I want to find an article published in Germination magazine, entitled "Taking Time", written by Sue.

1 operator

1998, Qingyuan and I are the closest friends. Autumn came, and we entered the best high school in the city at the same time. I 15 years old this year, and she is one year older than me.

In order to be admitted to this high-level middle school, I struggled with parabolic gravity acceleration for a whole year in the third grade. Life is a crumpled piece of paper, smelling of chemicals, and every crack is full of intense bitterness and panic. Fortunately, the result is still expected. Qingyuan is different from me. She is clever, but she doesn't like studying. Before the college entrance examination, she was still holding a novel all day, and she was dissatisfied. However, her parents, who are very rich and eager to love their daughters, just sent their precious daughters to the halls with glistening money. After getting the news, she came to my house excitedly and hugged me as soon as she opened the door. Xiao Mei, we can be together again. Then I dug out the homemade red bean ice from the refrigerator, and they sat cross-legged on the bed, eating happily. She ate so badly that sugar juice dripped all over my bed. Knowing that I wouldn't bother, I wiped it with a towel.

I am wearing a long skirt with fine tassels under the water blue hem, and Qingyuan is wearing a fresh and bright beige sweatshirt. Let's report together. Sunlight, like a fish swimming in its tail, emerged from the leaves of the buttonwood tree and made her big black and white eyes shine. Many people pay attention to this direction, mostly to Qingyuan, a beautiful and proud girl.

She took my hand and ran quickly, and my mood fluttered with the skirt. You are so young, who will pay attention to the sadness of the so-called distant world?

I'm in Class 8, and Qingyuan 16 is upstairs. /kloc-the boss of class 0/6 is known as the "extinct teacher" and is keen on dragging his feet. After the evening study, I often wait for her outside her classroom for a long time, and the people in her class gradually get to know me. We walked to the school gate together, bought some barbecues or a box of ice cream, and stood under the tree eating and chatting. Then she left, I turned right and went home separately.

At that time, slam dunks swept the country. Schools often organize basketball leagues between grades and classes, and almost everyone in the school participates in them. Every game is very lively. The team of our class, led by Miracle, who is smiling and sunny, which everyone likes very much, made it all the way to the semi-finals, but it fell into the hands of 16 class when it entered the second place. I am a person with a strong sense of collective honor, so I am extremely disgusted with the members of class 16, especially the captain of the general tackle. Long hands and feet, like baboons. So later, I often hid in class 16 and whispered to the back that there was an oil spill in Chi Yuan and an oil spill in Chi Yuan.

Chi Yuan is that annoying baboon.

However, this baboon has won its own name and status in a series of competitions. All the girls in the whole grade know him, and many people write him love letters, including Xiaoman, the most beautiful girl in our class. When waiting for Qingyuan, I often see a bunch of girls around him. Everyone can see that the original intention of drunkards is not to drink. He stood in the middle and said nothing, pretending to be cool. Gossiping with Qingyuan in private, baboons are really prosperous, and so are romantic ghosts. Qingyuan smiled. She knows that I have always been unfriendly to boys who like to attract bees and butterflies.

Fang Ting for two.

When I was a sophomore, I was divided into arts and sciences. Qingyuan came downstairs with a book, and the damn baboons followed. What's more, he actually became my deskmate. I gave him a cold look, and the first thing he said was, "I remember you." I continued to bend my head to do the problem. "You often wait for Fang Qingyuan at the gate of our class without looking at anyone." Uh, is that right? I can't help looking up at him. "You booed me during the game." He knows all this. I blushed. "I know you, too, baboon." His expression looks as if he had been punched. I am in a good mood to win back a city.

