Joke Collection Website - Mood Talk - After exchanging souls with a cow
After exchanging souls with a cow
Because after the soul exchange, I lived in this pair of people's bodies, thus having this person's memory and mastering the human language. Correspondingly, after the soul exchange, he-the person who lives in the body of the cow-also mastered my memory as a cow and mastered the language of the cow. So we have mastered both human language and cow language, both human memory and cow memory.
In addition, there is one more thing: after the soul exchange, Niu and I both hope that others will recognize us as human beings. After all, being a man is more glorious.
Because people and cattle have different vocal organs, although we can speak human and cattle, the direct communication between people and cattle is limited to us. I can understand other cows, but I can't talk to other cows; Similarly, he can understand others, but he can't talk to others.
After the soul exchange, I took possession of the human body, which is advantageous from the biological level. Subordinates are promoted to superiors, and the original superiors are reduced to subordinates. Therefore, contradictions arise. He has been urging me to tell the truth of this matter to the world, and then to gather talents who can exchange souls.
Naiyu's situation is similar to that of "a dumb person eating Rhizoma Coptidis can't tell if he has a bitter taste", so I, the only person who can communicate with him, is his only hope. As we all know, the superior is extremely unwilling for such a thing to happen. But suffering from unpredictable things, cows are extremely difficult to deal with after they have a human soul. In just two weeks, the contradiction between us intensified to the point where I had to compromise.
In order to convince you that this is not a farce, I also need to tell some basic information about ourselves and the details of some events that happened to us in this short time after soul communication. You'll know after reading it yourself.
First of all, I have to introduce our names. His name is Niu Mengmeng, and his name is quite domineering, but his parents always call him by his nickname: Niu Niu. Therefore, all his friends make fun of him and call him Niu Niu. However, after the soul exchange, this helpless embarrassment has always been borne by me. My previous name, that is, the name of the cow, is called moo. All cows are called moo, but there are differences in tone and length of ending.
However, Niu Mengmeng didn't want to use my cow name or give himself a new name after knowing the naming rules of cows. He felt it a shame to have a cow name. This belongs to the mentality of the superior after the subordinate, and I don't blame him.
Only in this way, when other Niu Jiao visited him, he ignored me and ruined my good luck. I'm not angry about all this because I'm in charge. But what makes me angry is that he doesn't allow me to use his name. Fortunately, I was relieved when I knew the disadvantages of his name.
Although his parents and friends still call me that, I just call him. Therefore, I gave myself a name, Hao. But he still refused to allow my name to have the attribute of cow, so that I would always remember that I was a cow, so he called me rhubarb. Just because my predecessor was Daniel.
However, his family has a little dog named Xiao Huang. I don't want him to have reason to tell other cows that I am the big brother of the puppy, so I don't agree. Finally, I got angry. Someone called me and I ignored him. I turned a good boy and a good student who was very sweet in the eyes of my parents and teachers into a bad boy and a bad student who did all kinds of evil. The reason will be explained later.
Now, I need to briefly talk about some things before the soul exchange happened. It happened during the busy farming season, and I can't remember the exact date, because we were all in a coma for some time. Niu Mengmeng is sixteen years old this year. My cow is almost four years old, and the one-year-old cow is about four years old, so I am sixteen years old this year. Of course, I didn't know this age conversion rule before the soul exchange, and I didn't even know I had the age of a cow. I was almost five years old. However, people's 20-year-old and cattle's 5-year-old are all youthful ages with strong hormones, which is nature. Therefore, I have always acted according to my nature at that time.
When plowing, I always peek at cows plowing in other paddy fields, especially heifers, which makes me feel refreshed and hot-headed, and my body is a piece of iron. I don't feel tired dragging a rake behind me, and even want to take all the work of those heifers on myself.
But the host family doesn't allow it, especially the bull is fierce. How selfish he is! Every time I go to another paddy field after work, Niu Mengmeng will beat me back and try to put me in the bullpen, because he just wants to get rid of me and do his own thing. Every time I hit my back or ass with a bamboo pole, there will be a bloody mark the thickness of my thumb swollen. The cow was shocked to see it! However, even if the hormones brought by nature are strong, I can't resist my master's family, otherwise I will not be a cow, but an animal.
