New skills for young men! I... I just want to see what brand of cosmetics she uses.

Introduction: The son asked his father: "Dad, why are you so handsome but I am so ugly?" Dad: "Because the weather pollution is serious." Son: "You are lying. Weather pollution has nothing to do with appearance." "Dad: "The weather pollution didn't see your mother clearly..."

1. I went home from a wedding banquet at a friend's house. My hat was blown off by the wind on the way, but I was too full to bend over. He had no choice but to kick forward with his feet. Seeing a pregnant woman walking towards him, he said, "Please help me pick up my hat." The pregnant woman glared at him and continued to walk forward. He smiled as if he had learned something, "Haha, I understand, and so do you. Went to the banquet! ”

2. Our company makes storage tanks, so we passed by the workshop for lunch. Today after dinner, everyone passed by a big jar. I don’t know who was the leader. He shouted at the entrance of the big jar. The echoes inside were very interesting. Everyone shouted louder than one. After a while, someone suddenly came out of the jar. One person yelled angrily: Damn it, who did you offend during your lunch break? Call me Nima! !

3. My son is four years old this year. Once my son made me angry, so he went to his father and planned to sue me for bullying him. My husband happened to be in the bathroom at that time, but he couldn't find his father anywhere, and I ignored him when he asked me. Finally, the child said in a loud voice: "Where is your husband? I guess he doesn't want you anymore and went to the supermarket to buy a wife!"

4. When I was a child, I often worried that after a person dies, he will be buried in the It was too uncomfortable to be underground; because I tried to hold my breath, it was too uncomfortable. People underground have to stay for such a long time, I don’t know how uncomfortable it is! Therefore, even though I was still a primary school student at the time, I advocated cremation among my classmates.

5. When I was a child, my mother asked me to learn to ride a bicycle. I said who would still ride a bicycle when I grow up? They all drive cars. When I grow up, reality tells me that my mother is right. I still have to ride a bicycle. Riding a bicycle...

6. There is a person who is arrogant and never wants to let others. One day, he was walking on the street, and someone came across from him and didn't give way to him. Of course he refused to give in, so the two of them faced each other in a stalemate. After a long time, the man's father came to him and asked him anxiously: "Why are you standing here? Your family is waiting for you to buy rice and go back to cook!" The son said: "I can't leave, this man won't make way for me. "Father: "Then you go buy rice, and I'll stand here for you to see who gives way to whom in the end!"

7. Let's talk about a small rural restaurant. Everyone who has eaten there says that his food is delicious and everything is delicious! I didn't believe it, but later I believed it. The small restaurant is on the edge of the Horqin Prairie. There are no other restaurants for 300 kilometers in front and back. I was starving when I went to eat. Everything tastes really delicious!

8. I confess to the goddess: If I were a drop of water, I would like to form the Pacific Ocean for you; if I were a star, I would like to form the Milky Way for you; if I were a diamond, I would like to set it as a crown on your head. If I were a cucumber... Goddess: I will turn you into a cucumber...

9. Go to China Unicom to renew your card today... I'll get it after it's done When I took out the phone, the girl looked at Tuhao Gold and said it was a small card. She clicked it and cut it with something like a stapler... I said I had a big card... I opened the back cover and the girl was dumbfounded... I shouldn't have spent the money. 400 to buy an iPhone with b.

10. I am so stupid! Just put on your swimsuit and down jacket at home and go swimming. I completely forgot to bring a bra to wear when traveling. result. Now I go shirtless and wear a down jacket while sitting in a friend’s car to eat. I am very worried that the heating in the hotel is too high and I need to take off my coat...

11. When a famous nutritionist gave a speech at an international diet conference, he talked about people's unhealthy eating habits. He said: There is a kind of food. are the most dangerous and should not be eaten at all. When people eat that food, it causes pain, sorrow, and disease. Unfortunately, many people still consume it. Then he asked the people present: Who can tell me what this dangerous food is? A man stood up and said: It's a wedding cake!

12. Brother, how have you been spending the past few months outside?

It's not bad, I read a book and masturbate occasionally, ah, you're okay with this! No, no, just kidding you, how could I possibly read a book.

13. In the past few days, my wife’s cell phone always rings on time after every meal. After she answered the phone, she always said to me sweetly: "Husband, Xiao Zhang has something to do with me downstairs." After saying that, she ran away like a gust of wind. Later I found out that my wife went to Xiao Zhang’s house to play mahjong. One night, I quietly put my wife's cell phone on silent, so she went to the kitchen to prepare tomorrow's dishes in disappointment before waiting for the call. Suddenly, Xiao Zhang knocked on the door downstairs and shouted to his wife when he entered: "Hurry up, I'm going to miss you." My wife hurriedly jumped out of the kitchen, fearing that I would find out her little secret, so she secretly approached Xiao Zhang. Pointing at me, Xiao Zhang said erroneously: "Oh, you are not going to play today, do you want your elder brother to go?"

