Joke Collection Website - Mood Talk - What should I do if I want to send a message to my customer on April Fool's Day? Who is the master? Give me a word.
What should I do if I want to send a message to my customer on April Fool's Day? Who is the master? Give me a word.
Portrait of your life: at the age of ten, learn to bathe yourself-pigs wash themselves; Twenty years old is radiant-when the pig is young; Looking for a job at the age of 30-starting a pig-raising career; At the age of forty, he hired a servant-a pig's servant; At the age of fifty, I learned to play basketball-throwing pigs.
It's already deep at night. I woke up from my sleep because I thought of you. Why do you always leave me quietly in the middle of the night? I really need you. Where did you drop the pillow?
You are a passionate crow, you are a lively frog, you are a sweet potato that comes out of the mud and is not stained, and you are a fiery prawn in my heart. I want to greet you gently: lovely fool who read my message, how are you now?
My heart is very sad, tears are pouring down my face, and my character is good. Why do you love others and not me, my dear RMB!
The clear river flows with feelings, and great friendship can be known at a glance. Who should I tell about a beautiful tomorrow? I'll send the message to an idiot!
Why did I send you a message? Because I don't want to see you. Why don't I want to see you? Because I dare not look at your face. Why can't I look at your face? Because I just threw up yesterday.
The bell rang, the light came on, the music sounded, the lid was opened ... Sorry, it's not your mobile phone, I'm looking for imported high-grade toilets.
In order to consolidate our friendship, narrow the gap between the east and the west, curb the disparity between the rich and the poor, end social division, stabilize social order and promote Socialism with Chinese characteristics's modernization ... lend me 200 yuan!
Hello, donor! We are disciples of Shaolin Temple. When you receive this message, we have deducted the donation from 50 yuan from your mobile phone bill. In order to thank you, this temple grants you the highest law number: mental retardation.
In this annual Christmas, please God give me courage and strength. I must say those three words to you: go to hell!
It's a mess now … I don't know what I'm thinking … I'm bored to death … I really don't know what to do? Can you tell me ... I really don't know whether to eat Lamian Noodles or Zhajiang noodles!
A pig and a penguin were kept in a cold storage at MINUS 20 degrees. The penguin died the next day, and the pig was fine. Why? You don't know? By the way, pigs don't know either!
Not every flower can represent love, but roses can; Not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplar can; Not every pig can read text messages, but you did. Congratulations!
Urgent reminder: look at the left first, then look at the right. Please be careful of a psycho who just slipped out. His characteristic is: looking around with a mobile phone.
On the journey of our friendship, sometimes you can't see me by your side. It's not that I forgot you, much less. But I choose to walk behind you. When you accidentally fell down, I ran up and stepped on my foot!
The Bible says that the number of fools in this world is infinite. God told me that it is easy to prove his words-the number of people receiving this message is just infinite!
I heard that a toad jumped out of Taihu Lake today and was run over by a school bus. I have been worried, so I sent you a short message. If you are still alive, please reply to me. By the way, what's the name of your partner who was run over!
Everyone loves you because you have inherited the traditional advantages of oriental women: one beauty, two goodness, three sages, four diligence, five gentleness, six purity, seven simplicity and eight modesty. In order to highlight your advantages, everyone likes to call you a bitch!
That summer afternoon, I took you into the green tent. The sun was shining high and the breeze lifted my clothes. We had a wonderful afternoon together: you bowed your head and ate grass, while I read the picture book!
How can you describe your inner feelings when you look at yourself decorated with golden jade hands? Her shy little face flushed faintly, and when she remembered what had just happened, she said to herself, Why do you always break the toilet paper when you wipe your ass?
Legend has it that my lover is a hero on earth and will step on colorful clouds to marry me one day. I guessed in advance, but I didn't guess that he had a pig head who could read text messages!
Hello, I'm an alien. I have been trying to get in touch with people on earth for many years. This is the 250th experiment. For the convenience of statistics, if you receive and understand this message, please stand at the highest place nearby and shout: I am 250.
The animal world is amazing: the ugly duckling is painted with whitening cream and turned into a white swan; Toad painted with acne spirit turned into a little frog ... the little monkey who read the text message should use depilatory cream, maybe it can really become a person!
Wooden furniture, scholars know poetry, people think about money, talents practice, geniuses send messages, fools read messages!
