extremely brilliant, that is, as the ancients in China said, extremely gorgeous, and it has really become extremely bright. At the age of 20 and 30, you used to carry forward, so only when you passed the "no confusion" did you show such calmness and detachment. Actually, people are in their thirties and forties. Only when it is to be used by society, then when you are 50 years old, there is a meaningful word called knowing your destiny.

Voice-over: What does Confucius mean by knowing destiny? It is often said that fate, fate, sometimes need to hit it off, there is no need to force it all the time. Does Confucius think that at the age of 50, he should be resigned to his fate? Professor Yu Dan believes that knowing destiny at fifty is by no means resigned to fate, so what is the destiny mentioned by Confucius?

What is fate? In fact, Confucius himself once said that when life reaches a certain point, you should study and study by yourself. At a certain point, people should "learn and achieve", that is, they should be able to understand what their destiny is. As we have said just now, in Confucius' classic thoughts, it is always forbidden to talk about "Machamp's disorderly gods". So what does he think of the destiny? "I don't blame others, I don't care about others. I went to school and I know who I am." He said that I never complained about God and others, that is, I didn't complain that fate had made me like this, and I didn't put the blame on others, saying that others had made me like this. What I want to learn is to achieve the goal of reaching heaven and earth. The "know me" here refers to a law of the Avenue of Heaven and Earth, which makes me conform to the Avenue. In fact, "don't complain about others, don't harm others and don't benefit yourself" is what we often say today. Is it easy to say only six words? If a person does this, it will be difficult for you to keep a lot of complaints and harsh criticisms to yourself, because when you stop blaming others, it means that you have lost many excuses for yourself. Then Confucius said, why can you do this? It is because a person's inner perfection and self-interpretation conform to the pursuit of the road, which is much more important than your requirements and harsh criticism of others in this society. Confucius said, "A gentleman is superior, but a villain gives orders.". Only a villain will constantly gossip in interpersonal disputes. It's just that the villain always thinks about how others are bad for him, and the gentleman prefers to establish a Covenant in his heart. Then this avenue is what he called "destiny". There is no need to do a lot of skills, that is, Confucius said: "I don't know my life, I don't think about a gentleman; Don't understand the ceremony, can't stand it; You can't know people if you don't know what to say. "What we are talking about here is the three realms of" know life "and" knowing words ". In fact, the growth of life is retrogressive. We are all the first people who "know words". By talking to others and reading books to understand this society, we can know people and how they are. However, after knowing someone, you can't guarantee that you don't care about others, and you will also complain about others, because everyone's "feet are short and inches are long", and there will be bumps between the lengths. The next level is "knowing the truth". After knowing the truth, people can "stand up", that is to say, after people establish themselves, such complaints will be much less; The higher level is "know life". This is what Confucius called knowing life. As a gentleman, he has established a self-circulating system, and he will have a calm power to fight against the outside world. This is knowing how to live.

Yu Dan's understanding of fate means that he has a determination to fight against the outside world.

Therefore, only at the age of 50 can we know the destiny, that is, at this time, we can basically reach the realm of Confucius, not complaining about others and treating others, which is an inner determination. In fact, this is also expressed in Zhuangzi's Happy Travel. It is said in "Happy Travel" that it is enough to "be famous all over the world without remonstration, and the world is not the world without depression, depending on the difference between inside and outside, and debating the realm of honor and disgrace". That's enough. What do you mean? "World-famous" When the whole world praises you, when others advise you to take a step forward, you will not be advised. This suggestion is an exhortation, that is, to go further and do more things with the encouragement and connivance of others. He said I wouldn't. Then "the whole world is not it" means that when the whole society is criticizing you, criticizing you and saying that you have done something wrong, you can make your heart not depressed and depressed. This is called deciding the difference between inside and outside.