14. An old man suffered from otitis media and took the bus to *** Car to the hospital. On the way, a young man was next to the old man. He smelled a strange smell and cursed: "Why do your ears smell so bad, old man?" The old man said: "Because he heard dirty words."

15. Two Men's Bar While drinking, a man said: I think my wife doesn’t understand me, where is your wife? Another said: I don't know, I haven't heard her mention you.

16. My husband has been getting up at six o'clock for many years to go for a walk with the dog. One day, the dog died. The husband lay in bed and thought sadly for a long time, and finally woke up his wife: "Would you like to go for a walk with me?"

17. I don't care that she is a bit short at 172cm, and that she is a bit heavy at 50kg. , didn’t care that her D-cup cup was a bit small, but she buried it in her heart without saying a word. If you like someone, you will like everything about her. You like her elegant movements when she takes money from her brand-name bag to treat your friends to dinner. Even her father’s carelessness like giving the villa a fingerprint scanner to make it look like a middle finger makes her family cute. Life We need such plain love.

18. Me: Wife, can you not use my hard-earned money to raise a man outside? Wife: No... Me: Then tell me what happened to the man named Ma Yun. . Wife:...

19. There was a history class in junior high school. There was a little chaos in the class. My roommate and I were fooling around below. The teacher suddenly asked seriously: What was a famous saying by Cao Cao at that time? What? I just pinched him, and it probably hurt... The guy stood up and shouted: I'll fuck you...! ! Then... he was beaten violently...

20. On a dark and windy night, Daming was working the night shift alone at the highway toll station, when a sudden gust of wind came! With the low roar of the engine, he saw a black car slowly stopping at the toll gate. Daming looked up and took a closer look! There's no one in the driver's seat! ! The panicked Daming quickly raised the railing to let him go! The black car drove slowly by... What happened next? Later... the car slowly drove into "Kaifeng Mansion".

21. The husband was away on a business trip for a long time. One day he called his wife: "Dear, what happened to the expensive poodle I bought?" "It's dead!" "Oh my God. ! This is so exciting! Why don't you tell me in a tactful way? For example, you can say: 'It climbed onto the roof and accidentally slipped downstairs... and then it disappeared.' It feels better, do you understand?" "Of course I do!" "Dear, tell me, how is my mother doing now?" "Oh, she also climbed on the roof..."

22. I was discovered by the teacher playing "Rhythm Master" on my mobile phone in class, and the teacher called me to the office. "Teacher, I was wrong!" "You know you are wrong? The record I worked so hard to set is broken by you like this."

23. The carps in the Miluo River have been particularly excited these days, as if they were Get ready to celebrate something. A turtle asked in confusion: Why are you so happy about a happy event? "Carp said with a smile: "You don't know? In the past few days, people will throw a lot of delicious food into the river, saying it is to commemorate a poet? Isn't this a happy event? "The turtle then asked: "The poet lives in the river? "Carp said tirelessly: "It's so uneducated! It's the Qu Yuan who wrote "Li Sao"! "Oh, it turns out it's 'Li Sao', no wonder you're so excited!" ” joked the turtle.

24. A college classmate who studies history asked me to teach as a substitute. The old professor was talking about the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period. We, a science guy, had no interest in history, so we just lay there. The professor was talking in full swing. Suddenly, the old professor asked a question: "Why did Duke Huan of Qi go to the state of Lu?" Ci'ao, I was called up to answer, I don't know anything, so I casually said: "Gong Huan of Qi owes "Lu" 2 seconds later, the whole class laughed.

25. I was woken up by the doorbell early in the morning. I thought it was a courier. When I opened the door, I saw that it was a college classmate. I said: "Long time no see, come in and sit down!" He said: "I won't sit down anymore. Please sign for it."

26. Teacher: The final exam is coming soon, everyone needs to enter the academic mode. Xiao Ming: ... ...Boss: What? Xiao Ming, do you have any questions? Xiao Ming: I tried it just now, but the system prompted that the configuration is too low to enter this mode.

27. I’m going on a blind date tomorrow. I’m always on edge... Sister-in-law: What’s wrong? Me: Going on a blind date tomorrow. What if there is a big difference between her and the photo? Sister-in-law: Well, let your nephew go with you tomorrow. Me: Why? Sister-in-law: If you win, let him call you uncle. If he doesn’t win, let him call you dad~ I have to say, my sister-in-law is really witty...

28. My roommate is gay. Today He bought a pair of binoculars to spy on the girl across the building. I couldn't help but ask: "xxx, although that girl is pretty and has good skin, aren't you gay? Gays should look at young men, right?" He blushed and replied: "What do you know? I... I just want to see what brand of cosmetics she uses!"

29. The young couple is getting ready for bed. Man: I'm on top. Woman: I'm on top. Man: I feel comfortable up there. Woman: I am at ease up there. Man: Okay, it’s up to you! Woman: Alas! When can I have a big house and stop sleeping in this bunk bed?