Later, every time the class arranged seats, Chi Yuan magically appeared next to me. You know, the ranking is based on the ranking in every monthly exam. I have never seen him study hard at all, which makes me unfair and makes him proud. Looking at my incredible expression on the report card is mostly his pleasure. But in the end, I was influenced by the idea that learning is the highest since I was a child, and my attitude towards him was softened because of his good grades. I found out after I got familiar with him that he was really silent and didn't take the initiative to talk to people. At best, he just plays garrulous with people who have good relationships, and most of the time he is even childish. My impression of him changed completely after I saw Yu Xiaoman holding another boy's hand and he was indifferent. To tell the truth, such a person who is slow-witted, has vulgar interests and loves reading comics will rob girls of lollipops. He is ashamed of the reputation of Lan Ba. For those little girls who are infatuated with him, I am not worth it. These people are just confused by his superficial appearance.

Qingyuan continued to receive endless love letters from her, and I continued to accompany her to avoid being chased by enthusiastic suitors, which became her goal rain or shine. She often clings to me with innocent eyes and sweet voice, and says, Little Mae, Little Mae, thank you for doing so much for me. I gave her a knowing smile. My dear sister Qingyuan, she is so beautiful, like the first rose with dew in the morning light, fragrant and attractive, but under closer inspection, she will converge and return to her gentle and lovely daughter state. She is the unattainable beauty of boys, haunting their dreams and worries. I watched and didn't move.

Chi Yuan once asked me curiously, you and Fang Qingyuan have completely different personalities. How can you be so good? How so good. I smiled slightly. Actually, it wasn't like this at first. I met her on the first day. She is like a cat with sharp teeth. She is irritable and prone to losing her temper. She is always ready to fight with the people around her. Children's hearts are sensitive and fragile, so Qingyuan, a beautiful girl loved by her family and boys, is lonely among her classmates. At that time, his grades were good, his personality was not bad, and his popularity at school was good. My world with her is so far away, it's just a friendship to go home together. However, something happened in the middle, and then we became very close. As for what, there is no need to publicize it. Do you understand that nothing in this world, no matter what feelings, can be easily obtained?

Blurred or clear nail prints on hands are all left when Qingyuan is unhappy or fighting. Until now, she is not a gentle and graceful lady.

However, although she is not gentle, obedient and doesn't like learning, she is really a good girl. Very good.

Chi Yuan still turned his head. I looked at his vest and thought, you think, I don't know, you also like Qingyuan.

The three of us went climbing together. After all, the girl couldn't resist the temptation and rushed into the flowers with joy. Chi Yuan, with a green flower stem in his hand, followed it at a distance, smiling with golden fragrance. Qingyuan had petals on his forehead, so I brushed them off. She grinned and showed it to me. "Look at him, now he looks like a scholar." Her eyes are flowing, and she seems to collect the whole spring. I looked at them and suddenly felt that I could do much here.

When going down the mountain, Qingyuan jumped to the front. I bent down to pick a bunch of bell-like purple flowers on the mountain wall, but I couldn't reach them. I reached out and helped me take it off easily. "Hey, Chi Yuan, you like Qingyuan, right?" Frightened by my sudden question, I was surprised to see the shy expression on the face of the boy who always looks like a rogue with me on weekdays. This look makes my heart inexplicably soft.

In early spring, the branches and leaves of trees are fresh and tender green, the fragrance of green plants in the air is moist and distant, and the rhododendrons on the other side of the mountain are singing tactfully. Then, I heard the boy's deep and gentle voice behind me: "Of course, I like her."

3 Queqiaoxian

Qingyuan has received the most beautiful and exquisite love letters in recent years. The delicate roses on her desk are in full bloom, and the blue writing paper is hidden in the stars. Giving flowers openly to show love is really rare in this relatively conservative high school, which shocked the whole class. She stuttered a little when she showed it to me. I smiled at her. "It is true that clowns in Chi Yuan can do this." She blushed in my eyes, pinched me and ran away.

Actually, it's not too late. Three months of breakfast, I was a talented woman's careful creation, not to mention knowing Qingyuan so well and reading many love letters at different levels. I know better than him how to make girls soft-hearted.

When summer comes, Chi Yuan has been holding Qingyuan on her way to school. The proud Qingyuan finally succumbed to his feelings. On the other side is Chi Yuan, who is equal and has a beautiful reputation. Since then, the suitors of both sides have stopped and turned around in vain. Because, the two of them, they look so good together.

