What should I do if I like avoidant attachment personality?

"I like you" is a simple sentence in the eyes of ordinary people, but it can never be expressed in the mouth of avoidant attachment personality.

Simply put, this is a psychological barrier. You like a person, once that person shows the same love to you, you will subconsciously escape and even start to hate that person. And when others don't like you, you start to feel good again.

The psychological process of mild patients is:

"I really want to fall in love."

"Really don't like me? Do you want to live alone all your life? "

"I really want someone to like me."

..... if anyone tries to get close. ......

"Don't fucking mess with me, leave me alone!"

The psychological process of critically ill patients is:

"I'm fine"

"Very good."

"Being alone is the happiest thing."

"How can there be such a thing as love? Can I eat? How much is a catty? What I haven't encountered for decades will hit me now? "

..... The common facial expression is: roll as far as you can. .....

The more you like it, the farther away you are.

Sometimes you feel that you don't want to fall in love, let alone love. You feel that you can't stand "over-intimacy" and can't accept an unfamiliar stranger intervening in your life, disrupting your rhythm and your heart. Once there are signs of intimacy, cut off contact immediately and hide under the banner of "Long live one person".

But I don't know if superficial escape can bring you real happiness.

It should be very painful for you with such a personality, or for you who like such classmates.

It looks like love rat love rat. In fact, when he is lonely at night, he can only feel sad secretly. He will blame himself for being a liar in his feelings, why he just chased others but didn't cherish it. But this kind of pain should only be known by avoidant personality. Maybe one day, drunk people want to take a step and try to make this relationship meaningful, but they are afraid of the violent response after waking up. I am at a loss day after day, avoiding myself.

The most terrible thing is true feelings.

Students who like this kind of person often think that feelings are a matter of two people, not a one-man show directed and performed by themselves, because they can't get any response and can't catch up with this kind of person for a long time or simply. Or feel tired and lost because of "avoiding children" who like the new and hate the old and are moody.

"I'm too tired to catch up."

Yes, we need a person with a strong heart to "stay far away, stay close and never give up".

Tell me about myself. I used to be an avoidant attachment personality and enjoyed being secretly loved. Once I approach the role of "love", I will immediately turn my face and keep my distance from my indifference.

The university began to study psychology intermittently, and learned that many "weird behaviors" in adulthood were caused by unsatisfied feelings in a certain aspect of childhood, resulting in some personality imperfections.

I was separated from my parents since I was a child, and I did not form an attachment relationship with my parents, so I formed my own defense system. I am very afraid of relying on others. I am paranoid and insecure. I often feel lonely, especially among busy people.

There is also inferiority, deep inferiority. This kind of inferiority usually has the illusion of conceit, but in fact it is the pain and helplessness caused by one's incompetence. I often laugh at myself, and I sometimes have emotional breakdown and cry for no reason.

Therefore, a person who seems confident to be conceited is actually an autistic person who does not recognize himself.

But to some extent, such people are often more talented.

In music, writing and other arts, because of rich emotions and enough time to be alone with yourself, sometimes you can calm down and do one thing.

How to get out of the confusion of "avoidant attachment" Maybe I like people who are more abnormal. In him, you can see his helplessness and pain, and you can feel the wry smile behind his choice against his will. You want to hold his hand and lead him out of his demons, but you can see him getting deeper and deeper in the "cage" he built.

Constantly reasoning with him and trying to change him will only intensify contradictions, and the stubborn ideas and perennial self-awareness of the other party will not compromise.

When he realizes that he may like you, don't think it is a good sign that his self-awareness has begun to awaken. This is a nightmare that his emotions start again and again. If you like him enough, you will be exhausted by his hesitation and impetuousness. Sometimes, a relationship may be sealed indefinitely by a sentence "I suggest you find someone who wants to love and knows how to love" before it begins.

Don't think that the cold war and short separation can remind him of you. Perhaps, he will think of you, but he will never take the initiative to contact you.

What kind of distance is the right space for him to adapt to the new environment and digest the intimate relationship?

What kind of communication is appropriate to avoid meaningless guesses and quarrels?

What kind of tolerance and understanding can make the other person realize that he has never left and accept the fact that he also likes you?

Sorry, I really want to know the answer, too.