If girls are divided into five grades according to their beauty, temperament, cuteness, patriotism and obeying traffic rules, you can only rank between patriotism and obeying traffic rules.
Tips for self-test of vital capacity: After farting, lower your head and inhale fiercely, and then observe whether people around you smell strange smell. If so, you must strengthen your exercise according to this method; If not, then prove that you are superman.
Abandoned? Being bullied? Homeless ... don't forget, even if people all over the world don't like you and ignore you, at least there is us-the Animal Protection Association.
I suddenly lost myself when you flashed by. Looking at your back, I really wanted to keep you, but I was immersed in the moment when you made me unforgettable in my life. I told myself I couldn't let you go, and I shouted at the top of my lungs: Stop thief!
Suddenly, I met you, and I was at a loss. I can't avoid your affectionate eyes. I know your heart, I ran away desperately, but you followed closely. I cried: "whose dog nobody cares!" " "
I have good news and bad news for you. The good news is ... your patience has won my respect; The bad news is … I will work harder to repair you!
Congratulations on your mobile phone number winning the grand prize. The prize is a notebook computer. Please go to bin Laden's official residence to receive the prize. For the convenience of users, American special combat opportunities will airdrop you with Tomahawk missiles.
According to statistics, 90% people in the world lack calcium! There is a simple way to test whether your teeth are calcium deficient. The method is to bite ivory chopsticks with your teeth and spit them out after biting. Haha … who can say that dogs can't spit ivory!
I sent a message to the caterpillar, and she read it, did it, and turned into a butterfly and flew away; You want it too. I sent it to you as it is, but how did you become a fly? It can't fly far!
Without the fragrance of flowers and the height of trees, I am a grass that no one knows. I grew up for thousands of years, just to hold your feet tightly when you pass by-I can't trip you, little sample!
Let me tell you a secret: my phone number is 520 13 14, my email password is 520 13 14, and my passbook password is still 520 13 14. Oh, I forgot to tell you, my nickname is cheat you to death!
I saw you in the street the other day. You are with someone. I saw at a glance that he was not a good man. He's been patting your ass behind you. I was very angry and said to him, stop the donkey driver in front!
In the silent night, a sad cry pierced the night sky. But-please don't be afraid, okay? I know you will be sad, because he is your kind after all, but killing pigs happens every day.
I heard that you were sentenced to 10 years. I'm surprised that you just farted while swimming and floated a lot of fish, plus 20 divers and 8 submarines. But experts insist that you release chemical weapons, which is really cruel!
Christmas is coming. For the sake of the environment and resources of the earth, please consciously reduce the purchase of traditional paper greeting cards. You can send me a congratulatory message in large face value RMB. Thank you!
Missing is an infectious disease, and it can also be transmitted through mountains and water. When you open it in an envelope, it smells like medicine. Are you sick today?
I like rainy days, I like to listen to the sound of rain hitting bananas, I like to watch roses swaying in the wind, I like to watch your charming gesture of stroking your long hair in the drizzle ... demo, it won't kill you!
They say you are a real thing. I said you are a person, not a thing. Good things and bad things are things. How can a good man like you be a thing?
No matter the ends of the earth, I will follow you closely; No matter the seas run dry and the rocks crumble, I will always be with you. I want to shout out three words to let the world know: please eat!
On our friendship journey, sometimes you can't see me by your side. It's not that I forgot you and let you go alone. But I choose to walk behind you. When you accidentally fell down, I ran … stepped on my foot!
Find a friend: have a car and a house and have a fixed income every month. If you are interested, please contact me immediately-attached: a room-university dormitory for six people; Automobile-bicycle (absolutely environmentally friendly); Fixed income -265438+ monthly 0 yuan school subsidy.
After all these years, do you know how hard I have been looking for you? I traveled all over the world just to find a face like yours! This is my business card. Welcome to my plastic surgery hospital at any time!
Cowardice is not your nature, patience is not your destiny, silence gets you into trouble, and reserve is your heart disease. Whoever dares to disrespect you again, I will let you bite him!
The Tang Priest was kidnapped by a mountain thief. In order to demand ransom, the burglar called the Monkey King's mobile phone, and the prompt sounded: the other party has flown out of the service area! He asked Tang Priest: What's the date of Pig Bajie? Tang Priest: I sent it a short message, and it's watching!