After the college entrance examination, two people asked me to go for a walk by the river one night. The phoenix tree on the shore is tall and lush, and the branches and leaves under the street lamp are green and compelling. This is the way to Qingyuan's home. The winter before last, she was afraid of loneliness, so I sent her home every day and then came back. She will always be as beautiful as autumn chrysanthemum and as cold as ice in front of outsiders, but she is as weak as a real little woman in my place. That year, I watched the plane tree leaves wither day by day, and the sound of withered veins breaking when I stepped on them sounded lonely and empty in the street at night. Later, I rarely took this road, my studies were too busy, and Qingyuan also had a company. The passage of these years is imperceptible.

Wow, Chi Yuan jumped down from the tree, holding two bright magnolia flowers in his hand, smiling and handing them to the beautiful woman. Qingyuan spat at him, took it and handed me another one. She couldn't help laughing. The river wind blows slowly, and the wet water vapor dissipates bit by bit. This quiet midsummer night makes people feel a little trance-like sadness.

4 Jiangchengzi

My university is a city far from my hometown. Qingyuan is in Jiangcheng, and Chi Yuan went to Xi 'an. Three people really live far apart, relying only on the internet and telephone. One day after half a year, I looked up information on the Internet, and when I met Chi Yuan, I had a decadent speech that I couldn't hide. He said, Qingyuan wants to break up with me and I can't get it back. I'm surprised. How did this happen? Qingyuan never mentioned it to me. I know that Chi Yuan regards me as a reliable friend, and because of my mutual affection with them, he is willing to tell me frankly. But he didn't say why, he just said something that made people feel disheartened, and his mood was bleak for a while. I don't ask questions, although I know it is difficult to understand, but I can only say something comforting slowly.

I asked Qingyuan why. And she doesn't need twists and turns. There was a long silence, and someone whispered a few words. I am so lonely.

I am speechless, and then I feel distressed. I know she is proud on the surface, but she is afraid of loneliness. A passionate person like Chi Yuan can easily get warm support, but it won't last long. There used to be me. Now, I'm not with her.

Are you going to abandon your past? I'm still trying to persuade.

Suppressed sobs came from the microphone. Little Mae, I've been walking alone for too long, and I'm afraid of this loneliness. When I woke up from a nightmare at night, I was lying in bed with a fever and couldn't even pour a glass of water. I am walking alone at school. I watched other girls walk hand in hand, but I couldn't see him or touch him. Do you know what that feels like, Xiaomei? This is a black hole. I am so desperate that I am going crazy and being swallowed up. I don't want a phone. I want him, the real him. I can't get it. May, I can't hold on any longer. I need company.

Before hanging up, I heard her whisper, Mikey, he is the first person I like.

Chi Yuan became addicted to the Internet, and he could be seen every time he went online. In one video, he is horribly gaunt and thin, and the broken hair on his forehead covers his eyes. I don't know how long he hasn't been in charge. He used to be a very smug boy. I couldn't help cursing him, but he stopped arguing with me and just smiled piteously. Walking on the way to school, the purple phoenix tree flowers fell all over the floor, and the air was filled with charming and almost erosive fragrance. I remember it seems that not long ago, a good-looking boy said firmly that I like her. Then he smiled at me, and his eyes were full of golden flowers all spring. In early spring, the fragrance of plants and trees spread slowly, and yellow flowers filled all the memories.

At that time, he got a small tree from nowhere, planted it carefully in the back garden of the school with Qingyuan, and then confidently told us that he could eat loquat when he came back in a few years.

I remembered Qingyuan's gloomy words. Chi Yuan was her first love.

However, feelings are only a matter of two people, and no matter how close you are, you can't get rid of it. I understand this truth. I have no responsibility to them.

I went to get a network card, surf the Internet every day, chat with Chi Yuan, and talk about some messy business. Sometimes I send funny stories and exquisite pictures I look for everywhere, and bicker with him for fun, as if I were back in high school. I loved reading novels in class at that time. He forced me to listen to loud rock music. I have done countless English homework for him. He smiled and asked me to steal the book I rented. I never let go of his satire to attack his narcissism and arrogance, and his rebuttal is getting stronger and stronger.