Fortunately, Niu's parents can sympathize with my feelings. Every time after work, they ordered Niu Mengmeng to take me to the grass by the river to relax. So, I waited for the arrival of other cows by the river. It's just a pity that I finished the work ahead of time, so when the other cows come, I will be driven back to the cowshed by the bulls. This time he has a good reason-I have had enough rest! So, my time with other cows is very short. However, in this time when there is not enough time to talk about love, I have to fight with some competitors and provocateurs, and finally I have to say goodbye to my lover. Ah! My youth passed away in such a day!
In contrast, cows are full of youth! He is in high school now. He is handsome, studies well and holds a scholarship from the school. Therefore, he has the capital to chase girls. Girls are also willing to fool around with him and do many things. However, they have completely deceived their parents and teachers. So in the eyes of parents and teachers, he is a golden phoenix in a mountain nest. Therefore, he can be said to be proud of the spring breeze rather than against nature! These are all things I know from his memory after the soul exchange, which hardly makes me angry! At that time, I thought, if only I stayed in my body, I would have less trouble if I knew less.
However, soon after the soul exchange, I fell in love with this man's body. Next, I want to talk about how proud I am and how sad Niu Mengmeng is!
As I said above, I am now in a hormonal period. Although I entered the human body, this nature belongs to the soul and becomes only a medium. Moreover, because my nature was severely suppressed in the cow body stage, I indulge myself now! Although I also have people's memories and the concept of the world, I am still dominated by the memory of cattle and the world outlook of cattle, so I don't do housework or study hard, eat, drink, play, fight, rape and plunder, which are all my favorite. Finally, I have to say that I have become a complete villain, a scum that everyone hates, and a scum of human society.
But what does this have to do with me? It was Niu Mengmeng who they abused, hated and cursed, not me. Therefore, I ignored these negative effects, so that no one called me "Niu Niu" anymore. They are all afraid of me, which makes my ears cleaner.
However, someone has to bear these consequences. Niu Mengmeng himself is now in the cow's body, and no one knows about it except me, so these consequences are not on his head. In the end, all these consequences fell on the parents of the cow without exception.
Although wealthy families can afford a lot of big scalpers, the families who really own big scalpers are actually poor families in rural areas. It is their only hope that their son has a good career at school, but now, a good son has suddenly become like this. Ladies and gentlemen, you can imagine how sad and helpless Niu Mengmeng's parents are at this time.
As the saying goes, "It never rains but it pours", which adds another layer of frost to parents' hearts: Daniel, another dependent at home, is also in trouble!
As we all know, this big cow is actually very fierce, and the soul exchange is carried out during the busy farming season. So, after waking up from a coma, I took the cow to plow the fields. The ox is strong and it is not a problem to wait for this acre of land, but its fierce willpower is too strong. After dragging in the rice field for a long time, I finally finished my work. Niu Mengmeng was taken to the river by his father, and when his feet were soft, he lay prone on the grass, and he even had no strength to eat grass. The cow's father only knew that Niu Gang woke up and his physical strength had not recovered, so he walked away alone and let the cow have a rest.
As soon as he left, the heifer I loved came around, staring at the cow lying on the ground, talking sweetly and begging for mating. Although Niu Mengmeng has a cow's memory and worldview, that part of human nature still dominates. Therefore, although he is also hormonal, he can't have sex with cows anyway. Although this phenomenon is very common in the cattle industry, cattle always remember that they are human beings, not cattle, and once they are dry with cattle, they are animals. So, cows turn a blind eye to those cows. However, Niu Mengmeng can't cover his ears with his hands like people. So he heard the vicious words of those cows and called him "heartless", "impotence" and "revenge on the cows" This is the same for all women. What they say when they are angry is true. So, in a short time, there are five big yellow cattle and big black cattle surrounded Niu Mengmeng.
