A mother felt that after her daughter got married, she only went back once every two years. I understand the meaning of son preference. what do you think?

Some people prefer boys to girls, not in the real sense.

I once knew an aunt. She said that when she was young, there was absolutely no concept of son preference, and so was her husband. She felt that both boys and girls were her own children and liked them.

So, they only have one daughter. Even once, she had a bad relationship with her mother-in-law because of this incident. Mother-in-law means to have another son, but she thinks one is enough.

Her idea at that time was to give all her love to a child to make up for her childhood regrets.

When I was young, it was because my mother couldn't take care of four children at home that the obedient one was always ignored. She is sensitive and uncomfortable, but she still bears it silently.

So she said that she didn't want her child to experience her life again, so as to give her the best love.

She thought so, and naturally she did so. Everything looks beautiful. It was not until her daughter got married that her mood changed and she began to recall what her mother-in-law said.

However, her understanding is different from that of her mother-in-law. Mother-in-law prefers boys to girls simply because she prefers boys to girls, and when she is old, she begins to have new ideas.

This idea consists of two aspects.

First of all, on the one hand, I married half my daughters from other places. Her daughter, when she grew up, found a husband who was a little far away. Originally, she didn't agree and didn't want her daughter to go so far.

However, when the child is older, she can't stand her insistence. She can't really let her daughter leave the person she loves because of disagreement, so she has to compromise.

As a mother, in the face of such a thing, what can I do except compromise?

With mixed feelings, she agreed to the marriage. After her daughter got married, she didn't come back in the first year, and she still didn't plan to come back in the second year. Finally, at her request, she went back to play for two days after the New Year.

She originally wanted to teach her daughter to forget her mother when she got home, but she didn't want to say a word after learning of her daughter's grievances.

02

As a woman, what kind of man she will marry and what kind of life she will live in the future.

This kind of life may not be what you want to choose, but obviously, most people often have no choice in marriage, especially women.

She said that her son-in-law is also a good man. She has been in love with her daughter for two years and is very kind to her daughter. Otherwise, her daughter can't marry him without hesitation.

However, everyone has advantages and disadvantages. The daughter told her that her husband is a man with serious male chauvinism, so he didn't discuss where to spend the New Year after marriage.

In the first year, my daughter thought of marrying in the past, and naturally she had to spend the New Year at her mother-in-law's house, so she didn't mention it back.

But the next year, when she said she would go back, she was strongly opposed by her husband. That's an unquestionable attitude, saying it would embarrass their family in front of relatives.

Her daughter's husband is a face-saving person, and face is more important than life.

So they finally quarreled and didn't have a good year. They were all angry, but her husband still refused to let her go back. In order to be quiet at home, my daughter also compromised.

She said that her daughter was busy at work and had no time to come back. Although she often calls them, she is still worried.

Under such circumstances, she can't help feeling: "After her daughter gets married, she comes back every two years. I understand the meaning of son preference. " In any case, married daughters and sons' wives are different.

For the sake of family harmony, most women will choose a more peaceful way, just like her daughter, and will not really have a big fight with her husband for this matter, because it is thankless.

Besides, he is usually a reliable person, so it is natural to consider all aspects. If my daughter really comes back, it should be uncomfortable this year.

Therefore, she had to persuade her daughter: "It's okay, just try to come back as soon as possible."

03

Her second thought was her grandson.

After four years of marriage, my daughter gave birth to a son. At this time, the focus of life completely shifted, and I contacted her much less than before. After all, my family is full of busy things.

She is really envious. Her grandparents can always take care of her children and see them every day. During that time, she bought a smartphone video to see more grandchildren.

She doesn't know much about it, and there won't be any problems, so sometimes she asks me with her mobile phone, what about this and that? However, after teaching, she only learned to send voice and video.

I can't remember the red envelope clearly, but I forgot it after teaching for a while, and then I continued to ask, "What's the point?"

At that time, at their request, my daughter would video for a while every night to let them see the children. The old couple were so happy that even their wife, who always didn't like to laugh, teased in front of the video with toys.

She really wants to take care of the children. Sometimes, the daughter and she spit out that the mother-in-law took care of the child carelessly and put the child down when the bath water was hot.

After listening, she always said, "If not, you can bring it back and mom will bring it for you."

If my daughter doesn't answer, she won't eat. After hanging up the video, she sometimes says to others, "How can I bring it with my grandparents?"? I am just a grandmother. "

Isn't it appropriate for others to persuade her? When she reached the age of enjoying retirement, she echoed: "This is also true."

But as soon as I turned around, I began to envy the twins next door: "If my daughter has two, can I put one in our house!" " "

A familiar person went to her house to play and said that her grandson came back and bought her many children's toys. In fact, when I first met my grandson, she was still in her arms.

The second time I saw it, the child had stumbled.

As she said, she is just a grandmother, so at this time she will think that if she is a grandmother, she can look after the children at any time. Thinking of this, she began to understand what her mother-in-law had said before.

04

The old man is afraid of loneliness and longs for companionship.

Especially in her case, when she was young, she gave all her love to her only daughter. Later, my daughter got married, not far from home, and fewer people came back, as if the rope of love had suddenly broken.

Although she doesn't want to admit it, she has to admit that although her daughter still loves them, she has changed since she got married, and her heart can't be completely on them as before.

Daughters will have their own homes, and others will care about them. When they go home for the Spring Festival, they need to consider other people's opinions.

This neglect was magnified after the daughter had her own child. She felt more and more lonely, and there were only two old people at home, so she had to continue to follow in the footsteps of her daughter and grandson.

She sometimes laughs and says that she really won't enjoy happiness. This kind of life is probably a worrying life.

The arrow of love is always downward, infinitely downward, but rarely turns back.

Children still love their parents because they used to get along with each other day and night, because of the kindness of their parents, because of the conditioned reflex of family, not because children put the arrow of love up.

Therefore, I think the new meaning that she gives to son preference is the greatest helplessness of a mother with only one daughter.