In fact, when it comes to destiny, it will remind us of Jin Yong's narcissism in martial arts novels. That is to say, in the expression of China's martial arts novels, we often see a young Xia who made his debut with a Chinese Odyssey, which was a very sharp green wind sword. At this time, all those rustling shock waves and flamboyant brilliance are a gorgeous person. By the time he is proficient in martial arts, and in his thirties, he really settles down and becomes a sect, a leader, or a famous knight in the Jianghu. This person may use a blunt sword without a blade, because sharpness is no longer important to him now, and his internal skills begin to become heavier and stronger. By the time this man is in his forties, he has become such a great warrior, transcending one genre after another and becoming the embodiment of morality. This man may only use a wooden stick, that is to say, for him, the sharpness and texture of metal are the same, as long as there is such an external thing. When he really reaches the highest state, what is the state of seeking defeat alone, but he can't seek defeat alone, because at this time people have no weapons in their hands, and all 18 martial arts are internalized at this time, that is to say, when his hand comes out, he can send out a shock wave and turn his fist into a bronze hammer. All the martial arts are in this man's heart and on his limbs, so why can't the enemy take this move and crack it? It is because you don't know how much martial arts he has cast, so the realm of mastery has always been the highest realm advocated by China culture. The so-called knowing destiny is actually the truth of human learning, and finally it has reached a melting and casting promotion. After reaching this state, Confucius said, sixty is pleasant to the ear.

Voice-over, as the name implies, means that you can listen to everything. But in real life, we often encounter unpleasant things, hear unpleasant things, and even see unreasonable things. Even people in their sixties will inevitably have disputes. How can I really be obedient?

Confucius said: obedient at the age of 60, no matter what you listen to, you will feel that others are reasonable. This must be your own destiny. On this premise, you can respect others to the greatest extent. What is "obedient"? No matter what, you will feel that there is a reason for his existence; Listen to any kind of words, and you will stand in his starting point to understand why he said so. In fact, the "obedient" state, expressed by a word in China culture, is compassion, which means that we can really understand and understand everyone's starting point and interests, which is tolerance and experience.

Yu Dan's understanding and tolerance means sympathy and pity.

That is to say, when you meet so many people, when everyone presents himself in his way of life, we have reason to be surprised, but if your system can understand his system, if you know what his life course is today, maybe you will have more understanding. Why can Confucius teach students in accordance with their aptitude in the face of so many students? Actually, this is a height.

There is a saying that two clouds can only produce rain when they meet at the same height. Not high, not low. In fact, what is an obedient person? That is, no matter whether the cloud is 5000 meters or 500 meters, he can always understand his height, his position and his thoughts.

In fact, if a person wants to be obedient, he must first make himself extremely vast and be able to heal different heights, instead of carving a boat for a sword and sticking to his own standards in a certain place. In fact, it may be more appropriate to explain the "golden mean" from this angle. The "golden mean" is actually the internal edification and casting after learning all external knowledge. This kind of die casting is like the physics experiment that we often do in primary and middle schools. The teacher gave a pencil, drew a circle into seven equal parts, painted it with seven colors, poked it on the pen and turned it around, and white appeared. This whiteness is extremely gorgeous. In fact, this is a kind of integration of the outside world in my heart. After reaching this state, we can reach what Confucius said, from the age of 70 to 70, we can do whatever we want without crossing the line.

Schreiber: Can everyone do whatever they want at the age of 70 without overstepping the bounds? Do you have to wait until you are seventy years old to reach the highest level pursued by such an individual? Professor Yu Dan thinks that life is too short, and when you are 70, it will be too late. So, what can we do to reach the highest level of life as soon as possible?

I once read a story that there is a Buddhist temple with a very exquisite statue of Buddha carved with granite. Many people come here to worship every day, but the steps leading to this statue of Buddha are made of granite of the same rock. Finally, one day, these steps were not convinced. They protested against the Buddha statue and said, Look, we are brothers, from the same mountain. Why do people step on me to worship you? What's so great about you? The Buddha said a few words to these steps lightly, because it took you only four knives to get to where you are today, and I finally became a Buddha after a thousand pieces. Therefore, the more we look at the realm of life described by Confucius, the more we emphasize our hearts, and the more calm and peaceful we are. Before this calm, we actually have to go through many tests, even thousands. Only by understanding such an external process can we firmly establish our inner heart.

The description of such a life course mentioned by Confucius may also be a mirror of different milestones for us today. Look at your heart, have you stood up, have you lost some myths, have you gone to heaven and earth, have you been tolerant and compassionate to others, and have you finally achieved what you want. This concern is not enough, because life is short. In such an accelerated society, it is too late for us to wait until we are 70 years old. In fact, life has physiological age, psychological age and social age. We have a multidimensional era. A truly efficient life is to let us realize the realm of forty or fifty years old in advance, perhaps in our twenties or thirties. Maybe when we are forty years old, we can already achieve some kind of peace as we wish. Today's society puts too much pressure on everyone, but only one person can effectively establish the inner value system and turn this pressure into the anti-tension of life.

Only by establishing an internal value system can Yu Can Dan's thoughts turn pressure into the tension of life.

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