The days passed day by day. My eyes are often dry, so I bought bottle after bottle of eye drops. In the past, Chi Yuan's words gradually became angry, and he was no longer as depressed as he was at first.

Qingyuan, I mentioned it once at first, and he immediately stopped talking to people. From then on, we seemed to have a tacit understanding and deleted her from the conversation.

Qingyuan and I have lost contact, and the phone is not there. Online avatars have always been gray. I think she wanted to heal, so she deliberately cut off all memories connected with the past. I don't bother her either. I just gave her her favorite chocolate on her birthday. I don't know who spent her birthday with her this year. Perhaps, sweet things can comfort the lovelorn heart.

Going home on holiday, Chi Yuan went to Guangzhou, which should be avoided deliberately. It's a little embarrassing that the road of three people has become two people. Qingyuan is thinner than before, with a slender waist and deep eyes. She fell on my body for a long time and didn't speak. I can't help sighing.

Why bother? I used to think that if two kinds of feelings lasted for a long time, it would not be a matter of time. How can distance block anything, except to make thoughts and feelings more distant and longer, enough to firmly support those empty times. But now I'm beginning to doubt it. I have never set foot in their love, so I really can't guess what two opposing people are thinking in the rushing river.

If love tortures each other like this, I would rather be alone than fall into this evil obstacle of love.

Both of them are generally stubborn and generally face-saving. So the two conflict and never give up.

The night was like a curtain, so we lay down and listened to music for a long time. Qingyuan refused to turn on the light. In the darkness, the female voice sang faintly: There has never been a DRFAM-

Qingyuan once had a short skirt with dark green flowers and white yarn on it. On my birthday last year, everyone was joking. Her skirt is covered with a lot of cream, which has a sweet taste. She wore my white cotton skirt and played barefoot with Chi Yuan in the living room. I held scented tea and looked at it with a smile.

That scene seems to be a lifetime ago.

5 partridge day

Chi Yuan and Qingyuan have a new boyfriend, Xie Hang. I hear it's good for her.

After a period of silence. Summer in Guangzhou is really fucking hot. Fortunately, there are many beautiful women. By the way, I bought you a birthday present, which has been sent out. Don't be too moved.

Scold me again. What an illiterate person. I criticise, but my heart is moved and spread. This careless man remembers my birthday. Once upon a time, I clamored for a gift from him.

The gift was received four days later. A paper box tied with light blue silk opened a thin silver chain with a little mermaid on it and lowered her eyes. Elegant arc, like a tear. When we were joking together that year, I said that I liked Andersen's mermaid legend best. He also despised me for being simple-minded and chasing children, and Qingyuan and I were crazy about it. I held the necklace in my hand and the diamond stung my palm.

Winter in the north comes very early, and the long wind withers all the leaves overnight, and then the heavy snow comes for the appointment. I have always been afraid of the cold, and often hide in the warm bed early. One night, the wind was howling outside and I was sleeping when my cell phone rang. It's Chi Yuan. Afraid of disturbing my roommate's rest, I wrapped a coat and ran to the corner of the corridor to answer the phone. He was obviously drunk, and his words were vague: "I wanted to spend her birthday with her, but she, hehe, was with another man, laughing so happily-women, what are they?" It must have been six months ago. He's just released now. I don't answer the phone, I just listen quietly. The coat can't stop the biting cold of the snowy night, and it is still shivering in the corner. For a long time, he finally said he was tired and hung up the phone. I shook the cable and went back to bed, but I didn't sleep all night

The next day, I had a cold and a fever, and I felt very discouraged in bed. This is such a thing. It was someone else who fell in love, and it was me who fell. Chi Yuan called when he woke up, and I called him weakly: disaster. He was very happy and apologized to me. I'm really sorry, otherwise, I will promise myself. I was just about to argue for irony when he suddenly stopped laughing. Zhu Mei, thank you for taking so long. Really. You finally found your conscience. I'm a little unaccustomed to his serious appearance, and I want to relax the sudden dignified atmosphere.

