Why do boys want to talk to girls when they see them?

First of all, entering adolescence, the physiological characteristics of girls are intellectual machinery, strong visual thinking, and like to memorize; Boys have strong abstract and logical thinking, so they have strong understanding and memory, and their space and abstract imagination develop rapidly.

The girl is careful and handy, and has a good tactile memory. Boys are careless, although they have strong hands-on ability, but their tactile memory is not as good as that of girls. For example, in order to repair a bicycle, a girl asked a boy for help. Boys have strong hands-on ability and can repair bicycles quickly, but they don't care about the repair procedure and may not remember the repair process very carefully. Unlike a girl, she will give full play to her memory advantage and tell the boy every specific order of repairing the car last time.

Secondly, during this period, boys had a strong adventurous spirit, a wide range of interests and a stronger spirit of exploration. Their knowledge is wide and rich, they are interested in all the knowledge, and they want to experience everything, unlike girls who are stuck in a rut and lack initiative.

The characteristics of psychological differences between boys and girls lead to their different interests in subjects. In subjects that emphasize memory, such as Chinese, foreign languages, history, etc. Girls learn better; In subjects that emphasize understanding, such as physics and chemistry, boys show certain advantages. Of course, this is just the general situation.

Boys are more courageous and have more contact with things, but because of the lack of knowledge and social experience, they are easy to run into a wall and get confused; On the other hand, hitting a wall and being confused stimulates their curiosity and reflective ability, arouses their enthusiasm for thinking, and is conducive to giving play to their flexible thinking and ability to cope with various difficulties.

It is common for girls to learn all kinds of experiences and experiences by rote, and there are few chances of hitting a wall, which also leads to ruthlessness, poor flexibility and dullness.

Thirdly, in terms of self-awareness and self-social role identification, boys are more courageous than girls, because boys enter society earlier, often envy their fathers and brothers, imitate their words and deeds, and try their best to play the roles of fathers and brothers; They are extremely independent and are particularly willing to get rid of the care of their parents' wings as soon as possible. For example, some boys are willing to go out to play independently at this time; Girls are different in this respect. Even in high school, parents still need to play with them, which is related to women's dependence. Seeking protection is a psychological feature of women.

Due to the differences between physiology and psychology, the psychological development of teenagers is out of sync. Although boys are close to adults physically, they are still young in psychological age, and imitation is often blind, and they only learn skins. For example, some boys do not learn the ability of adults to judge right and wrong, but often learn to smoke and drink first. They naively think that a cigarette is an adult. Girls, on the other hand, began to pay attention to dressing up, perhaps not only because they imitated their mothers and sisters, but also because they wanted to please the opposite sex.

Finally, there are obvious differences between boys and girls in the quality of will. Most boys are cheerful, brave and strong, informal, regardless of minor right and wrong, and usually show the characteristics of being active, inquisitive and understanding; On the other hand, boys will also show such weaknesses as recklessness and rudeness, willfulness and stubbornness, bluffing, carelessness, lack of patience, and taking trifles lightly. Once they find themselves in trouble, they tend to be impatient and lack self-control. Because of their strong self-esteem and self-confidence, boys are particularly vulnerable and affect their mental health. The girl is diligent, dedicated, earnest and practical. Most of them are timid, indecisive, easy to give up, narrow-minded and emotionally fragile. Girls are patient, but this patience is sometimes accompanied by some bad tendencies, such as lack of initiative, lack of pioneering and conservatism.

"Trilogy" of Sexual Psychological Development

If we compare life to four seasons, adolescence is the spring when everything is in full bloom and full of vitality. After entering adolescence, the body began to grow and develop rapidly, especially with the massive secretion of sex hormones and the gradual maturity of sexual function, adolescents began to have secondary sexual characteristics. The change of physical appearance and the appearance of sexual maturity in adolescence will inevitably lead to subtle psychological changes, and a special emotion will also be produced in the heart. Sexual awareness will quietly open their closed hearts, and they will face the "challenge" from the opposite sex with excitement, curiosity, shyness and doubt.

The sexual psychological development of adolescent men and women roughly goes through three stages.

The first is the opposite sex alienation period.

After entering adolescence, boys and girls, who were originally two children playing together, suddenly became strangers to each other, avoided each other, stopped talking, stopped coming and going, and the boundaries between men and women were "clear", so they were very sensitive to gender and began to temporarily alienate the opposite sex. At home, some boys are willing to be close to their fathers, while girls are willing to talk to their mothers about their feelings. At school, because of the assignment of service work in the class, boys and girls talk more together, or boys and girls go to the blackboard to do problems together, both sides will feel red in the face, their hearts will beat wildly, and sometimes they will cause commotion. Girls are whispering below, and boys will laugh. This is the first step in the development of sexual psychology, that is, the temporary alienation period or sexual sensitivity period.

The temporary alienation between the opposite sex is most obvious in girls. Girls will feel shy and uneasy in front of the opposite sex because of their big breasts. When they see boys, they will avoid them at a distance, or bow their heads in a hurry, afraid to look at them with their eyes, and even unwilling to sit side by side with boys at adjacent tables in class. Of course, boys also show disdain or complete indifference to girls. At the end of class, boys and girls each tied a pile, boys exchanged their experiences in playing video games, and girls exchanged their favorite small gifts, which showed that "men" were not generous enough. This phenomenon generally occurs 1 ~ 2 years after the first appearance of secondary sexual characteristics in adolescence. With the further development of physiology and a basic understanding of sex, boys and girls will be happy to approach each other, eager to know, and deeply attracted by the opposite sex.

