Very popular funny classic sentences on WeChat, accompanied by funny sentences.

In the evening, a little girl got on the bus and said, Master, drive quickly. There is a pervert chasing me. Then I heard someone shouting behind me: Nana, wait for me. Listen to me. As soon as I was happy, the car dumped that man as soon as it stepped on the gas pedal.

The flight attendant on the train had a bad attitude and turned on a hot spot with his mobile phone. The name is "Ask the stewardess for the free WIFI password", and she is bored to death.

On the bus, I saw a couple as soon as I got on the bus. I went up to the man and said, "I'm pregnant." The man looked at me in shock, and the woman stared at me with wide eyes. The air froze for three seconds, then the woman slapped the man and got out of the car. Before I finished, I said, "Give me your seat?"

It is said that the learning degradation of two people at the same table can be divided into four stages. Did you do your homework? Did we do it? Yes, did you borrow a book to do my homework? No, of course not. I didn't do it either. Hehe, I'm dying. Did you do your homework? What homework? I don't know, either.

On the wine table, some ignorant people often say to me, "eldest brother, if you don't drink this cup of wine, you will look down on me!" " "At this time, I usually drink the wine and say to him," I did, but I still look down on you. "

I was awakened by the alarm clock in the morning, and an angel and a demon appeared in my mind. The demon said, "It's so warm under the bed, why bother to get up and work?" The angel said, "What is the noise in the morning? People can't sleep! " "

At the New Year's party, I just missed someone, so I ordered first, and the restaurant soon served all the dishes. When our classmates didn't come for a long time, we ate first until all the plates bottomed out, and the waiter's secret service quickly put away all the empty plates. At this moment, my classmates arrived. He looked at the empty table and said, I'm sorry to have kept you waiting so long. Let's order! This meal is on me! Hearing this, we didn't explain, and silently picked up the menu again.

The goddess said, "I dreamed of you last night." I was surprised and asked, "What did you dream about me?" "I dreamed that my male god proposed to me, and you applauded and shouted: marry him, marry him."

My mother always urges me to get married. I said, "Don't worry, you have to believe that there will always be someone waiting for me." My mother thought about it and asked, "How terrible?" I'm speechless.

I took the bus today and saw a boy and a girl sitting together. The girl fell asleep at the window. The boy looked at the girl and kissed her face gently. The girl woke up. If they knew each other, what a beautiful picture it would be.

I accompanied my wife back to my parents' house and stopped a taxi. I asked: How much is the master going to the railway station? The driver said 10 yuan, and the hobo's wife said: 15 is it ok for two people? When I go to your mother's house, I must let my father-in-law return it!

A new girl has a happy name. Colleagues said how happy your family was when you were born. My sister said, my name is Bai, and the world suddenly became quiet.

My mother's youngest nephew just complained to her, aunt, why don't girls want to associate with me? I'm actually kind. The old lady replied, good boy, kindness is invisible, ugliness is visible.

To test whether a boy likes you, you can stare at him 18 seconds to see if he will kiss you. To test whether a girl likes you, you can stare at her for 18 seconds to see if she will laugh. I don't think this experiment can succeed at all in Northeast China, because it is estimated that the following dialogue will take place in less than 5 seconds: "What are you staring at?" "See you zha of!

Brother-in-law, if you don't buy me an iphone6, I'll tell my sister about us. Haha, aunt, you are so naive. Your sister has said that if I buy her an iPhone6, she will let bygones be bygones!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you family, thank you ancestors for 18 generations!

In the first 20 years, we ate, slept, played and enjoyed life; For the next 40 years, I was struggling to support my family; And recently 10 years, squatting at the door every day, greeting passers-by?

My new girlfriend gf and I have just established a relationship and will break up with me in a week, just because I haven't read Octavio Paz's books and Borges' poems.

When I laugh, my smile is full of poet-like bohemian temperament, but behind this bohemian, there is a delicate and warm emotion. When I am silent, I look up like a pure and graceful girl in the choir and a noble with a deep and elegant head. Yes, I am such a man who perfectly combines various seemingly irreconcilable qualities.

Since ancient times, there have been no charming mothers on the Internet, but there are several pairs of mandarin ducks and perverted pheasants.

I don't like sleeping with a woman many times, but I like sleeping with many women only once.

The escalator broke down when I left the subway station this morning. I was stuck up there for over an hour, so I was late.

Don't hang yourself on a tree, try to die on several trees several times-if you die, you will die completely!

I'd rather you hold another woman and miss me than you hold me and miss another woman.

The difference between life and existence is heaven and earth. How many people are alive and how many people are alive? Are you alive or alive?