Stay away from people who have a sharp mouth and a soft heart.

Author: Mumu

　01

When I was in my hometown, there was an Aunt Zhang in the community who was very good at talking.

You can often hear her arguing with others upstairs. Her voice is sharp and sonorous. It can crackle and explode in an instant like a firecracker, and it can boom like thunder in spring.

Once, a hawker was selling vegetables downstairs with a vegetable basket. Aunt Zhang happened to be downstairs. When she saw the vegetables sold by the hawker, she went up to her and asked, "Your vegetables are filled with pesticides." Right?"

The hawker smiled apologetically: "No, no, sister, this vegetable is grown by myself, and there is absolutely no pesticide."

"I don't think so, you. Look at your cowpeas, there aren’t even any bug holes. This kind of vegetable is the easiest to grow bugs. I used to grow it in my hometown, so don’t think I don’t understand.”

The vendor was a little confused. , they were just selling vegetables, but before they even opened, they were told something in front of them, which affected their business. Naturally, they felt unhappy, so they also said: "I said there was no spraying, so I didn't spray. You said I administered the medicine, you have to provide evidence."

Aunt Zhang was scolded, and the unknown fire in her heart burned instantly, so she choked back: "You said you are a sell-out. Damn it, let me tell you what's wrong? If you have no guilt in your heart, why are you so anxious?"

The two of them were at war with each other. You and I started to do this with each word, and others saw it. He quickly pulled away.

Someone stepped forward to apologize for Aunt Zhang: "Don't be like her. She is just like that. She is mean-spirited and strong-willed. Don't forget her heart."

Okay, what a sharp-tongued statement.

This arrogance is not only reflected in the treatment of outsiders, but also in the treatment of one's own family members.

One day, Aunt Zhang was playing mahjong downstairs. She probably didn’t have very good luck with the cards that day, as her face turned from sunny to cloudy.

Her son, Xiaoduo, was getting ready to go to school. He came to her side and said, "Mom, give me money. I want to go to school to pay my tuition fees."

It’s okay not to say anything, but these words made Aunt Zhang explode instantly. She pointed at the bridge of her son’s nose and started scolding:

Get out! Money, money, money, I know how to ask for money all day long. , did I owe you something in my previous life? You are just like your father, neither of them is useful, how come I have been so bad for eight lifetimes, following you two!...

Xiaoduo looked frightened and ran away in a hurry. He didn't ask for the money and was scolded without any warning. He probably felt more wronged than Dou E.

A few years later, I heard that Aunt Zhang got divorced. The reason is not clear, but I think that a man in his 40s who would rather leave the house than continue his marriage must be divorced. There are many dissatisfactions in marriage.

Language can also become a kind of violence. Think about it, cold words are like arrows, and the people around her have probably been riddled with holes and bruised by the thousands of arrows.

What kind of words you say determines what kind of person you are. When a knife sticks out of your mouth, there is already a knife in your heart.

There is a saying in "Zengguang Xianwen", "A kind word warms three winters, but bad words hurt a person and six months are cold."

The so-called 'a knife with a sharp mouth and a tofu heart' is actually an excuse. , people mistakenly think: "I have a sharp mouth but I have a kind heart."

Sorry, no one can see your kindness through those vicious words.

The person who spits knives out of his mouth does not have a heart of tofu, he only has a heart of knives.

　02

I have been working for ten years. During this period, I have changed three jobs and encountered several bosses with different styles.

W and H are two of the most representative ones, and what is more dramatic is that both of them have led the same team.

W is the wisest boss I have ever seen so far. He is far-sighted, magnanimous, and relaxed. The most important thing is that he knows how to speak well and understand the art of bringing people into their hearts, so People's hearts are drawn to them, and they are loved very much.

W always listens to everyone’s reports with a pleasant voice. There are nearly 500 people in the company, regardless of their position, seniority, or work difficulties. She will listen patiently and give point-to-point guidance in the right direction.

H was the person who led the team later. As an airborne soldier, he often boasted of being extraordinary.

When communicating with subordinates, it is rare for them to be calm. Instead, they are often domineering and aggressive. They often interrupt others impatiently before they have finished speaking. I will "greet" all the managers of the company by the way, and it seems that you are a bunch of **, and the former boss was blind to let you reach the middle level of the company.