If you were a meteor, I would chase you. If you are a satellite, I will wait for you. If you were a star, I would fall in love with you. It's a pity that you are an orangutan. I can only see you in the zoo! Oh, what a pity!
The melon at the foot of Dongshan Mountain is called white gourd, the melon near Xizi Lake is called watermelon, the melon outside Nantianmen is called pumpkin, and what about the melon on the sand near Nice Lake? Idiot, "good fool"!
The world record "Gisney" was chosen as cheeky today. Pigs are less than one centimeter, hippos are only five centimeters. In the end, you won the championship-you had the cheek to congratulate! Congratulations!
Your stomach is a little bigger, your neck is a little thinner, your head is a little shorter, your hair is a little less, your teeth are a little yellow, your thighs are a little shorter and your muscles are a little less. Besides, you 100% are handsome.
A fool is a fool, a dwarf is a melon, a cuckold is a watermelon, a big belly is a pumpkin, a bitter gourd without sweetness, a tasteless cucumber, and a loofah hanging on a shelf. These are not you-a fool.
Give you a gift with the heaviest amount of feces since there was feces. You will eat a catty and be full. If you feel that the amount of feces is not enough, please help yourself!
Types of pigs: domestic pigs are kept at home, wild boars are born in the mountains, stupid pigs are reading this news, stupid pigs are laughing, stupid pigs are angry, and dead pigs don't reply to the news.
Strange, strange, strange, strange, I found that Chun Lv and Chun Lv have mental problems. They don't eat, drink or rest. Where is Wen Chun Green? They are burying their heads in the news!
The persistent pursuit of love is infatuation, the dream of money is financial infatuation, the persistent pursuit of women is infatuation, and the indifference to this message is stupid!
Read with me. If you read it correctly, there will be a grand prize: I hope I forget it and forget it later. Wow, you scream really well. I will give you a bone!
A lamb to be slaughtered. The butcher came to catch him viciously, but the lamb said passionately, "What is there to be afraid of when you die?" When I finish reading this message. "
You are still so charming, wearing a plaid vest and walking leisurely, looking detached and lovely. I want to know how you hit the rabbit at that time.
Last night, I dreamed of you and sent you home. We walked towards a beautiful building. You said, you ran in. I looked at your figure and saw that it said mental hospital.
I saw you in the street just now. Why do you always shake your hair when walking? Pat yourself on the shoulder? A lot of dandruff is not like this, is it? Be careful not to be caught taking ecstasy!
I called you just now, and the prompt was "This user goes to the toilet, please dial later." I'll call you later, and the prompt says, "This user fell into the cesspit, please redial later."
Missing you is a common thing, missing you is a daily thing, dreaming about you is a nightly thing, loving you is a lifelong thing, and it is only a matter of time before cheating you.
You are as light as the wind, as gentle as water, as hazy as fog, as romantic as the moon, as warm as the sun and as tolerant as the sea. In a word, you are nothing like human beings!
On a cold winter morning, you struggled to paddle in the pool, breaststroke, backstroke, butterfly, freestyle and amazing diving! The old man on the shore was anxious: "Hey! You drank up the cesspool and didn't let me farm! "
Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! -I told you it's okay. What are you pressing? Idiot!
Your Excellency: I am financially strapped, my personality is inconsistent, my hobbies are colorful, and my life creed is a mess. What I wrote above is inseparable.
No matter how high the sky is, how deep the sea is, how hard the steel is, how strong the wind is, how long the feet are, how wide the river is, how strong the wine is, how cold the ice is, how hot the fire is … I just want to tell you that these are none of your business!
Miracle appeared: ducks fought; Fish flew into the sky; Cats and dogs form in-laws, and mice are their neighbors; Strange, why didn't I see you in the tree? No ... Pig's still the same?
Dusk is like wine, autumn wind blows willow gently, and chrysanthemums have been defeated for a long time. Where are you going? It was cold for a long time, but you didn't add clothes. Dogs are not allowed in the city, and the owner didn't hit you. You can call me at ease, so I don't have to worry all the time!
Invite me to dinner. If you refuse, I'll write your phone number on the wall, and add a few words in front of it: we specialize in gas stoves and are on call!
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