Niu Mengmeng never fights with others when he is alone. Now he is surrounded by the Big Five. How can he not be flustered? Although he is also a monster at the moment, he obviously forgets this and only remembers that he is a person. Besides, even if he realizes his identity, it won't help. With one enemy against five, he can only run for his life. So Niu Mengmeng suddenly stood up and ran away.
Despite his surprise, Niu Mengmeng was pushed to his ass by a big black cow, then tripped over a big yellow cow and fell four or five meters away. Instead of chasing him, five cows stood behind and laughed at him. Other cows also gathered around to watch his jokes and called him "coward", "coward" and "worse than an animal". The cow fought back her anger, stood up slowly and stumbled away.
It's not over yet. The next day, Niu Mengmeng dragged his tired body to finish his work and came to the river. As a result, he was surrounded again and was undoubtedly beaten again. In the evening, the cow returned to the cowshed scarred, and he wondered whether to escape into the mountains and end this miserable life.
But the next moment, he resolutely gave up the idea, because he remembered that he was alone and could not just run away when his parents needed him. Therefore, Niu Mengmeng needs patience. However, a week later, Niu Mengmeng couldn't stand it.
Niu Mengmeng screamed at the sky and decided to take revenge. Because Niu Mengmeng has both human wisdom and cow's body, he has the ability of revenge. He knew that it was extremely unwise for him to face those cows directly. Therefore, the cow had to wait for the opportunity. Finally one day, Niu's parents will come to see me at school, because I always get into trouble and have to be persuaded by the school. Of course, Niu Mengmeng didn't know I was going to be dismissed. All he knows is that this is a good time for revenge.
What a beautiful day! The cow slammed the cowshed door and swaggered out. First of all, he found the target-which fields were being plowed by the cows who bullied him, and then raised his tail wildly and yelled at them.
The farmers and the cows ploughing the fields were shocked! Those farmers thought that Niu Mengmeng was coming for himself, with only a bamboo whip in his hand, and could not resist the crazy posture of a monster, so they began to run on the ridge.
Paddy fields are full of potholes. For people with two feet, running can be very painful. They often get into the mud with one foot deep and one foot shallow, get wet and stand up, only to find that the cow didn't catch up.
Niu Mengmeng twisted his neck with a sharp corner and bumped into the stomachs of cows that were still in shock and could not move. It was not until these cows were held upside down in the rice fields that they and the farmers who were soaked to the skin realized what Niu Mengmeng had done.
As a result, both the cow and the farmer swore at the cow fiercely, "Damn it, see how I can punish you after work", "Damn cow, did you eat dog food today", "Get out of here, or I'll kill you" and so on.
Niu Mengmeng wanted to tease them, but when he heard the word "dog food", his whole body suddenly tightened! He can't stand having anything to do with dogs. How do those farmers know that he is a cow and can understand people?
So Niu Mengmeng grinned and strolled in the rice fields. When he saw the cow lying on his back, he rushed up and knocked it down. All day, the work of these farmers was delayed, and there were complaints in the small mountain village.
At night, Niu Mengmeng didn't dare to go back to the bullpen, for fear of being stopped by others, so he ran to the mountains while it was dark. In the next two days, Niu's parents haven't come back yet. Niu Mengmeng spread all his joy and gave up all his breath, as if he were a king and dominated this small land.
On the other hand, farmers have delayed their work for three days, and their cows are scarred. In this busy farming season, they really cry and cry! So Niu Mengmeng got a nickname, called "Niu Wangmo".
Finally, all the farmers organized to search the mountain, and they must catch the cow, cramp it, peel its bones, cut it into eight pieces, drink its blood and spit its flesh, so as to calm the public's anger.
But cows are fierce, and they can't catch the wisdom of others.
On the fifth day, Niu Mengmeng's parents came back and took me back. Therefore, the evil consequences caused by the evil deeds of cattle are all borne by their parents.
A group of people were stuck in front of their homes, telling stories about the fierce crimes committed by Niu, so I also knew these things. Niu's parents took a small amount of savings from a broken bag at the bottom of the box as compensation and promised to catch the cow themselves. After catching him, let him finish all the work that the cattle in the village should do, and then kill it. At the eastern end of the village, he put Niu Mengmeng in a stew and invited everyone to eat beef.