I've figured it out, since she wants a new life, I shouldn't be naive about the past. Whether you are happy or sad, life has to go on as usual, which is what you told me.

I lay groggy, my head was a little dizzy, and I was wandering like a dream. I put something down in my heart. It seems that something has floated up again, and the joys and sorrows are inseparable and fluctuating. I fell asleep.

6 magnolia

I said, stop surfing the internet often. You must pass Band 6. Get a scholarship. What if you go to bed so late? It is better to get up early to exercise.

Chi Yuan hey hey a smile. You have the potential to be Obasan.

I flew over with a knife.

Qingyuan started telling me about her new boyfriend. I listen with a smile, rarely interrupt, and occasionally only make fun of a few words.

Life seems to be back on track. Everyone has a different way to go. Since it is your choice, as long as you feel happy and can get rid of it, there is nothing for outsiders to say.

None of us has the right to interfere in other people's lives and choices.

Time flows quietly like a silent river. Some people say that you can't see what it brings or what it needs. It's just passing by.

During my sophomore summer vacation, Chi Yuan dragged me to see the loquat tree. On that day, he carved a deep mark on the tree with a knife. Now the young trees have green branches and leaves, and the imprint is difficult to distinguish. He was silent and a little disappointed. I stood behind him, looking from a distance, three familiar figures emerged in the sun, with faint laughter and vague memories.

Nothing can be erased by time.

Except for the wrinkles on this thin face. I touched my face and felt a little sad and sorry.

He looked at me and smiled. Relax in an instant. I saw the fragrant flowers that day again, and I smiled inexplicably.

Chi Yuan gradually stopped laughing and looked at me quietly. I was a little panicked by him.

I remember. Chu Mae, the first time I saw you, you were with Fang Qingyuan, wearing a long blue dress, like a small one, he was thoughtful, small, an orchid.

7 Tasha shop

Qingyuan asked me if I had a boyfriend. I smiled. I can't help it There is little grass. Otherwise, your Xie Hang will leave me alone. After that, I once ran away, but suddenly I remembered that she had stopped pinching me. Now it is Xie Hang who is bound by this intimate "criminal law".

In a blink of an eye, I am 20 years old.

The birthday party is a small class reunion. Everyone is poking fun at Qingyuan and Xie Hang. The boy she brought is tall and handsome, slightly similar to Chi Yuan, but everyone is laughing and unrestrained, but he is incompatible with Chi Yuan's silence. Chi Yuan came very late. When he scanned the crowd, his eyes only moved slightly. In an instant, his big hand fell on my shoulder: Obasan, congratulations on your promotion to the third grade. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He went to greet people he knew, but his expression remained the same in the face of Qingyuan, but Qingyuan was a little uncomfortable. I watched without a trace, quietly.

Xie Hang was considerate to Qingyuan, but she was a little absent-minded and kept looking at me and Chi Yuan doubtfully. That man is robbing me of the fruit pie on my cake. He is very happy, completely intimate and does not avoid suspicion. I paused, but I still didn't speak.

After the party, I drank too much and felt a little dizzy. Chi Yuan helped me to blow my hair by the river to clear my head. Still the same road, still the same river wind, we walked silently all the way, and no one spoke. Not far away, Qingyuan caught up from behind.

You guys are together? How can you be together? Her expression was obviously angry.

I opened my mouth, but I didn't speak. Chi Yuan's hand came down from my shoulder and took mine.

Yes, we are together. Why not?

I opened my eyes wide. Xiao Yuan, I used to like you. But now, I like Chu Mae, only Chu Mae.

I knew it from the day I went to the botanical garden. Zhu Mei, I like you. I just dare not tell you, for fear that I am not qualified.

Chiyuan's deep and beautiful eyes stared at me, and I saw the sincerity and compassion inside. Before I knew it, the man had been pushed to the ground, his arm was bruised and it hurt a little. There are stars dancing before my eyes. I heard Chi Yuan's angry voice. What are you doing? !

He came to help me. Zhu Mei, why you? I can accept any woman around him, but why you? Qingyuan's voice is very harsh.