Followed by the opposite sex attraction period.

Adolescent boys and girls begin to express themselves well to attract the opposite sex after a period of alienation from the opposite sex Boys are willing to show their abilities and talents in front of girls. Boys fight in front of the opposite sex, or fight for money to buy food, or argue with their peers for the answer to a question, in order to win the favor and praise of girls. Girls, on the other hand, appear quiet and gentle, and begin to pay attention to the decoration and self-dressing of clothes, or apply some fragrant skin care products. Girls deliberately whine together, pulling and pushing each other in order to win the attention and love of boys.

During this period, boys and girls began to have a psychological tendency to care about and approach the opposite sex. They are not only aware of their physical and mental changes, but also begin to pay close attention to the changes of the opposite sex very sensitively, and have a mysterious freshness to the opposite sex. This kind of worry may only stay in the inner layer. On the surface, it seems that he is still avoiding contact with the opposite sex, but he is constantly paying attention to the opposite sex and making comments and comparisons. Seemingly shy and reserved, she actually cares about her image in the eyes of the opposite sex. In addition, caring for the opposite sex often becomes an externalized action, helping the opposite sex to solve problems, giving ideas, using things of the opposite sex as an excuse, or using special smiles, grimaces, special eyes and a meaningful sentence to express closeness to the opposite sex. With the externalization of performance, people are increasingly showing a strong and irresistible feeling of heartbreak or tenderness, in order to express their envy and attraction to the opposite sex. At the same time, there will also be boys who treat the words, deeds and clothes of the opposite sex with a friendly and appreciative attitude, trying to approach the opposite sex directly or indirectly, implicitly or boldly to attract the attention of the opposite sex and achieve their own goals. When boys approach girls, they will also find that girls are quietly changing themselves and becoming kind, innocent and lovely; Girls will focus on a boy or a group of boys. Pay attention to their strength, generosity, culture, courtesy and trustworthiness, and pay attention to their clothes, looks and even their home address and telephone number. For example, in class, the teacher asks the boy to speak, and some girls will listen to his speech, voice, expression, right and wrong very attentively, and they will be delighted with his wonderful answer from the heart, and they will also feel anxious and uncomfortable because of his embarrassment and wrong answer. When several good girls get together, they will tentatively talk about the boys they have noticed or exchange views on boys.

Adolescent men and women's affection for the opposite sex generally occurs after girls 12 ~ 13 and boys 13 ~ 14. Boys will not hesitate to say, "I am quick-thinking and smart in front of girls." Show uncontrollable excitement. Girls pay special attention to their appearance, and the posture of talking and walking also means dressing up and paying attention to it, showing more femininity and sense of adulthood, while treating others with unique reserve and even some affectation, but they can still see their inner weakness and superficial shyness. Their similarity is that they are both willing to participate in outings, parties and various social activities organized by the opposite sex, and both sides try their best to play their best.

This psychology that boys and girls are willing to approach and attract each other is an inevitable stage in the development of adolescent sexual psychology, which is very beneficial to eliminate the mystery and tension between the opposite sex and enhance the unity and friendship between men and women. Therefore, young friends should not think that others are frivolous and have quality problems just because they are willing to show themselves in front of the opposite sex, nor should they feel uneasy because they have been paying attention to the opposite sex and want to know the opposite sex.

Thirdly, it is the attachment period of the opposite sex.

The attachment period of adolescent boys and girls is also called primitive love period. This is the third period of adolescence, called trilogy. We won't introduce their probation period from high school to university for the time being, which is close to the phenomenon of adult mate selection, but it is not fully mature, and there are many immature behaviors and phenomena, and their adolescent education is not the focus of our book.

Sooner or later, when the opposite sex in adolescence approaches and attracts each other, they will take off the hazy veil of the past and turn their attention to a specific individual, which will produce a good desire to get close. Most of them occur at the age of 15 ~ 16. This is the development from the approaching period of the opposite sex to the attachment period or primitive love period of both sexes. During this period, they generally have a strong attachment in their hearts, but they dare not show it publicly. Most of them do not directly express their desire for love through physical contact, but only express their emotional purity through spiritual and psychological communication. If teenagers' sexual impulse in the middle of adolescence is better than reason, and most of them are "love at first sight" or recklessness, then heterosexual communication in the late adolescence is still in a stage of "special liking" and sexual psychological development. Although they have more calm and rational elements in their hearts, they can't compare with adults in dealing with the rationality and restraint of heterosexual communication. Educators in the former Soviet Union have a saying, which may be the best answer to the psychological course of young men and women in this period: "The feelings between young men and women are completely different from those of adults. In the rich and meaningful spiritual life, the secret of the relationship between boys and girls is covered by ideals, pure and noble motives and mutual proximity. The objective basis of their love is sexual instinct. However, if you tell them directly, they will be surprised. " From the practical experience of our predecessors, we have strengthened the conclusion that adolescent boys and girls can only cherish their feelings for the opposite sex in their hearts as a good wish, no matter how good reasons they give. When they really become men, they will greet you with a hundredfold strength, enthusiasm and maturity. Please believe us.

References:

Le Wang