Reading Happy Life to Save "Unhappiness"

There is really too much to share with you when you watch "Live a Life Full of Flowers" today, because I personally think there are many ways to help us manage our emotions. It is very important for a person to control his emotions. First of all, talk about the benefits that optimism can bring to us.

First of all, optimism can make the immune system stronger. The human immune system is connected with the brain, and the psychological state is also related to the state of the brain. There is a lot of evidence that when a person feels depressed, some neurotransmitters in his brain, such as catecholamine, become scarce, thus increasing the secretion of endorphins. When the human immune system detects an increase in endorphin levels, it will reduce its own activities. If a person often falls into negative emotions such as sadness and keeps endorphins in the brain at a high level, the vitality of the immune system will be gradually consumed.

Secondly, optimism can make people maintain good hygiene habits. A 35-year long-term follow-up study of 100 Harvard University graduates found that pessimists are less likely to quit smoking and are more likely to get sick than optimists, while optimists are used to controlling their own destiny and are more willing to take positive actions, such as exercise, to keep healthy and prevent diseases.

Third, optimistic people have a lot of social support.

Finally, optimistic people are closer to "good things". Under the comprehensive influence of positive attitude, healthy lifestyle and extensive social support, optimists are more likely to stay away from bad things.

When you are anxious, stop.

Dan gilbert, head of psychology department at Harvard University, made a first-line study. He surveyed more than 2,000 people and found that many people spend 46.9% of their time thinking about things unrelated to their goals, such as what others are doing, interpersonal relationships, social norms, face and so on. In other words, what worries us is not this matter, but our thoughts on it.

Similarly, we sometimes say "you make me unhappy" to others. In fact, it is not because this person makes us unhappy, but because we feel that some things he does have other meanings or hurt us and make us unhappy.

So, are there any other different explanations? Can we get good results from it? We can change our views on these things, consider various possibilities from different angles, and perhaps change our mood.

If you think too much makes you feel stressed, you can also focus on what makes you happy and not think about what bothers you. If you like drinking tea, you can drink tea slowly; Take time to taste tea; If you like listening to music, then you appreciate music; If you like reading novels, you can read them slowly. Discover the experience that makes you have a "blessing flow". With so many experiences, your brain has no time to think.

Another suggestion is to give yourself three minutes to react and calm down your excitement, instead of acting with negative emotional impulses. If it really doesn't work, force yourself to concentrate on counting, and count to a certain number before you speak or do anything.

When we are in a negative state such as anger, our thoughts and actions tend to focus on the familiar options, and our tendency to escape is obvious. On the contrary, when we are happy and positive, our thinking will be more open, our behavior options will be richer, our actions will be stronger and more flexible, and our innovation ability will be significantly improved.

Both negative emotions and positive emotions are adaptive strategies chosen by human evolution, and they all have positive significance, so don't escape your negative emotions, so we need some methods to reverse our interest.

One is the ability of self-cognition, that is, the ability to perceive and recognize one's own emotional activities. In fact, we should have self-knowledge, not only show our advantages in front of others, but also don't deliberately cover up our shortcomings.

The second is self-control, that is, self-discipline and the ability to properly manage their emotional activities.

Third, self-motivation ability, that is, knowing how to stimulate one's potential and always being full of positive spirit towards life.

Fourth, the ability to recognize others, which is what we usually call empathy, can feel the tendency to understand others' emotions, wishes and actions. For example, "people share the same feelings" and "but I feel the harmonious heartbeat of the sacred unicorn" are actually talking about empathy.

Fifth, the ability to deal with interpersonal relationships. A person with popularity, leadership and harmonious interpersonal relationship knows how to "manage" others' emotions, make others happy and satisfied, make others happy and happy, and create harmonious interpersonal relationships.

How to control emotions is our compulsory course.

1, perception-control emotions and release pressure.

When you find yourself having negative emotions, whether it's someone else or yourself, don't reject him, but accept him and treat him as a natural thing to produce emotional fluctuations. This is our innate nature, so let ourselves fall into negative emotions, because it will block rational thinking.

You can take a deep breath slowly, and the air you breathe in is a cost. If you can do abdominal breathing, you will feel full when inhaling, then exhale slowly, spit it out and inhale again. After several deep breaths, your heart rate will drop rapidly.

2, reciprocity-don't do to others what you don't want.

When you are depressed, you can choose to be alone or talk to your good friends and relatives, but don't spread negative emotions to others at will.

3. Empathy-understand the feelings and emotions of others.

To understand the feelings of others, we must first expand our own experience, contact and understand the society. Only by experiencing enough and living a colorful life can we speculate and understand the psychological state of others with empathy. Some scientists have found that readers who read novels for a long time can better interpret other people's psychological activities. The more people read novels, the better they are at observing people's hearts.

4, acceptance-see it clearly, in order to overcome it.

Anxiety is not terrible. The scary thing is that you don't even know that you are in an anxious state, and you are completely controlled by anxiety. This is very dangerous. Accepting the status quo does not mean succumbing to what is happening, but figuring out the status quo. No matter how sad, painful, fearful and anxious we are, we should be clear about our inner experiences and feelings, so that we can know how to adjust our mentality and transform our emotions.

5. Management-controlling emotional activities and actively solving problems.

When we can face the status quo relatively calmly and objectively through the emotional storm, we should start to study the status quo, analyze the causes of this problem, and then prescribe the right medicine.

There is another situation. Sometimes the stress source is not ours. For example, the epidemic caused by COVID-19, many people's anxiety may come from the behavior of others (for example, neighbors did not take protective measures). Stop loss is also important. We should have the skills to stay away from and ignore this stressor and protect and take care of ourselves.

What should I do if I encounter setbacks?

Nine times out of ten, when people experience particularly unbearable pain, they will yell or hide at home and lie in bed without seeing anyone (behavior retrogression); When we feel angry and unhappy, we will go to the supermarket to buy things without restraint, or call names or even attack others (vent). These immature psychological defense mechanisms are not conducive to physical and mental health, and also have a great negative impact on our interpersonal relationships.

Therefore, in order to defeat these bad tastes, we must learn to turn defeat into victory, improve our psychological resilience and turn setbacks into opportunities.

1, separation. When you are hurt or hit and feel pain and depression, please shout "stop" to yourself at the first time. You don't have to keep these emotions in your heart, you can shout them out (provided that they don't affect the people around you) to stop the spread of frustration.

Then you have to ask yourself a few questions. Why is there such a result? Who should be responsible for this? What can I control and change? What needs the cooperation of others? Or is it none of my business? By calmly reviewing the reasons, background and what you can do. You can exert your subjective initiative to prevent such injuries from happening again in the future.

2. compensation. Emphasize some valuable qualities that you have to have to make up for some objective or subjective defects.

3. sublimation. Turn personal desires and impulses into goals that can be accepted and praised by society.

4.humor. Make good use of humorous language to ease the atmosphere, resolve anxiety, such as teasing and self-deprecating, become an interesting person, and make life easier with humor.

5. altruistic public welfare behavior. Do things that are meaningful to society and get happiness from helping others. The mortality rate of the elderly who often volunteer is 44% lower than others, and the mortality rate of the elderly who volunteer for more than two times is 63% lower than others. Exercise four times a week can reduce the mortality rate by 30%, participate in religious activities by 20%, and quit smoking by 49%. In other words, the fitness effect of helping others is second only to quitting smoking. If you often help others, I'm afraid you'll be afraid to die.

If you apply these methods of saving "unhappiness" to the control of self-emotion, you will feel that life seems to be brand-new. A scientific understanding of emotions can help us improve ourselves and "control" others' emotions.