What W often talks about is:

Our team is the best team, and our employees are the best employees. They work hard for the company and the company needs to treat them well. .

In fact, we all know that we are not perfect. For the trust of the boss, we work hard and actively innovate. Everyone is like cheating, and the company's cohesion is booming.

What H often talks about is:

Our employees are not grateful, our lower-level managers have never delivered positive things, and there are many things that are not good about our company. Reasonably, none of our managers can perform their duties properly.

In fact, these are H’s baseless self-guesses.

But because she talked about it too many times, many employees really began to complain about the company. Morale was low, the company's cohesion collapsed, and the performance became worse and worse.

Many times, the arrogance of words is often to cover up one's own incompetence.

Sometimes I feel that managing a company is like raising a child. First of all, you need to have enough vision and firm goals to be able to hold the child on your shoulders and let the child stand at your level. Go up and up.

Secondly, you also need to have empathy for your child. You need to squat down, have an equal conversation with him, understand his thoughts, and consider from his position. Only people with empathy can talk to each other well.

Without the ability to talk to your children properly, no matter how great a parent you are, it will be difficult to have a close parent-child relationship.

If you lose the ability to speak well to your employees, no matter how good a boss you are, it will be difficult to gain true team cohesion and lead an outstanding team.

People who speak well do so because they have good empathy. They will put themselves in the other person’s position and consider whether their words and deeds will make the other person feel uncomfortable. They will also think about how to communicate efficiently and how to solve problems reasonably, instead of expressing their own emotions or expressing their thoughts without any care.

What kind of words you say is actually what kind of person you are.

　03

One day I went to pick up my son from school, and someone drove a car into the pickup area.

The pick-up and drop-off area is originally small. For the safety of the children, the school has repeatedly emphasized that no vehicles are allowed to park in the pick-up and drop-off area.

The old man wearing a red armband and waving a small red flag to command order saw him. He walked to the car and said to the car owner:

Comrade, this may be your first time here. I'm not sure about the regulations, but parking of any vehicles is prohibited in the pick-up and drop-off area. You can walk to the front to see if there are any parking spaces.

When the driver heard this, he even said sorry, got in the car happily, and moved the car away.

I secretly admired this old man for being really good at talking. He not only smoothed the traffic, complied with the regulations, but also took care of the other party's face.

Of course the other party is willing to accept it.

If this old man comes up and shouts: "Hey, your car can't be parked here. I've said it many times that you can't park in this place!"

Waving the little red flag in his hand and pointing fingers, the car owner would probably move the car, but he was not particularly happy after all.

Perhaps when you encounter a bad-tempered master, it will be another verbal dispute.

When my mother-in-law opened a store to sell things, she knew how to take care of the buyers' self-esteem.

Buyers come to the door and make several recommendations. Once they find that the other party is embarrassed about the price, my mother-in-law will immediately bring out another one and tell others:

By the way, there is this. , this one has the same color and quality as the previous one, but because of the different manufacturers, this one is more affordable. This is what our family uses.

When people heard about it, they thought it was pretty good. They didn’t hurt their feelings by asking for money. They had a step down, and they bought good things. Being harmonious made them rich.

When the Wuchang tragedy happened, I often thought, if the shopkeeper could have spoken properly and explained to the noodle eaters why he wanted to add one dollar, instead of saying to the noodle eaters, "I will It’s so expensive, if you can’t afford it, just get out!” It is estimated that this tragedy would not have happened.

A person with good intentions and true compassion will never speak evil words.

When you speak evil words, you must have malicious intentions in your heart.

A person with truly high emotional intelligence will not spit out knives, because he knows that cold words will hurt others.

Many people will find an excellent excuse for themselves after spitting knives in their mouths:

Oops, I’m sorry, I’m such an outspoken person. I speak straightforwardly, but I don’t. Bad intentions, don't take it seriously.

When he said this, he often did not reflect on what he said was wrong, but mostly realized that he had said it before, and was afraid that the knife he spat out would cause any harm to him in the future. Influence, so I use "a knife's mouth, a tofu heart" to give myself a step down, so as not to offend others.

However, when he spit out knives, he had no heart at all. On the contrary, he only had a heart of knives.

A sharp mouth and a tofu heart are just to cover up one's low emotional intelligence.