I also have people's memories and feelings with some people. Seeing that my parents were forced to do this, I finally felt uncomfortable. If the cattle are slaughtered fiercely, all these farmland will be finished this year, which is the hard work of the whole family.
So, I began to plead for the cow. On the one hand, I asked Niu Mengmeng's parents and farmers not to slaughter Niu Mengmeng, and tearfully told them what kind of devastating disaster Niu Mengmeng would bring to our family; On the other hand, I promised to bring Niu Mengmeng back in person and make him kneel to all the farmers and all the injured cows in public, so that I could apologize. Under what circumstances can a cow kneel? Especially a majestic cow has to kneel in front of its companions, which is enough to show its sincerity!
After listening to my words, the farmers had to give up the pot of beef stew and nodded helplessly. They agreed to go to the east of the village at three o'clock the next day to witness the cow kneel down. Finally, they took the money and went home.
That night, I went to the mountain to find Niu Mengmeng. Because I used to be a great person, it is not difficult to find a great person. I told Niu Mengmeng everything. He had no idea that he would fall into such a terrible disaster. What broke his heart was that he brought trouble to his parents, so he agreed to my request-kneel in public at the east end of the village at three o'clock tomorrow afternoon.
However, Niu Mengmeng added, "I have one condition."
I said, "What conditions?"
Niu Meng looked at me with huge eyes: "I ask you to make the secret between us public, offer a reward, gather talents, and then exchange our souls."
Ladies and gentlemen, I have only been a person for a short time, and I have just felt the benefits of being a man. I won't be awesome again! But I couldn't refuse directly, so I was silent.
However, Niu Mengmeng has a bad temper now. How can I be silent? So he said with a cold face, "If you don't promise, I won't kneel down for them and make trouble every day." Anyway, now they think you are a bull. If this house is destroyed, do you still have books to read? Do you still have time to have sex? At that time, you will suffer! Hum! I, on the other hand, have the wisdom of human beings and the strength of cattle, so I can run amok in this land. Anyway, there is a mountain behind the village. Advance is advance, retreat is retreat. Who can resist me? "
Hearing him say this, I also broke the jar and roared: "Hum! Anyway, I have tasted the benefits of being a man, and I want to leave this home and fly away. Do you think it's me who suffers? It is your parents who suffer. If you have the heart to watch them suffer, you can go to the wild and be your mountain king. Do you think I have anything to lose? Even if we all die in the end, people will stew you and eat meat when you die, and I will at least be buried when I die. Haha! "
Niu Mengmeng shouted: "Good! In this case, I will let you die now! "
So he rushed in front of me, knocked me down and put his two sharp corners against my chest. Until now, I realized that I had no advantage since I faced that fierce cow alone. How can my delicate chest resist those two horns that are as hard as steel and as sharp as swords? So, I can only compromise.
The next day, Niu Mengmeng ran to the east end of the village at eight o'clock and knelt down until three o'clock at noon, motionless.
All the farmers and cows who came to watch the excitement were moved, and all the people and cows present shed tears.
When Niu's parents saw Niu, they were in tears. They approached the cow with trepidation and helped him up. Niu Mengmeng was already in tears. He stood up and ran to other people's rice fields to work for others.
Seeing this, those farmers are more convinced of the cow's sincere repentance. "There is no end to the sea of bitterness, and turning back to the shore" also applies to cattle!
Farmers are kind, and so are those cows. They forgave Niu's sin, refused to let him take the place of ploughing, and returned the compensation given by Niu's parents. Villagers, it is not easy for everyone!
Although the truth has been made public, no one has come yet. However, many things have changed since Niu Meng fell to his knees.
Niu Mengmeng is becoming more and more like a cow. He is more competent than I used to be, because he knows all kinds of instructions from his master like the back of his hand. He is down-to-earth and conscientious at work, and he takes the initiative to make friends with him at rest. I don't think there is a better cow in this world than Niu Mengmeng.
At the same time, under the threat of cattle and the guidance of human nature, I am more and more like a person. Although this statement makes me feel weird, it is true, at least I will never do anything like an animal again.
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