Reverse narrative

Communication is two-way. Refuse to take things for granted and unilaterally communicate. We need to pay attention to the interactive nature and two-way feedback of communication.

Use reverse narrative to dig out and confirm more information.

Reverse narrative: According to your own logic, re-describe the information obtained from the previous structured listening, and ask the other party for confirmation.

After understanding the other party’s emotions, intentions and facts, you can:

1. Respond to emotions (demining)

Point out and accept the other party’s emotions, and let the other party take the initiative Examine and identify your own emotions, and respond positively to the other person's emotions.

After the other person feels accepted by you, he will return to rationality. At this point, don’t get entangled and go to the second part immediately.

2. Confirm the facts (information mining)

(1) First describe the facts you heard in your own words, such as: My understanding of the points you just said Yes..., I don’t know if I understand it correctly?

(2) If we don’t understand the information expressed by the other party at all, at this time, don’t escape, we can use a series of questioning techniques to ask, such as: Can you tell me more about it? ? Or just say directly, I'm sorry, I didn't understand very well here, can you tell me more?

3. Clear actions

According to all the previous information, translate the other party’s expectations into actions that can be implemented next, so that the other party can clearly feel that you really understand him meaning and planned actions according to his expectations.

For a good listener, it is important to understand yourself; it is also important to pass on the information you understand to the other party, giving the other party a sense of control, and allowing both parties to communicate with each other to achieve mutual understanding.

Write down what you hear:

Left: the part judged as fact

Right: the other person’s emotions, expectations, and your own feelings

Action List: What do I need to do? How should I act?