30. A farmer invited engineers, physicists and mathematicians to try to enclose the largest area with the fewest fences. The engineer built a circle with a fence and declared it the optimal design. Physicists stretched the fence into a long straight line, thinking it would be big enough to encircle half the Earth. The mathematician gave them a good laugh. He surrounded himself with a few fences, and then said: "I am outside now."

Editor's postscript: I was half asleep in the morning when my wife pushed me awake and told me that I wanted to, I looked at the alarm clock and told him that he had to get up for work in five minutes. Who would have thought that she actually said four words like a bolt from the blue, the time was just right! ! Cosmetics advertising slogans

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Classic phrases for cosmetics

1. Cool and refreshing, the whole family can enjoy it.

2. Romance can start every minute.

3. I am twenty this year and eighteen next year.

4. If your hair is not beautiful, our faces will also be dull.

5. What else do you need before the wedding?

6. The first in China and well-known at home and abroad.

7. Smooth and moist skin is always flattering.

8. The noble and romantic "Paris Night" helps you win in life.

9. Put my sincerity in the palm of your hand.

10. When you need to compete with others.

11. Get rid of "spots" as soon as possible and don't leave "beans" behind.

12. The Great Wall will never fall, and domestic products should strengthen themselves.

13. Fall in love with your hair.

14. The "six gods" have a master, and the family has no worries.

15. When I feel at ease with my hair, I feel at ease with my heart.

16. Just as you are different from other women, "Dana" is also different from other perfumes.

17. It stays on your fingertips for the longest time.

18. There is no need to envy others, "Pompei" will make you look outstanding.

19. To be healthy is to be bright.

20. I will never regret it as my clothes become wider, and I will always remember Ninghong Slimming Tea.

21. A pair of cracked hands is not suitable for social occasions.

22. One drop is for beauty, two drops are for lover, and three drops are enough to cause an affair.

23. If you want good skin, use Dabao sooner or later.

24. Be careful not to offend others with your breath.

25. As real as breathing, truth is the only word to remember, truth is a free face. Vacuum is perfection after precipitation.

26. Conceive for beauty and youth.

27. Sprinkle a little on yourself and anything can happen.

28. Who would notice lifeless lips?

29. It saved the face of our country.

30. Less hair on the comb and more hair on your head.

31. Time can only make it more beautiful.

32. Full of femininity.

33. Beautiful skin starts with Pond’s.

34. Any resistance will collapse in front of it.

35. Let today’s face be soft and charming, and treasure tomorrow’s face.

36. Fresh and refreshing, not tight.

37. Women should always have a little vanity.

38. Do you hope you will still be young when you are fifty?

39. Your brilliance comes from my style.

40. Star style and pure care.

41. Beauty comes from the heart, and beauty comes from Maybelline.

42. The whole charm of American women.

43. Every bride’s secret weapon.

44. The focus of every gaze.

45. Keep the fragrance and don’t worry about being loved by no one. Classic cosmetics advertising slogans

1. Professional skin care, whitening is always there.

2. Enjoy the beauty of nature.

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11. Puyan skin care should be suitable for you!

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15. The beauty lies in nature and beauty.

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20. Natural beauty, Eifei Laiting.

21. Pu Yan Skin Care, your impression, my charm.

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23. Love comes flying, Ting is destined to be a woman.

24. Vitality comes from nature, and charm comes from quality!

25. Ai Fei Laiting, a confidante.

26. Take you into touch with the essence of beauty.

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28. The love is endless and the beauty is endless.

29. With Pu Yan, you can be so beautiful despite your simplicity.

30. You are beautiful in your simplicity, and Pu Yan makes you even more beautiful.

31. A moment of leisure is 100% beautiful.

32. Puyan skin care protects your appearance.

33. Fall in love with beauty, fall in love with Aifei Laiting!

34. Ai Fei Laiting, beautiful new life.

35. Let simplicity become as beautiful as a flower!

36. Effie Laiting is so beautiful that it’s really different.

37. Decrypt the secret of beautiful skin, Efei Laiting.

38. Take care of your beauty simply.

39. Ai Fei Laiting, you are also a star.

40. Ai Feilai Ting, you are fine and I am also Ting.

41. One second of choice, ten years of beauty.

42. Natural Effie, a different kind of innocence.

43. Every day with you is beautiful.

44. Ai Fei Laiting: Give the skin an eternal core.

45. Complete essence, natural (natural) skin beauty.

46. Pu Yan is calm and clear about the true meaning.

47. Fashionable skin comes from Aifei Laiting!

48. Ai Fei Laiting, your beauty is naturally decorated.

49. Choose Aifeilaiting and enjoy a magical life!

50. Arouse radiance with your heart!

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54. It turns out that I can be so beautiful.

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56. Aifeilaiting’s beautiful new beginning.

57. Care for whitening skin and protect a beautiful life.

58. Make a beautiful day and discover a more beautiful self.

59. With Aifei Laiting, beauty will accompany you throughout your life.

60. Love me, starting from every inch of my skin.