There is an anxiety called involution.

When I first came into contact with the word involution, I said it with Qipa. I didn't know much at the time. It was not until the word was revived recently that I found it was not a good word, and it was negative.

What is involution?

This is an abstract and precise concept. To put it simply, involution means that the total amount of resources remains unchanged, and everyone actively or passively puts in more efforts, making the competition difficult to soar.

Friend a hasn't contacted for a long time. On this day, she said in a circle of friends: Autumn, please go quickly, I am lost.

"Hey, baby, I haven't warmed up enough. Do you want to be cool? " I teased.

Later, she called me and told me in detail about her recent difficulties. She said it was too difficult for her to work under high pressure.

She works in a state-owned enterprise and is responsible for data analysis and statistics. There is an employee in the company who calls himself a "model worker". Every day is the kind of person who works overtime from morning till night. The boss was naturally happy, and the employee was overjoyed.

In order to produce more such "model workers", the company decided to encourage everyone to work overtime every day. As soon as the news came out, the company was blown into a pot of porridge. This means that dating is a problem after you don't get married, and people who get married are going up and down, and they are too tired to turn around and leave. Except for the employees who are the appropriate beneficiaries, they have not made profits by working overtime.

In this way, after more than half a month, everyone still dares to be angry and dare not speak. In order to live and make a living, everyone can only choose silence and become each other's consumption.

Some people have said that you can quit your job, but where can we go when the involution begins to sweep our lives?

I don't know when involution became an anxiety. As my friend said, if we continue, there will be a face loss in her company: high skull top, hairline, swollen eye bubbles, nasal floor, mandibular line and facial depression. ...

However, with the growth of age, dreams are no longer light, and we begin to learn to weigh life with our hands, paying more attention to fruits than flowers.

Why do I think it is a negative word? Because I've been anxious about involution.

When I first came into contact with jade, I was full of curiosity and expectation. I feel the greatness of nature, and the jade it breeds can present a stunning beauty after artificial carving. As its beautiful disseminator, I have been working hard.

Fortunately, God didn't care for me, and I achieved good results a month later. But it didn't last long. In the middle of the second month, one day, I came to work. When my feet haven't set foot in the shop, I heard this conversation:

"Have you ever thought about how to arrange her for annual leave?"

"She can go to work normally," said the boss.

"Also, let her be silly first. I don't think much of her either. The first month was a fluke at best. I will wait until you come back. "

"How to speak? Don't worry, I still have confidence in her, "the boss said impatiently."

I stood there awkwardly, listening with a puzzled face.

When the boss saw me coming, he quickly said "You go first".

She smiled at me as usual, but I vaguely felt that the smile was no longer friendly.

"So all this time, you quarreled with her because of me?" I stared at her doubtfully and asked, in a tone of wanting to cry.

"I don't think you need to know so much, do your own thing. With me here, you don't have to worry about others. I am in charge of this store, "she said firmly. "

……

I held back my tears until I got off work that day and cried on my way home. I didn't cry because I couldn't stand those words, but I have been very disciplined since I joined the company, and I have nothing in common with her. The few times we met were also polite. I didn't know she had such prejudice against me.

She came to the store several times, and I always regarded her as the "gold owner"-making tea, moving and taking snacks.

With what? Why is she so loud? So big that the boss is reluctant to fire me, so big that the boss takes the initiative to bear the pressure that does not belong to her for me.

Why would she?

Is it because she arrived at the company before me?

At that moment, I felt so unfair and unconvinced. The girl told me before that she is a very Buddhist person. In my eyes, people like that are pious and beautiful.

And when I decided to be myself, she didn't know that what I took away was my desire and fantasy for Buddhists. What spreads out is my confusion and anxiety about the present.

Later, I didn't choose to resign, because if I quit, I would be sorry for what my boss insisted on for me, and I would also bear the fact that I just couldn't do it.

So, I live a tangled life.

During that time, apart from going to work during the day, I spent a little time looking up or memorizing information and reading books on sales at night.

The city shines generously all night, but I am afraid of the long night.

Countless nights, I have been thinking that I must refuel and sell money tomorrow. I have been selling jade in many dreams. I think I'm trying. I keep rolling every ordinary night just to stop crying.

I have to say that sales sometimes need to be completed by luck, and luck is a kind of strength. Later, as everyone thought, I still didn't leave.

I thanked my boss for his persistence at first, but because of my success, I couldn't say anything grateful to that girl.

Although I still don't understand why she did that, it doesn't matter to me anymore.

Chasing the wind and the moon? In fact, there are some things we don't have to worry about at all.

Life has never promised us that we can reach a certain level through involution. But it does have a way to make you sad, and once a person is sad for a long time, it will form a negative personality, which is a very heartbreaking thing.