I suddenly lost all the power to defend and speak.

Chi Yuan followed me closely. Fang Qingyuan, I know you too well. Wake up, I won't be yours from the day we say goodbye. Are you happy to put the illustrations you played on it? Once you don't want it, you don't want others to cherish it even if you put it in a drawer, do you? You want everyone to be with you forever, but everyone has the right to choose and their own happiness. Not Zhu Mei, someone else. No matter who it is, it will not be tolerated. Xiao Yuan, you can't be so arrogant and selfish.

Tears rolled down Qingyuan. Looking at her sad appearance, I forgot everything else and my heart ached badly. I pushed Chi Yuan away and walked up to her, trying to wipe away her tears. She gave me a tight squeeze. Jumei, Chi Yuan, I won't forgive you.

I stayed there and watched her back disappear into the gloomy night. There are many kinds of unspeakable pains in the body, which are colliding, tearing and shaking all over. Chi Yuan hugged me from behind, and I froze.

I remember many years ago, my father left because of illness, and his mood was unprecedentedly low. At school, my world fell apart overnight because of misunderstanding. When I thought I was helpless alone in the dark, a beautiful and cold girl came quietly and took my hand. She opened a window for me in the dark and the sky leaked in. That brief warmth and light made me willing to make all efforts and treat her with the softest heart in the days to come. I will hurt her unless she no longer needs me.

8 Dingfengbo

Qingyuan, today is your birthday again. You really won't talk to me again. However, I have a lot to say to you. You used to talk, but today, can you be my listener?

Qingyuan, do you remember Xue Zijun? I'm afraid you have forgotten. There are so many people who admire you, Xue Zijun. He is a handsome and elegant boy with quiet eyes like a bamboo forest in the moonlight, hiding all the secrets of fireflies and planetesimals. From the first day he met you, he began to fold lucky stars for you. Every star has a wish and a blessing. He traveled all over the city for your birthday present. He played a joke on you, looking for glowing white shells by the river all night. He wrote a thick diary for you. However, you proudly walked past him again and again, crushing his dignity. He later dropped out of school, and only I met him the day he left. His figure is thin and lonely, and my heart has been hurting ever since. You know, Qingyuan, I have never met such a clean and peaceful boy in these years.

I stared at him with such humility that he wouldn't find out. But I can't tell him that I like him. Just because of the brilliance in his eyes, he never shines only for you.

Qingyuan, I know you are a girl who is too afraid of loneliness. You are eager for others' concern and like others' attention, just as flowers need sunshine. Even if not, there is never a clear message of despair. Chi Yuan is your exception. In fact, I didn't know anything at that time. I just didn't say it, just because it was what you wanted. At that time, your wish was my hope.

But why Xue Zijun?

Why they only like you. Including people I admire deeply.

At that time, Xue Zijun left, which was such a hasty farewell. For a long time, I have always wanted a generous compensation. Only now, I have to admit that once things are lost, they can never come back. This defect will be eternal life.

Chi Yuan was very sad when he left. I saw tears in his eyes. I feel like a sinner, pulling him back from the abyss and releasing him easily. I can only say sorry to him. I can't give him love after all. The looming concern and the ambiguity between the eyebrows and eyes are all my misunderstandings about him intentionally or unintentionally. What hides the truth is that sad and humble heart many years ago, watching the boy I love leave me bit by bit and disappear into my sight.

This is the person who once loved you like that, and it is also the person you seriously liked for the first time. Why I can't walk into his sight. Why not?

Only when the final endings were presented one by one did I find that I had lost everything.

Qingyuan, you have no idea how much I miss our time together. Reading the same poems, singing the same songs, walking the same youthful path with green branches and leaves, and stepping on the same sad sunset hillside.

We are such close sisters. But now, we still have to separate.

Qingyuan, will you think of me occasionally? Will you part with me?

The empty busy signal in the microphone sounds particularly clear in the silence like water. I suddenly felt tired, so I hung up the phone gently.

Magnolia in a light blue porcelain bottle silently withered the first petal in the deep night.